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widows and widowers?

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Well, I'm not suffering from losing a spouse (I'd need to have one to lose). Anyway, I'm sorry to hear of you loss. I probably couldn't handle losing a spouse (I can't even handle losing a gilfriend).

:sad
 
BEI,

Thank you for your reply. Perhaps, I posted this in the wrong forum. I was just assuming that singles could equal widows, like myself, and this would be the place they would see it.

Singleness is difficult, I understand. I wasn't married until I was 26, and that was only for eight years, until I (we ) lost him suddenly.

Just trying to see if there are other singles here, who are also widows. They can sometimes be overlooked. I know I overlooked them until it happened to me.

Peace and blessings.
 
.

Hi lovely,

I lost my fiance suddenly, back in November of 1998. He was only 50 years old. I was 46. I am now going on 53. Then in March of 2002 my sister lost her husband suddenly, him being at the age of 54. She is now 54. Those were very tough times for us.


There is a huge difference between my sister and myself.
My fiance and I were together for only 10 months. It took me 2 years of grieving before I started to associate with people again. I didn't see anyone or go anywhere for 2 years. I literally isolated myself. The only thing I did was go to the grocery store and to the doctors. My children were all grown up and not living with me. They both live out of town and I didn't see them either, except for the holidays, which were not very good for me. I didn't know how to come out of that grieving process. I didn't have the support I needed and I didn't seek the proper help like I should have.

My sister, on the other hand, she was married to her husband for 24 years. She went through a very short grieving process and within 6 months she was dating. She shocked the whole bunch of us. She was advised by her grief counselor to move on and to start getting involved with others. Well, She didn't waste any time. She dated for 6 months. found a man and dated him for a year. They are now married! I still don't know how to accept him. It was all too fast for me. And now he has taken her away from us here in Ohio and She is moving to another State to be with his family and friends there. They are a much more happy go lucky type people. So she is gone on with her life and is very happy.

I haven't found anyone because I didn't allow myself to get involved with anyone. I'm still working on it. The thing is, I'm so much slower than my sister when it comes to recovery and moving on in life.

I still think about my fiance. Even though I have been dating someone for 4 years. I haven't allowed myself to find the right person to settle down with, so I just dated this one person instead of moving on and dating more than one until the good Lord brings the right person into my life.

My point being, I hindered my progress. My sister didn't.

It hursts so much to lose a loved one. And it is difficult to let go of all that we still want to be. It is fine to hold onto memories. They are to be cherished. But I realized something else. We have no choice but to move on. We have only to look to God to provide for us. And if we don't allow Him to do that. then we hinder our progress. Don't stop God from carrying you through the grieving process. I made the mistake of crying out to God during my grieving process, but I didn't let Him carry me onward! See the difference?

I see you have a child. She is lovely, like her mother. I hope you and are both getting recovery counseling. If you are not already involved, get involved with a grief group. A church, or the hospital, or a counselor may be able to help you find one. Please don't let this pain hinder your future. Your husband is in heaven now. Memories sweet. Keep showing the spirit of courage and fortitude. He would want you to be strong in your walk with bringing up your daughter. Be brave and strong for the sake of Christ Jesus. and the memory of your husband.

Cry and grieve. It is a process that leads to the newness.
All tears are seeds that are planted to sprout a new joy.
Your Healing is happening. Let God's timing heal you.
I know it seems so long in the making. But is IS happening.
Don't hinder it. Live life and let the spirit of your husband be an example for you to move on.

If I was there with you, I would give you a hug just as a mother hugs her child when the child is hurting. Joy will come back. In the meantime, let God heal you for as long as it takes. But don't stop in your tracks. Talk about it as much as you need to and cry as much as you need to. Find a good counselor and most of all, Walk with Jesus one day at a time, one moment at a time.

Hugs to you lovely. I'll be praying for you.

Love your daughter and let her see life sprout anew, for her and for you. You both will come through this.
Trust the love of the Lord.
 
Dear Relic,

Thank you so much for your encouraging post. (((Relic))) I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is hard living with death. It's been 15 months for me and my little ones, but some days it still feels like it only just happened. Blessings to you, and thank you so much again for sharing.

Blessings and peace to you.
 
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