[ Testimony ] Why I think the way I do

[Grazer]

or "my conversations with God"

So, given that I have some apparently odd (and blasphemous) ways of thinking I figured it was time to try and provide some kind of explanation why I think the way I do. I have left some bits out but you don't need to know them to see the path I've been on.

Ok, had my first encounter with Christ when I was 14 at a Boys Brigade camp and it was awesome. Gave me confidence and self esteem to deal with seemingly endless barrage of bullying and parents arguing. Read my bible, went to church, helped out at church reading and being an altar boy....all was well. By the time I turned 19, I came face to face with my anger and everything was turned upside down. Parents were still arguing and trying to keep the marriage together. Despite having a good relationship with the vicar I found his answers to be less than helpful. Didn't find anything helpful in the Bible, got nothing from God and was constantly told to just have faith. My granddad, grandma and my Nan died within 2 years of each other, so did my pet dog and then my parents got divorced. Anger is a polite way of describing how I felt.

Got to 23/24 and this was still the situation. I'd read the Bible cover to cover and had even more questions, God still wasn't listening and the next person who told me to take the Bible at face value was going to find it inserted into a hard to reach area. Since I had no idea what reality was and God seemingly didn't care, I declared myself an atheist, decided that the Bible was the work of 2 drunk men in a bar and got on with my life.

Moved to Oxford in 2008, met a Christian at my new work, got invited to the alpha dinner then the course then met more Christians who wanted to tell me to have faith and to take the bible at face value. Cue me dismantling the argument and being satisfied with my nights work. Repeat for 3 weeks. Then my mate started coming back with historical facts! Huh? There was actual historical evidence to support the bible or at least the New Testament? Why was I never told about this?? That was my cue to be stumped for once. Did my own research and whilst not everything stood up to scrutiny, enough did for my brain to go "hmmm, maybe there's enough here to merit a further look"

Then God started talking to me then the Devil weighed in; the past came back and I lost reality again. This wasn't a coincidence so I concluded the Devil existed therefore God must do too. Which one was stronger and who could I trust? Neither my brain screamed. After much heart to heart with my friends I eventually gave my life back to Christ in their living room (didn't make it to work the following day as I was exhausted) Went back to reading the Bible but couldn't get out of my cynical mode of finding all the errors. Then one evening on the toilet, God spoke to me saying "treat it as a letter from me" (I always seem to have my most profound revelations on the toilet, I'm convinced this is where some of the greatest breakthroughs in history were made) This got me over this hurdle but then struggled with the whole face value issue. The bible starts with a talking snake and ends with a 4 headed monster (I'd seen every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it had them too) Several books and chats later I find out that the Bible contains poetry and prophecy and metaphors and allegory. How the heck do I know which is what? God answered that one whilst I was in the shower - ASK ME!!!! So I did....and it suddenly dawned on me why I was struggling so much a decade ago; I was asking the church, I was asking the Bible but I wasn't asking God.

Wait, what? But the Bible is the word of the God so isn't it the same thing? What does it mean for the Bible to be inspired anyway? More research and discussion needed....ooh that looks interesting...wait, what's this about wiping out an entire civilization? And what's this about Genesis being similar to other cultures stories? God wiped them out as they were the worst sinners according to the church. God, what do you say? Luke 13:1-7 - AAARGHHH!!! (that bits me not God) Now evolution is coming into view, it's too much, my faith is crumbling..... Another message from God whilst cooking dinner; "put Canaan to one side and focus on Genesis". Went out, read books and discovered the culture of Genesis. Not everyone in history took Genesis literally yet got on fine, it doesn't affect our salvation. Crisis averted; God, we'll go with that for now, that works for me. Thanks God

Back to Canaan. The church and many others tell me this but Jesus says the opposite? Once again whilst in the shower; "who are you following; me or other people?" "But Lord they're Christians like me". "They don't know you, I do and they're on their own journey with me" That makes sense but it sort means God is giving people different answers but then since he's infinite and God, he can and it all makes sense to him.

That's pretty much it up to present day. Still working through stuff, still having problems giving personal issues to God. But my thinking led me to God, he's led me through things, taught me a lot and we've barely scratched the surface. So there you go, me in 1 post with some bits ommitted. Hope that helps make sense of why I am the way I am. If it doesn't or you still think I'm blasphemous......can't say I haven't tried.

Peace!!!

 

[farouk]

It's good first and foremost to listen to God in His Word, right?

The central theme of the Word of God is the One who is the living and eternal Word Himself, the Lord Jesus Christ, and His redeeming love to sinners.

 

[P31Woman]

Katrine hit the Miss. gulf coast. We have people flee from that area to part all over the united states and even into other countries.

Did the fact many of those people told their story around the world make it a more or less likely event?

Because we serve a loving God who is faithful and trustworthy I know we can trust His Word to give us the accurate account of the events that were recorded.


You may also want to ask the person who told you the reason God had the people killed was because they were the "worse sinners."

Ask them to show you in scripture where it says that.

That is not what my church teaches or anyone else I know.

We teach what the scriptures say.

The answer in scripture does not conflict with the teaching of Jesus. In fact they fit together like a hand in a glove.

 

[P31Woman]

Genesis 15:16

<sup class="versenum">13 </sup>Then the Lord said to Abram,<sup class="crossreference" value='(J)'></sup> “Know this for certain: Your offspring will be foreigners<sup class="crossreference" value='(K)'></sup> in a land that does not belong to them; they will be enslaved and oppressed<sup class="footnote" value='[d]'></sup> 400 years.<sup class="crossreference" value='(L)'></sup> <sup class="versenum">14 </sup>However, I will judge the nation they serve,<sup class="crossreference" value='(M)'></sup> and afterward they will go out with many possessions.<sup class="crossreference" value='(N)'></sup> <sup class="versenum">15 </sup>But you will go to your fathers in peace and be buried at a ripe old age.<sup class="crossreference" value='(O)'></sup> <sup class="versenum">16 </sup>In the fourth generation they will return here, for the iniquity of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure.”

<sup class="footnote" value='[e]'></sup><sup class="crossreference" value='(P)'>Deuteronomy 7


Israel to Destroy Idolatrous Nations

7 “When the Lord your God brings you into the land<sup class="crossreference" value='(A)'></sup> you are entering to possess,<sup class="crossreference" value='(B)'></sup> and He drives out many nations before you—the Hittites, Girga++++es, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations more numerous and powerful than you— <sup class="versenum">2 </sup>and when the Lord your God delivers them over to you and you defeat them, you must completely destroy them. Make no treaty with them and show them no mercy. <sup class="versenum">3 </sup>Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons,<sup class="crossreference" value='(C)'></sup> <sup class="versenum">4 </sup>because they will turn your sons away from Me to worship other gods. Then the Lord’s anger will burn against you, and He will swiftly destroy you. <sup class="versenum">5 </sup>Instead, this is what you are to do to them: tear down their altars, smash their sacred pillars, cut down their Asherah poles,<sup class="crossreference" value='(D)'></sup> and burn up their carved images. <sup class="versenum">6 </sup>For you are a holy people<sup class="crossreference" value='(E)'></sup> belonging to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be His own possession<sup class="crossreference" value='(F)'></sup> out of all the peoples on the face of the earth.


Deuteronomy 20

<sup class="versenum">17 </sup>You must completely destroy them—the Hittite, Amorite, Canaanite, Perizzite, Hivite, and Jebusite—as the Lord your God has commanded you, <sup class="versenum">18 </sup>so that they won’t teach you to do all the detestable things they do for their gods, and you sin against the Lord your God.


HCSB<sup class="crossreference" value='(C)'></sup>

</sup>

 

[Grazer]

It's good first and foremost to listen to God in His Word, right?

The central theme of the Word of God is the One who is the living and eternal Word Himself, the Lord Jesus Christ, and His redeeming love to sinners.

It is, it's been a fantastic (but admittedly sometimes difficult) journey but God has been very patient in leading me even when I've gone "ooh I want to go down this path because I can see shiny things" God has used many things to teach me, he knows me inside out and whilst I have so much more to do regarding my relationship with him, I am truly thankful for the work he's done with me

 

[Paul1965]

Hi Grazer, the way we think and our relationship with God is a personal thing for each and every one of us. No two people are the same or think the same. We a members of Christ through faith and learning God's word. I have found as I bet many here have, that a lot of His word is open to interpretation and won't be fully revealed to us until our time to meet Him comes. It's only then that ALL will be known to us.
You only need to look at how many different denominations there are in Christianity to know there is a lot of disagreement on doctrine / meaning of the Bible.
Kudos to you for trying to seek clarification of His word.
As long as you are not trying to distort His Holy word to suit evil intents, questioning and trying to understand must be pleasing to our Lord.

When you are condemned by some "Learned" Bible scholars for your faith, I suggest they read Romans 14 as quoted below. If they treat you with contempt because of your understanding, they are attempting to judge you and cause you to stumble. Proving that maybe they AREN'T so learned after all
Romans 14

New International Version (NIV)

The Weak and the Strong

14 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.<sup class="versenum">2 </sup>One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. <sup class="versenum">3 </sup>The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. <sup class="versenum">4 </sup>Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
<sup class="versenum">5 </sup>One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.<sup class="versenum">6 </sup>Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. <sup class="versenum">7 </sup>For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. <sup class="versenum">8 </sup>If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. <sup class="versenum">9 </sup>For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.
<sup class="versenum">10 </sup>You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister<sup class="footnote" value="[a]">[a]</sup>? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. <sup class="versenum">11 </sup>It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’”<sup class="footnote" value="[b]">[b]</sup>

<sup class="versenum">12 </sup>So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
<sup class="versenum">13 </sup>Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.<sup class="versenum">14 </sup>I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean.<sup class="versenum">15 </sup>If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. <sup class="versenum">16 </sup>Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.<sup class="versenum">17 </sup>For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, <sup class="versenum">18 </sup>because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Blessings in Christ to all

 

[Grazer]

Thanks Paul, I needed to read that

 

[Mike S]

Hi Grazer, the way we think and our relationship with God is a personal thing for each and every one of us. No two people are the same or think the same. We a members of Christ through faith and learning God's word. I have found as I bet many here have, that a lot of His word is open to interpretation and won't be fully revealed to us until our time to meet Him comes. It's only then that ALL will be known to us.
You only need to look at how many different denominations there are in Christianity to know there is a lot of disagreement on doctrine / meaning of the Bible.
Kudos to you for trying to seek clarification of His word.
As long as you are not trying to distort His Holy word to suit evil intents, questioning and trying to understand must be pleasing to our Lord.

When you are condemned by some "Learned" Bible scholars for your faith, I suggest they read Romans 14 as quoted below. If they treat you with contempt because of your understanding, they are attempting to judge you and cause you to stumble. Proving that maybe they AREN'T so learned after all
Romans 14

New International Version (NIV)

The Weak and the Strong

14 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.<sup class="versenum">2 </sup>One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. <sup class="versenum">3 </sup>The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. <sup class="versenum">4 </sup>Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
<sup class="versenum">5 </sup>One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.<sup class="versenum">6 </sup>Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. <sup class="versenum">7 </sup>For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. <sup class="versenum">8 </sup>If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. <sup class="versenum">9 </sup>For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.
<sup class="versenum">10 </sup>You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister<sup class="footnote" value="[a]">[a]</sup>? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. <sup class="versenum">11 </sup>It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’”<sup class="footnote" value="[b]">[b]</sup>

<sup class="versenum">12 </sup>So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
<sup class="versenum">13 </sup>Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.<sup class="versenum">14 </sup>I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean.<sup class="versenum">15 </sup>If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. <sup class="versenum">16 </sup>Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.<sup class="versenum">17 </sup>For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, <sup class="versenum">18 </sup>because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Blessings in Christ to all

Excellent post. Very well stated.