What Makes A Good Marriage?

[Rollo Tamasi]

Are feelings more important than the truth? Is providing correction such a terrible thing to do?

What truth?
That Lovethroughdove has the best formula for a successful marriage, which is what this thread is about, or the truth that divorce is prevalent in our society in many ways, which is only a side issue in this thread at best?
What's the important truth to you Free?
That we talk about the evils of divorce or we talk about what makes a successful marriage?

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

I DON'T KNOW THE SUBJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love everyone on this thread.

If you marry everyone, do you think you'll have a successful marriage?

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

I have but not to the sour, nonsupporting side. Reba ripped the board over the coals and I promised her to change myself to be more acceptable and I believe I have softened a bit but I do not see that in you. You do not give any slack and the tone is harsh and cold wyhen you address me. I am still the same sorry Musician Igrew up to be, doing my best to serve the LORD in joy.

Sorry Bill, our differences are right here on these pages, nothing's hidden.

 

[Free]

What truth?

Well, within the context in which I asked these questions, based on what I quoted from you, I was clearly referring to someone being upset because statistics don't support their anecdotal evidence. No one was mean-spirited and so I don't understand why this has become such an issue. A straight answer from you would be nice.

That Lovethroughdove has the best formula for a successful marriage

What formula was that?

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

I'm not here to argue with you everytime you come online
good night

 

[Free]

I'm not here to argue with you everytime you come online
good night

I'm simply asking for answers. You don't seem to think that truth matters all that much and I am just wanting clarification.

 

[LovethroughDove]

I see this as being a spiritual battle, where people are put down far more than anyone is shown support concerning Christian principles.
It goes on around this forum everyday.

Hi Allen. Thank you for seeing me.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Sorry Bill, our differences are right here on these pages, nothing's hidden.

Okay but that is a reply that does not come from the Holy Spirit but is an issue of self promotion. And my LORD teaches us to regard others before ourselves, placing them above our needs.

You may not see it but you have gotten bitter. The way you speak to the ladies is quite rude and you never were rude before. Now I'll shut up and what, act like most Texans amd all Yankees and place you in the one more Mexican category? I really dislike doing a thing like that. Many of the men I fought the war with were from one Spanish Central American country or another. Without the people that came to be called Tex/Mex, this nation would be a good deal smaller and thed nation of Tejas/Texas would never have been.

I wish you well but I'll put you on ignore in thenext dayor so.

 

[LovethroughDove]

What formula was that?

I was just making the point that I did live with my husband before we were married and I wouldn't have changed that. I see no evidence in scripture to say we were wrong in doing so. Wondering posted the fornication scriptures to support the (not-living together stance). I loved my husband from before we decided to live together. I would not call what we did fornication (at all)
We are best friends and lovers and have a mutual respect for each other.

 

[for_his_glory]

Hi FHG

A couple of comments...

A couple might be married and then one of them becomes born again.
This is what happened to me. However, my husband is a very good person and a very loving person so things worked out. I still pray he would be saved, but I'm beginning to give up on that.

As to 1 Corinthians, I believe that as long as the unbelieving partner is alive, we are still bound to that person. We are bound to each other until death.

Why? Because marriage is a covenant between the couple and God. Each person of the couple being married has made a covenant vow with God. Jesus said divorce certificates were given in the Old Covenant because of the hardness of man's heart, but Jesus came to set things straight.

Genesis says that husband and wife will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

It says that a man will leave his mother and father -- the two most important persons in his life besides his wife, so the wife takes precedence. He is to cleave to his wife. This is how important marriage is.

Even after the fall, they still lived life together as a couple.
Why? Because of the same reason a couple should strive to stay together today...
So we could be helpmates, so we could support each other, so we could face life together and face old-age together --- should we be so lucky. Helpmate is such a great word.

It's good that marriage be forever. It gives peace to the couple. It assures them that they have a real partner and not just a temporary one, as is common today.

Never give up praying for your husband as you never know when your prayer will be answered and I too will pray for his salvation.

Marriage is a covenant, but many do not enter it as one as they know not God or His Son Christ Jesus. You are blest because you found Christ and even though your husband has not yet, (Emphasis on yet) the two of you have a good marriage for the right reasons, but many enter into marriage and then things go south like my first two as I entered the first one for the wrong reason and the second one I was deceived in thinking I was marrying a Christian man, but as soon as the I do's were said it's like I married Satan. Lots of mental and physical abuse that I actually fled for my own life and then filed for divorce. This is why I put a class together on marriage as I wasn't only learning for myself, but for everyone I can help with their marriages. Even though I was not looking for a third marriage God did put the right man in my path and we have been married now for twenty years and Christ will always be our center.

1 Corinthians 7:10, 11 Jesus commands the woman not to leave her husband and if she does she should remain unmarried or be reconciled back to her husband, but in Malachi 2:10-16 the treachery that man commits against a woman which leads him to have an affair outside of the marriage or abuses the wife whether it be physical or emotional gives place to what was said by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that if a woman is no longer pleasing to her husband then the husband should give his wife a written bill of divorcement and send her out of the house and this gives the woman the right to marry again, but she can never go back to her former husband if that marriage does not work out or her husband dies for now she is defiled to be with her first husband and this is an abomination to God.

 

[Free]

I was just making the point that I did live with my husband before we were married and I wouldn't have changed that. I see no evidence in scripture to say we were wrong in doing so. Wondering posted the fornication scriptures to support the (not-living together stance). I loved my husband from before we decided to live together. I would not call what we did fornication (at all)
We are best friends and lovers and have a mutual respect for each other.

You may not call it fornication but the Bible does and it's what the Bible says that matters, not what we feel or think it says. While love is necessary for a long marriage, the Bible doesn't base sexually intimacy on love between two people.

Deu 22:28 “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found,
Deu 22:29 then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days. (ESV)

1Co 7:1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
1Co 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. (ESV)

Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, (ESV)

Heb 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (ESV)

Sexual intimacy is only spoken of positively in Scripture when it is between one man and one woman who are married. The Bible places very high value on sexual purity.

 

[for_his_glory]

I was just making the point that I did live with my husband before we were married and I wouldn't have changed that. I see no evidence in scripture to say we were wrong in doing so. Wondering posted the fornication scriptures to support the (not-living together stance). I loved my husband from before we decided to live together. I would not call what we did fornication (at all)
We are best friends and lovers and have a mutual respect for each other.

There is no place in the Bible that constitutes having to have a marriage license. Man incorporated this into the law. In the Hebrew tradition a mohar or dowry was paid to the father of the bride by the groom in exchange for the daughter, Exodus 22:16, 17. Genesis 2:23-25 explains the bond of marriage. The two are united as one in the eyes of God. Ephesians 5:22-29 wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the spiritual head of the wife. Man is the provider and protector of his family. Husbands, you are to love your wives like Christ loves his church. This is an unconditional love that looks on the inside of a person and not the adorning of the outside. It is a love with a pure heart.

 

[for_his_glory]

You may not call it fornication but the Bible does and it's what the Bible says that matters, not what we feel or think it says. While love is necessary for a long marriage, the Bible doesn't base sexually intimacy on love between two people.

Deu 22:28 “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found,
Deu 22:29 then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days. (ESV)

Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, (ESV)

Heb 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (ESV)

Sexual intimacy is only spoken of positively in Scripture when it is between one man and one woman who are married. The Bible places very high value on sexual purity.

Real love is love and fornication is fornication. When my husband and I met, which was at Church, the first month we became friends first spending every moment we could together getting to know each other and also sharing the word of God with each other. It was not a sexual thing, but a Christ centered relationship from the beginning. A month later we moved in together as we just could not stand to be apart as I live and hour from him and could only see him late at night when I got of work. Three months later from our meeting each other we were married, not because we had to or any law said we had to have a piece of paper, but for the fact of taking his last name for legal purposes. There is no place in the Bible that God constitutes having to have a marriage license as it was man that incorporated this into the law.

 

[for_his_glory]

This question is to anyone. Does the Bible address living together before marriage? I don't think it does, but I'm not positive on this one.

No it doesn't. It was man who incorporated into the law you need a marriage license. Were Adam and Eve legally married according to any law, no. Were any of their children, no. It wasn't until the 613 Levitical laws were written down that man continued to add to them.

 

[th1b.taylor]

There is no place in the Bible that constitutes having to have a marriage license. Man incorporated this into the law. In the Hebrew tradition a mohar or dowry was paid to the father of the bride by the groom in exchange for the daughter, Exodus 22:16, 17. Genesis 2:23-25 explains the bond of marriage. The two are united as one in the eyes of God. Ephesians 5:22-29 wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the spiritual head of the wife. Man is the provider and protector of his family. Husbands, you are to love your wives like Christ loves his church. This is an unconditional love that looks on the inside of a person and not the adorning of the outside. It is a love with a pure heart.

I always teach this and on line or in person I upset folks to no end when I teach Biblical Marriage but I would, if you please, add it to your teaching on the subject. If you object I will get it deleted from this string.

When Abraham sent his Chief Servant back to pick up a wife for Isaac from his own people and then when she arrived, she covered her face, in modesty, and when she was installed and comfortable in his passed away mother's tent, he went into her and scripture doesn't detail this but just as with Adam and Eve, they copulated and they were married from the moment they couple with one another.

The same is true with Jacob/Israel when his father-in-law duped him into marrying the older daughter instead of the desire of his heart. Her pop got Jacob to drinking and when he was drunk enough, pop sent him into the marriage bed to be married. Then Jacob had to work seven more years to earn the younger one to his bed.

Many of you have your knives on the wet stone right about now to come for me because you are remembering those nights at the Drive-In Theater in the Back Seat and a few years later, the nights you made your way to the clubs every Friday and Saturday Night to sweep some great looking female off her feet so you could take her to a very early breakfast and of course you needed to see her safely home and to go in first to make sure there was no Mugger or Rapist there and she was so grateful she let you hold her as she slept. And what I just taught says you married how many women? And then made it worse by divorcing them, without even a Letter of Divorcement! And on yop of that you made those Virgin Ladies to be in sin with the man that finally took her to wed, though she was still Spiritually married to you.

The Word of God is filled with dos and don'ts but even more so it is filled with principles for living a Christ Honoring Life. If anyone is still speaking to me, I pray God's blessings will be poured out on you and yours and always remember, that squirrel with the mike in his face knows!

 

[reba]

I'm not here to argue with you everytime you come online
good night

then stop says reba the admin..
Do not reply to this post in this thread,,,

 

[for_his_glory]

I always teach this and on line or in person I upset folks to no end when I teach Biblical Marriage but I would, if you please, add it to your teaching on the subject. If you object I will get it deleted from this string.

When Abraham sent his Chief Servant back to pick up a wife for Isaac from his own people and then when she arrived, she covered her face, in modesty, and when she was installed and comfortable in his passed away mother's tent, he went into her and scripture doesn't detail this but just as with Adam and Eve, they copulated and they were married from the moment they couple with one another.

The same is true with Jacob/Israel when his father-in-law duped him into marrying the older daughter instead of the desire of his heart. Her pop got Jacob to drinking and when he was drunk enough, pop sent him into the marriage bed to be married. Then Jacob had to work seven more years to earn the younger one to his bed.

Many of you have your knives on the wet stone right about now to come for me because you are remembering those nights at the Drive-In Theater in the Back Seat and a few years later, the nights you made your way to the clubs every Friday and Saturday Night to sweep some great looking female off her feet so you could take her to a very early breakfast and of course you needed to see her safely home and to go in first to make sure there was no Mugger or Rapist there and she was so grateful she let you hold her as she slept. And what I just taught says you married how many women? And then made it worse by divorcing them, without even a Letter of Divorcement! And on yop of that you made those Virgin Ladies to be in sin with the man that finally took her to wed, though she was still Spiritually married to you.

The Word of God is filled with dos and don'ts but even more so it is filled with principles for living a Christ Honoring Life. If anyone is still speaking to me, I pray God's blessings will be poured out on you and yours and always remember, that squirrel with the mike in his face knows!

Don't you dare delete any of this as it needs to be said, even though we are straying from the OP. Some can't handle the truth!!!!..............oh well, so sad as it is scriptural in what you and I have posted. You forgot to also mention the woman at the well that reminds me of myself back in the day as she had many husbands, John 4:16-18. There is a big difference between true love and lust of the heart, but neither one needs a license.

 

[Free]

Real love is love and fornication is fornication.

Fornication occurs regardless of whether or not love is present.

When my husband and I met, which was at Church, the first month we became friends first spending every moment we could together getting to know each other and also sharing the word of God with each other. It was not a sexual thing, but a Christ centered relationship from the beginning. A month later we moved in together as we just could not stand to be apart as I live and hour from him and could only see him late at night when I got of work. Three months later from our meeting each other we were married, not because we had to or any law said we had to have a piece of paper, but for the fact of taking his last name for legal purposes. There is no place in the Bible that God constitutes having to have a marriage license as it was man that incorporated this into the law.

And yet you do not address any of the passages of Scripture I gave. Let me tell you my story.

When my wife and I met, through a mutual acquaintance at church, we became friends and started dating within a few weeks. A week after we started dating, we discussed where we both thought it was heading, which was marriage. So, yes, we could not stand being apart either and spent all the time we could together. But we did not move in together nor sleep together prior to marriage because that is what the Bible calls fornication.

Being in love is irrelevant as to whether or not fornication is a sin. And, yes, having that piece of paper is just a legal thing and irrelevant as far as the Bible is concerned, but that is not a biblical argument. Marriage is a vow, a covenant before God, and most importantly, a metaphor for Christ and the Church. As Deuteronomy shows, to sleep with a woman outside of marriage was to violate her.

A Christ centred relationship puts God and the Bible first, not one's desires. Anything else is a self-centred relationship. It is worldly thinking to believe that as long as a relationship is based on "love" and doesn't hurt anyone, it's okay.

 

[iLOVE]

Young persons today are worried and afraid to get married because they see all the divorce around them and feel their marriage will also not last.

This was not true in the past. Women and men were happier to be married.

Some couples live together to make sure that they're compatible.
It's been found that there is a higher percentage rate of divorce among these couples once they get married.

Why do you believe that is?
Why are couples not getting married as eagerly today?
What makes a good marriage that will last till the end?

Most married couples (90%) are living under the "Law of sin and death." God's prescribed order of victory for husband and wife over sin, the world, the flesh, and the Devil is "The Law of the Spirit (Holy Spirit) of Life In Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:2). When this Law is violated, Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; you are fallen from grace (Gal. 5:4) (Gal. 2:21). This is called Spiritual Adultery.

 

[for_his_glory]

Fornication occurs regardless of whether or not love is present.


And yet you do not address any of the passages of Scripture I gave. Let me tell you my story.

When my wife and I met, through a mutual acquaintance at church, we became friends and started dating within a few weeks. A week after we started dating, we discussed where we both thought it was heading, which was marriage. So, yes, we could not stand being apart either and spent all the time we could together. But we did not move in together nor sleep together prior to marriage because that is what the Bible calls fornication.

Being in love is irrelevant as to whether or not fornication is a sin. And, yes, having that piece of paper is just a legal thing and irrelevant as far as the Bible is concerned, but that is not a biblical argument. Marriage is a vow, a covenant before God, and most importantly, a metaphor for Christ and the Church. As Deuteronomy shows, to sleep with a woman outside of marriage was to violate her.

A Christ centred relationship puts God and the Bible first, not one's desires. Anything else is a self-centred relationship. It is worldly thinking to believe that as long as a relationship is based on "love" and doesn't hurt anyone, it's okay.

As far as I'm concerned we both knew very early that God put us together forever and Christ was the center of our friendship first and foremost as we became one body that is of Christ and 20 years later still remains the center. I see fornication as sexual immortality as one goes from partner to partner without any commitment.

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. 14 And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. 15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.