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Why Do Christians Divorce?

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It's been proclaimed from pulpits and blogs for years — Christians divorce as much as everyone else in America.

What are your thoughts and opinions why there is a high rate of Christian divorces?

What are the top reasons for Christian divorce?
 
Infidelity or money ....money or infidelity would be my guess

In the name of being loving (tolerant etc .. those type of words) we stopped expecting folks to honor God and our vows to Him... The vow i took 48+ years ago was to God first then to John....I do not believe the churches teach the Godly value of marriage.... The (ideal) picture marriage, Christ and His bride the church runs through the scriptures from Genesis to The Revelation.

I am not so cold hearted as to not see there are times when divorce is the better choice... While at the same time i believe we make it seem too easy...

Something always dies in divorce... One cant not rip their flesh apart with out hurts... What goes along with this topic is the churches acceptance of sex out side of marriage..
 
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It depends on other factors. Apparently the divorce rate is quite high for nominal Christians, but for those who are regular attendees of church, it is lower, so this would seem to demonstrate that the years of pulpit messages has some effect.

But for why people divorce, I think that the reasons probably don't lie too far off of why everyone else divorces, namely money troubles, infidelity, spousal addictions, unresolved conflicts with the extended family, abuse, etc.
 
The more we surround ourselves with worldly things, the more the world will invade our thoughts.
Prayer is the christians secret weapon. We must trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. We will be blessed in our marriage.
We must be considerate of our spouse views (listen). Be aware (of other needs). Be helpful to our spouse.
The transformation of the heart through God the Holy Spirit helps us to accomplish a successful marriage.
 
There are lots of potential reasons.

1. Too low a bar of what we call a 'Christian.'

In a lot of churches, the preacher doesn't explain what sin is, that Jesus died on the cross, that he rose from the dead. Whether he does or does not, he then asks people to raise their hand to 'give your life to Christ' or to 'ask Jesus into your heart.' So you have some people going through a ritual of repeating a prayer without having repented, or in some cases, without having the Gospel explained to them. Then, the preacher may declare them Christians and they leave thinking they are born-again Christians, rarely go to church, and are in the pool of potential people to fill out marriage surveys.

2. A lack of teaching on marriage and divorce.

If you talk about that in church, you'll step on people's toes. They might go to the other church down the street or not give money. It's also uncomfortable to talk about the subject since so many divorced and remarried people come to church. So some preachers don't pay much attention to it.

3. Not believing the scriptures.

Since other preachers don't talk about it, maybe it isn't that important, the preacher reasons. He thinks, maybe those verses don't mean what they say. Maybe they really mean what all these divorced and remarried people say they mean.

4. Not practicing church discipline and restoration of individuals.

If a couple want to get a divorce, sometimes the church doesn't approach them to help them. Some couples find there is no support from older couples to teach them how to get through difficult times until they start talking about divorce and the church gets involved. Sometimes a divorced person-- who should be reconciling his or her old relationship-- wants to remarry and no one in the church checks up on him/her to help keep him/her from the sin.

A little leaven leavens the whole lump.

Not dealing with fornication and adultery in the church can lead to more of it spreading. I've read that there is research that shows that brides not being virgins at marriage greatly increases their chances of divorce. Adultery, clearly, can hurt marriages and can put a marriage at much greater risk for divorce.

5. Tolerance of leaders divorcing and remarrying wrongly.

Sometimes leaders in an overseership role will get divorced and not even take time away from ministry. An overseer is to rule his own house well. Some leaders will divorce and remarry adulterously and remain in ministry.

6. Acceptance of Feminism and Other Worldly Philosophies Lead to Weak Men and Rebellious Women.

Many men accept the prevailing philosophy of Feminism that has crept into church teaching and don't act as men should in their own home. Many of them were born a generation or two too late to be surrounded by male role models who knew how to lead their own homes well.

Many women also accept the idea of Feminism, which can lead to a rebellious, disrespectful attitude toward their husbands. Feminism and other worldly philosophies tell women they can leave their husbands if they are not happy, or if they can find some small fault with their husbands. The lack of obedience to the command to respect/reverence the husband can lead to discontentedness and divorce. Men who accept the prevailing philosophies may also leave for what they consider to be greener pastures.

Men who accept Feminist philosophy, whether they realize they accept it or not, who buy into the myth that women just want a sensitive guy and that the way to make women happy is to do the things for them that they say they want may find themselves acting like boys, treating their wives like their mothers. An overly 'sensitive' whiny, obedient husband who doesn't stand up for what's right, who makes her make all the decisions is unattractive, even repulsive to some women.

7. Ignoring the commands for husbands and wives in scripture.

I suspect much if not most marital problems come from not obeying passages like Ephesians 5. If wives would submit to their husbands and respect them, there would be a lot less arguing in marriage. If you reverence someone, you don't yell at that person or call him names. If husbands would love their wives as Christ loved the church, they wouldn't be abusive toward their wives or take them for granted. If men honored their wives as the weaker vessel, it would show up in the way they talk to them, and the way they take responsibility around the home instead of leaving things up to the wife.

---Good news.

I've read that couples who regularly pray together have divorce rates far under 1%! If someone knows the source for that, please post it. I've heard it from a lot of places.
 
The more we surround ourselves with worldly things, the more the world will invade our thoughts.
Prayer is the christians secret weapon. We must trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. We will be blessed in our marriage.
We must be considerate of our spouse views (listen). Be aware (of other needs). Be helpful to our spouse.
The transformation of the heart through God the Holy Spirit helps us to accomplish a successful marriage.

Our spouses are not the enemy—Satan is. Ephesians 6:12 says, "We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." One of his greatest weapons is to trick you into blaming someone else, usually your spouse, for problems. When you start to bicker and quarrel, remember that your true enemy is the one who seeks to destroy your marriage.
 
It's been proclaimed from pulpits and blogs for years — Christians divorce as much as everyone else in America.

What are your thoughts and opinions why there is a high rate of Christian divorces?

What are the top reasons for Christian divorce?

I tend to think that the use of the word Christian creates a "presupposition" when we use it to preference a statement. As if to say that Christians fall into a special category when it comes to matters of morality, ethics, or righteousness of mankind. This, I think, is the biggest problem many Christians face within themselves, as well as how others in the world view Christians, when they think that this label of Christianity sets them apart as righteous when in fact they are not actually so. That is the point of the righteousness of Christ, not ourselves.

So in this sense, we are not sinners because we sin, but we sin because we are sinners, and understanding that; knowing we are sinners first, is in fact a requirement, not only to come to Christ, but to live a christian life to being with.

That said, people (Christian or not) get divorced because of selfishness. People (Christian or not), are self-serving and whenever you have two people with separate agendas designed to serve themselves, you have conflict that often leads to divorce.

I think this is the #1 reason that marriage is a model for the Christian life. Forgiveness, serving others, this is the keystone of Love, or Christianity and certainly marriage. When we are more interested in the welfare of others above ourselves, we are serving others selflessly, and the only way we can truly do that is by surrendering ourselves to Christ and allowing him to work through us. Just wearing the label of "Christian" does not do that.
 
Selfishness is guaranteed to hurt marriages. It's a deadly poison that the devil use to hurt the marriage bed!
 
Jesus said Moses granted divorse due to hardness of heart. Lack of repentance is followed by hardness of heart. Pride is a source. And
we cant leave out unforgiveness.
 
It's been proclaimed from pulpits and blogs for years — Christians divorce as much as everyone else in America.

What are your thoughts and opinions why there is a high rate of Christian divorces?

What are the top reasons for Christian divorce?

Sin
 
I don't believe the divorce rate in the Church is as high as it is outside the Church. I just believe the poll takers don't have a clue who the Church is.
 
I think the leading cause of divorce, both for christians and otherwise, is selfishness. Though I tend to think personally a great deal of that has to do with a lack of training beforehand, or premarital counseling, if you prefer.

My point is simple: humans by nature are selfish. When we are married (and in other relationships, as well), it's easy to get caught up in the feelings of "I deserve X because of Z. Or he/she should do Y for me because I'm their husband/wife." It's simply in our nature. This is sad, but it's true. Selfishness is the root of all sin. What we as christians (and anyone in a marriage or a relationship) have to understand, is that in order for a marriage to succeed, first and foremost we have to let go of that selfish nature. By that, I mean this: If I spend all my time making sure all of my wife's needs are met, and she will spend her time making sure my needs are met (keep in mind I'm talking needs, not wants), then no one has any reason to feel anger or frustration or resentment, because both our needs are being met.

This is something you have to train yourself to do, because it goes against our very nature. Frankly, it's easier to take the low road, so to speak, and only worry about your own wants and needs. Furthermore, let's not forget that when we accept Christ as Lord and Savior, we voluntarily place a rather large bullseye directly over our hearts, and the enemy loves nothing more than to pummel them into submission and draw them away from the Lord. If we're not careful, he will play his game, and he will succeed.
 
I don't believe the divorce rate in the Church is as high as it is outside the Church. I just believe the poll takers don't have a clue who the Church is.

..or else superficial adherence to evangelicalism isn't in itself a well-founded commitment to Biblical Christianity, stated differently.

Of course, an innocent person can't be held responsible for the bad behavior of a spouse.
 
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