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when did my husband become a child?!

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ReginaForbes

ReginaForbes

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I have a personal rule against hen-pecking my husband. He's a grown man so I treat him like one. So I fully expect him to act like a rational adult but sometimes I wonder what has gotten into him?! Big man is the type of guy that has always been independent and self-reliant which is what I love about him but lately he's been acting like he doesn't know how to think.
An example is what he did this morning- the big guy was trying to open a package. He asked me if we had any scissors and I said they were in the office. All he had to do was take a few steps and grab them. But instead he tried to use a knife to open the package and hurt himself. He blamed me for not helping him. I patched him up and he's okay but why did he act like that? What is happening to him? And does it happen to every married man? I don't want to have to treat my husband like a dummy!
 
ReginaForbes said:
I have a personal rule against hen-pecking my husband. He's a grown man so I treat him like one. So I fully expect him to act like a rational adult but sometimes I wonder what has gotten into him?! Big man is the type of guy that has always been independent and self-reliant which is what I love about him but lately he's been acting like he doesn't know how to think.
An example is what he did this morning- the big guy was trying to open a package. He asked me if we had any scissors and I said they were in the office. All he had to do was take a few steps and grab them. But instead he tried to use a knife to open the package and hurt himself. He blamed me for not helping him. I patched him up and he's okay but why did he act like that? What is happening to him? And does it happen to every married man? I don't want to have to treat my husband like a dummy!
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When he was asking you where the scissors were, he was asking you to get them for him.
He wanted you to share in his task.
 
ReginaForbes said:
I have a personal rule against hen-pecking my husband. He's a grown man so I treat him like one. So I fully expect him to act like a rational adult but sometimes I wonder what has gotten into him?! Big man is the type of guy that has always been independent and self-reliant which is what I love about him but lately he's been acting like he doesn't know how to think.
An example is what he did this morning- the big guy was trying to open a package. He asked me if we had any scissors and I said they were in the office. All he had to do was take a few steps and grab them. But instead he tried to use a knife to open the package and hurt himself. He blamed me for not helping him. I patched him up and he's okay but why did he act like that? What is happening to him? And does it happen to every married man? I don't want to have to treat my husband like a dummy!
Click to expand...

Good grief! Guys are like this. I also ask my wife where things are and she keeps me organized, but yeah, I don't expect her to get things for me. But she may still help me out because we men are sometimes stupid on things like this for some reason. In my case, she oftentimes offers to help since I'll get it wrong anyways.

But in return, I love doing the housework (she's adamant on doing the laundry, however) and the house maintenance up to what I can handle without a pro such as electrical repair work or minor plumbing. Weekly vacuuming, bathroom cleaning and straightening up is a must that I like to do. More guys should be like that. And at 10:10 in the morning, Madge, the neighboring housewife along with others have to come over for their morning coffee and chat. :lol (on another forum I make up regular characters that get themselves into situations, and they know well of my "Madge"-- the entertainer in me I guess) I also do the outdoor weed whacking and weeding, and local mowing at times whereas she's the one doing the flower planting and vegetable gardening except for jobs requiring strength. Then she'll mow the hill (probably 80% of the mowing is done by my wife). She also does all the driving wherever we go. Except for our anatomy and some guy dumbness I have, I think we effectively switched roles. :lol
 
I think its all men to an some degree my husband is ADHD 41 kid and addited to PC video games and his phone and role playing and plays with other adults .. I begging God for a woman my age to talk about God ,kids go shopping excerzie with..lol
 
There aren't many of us who are reasonable, responsible, and totally rational.
 
Or, please don't throw rocks, ...maybe he is showing you, in his way (we men are brute beasts and they say it's difficult for men to express their emotions), he wants you to return to (sometimes) the little girl you were when he married you?

Blessings
 
I think your question should be answered by now, Silvia (not Madeleine?). (I think we are all born that way.)
 
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This is the manifestations of the deaf and dumb spirit that is present. The main target of this spirit is toward the mind, dulling the mental and emotional realm in order to curb spiritual movement and growth.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 NKJV
 
Karl said:
Or, please don't throw rocks, ...maybe he is showing you, in his way (we men are brute beasts and they say it's difficult for men to express their emotions), he wants you to return to (sometimes) the little girl you were when he married you?

Blessings
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I wish that were true but when we met I was also very independent as I had just come out of an abusive marriage. So I was seeking someone who was NOT needy. Stan fit the bill- independent, strong-willed, but calm during crisis. However, as our lives grow together and intertwine, he's lost some of that independence. I miss him being able to just "do his own thing" then seek me when he WANTS me. What's nice is that he always wants me but he also NEEDS more then he used to. And the two are most definitely not the same!
 
ReginaForbes said:
I wish that were true but when we met I was also very independent as I had just come out of an abusive marriage. So I was seeking someone who was NOT needy. Stan fit the bill- independent, strong-willed, but calm during crisis. However, as our lives grow together and intertwine, he's lost some of that independence. I miss him being able to just "do his own thing" then seek me when he WANTS me. What's nice is that he always wants me but he also NEEDS more then he used to. And the two are most definitely not the same!
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It's kind of a "Catch 22". The exposing yourself and your human vulnerability, that women are always saying they want, also brings with it the realization that we also have a needing side, too. I fear some of this is wanting to have our cake, and being able to eat it, too.

Sadly, this goes a long way toward showing why it is so difficult to form relationships by "just being ourselves." Our true selves is very often NOT what the other person REALLY wants.
 
Thanks for all the advice everyone- keep it coming! I'm feeling a realization forming in my brain, that this is all part of growing together as a couple. After having a disasterous first marriage to someone who was needy, emotionally unbalanced and abusive, I went for someone who was a polar opposite. I will say that Stan has been my ROCK and his steadiness has helped ME come out of my shell as I know I can rely on him, but now his needing me isn't a growing character flaw but maybe him showing me that he's able to expose his vulnerable side. I should probably take his need for me as a compliment, like how when a cat exposes their belly to you, saying "here's where you could hurt me, but I trust you!". What does everyone think?
 
I imagine you also had to read "Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am"? in school. (John Powell, as I recall) If not, grab a copy. It's a small, cheap paperback you can still get on Amazon.... or maybe it comes as an ebook. Not a deep book, but interesting. Fun, like The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris (I think) was.
 
Thanks willie! I've never heard of those books. Although I have heard of Desmond Morris- I remember watching "Desmond Morris': The Human Animal" on the Discovery Channel when I was in high school.
 
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