My wife and I have been together for almost 7 years. We met on the streets in the middle of our drug addiction. When we became pregnant, a Christian family took us in, allowing us to get clean. We later had a daughter. This motivated me to want to provide for my family, giving them what I never had. I worked, went to school, and did very well considering my background. She did great as well, becoming a very good mother. However, some Satanists worked their way into my wife's heart. While I was off working, they were using demonic influence to get close to her and our kids. Despite my warnings about people getting close to her, because of the beauty of our kids, she began sneaking off and using drugs with these people. We eventually found out that these men were part of a child trafficking ring. At any rate, she betrayed me and left with the kids, placing them in all sorts of danger. Because I was exposing these people, contracts (Dont ask me who funds these) were made available to have my career, our housing, and my schooling dismantled with the ultimate goal of having me committed as crazy. I was never committed, but an order was made restraining me from seeing her. She took off with the car, sold my $1700 computer which had my life's work (Short stories, college notes, thousands of family photos) and left me roaming the streets homeless for months. Eventually it was found out that she was using drugs while having custody of the kids. They were taken and adopted out. One night we came back together. I was reluctant to join myself with her because of her infidelity, but eventually did. She continued cheating on me, denying it, though I had very heart breaking recordings of her with other men. Even after crying and providing the proof, she denied it, saying it was all in my head. She had and continues to have no remorse for her actions. Recently she came clean that she is now selling her body to support her drug habit and to keep us off the streets. Now she has become even colder. Our intimacy is shot because she only likes to make love when others are in ear shot. She is quite loud about it, making sure our guests hear. This makes it difficult for me to trust her motives while making love. I have heard her talking to another Satanic man, bragging about the pain and hurt she is causing me. She also tells this man that she can't wait to get away from me so she can be with him. Besides this she has also engaged in homosexual activity and when questioned about it, gives me this hateful, scoffing smile. When I cry, she calls me a whiner. When I confront her she snaps, telling me she dont want to hear it. She has made me out to be an animal to all her friends, slandering my motives. I have remained faithful to her, though I myself had twice made out with someone for money because we needed to get into a room. I asked her first, and she agreed. Though I really didn't want to do it, I did it for us. I have repented from my sins and have never joined myself with another woman. She, however, joins herself to John's, and has been with other men for the shear pleasure of it. She has totally disengaged herself from me. Hardly will she allow me to cuddle like we used to. She is submissive to these Satanists and appears to join herself to demons, but will hardly do anything for me. She is still with me, but I am made to feel unwanted, worthless, and inferior to those she frequents with. Whenever I do do something honorable, she will give credit to the Satanists for all my hard work. As crazy as it sounds, it's as if she is on the pay role to discredit me and to keep me down, so that my testimony against these child trafficking molesters is made out to be meaningless. I understand that these people are very manipulative and use drugs, black magic, and sex as a form of coercion. I also know that they blackmail and extort her as well. For a time I used this to justify her actions, making it easier to forgive her. But now the pain, the apathy, the outright hatred and the thought of other men having her do terrible things to me has become to much to bare. The thought of other men doing to her what I thought was sacred between us hurts so deeply that I am often depressed and dejected, unable to do anything else other than pace the streets in tears. She is still with me, however, though her motives for being with me seem to be a conspiracy. She claims she still loves me, but has lied to me about a lot of things. She has even led me to believe that her and this Satanist lover of hers somehow have our kids hidden away, breaking my heart as a father. I was also led to believe that this man was abusive to our kids and arrested for it; whereas she had then provided the bail money to get him out. She has also led me to believe that she is no longer in love with me but is in love with this other man. When I would later question her about this, she would deny that she even hinted at such a thing. If these insinuations where a ruse, then its it's even worse than I thought, because not only is she hurting me, but she is lying to do so. I believe it is a form of gaslighting, meant to make me draw an unfounded conclusion in order to further discredit my case against these child trafficking molesters. This bothers me because, as a the mother of our children, her first aim should be the protection of our children from abuse, and, if any abuse has occurred, that justice would be served preventing the reoccurring of these actions against the children of our society. Can someone say millstone. For whatever reason she seems to get a kick out of fooling me, as if by deception and black magic, she has somehow outdone me. I have often found myself wanting to leave, but always find myself opening the Bible to Hosea, the prophet who was made to mary a prostitute. I fear for her eternal soul and remember how wonderful things used to be, when we were best friends. I keep on picturing her as the sweet angel who overcame so much abuse as a child and who used to have the most contagious smile, despite the most trying of circumstances. Seeing her now, unhappy, devoid of feelings, and so spiritually dead breaks my heart. These people are only using her and care not for her, but she has somehow convinced herself that they do care and that in the end, those who worship the father of lies, will eventually provide some great reward for her. She has forsaken Christ to follow after his enemy, making it worse than if she had never given herself to Christ. She has become a Judas. I don't want that for her, and stay around, pray, and try to guide her back. She has taken this love as a weakness and despises me because of it. I sometimes think that leaving again might be necessary to prove to her that codependency is not my motive and that my love should not be taken for granted. I have done this before, but her pride has made her forget. Besides my dedication to God, she takes a big chunk of my life and time, in thought and prayer. I keep coming to the verse in Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, What should I do? What would you do? Please pray for us.