What to do

[rangamatchstic]

Was going to post this in the teens section but, cant access it yet =/. Any way iev been going out with my girlfriend for 6 months now and about the 5 date she asked me what religion i was before telling me hers, and by doing this i didnt hold back on my agnostic belief which was abit full on (mix of science, christian and own thought) which must of scared her abit thinking i would of rejected her if i knew she was a religious christian. Anyway about 4 months later were starting to progress in the relationship emotinaly and abit physically, but i always got the feeling were she was holding back from what she actually wanted to do and at this point i thought she wasnt really religious at all. It then got to the point were she didnt want to do what we had already been doing and as soon as i this happened i stopped and later asked what was wrong, which is when she told me she was very religious christian and the whole no sex till marriage part of it which she thought i would make me want to brake up with her, but i didnt go out with her to have sex so it was just really good she told me as it made alot of sense with alot of other little things that i had noticed but couldnt make sense of at the time.

My question is what do you think is ok for someone who beleives in your faith to do in this way? so i cant help her from not doing anything she will regret.

 

[Tina]

I'll be honest ... Knowing that you're not a Christian, she shouldn't have gotten involved with you from the start. Now she's probably regretting it after getting physical with you. Perhaps she may even be thinking of breaking up. Are you willing to convert and embrace Christianity for her sake ?

 

[rangamatchstic]

She not quite that religous, she accepts me for who i am as i do for her and she is extremely happy i accept her, as her first thought is that i would break up with her because of not having sex when she told me, but i didnt go out with her for that, i love her for who she is. Unfortunately I could never be a Christian, although being brought up with Christian values (due to my mum being a Christian although not very religous) and still believing in God, and being baptised and communed (sorry if the terminology is off, its been a while) im Agnostic as science plays so much with what i do in my life and what i do for a probable profession (being an engineer), i just couldn't go with some of the beliefs. Also i dont want to change her, im actually happy she Christian, it means she has alot of good values setup and will never fall to the level of some of the girls I know =/. Also we do share one value on the topic of sex, i think it should be about love aswell, not just some throw around thing that everyone does as much as they can as its a very deep connection between two people, So we are on the same page but just with a few differences. Besides if you have to change, or change someone else to be with them thats not a good relationship.

 

[God's_gift]

My question is what do you think is ok for someone who beleives in your faith to do in this way? so i cant help her from not doing anything she will regret.

i'm sorry but i have to be forward , NO it is not ok apparently she is compromising...

 

[Mike]

Rang, I have to be honest, too. If she were the one posting here, I'd tell her she should do what she needs to do to sever her ties with you. Christians are called to put their love for the Lord above all things. You may well feel that you don't interfere with her faith, but you almost certainly do.

You might be a great guy, you might be very successful, you might treat her better than anyone ever has, but if you cannot share her faith and thereby encourage it, you stand to be a stumbling block for her. Obviously, I cannot convince you to see it from her perspective and do what's right for her. I can encourage you to if you want what's best for her, but you likely see the reasons you two shouldn't be together as foolishness.

I won't even go into what this means when marriage and children enter the picture, because that's probably not even remotely in the plans. I appreciate your honesty, and I pray that one day you are brought to faith.

 

[rangamatchstic]

i completely encourage her to move forward in her faith i will never hold her back from her faith nor will i get in the way of it, she doesn't have to compromise at all as im fine with whatever she wants to do and will even say no if I know she is doing something she isnt comfortable with because it conflicts with her faith. What difference would it be if i was christian? it would still go exactly as it is now after she had told me.

Also the main reason i bring this up is as much of very long shot and i know the odds are very very minute (probably less than 0.1%) we met at exactly the same ages as her parents did, and have somehow followed a almost uncanny amount of events her parents did at the exact same times as well. SO on the (as pointed out before, very VERY LOW) odd chance we did end up getting engaged what are the implications?

On another point that you have been bringing up about me converting, as much as i would do that to be with her i mentaly couldnt. Actualy just to give me abit more info on the topic, what are the main differences between Anglican and Christianity besides no sex before marriage (i agree with but wont force on people) and creationism (the main thing i couldnt mentaly agree on, but i dont beleive in evolution like most people so dont label me as beleiving in it).

 

[Mike]

See my post here: www.christianforums.net/showthread.php?t=42208&p=639377#post639377

But please respond here out of respect to the OP of that thread who is a Christian that came to a Christian site to ask for advice from Christians.

Thank you.

 

[Pizzaguy]

i completely encourage her to move forward in her faith i will never hold her back from her faith nor will i get in the way of it, she doesn't have to compromise at all as im fine with whatever she wants to do

I know you are sincere and I can tell that you are nuts/crazy for her, even might love her!

But at age 52, I have seen it all. If you are really going to continue to live outside of the church and belief, the two of you will never really be close in the sense you are both looking for. There will always be a wedge between you. This spells heartache for her later, heartache for any children that come along... and probably heartache or at least the discomfort of divorce and/or compromise for YOU later in life.

Forget theology, (since you don't adhere to it, anyway.) Look at this from the real-world practical aspects. Aspects that, at your age, you probably can't understand, I understand. If you could only see the troubles ahead for both of you, you'd simply walk away.

But NONE of us can see that, not at your age. I can only wish, hope and pray that you come to faith and the two of you have that in common. Otherwise, I fear for the future for you.

 

[rangamatchstic]

I know you may think i havent thought about these kinds of problems that could occur further down the line but i have an do almost every second my mind isnt somewere else and have thought of some ways around the majority of these problems. Also she isnt quite as religous as i think i may of made it sound in my first post and example of this, and an example i know your not going to like but its the only one that comes to mind currently is that we were just laying around at my place once and i cant remember how it got to the topic but it ended up with her asking me about my thoughts on evolutioned!. I was amazed as well and at first i said no as i thought it would make it awkwed but she encouraged me until i told her and she actualy enjoyed it. There have been other things she has done and does do that also show this so i dont think some of the things you have been saying would have as much bearing on her as you mite think.

 

[CalledToServe]

Was going to post this in the teens section but, cant access it yet =/. Any way iev been going out with my girlfriend for 6 months now and about the 5 date she asked me what religion i was before telling me hers, and by doing this i didnt hold back on my agnostic belief which was abit full on (mix of science, christian and own thought) which must of scared her abit thinking i would of rejected her if i knew she was a religious christian. Anyway about 4 months later were starting to progress in the relationship emotinaly and abit physically, but i always got the feeling were she was holding back from what she actually wanted to do and at this point i thought she wasnt really religious at all. It then got to the point were she didnt want to do what we had already been doing and as soon as i this happened i stopped and later asked what was wrong, which is when she told me she was very religious christian and the whole no sex till marriage part of it which she thought i would make me want to brake up with her, but i didnt go out with her to have sex so it was just really good she told me as it made alot of sense with alot of other little things that i had noticed but couldnt make sense of at the time.

My question is what do you think is ok for someone who beleives in your faith to do in this way? so i cant help her from not doing anything she will regret.

Hello rangamatchstic,

I'm going to try a different tact then the other replies in this thread. I have several questions for you and I do hope you answer them honestly. I will be as honest as I can in my replies to you.

Why does science and being Christian have to be completely antithetical in your mind? What do you think being a Christian is all about?

I'm taking a different tact because I can see from your posts in this thread that you have serious feelings for her. I also understand that the Lord has certain events that happen in our lives to make us change the way we live our life and to be a better testimony to the wonderful love, mercy, and grace that the Lord gives to those who believe in Him.

I will give you a bit of my testimony about the awesome love and compassion the Lord has for me. When I was 28, I had attempted suicide by overdosing and by the time I got to the hospital the doctors were all telling my mother and my friend that I would die that night. As I drifted in and out of sleep, I lolled my head to the left where the chairs were next to the bed and saw Jesus sitting there holding my hand. He leaned forward with tears streaming down His face and sadness in His eyes over what I had done to myself.

He whispered, "I love you and I have called you to be My minister of My Word. You will not die by your hands tonight nor will you ever die by them. I have called you to do greater things in My Name."

The very next day, I walked out of the hospital to the amazement of my family and the staff of the hospital. By all standards of medical science I should have died from the sheer amount of drugs I had ingested. Yet, I walked out by the grace and love of God.

 

[rangamatchstic]

Hello rangamatchstic,



Why does science and being Christian have to be completely antithetical in your mind? What do you think being a Christian is all about?

I'm taking a different tact because I can see from your posts in this thread that you have serious feelings for her. I also understand that the Lord has certain events that happen in our lives to make us change the way we live our life and to be a better testimony to the wonderful love, mercy, and grace that the Lord gives to those who believe in Him.



.

1. Well i know that the majority of science is ok with Christianity but its the whole evoltution is wrong stuff that doesnt work for me, and again I DONT BELEIVE IN EVOLUTION AS MOST DO but i do beleive in a version of evolution and could never change that. That is the only bit that I actualy have a problem with. This is due to probably years of spending time on the internet on very very disturbing and messed up image boards were 99% are strong Atheists and bring up alot of Christian extremist videos which i guess made me subconsciously stereotype Christians.

2. Being a Christian........................my knowledge of religion doesnt go very far i basicly just label it as a similar but slightly more strict version of Anglican but in between the Catholics.

 

[CalledToServe]

1. Well i know that the majority of science is ok with Christianity but its the whole evoltution is wrong stuff that doesnt work for me, and again I DONT BELEIVE IN EVOLUTION AS MOST DO but i do beleive in a version of evolution and could never change that. That is the only bit that I actualy have a problem with. This is due to probably years of spending time on the internet on very very disturbing and messed up image boards were 99% are strong Atheists and bring up alot of Christian extremist videos which i guess made me subconsciously stereotype Christians.

2. Being a Christian........................my knowledge of religion doesnt go very far i basicly just label it as a similar but slightly more strict version of Anglican but in between the Catholics.

I'm a Christian and I believe in micro-evolution ie adaptation since it can be scientifically proven. Macro-evolution is an unsupported theory.

I see why you think the way you do about Christianity with this reply. Being a Christian isn't about which denomination you belong to. It is about being in a relationship with the Lord and serving Him willingly. It's more personal since every Christian's walk with God is different since we all live life differently.

 

[rangamatchstic]

So basicly the morals are follow the morals/rules? (the ones you follow depend on how religous you are) and generaly treat everyone equily?

 

[CalledToServe]

So basicly the morals are follow the morals/rules? (the ones you follow depend on how religous you are) and generaly treat everyone equily?

Those things come along after you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior. God has a plan for everyone that is tailored specifically for them and based upon who they are. To be a Christian is more than just following a bunch of rules and regulations for salvation. Christian literally means to be Christ-like and let the light of the Lord shine through you.

I'd like to spend a moment to talk to you about religion. Religion is nothing more than man's attempt at creating an organizational structure that sometimes hides who God really is. This organizational structure usually means that you have to believe exactly the same things that they believe and it takes away from your relationship with God. Not all denominations do things the same way or with the same purpose. However, God will lead you to the right body of believers so you can worship Him with others.

The first step begins with you accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Once you do this, you know a kind of peace and joy that you have never experienced before. You will feel the presence of God in your heart and be filled with in the empty spots that are there. No man or substance or object can do what God can. We are created with the express purpose to willingly serve God and worship Him. Nothing on this earth can do what God created us for.

If you would like to see the power of Christ at work in your life then look at the simple fact that I am talking to you right now. If it wasn't for God then I would not be here holding this conversation with you. Over in the Testimony sub-forum of General Discussion I have posted up my full testimony so you can see the power of God in one man's life and how He changed that life.

God wants you to become the man that He wants you to. I want you to be the Godly man that God wants you to be. Your girlfriend wants you to be the Godly man that God wants you to be.

 

[rangamatchstic]

Firstly i do believe in God and Christ although im still a little sketchy with some of the facts on him as i have alot of Jewish friends at school and iev heard some of their take on him so all the information unfortunately does get thrown into the same pot =/ and i haven't really spent the time to actually think about it and make my own theory based on it, but atleast im on the same page.

Also i see what you mean by "If it wasn't for God then I would not be here holding this conversation with you. ". Im assuming your getting this from creationism, and it does work with me aswell due to me believing in a creationism mixed with evolution agnostic view (i wont go any further in unless someone asks for it because i dont feel like starting a thread argument) which does still does believe god made everything just not quite in the same way as creationism.

Also on the "God in your heart and be filled with in the empty spots that are there", i dont have any empty spots due to me already accepting God and Christ along time ago, the only empty spot i had 6 months ago was due to my Ex girlfriend (strangely enough im starting to think she was Christian aswell :o), which was filled by my current girlfriend, but id did not start going out with my current girlfriend to fill this emptyness, i went out with her out of love.

 

[CalledToServe]

Firstly i do believe in God and Christ although im still a little sketchy with some of the facts on him as i have alot of Jewish friends at school and iev heard some of their take on him so all the information unfortunately does get thrown into the same pot =/ and i haven't really spent the time to actually think about it and make my own theory based on it, but atleast im on the same page.

Also i see what you mean by "If it wasn't for God then I would not be here holding this conversation with you. ". Im assuming your getting this from creationism, and it does work with me aswell due to me believing in a creationism mixed with evolution agnostic view (i wont go any further in unless someone asks for it because i dont feel like starting a thread argument) which does still does believe god made everything just not quite in the same way as creationism.

Also on the "God in your heart and be filled with in the empty spots that are there", i dont have any empty spots due to me already accepting God and Christ along time ago, the only empty spot i had 6 months ago was due to my Ex girlfriend (strangely enough im starting to think she was Christian aswell :o), which was filled by my current girlfriend, but id did not start going out with my current girlfriend to fill this emptyness, i went out with her out of love.

I wasn't talking about creationism when I said if it wasn't for Him I wouldn't be here. This is the part you've missed from my first post in this thread.


I will give you a bit of my testimony about the awesome love and compassion the Lord has for me. When I was 28, I had attempted suicide by overdosing and by the time I got to the hospital the doctors were all telling my mother and my friend that I would die that night. As I drifted in and out of sleep, I lolled my head to the left where the chairs were next to the bed and saw Jesus sitting there holding my hand. He leaned forward with tears streaming down His face and sadness in His eyes over what I had done to myself.

 

[rangamatchstic]

whoops =s my bad, forgot about that story you posted.

 

[CalledToServe]

Believing and accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior through repentance is completely different things. Have you repented and been baptized? I think you could surprise your girlfriend by asking her if you can go to church with her. Keep in mind that if do go to church that you sit away from her in a different section. You are wanting to go to church for you. ;)

 

[rangamatchstic]

I have been baptized and communed (not shore if thats the term for communed), but as much as going to church with her would probably be a good idea in alot of ways (although i could easily sit with her an prove im showing genuine interest), it has some massive drawbacks for me. Firstly it would be very odd, especially to her parents that i had suddenly decided to go to church with them and may even be taken as a almost invasion into their family life. Secondly i live 2 hours from my school and travel 4 hours or more to school and back each day so the weekend is really my one time i can do anything and that has almost been completely taken away with being in my final year doing some very demanding subjects, so there is a massive time issue as she lives the same distant (and her church is around there) away from me as my school. Thirdly.......i think it would be pretty strange for me to randomly rock up to this church being obviously neverous and not having much of an idea what to do, also the questions i would get from alot of the people there would be very odd too me.

 

[CalledToServe]

I have been baptized and communed (not shore if thats the term for communed), but as much as going to church with her would probably be a good idea in alot of ways (although i could easily sit with her an prove im showing genuine interest), it has some massive drawbacks for me. Firstly it would be very odd, especially to her parents that i had suddenly decided to go to church with them and may even be taken as a almost invasion into their family life. Secondly i live 2 hours from my school and travel 4 hours or more to school and back each day so the weekend is really my one time i can do anything and that has almost been completely taken away with being in my final year doing some very demanding subjects, so there is a massive time issue as she lives the same distant (and her church is around there) away from me as my school. Thirdly.......i think it would be pretty strange for me to randomly rock up to this church being obviously neverous and not having much of an idea what to do, also the questions i would get from alot of the people there would be very odd too me.

Do not worry what other people think. You are going there for your own well being and redemption. I am not sure what you mean by communing, but it doesn't sound like repentance to me.

Repentance is where you tell the Lord that you are sorry for the sins you have committed, remembered and unremembered, and that you will try to do a better job in living like He did during His ministry. Have someone at the church pray with you and talk to them about how to be saved.