This may not be of much comfort to you, but I know exactly how you feel.
I'm a 26 year old female, and I have yet to have found anyone that I would even consider having a serious relationship with since I was engaged almost 7 years ago. For the last couple years, I've been trying to find a guy because I want to get married. I'm feeling like my biological clock is ticking and if I want to have children, I need to find a good Christian man soon. However, I would rather never have children than settle for someone who is not God's choice for me. If I end up finding a guy in my 40's, then so be it, or if I never find anyone, so be it.
I pray to God to please help me find a good man who will treat me like an equal and help me grow in the Lord. It's hard for us women as well. I read the bible a lot to try to communicate with God. I know he has a plan for me, but at this moment I don't know what it is.
I haven't done much looking because I am hoping that when it happens, it happens on God's time, not my own time. I want to be an infinity percent sure that who I marry is the one that God has chosen for me.
It may seem hard, but here is are some of my rules when looking for a mate and I think it should be something that all Christians practice when they are looking for a mate.
Here it is: you need to go where there are other Christians. Then you need to go to a singles bible study. Then you don't look at the girls there as potential mates, but as just friends. If you want to be successful in finding someone, you need to be friends with the person first, and get to know them. Most of the worlds divorce rates are because of a few things. People marry too young, they don't get to know each other, or they marry the person who they think is their dream mate and when you start living together after marriage you start to not like the person you thought you married.
I don't condone pre-marital living together, but when I was engaged to the one who I thought could be my future spouse, I had him come stay with me at my parents house and we slept in separate rooms. We did this several times, and I started to see what it was going to be like living with him. It's not the same as being alone with the person, but at least you can get an idea and you're not breaking any of Gods laws because you're in separate rooms and you have your parents there to "chaperoned" so to speak. Some parents might not be willing to do that because they might think it is too close to resembling living together, but if you're not having sex, and you're not sleeping in the same room, I don't see the harm.
After my ex had come to stay with us, after a few visits, I started to not like how he really was. He started treating me poorly when my parents weren't around, and I realized that we also didn't get along in a simulated living situation.
I would only try having someone come stay with you at your parents house if you are more than just friends. If you get to know someone and you like them, take her out on dates. Then you can try the weekend visits and see if you get along the same as you did when you were just meeting up for coffee, or hanging out.
There are a lot of people in general and not just girls, but guys too who are wolves wearing sheep's clothing. That is why I recommend getting to know someone the best you can and have conversations with them about the bible. If they can't name scripture off the top of their head, but know what you're talking about that should be good enough. I have a very bad memory and I can't remember scriptures very well. I can talk about the bible and what it says and to back up my opinions I usually find the verses I'm talking about and prove to the other person that I know the bible.
I've been frustrated before, and recently almost succumbed to going out with a guy who isn't even a Christian to see if I like him. I decided not to though because I made two vows to God, and one of them is that I wouldn't go out with men who are of the world.
I hope some of this helps! Don't rely on college to find a girl, and if you go to church and the college girls there don't meet your standards, try going to another church until you find someone who meets your criteria.
Sorry for the insanely long message!
ed!
-Riniel
