S
Shelly
Guest
In 2012, I graduated with a master’s degree. I had worked for a while when I was in school in a minimum wage housekeeping job. I hoped to find something better after graduating.
Well, it is now 2017 and I have not found anything better. I now work in a miserable food service job. I have huge student loan debt too. In the years from 2012 to 2017, I have applied to many different jobs. I generally did not aim super high. Many of the jobs I applied to were office jobs, like the one I had right before I went to grad school. However, I applied to various other jobs too. I have gone to job preparation classes, have gotten help getting interview outfits, practicing interviewing skills, etc. Everyone has had a different idea about what format I should use for my resume, and I have at one point tried to follow all of their suggestions. I even moved to a different city about two years ago that I’d heard is supposed to have a better economy and more jobs. I have prayed about the situation almost daily. But none of that has worked.
Sometimes in the past, before I ever did that grad degree, I got a job because someone I knew put in good words for me, basically “pulled strings” for me. I began to wonder if that could happen again. I even prayed for God to bring someone in my life who has the means and the desire to do that. I was also hoping for help with housing, since it is hard to make ends meet on a food service job. Truthfully, I was hoping someone from church would offer me a neat deal, such as letting me rent a spare room or basement in their home for a reduced rate.
About a year ago, I met “Kim” (not her real name) at a church I was visiting. She offered to help me with getting a job and seemed confident that it would work out. I started going to her church regularly, I admit, in large part because I thought it was an answer to prayer. I thought it was God’s way of finally getting me help. Kim has young grandkids who live in another city, so she is at a very different point in life than I am. (I have not even had a first boyfriend yet. No, I’m not that young, but I’m very inexperienced for my age.) Most of the people in Kim’s church are much older people.
Since I started going to Kim’s church, she has on three occasions met up with me so we could talk and so she could hand me a few job ads. Coincidentally, the first time around, the job ads were almost all for jobs I had already applied to. The next couple of times, she gave me job ads for food service jobs other low-paying jobs. We have been e-mailing each other regularly, and I have tried to explain to her time and time again that I’m looking for a better job, that I have huge student loan debt, etc. It often seemed she did not understand. She gave me some other suggestions, some of which was for things I had already tried. The other things she suggested I tried, but they also did not work.
At some point, she did ask around the church to see if anyone would hire me (since there are some business owners in the church), or if anyone knew someone who is hiring, but no one was. She also asked around about a room someone might be renting, but nothing was available. On two occasions, she gave me a small gift.
I appreciate her efforts. It was nice that she wanted to help. But I have begun to feel that, since a year has passed and it has gone nowhere, maybe we have exhausted most possibilities. It has also been frustrating, because in most of our interactions, I feel as if I’m trying to explain my situation to her, and it seems she did not really understand. “Maybe you could apply at the school district for a janitorial position,” she recommended not too long ago. That would keep me at the poverty level, and with a graduate education, I just don’t feel up to that.
I have felt a bit obligated to continue going to her church, but no friendships have developed there. I always sit there alone. There are two different service times, and I do not always go to the same service as Kim. However, she has at times “checked up” on me to make sure I’m going to her church. (The times I didn’t go, I visited another church.)
It has begun to feel a bit burdensome, also, to have to keep her updated on details of my life. I’m not totally comfortable doing that. It feels as if I’m not getting any help from her and her church, but as if it just obligates me.
I wonder how I could tactfully back off without upsetting Kim, and without burning bridges. Does anyone have any ideas, any suggestions? Does it even seem appropriate for me at this point to try to back off?
Well, it is now 2017 and I have not found anything better. I now work in a miserable food service job. I have huge student loan debt too. In the years from 2012 to 2017, I have applied to many different jobs. I generally did not aim super high. Many of the jobs I applied to were office jobs, like the one I had right before I went to grad school. However, I applied to various other jobs too. I have gone to job preparation classes, have gotten help getting interview outfits, practicing interviewing skills, etc. Everyone has had a different idea about what format I should use for my resume, and I have at one point tried to follow all of their suggestions. I even moved to a different city about two years ago that I’d heard is supposed to have a better economy and more jobs. I have prayed about the situation almost daily. But none of that has worked.
Sometimes in the past, before I ever did that grad degree, I got a job because someone I knew put in good words for me, basically “pulled strings” for me. I began to wonder if that could happen again. I even prayed for God to bring someone in my life who has the means and the desire to do that. I was also hoping for help with housing, since it is hard to make ends meet on a food service job. Truthfully, I was hoping someone from church would offer me a neat deal, such as letting me rent a spare room or basement in their home for a reduced rate.
About a year ago, I met “Kim” (not her real name) at a church I was visiting. She offered to help me with getting a job and seemed confident that it would work out. I started going to her church regularly, I admit, in large part because I thought it was an answer to prayer. I thought it was God’s way of finally getting me help. Kim has young grandkids who live in another city, so she is at a very different point in life than I am. (I have not even had a first boyfriend yet. No, I’m not that young, but I’m very inexperienced for my age.) Most of the people in Kim’s church are much older people.
Since I started going to Kim’s church, she has on three occasions met up with me so we could talk and so she could hand me a few job ads. Coincidentally, the first time around, the job ads were almost all for jobs I had already applied to. The next couple of times, she gave me job ads for food service jobs other low-paying jobs. We have been e-mailing each other regularly, and I have tried to explain to her time and time again that I’m looking for a better job, that I have huge student loan debt, etc. It often seemed she did not understand. She gave me some other suggestions, some of which was for things I had already tried. The other things she suggested I tried, but they also did not work.
At some point, she did ask around the church to see if anyone would hire me (since there are some business owners in the church), or if anyone knew someone who is hiring, but no one was. She also asked around about a room someone might be renting, but nothing was available. On two occasions, she gave me a small gift.
I appreciate her efforts. It was nice that she wanted to help. But I have begun to feel that, since a year has passed and it has gone nowhere, maybe we have exhausted most possibilities. It has also been frustrating, because in most of our interactions, I feel as if I’m trying to explain my situation to her, and it seems she did not really understand. “Maybe you could apply at the school district for a janitorial position,” she recommended not too long ago. That would keep me at the poverty level, and with a graduate education, I just don’t feel up to that.
I have felt a bit obligated to continue going to her church, but no friendships have developed there. I always sit there alone. There are two different service times, and I do not always go to the same service as Kim. However, she has at times “checked up” on me to make sure I’m going to her church. (The times I didn’t go, I visited another church.)
It has begun to feel a bit burdensome, also, to have to keep her updated on details of my life. I’m not totally comfortable doing that. It feels as if I’m not getting any help from her and her church, but as if it just obligates me.
I wonder how I could tactfully back off without upsetting Kim, and without burning bridges. Does anyone have any ideas, any suggestions? Does it even seem appropriate for me at this point to try to back off?
.
