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[__ Praise __] "working class loser"

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yeah, me again.

the 70s radicals sometimes said "the personal is political." not everything, I guess, but...a lot of what we think of as our -personal- stuff is actually rooted in bigger social and economic forces, it just plays out in each person's life a bit differently.

I was born into a straight out of grad school, working class intellectual family. Looking back...a lot of what I went thru was a) what "working class losers" go thru, every.single.day and b) what people who "don't know their place" go thru, every.single.day.

So now? Well, God is good! I'm 33. Most parents would -not- be helping me, much less supporting me, but mine are, by the grace of God. They're also now more "comfortable," or...something. I don't know. I mean, I'm thankful; The Lord has blessed their dedication to each other, me, their careers, with a lot more status and resources than when I was a kid, its just...I was out of commission for a good 10+/- years, so its kind of like waking up, and everything's different...including me.

Now, I may never have a j-o-b. Happens. I did mess up at 17. I also reached out for what the world calls "help"--the mental health people--and I just got labeled, drugged up, eventually electroshocked and operated on. True story.

So...I see now...especially where I live, "working class losers"--especially those who "don't know their place"--often end up in prison. Its just...the way the works, I guess. Me?

I've been spared, by God Himself. I may always be considered a "mental patient"--certainly around here--but I have more freedom, in Christ, than I ever did before.

I've got a higher IQ now, I"m healthy, a new way of being, my parents and I have reconciled, and...I don't fit in around here. Truth be told, I never did. I wasn't considered "good enough" for Honors or to graduate HS early or...anything, really. And when I messed up, whoa...I was destroyed, big time. But...

God spared me, now I've been saved 5 years, and...I have Jesus, my family, I'm now remarkably healthy. I will probably never become a member of this community, ever. "He shouldn't have gone to college" and "loser" and "welfare bum," etc., have given way to "oh, right. now he has Schizophrenia. people have money."

"in the world but not of it." "wise as serpents, innocent as doves." This may be my zipcode, but this isn't my real home...never was, it seems.

OK. I guess this is largely rambling, part Praise Report (!!!). "working class losers," sadly, end up destroyed before we/ they even know what hit us. The Lord has seen to spare me, save me, forgive me, and transform me. God is good!
 
I was listening to an interview with Santanna the other day, and he nailed it. Success isn't measured by how much wealth you have, what job you have, what social club you belong to or what clothes you wear. Success is measured by how happy you are.

You, my brother have much to be thankful for. You have loving parents and they have supported you through the years, even the bad years. They may not be perfect, and they may have made some mistakes, but they did their best, and I'm sure you were a challenge for them. That's love, and it's more than many children experience. In all honesty, yes, you have been through some stuff that many will never experience, but God is growing wisdom in you and has given you a very powerful testimony. You seem happy, and I can tell.

As a parent myself, I understand your parent's joy that their son is finally settling down. I'm sure they are proud of you, and they should be.
 
yeah, me again.

the 70s radicals sometimes said "the personal is political." not everything, I guess, but...a lot of what we think of as our -personal- stuff is actually rooted in bigger social and economic forces, it just plays out in each person's life a bit differently.

I was born into a straight out of grad school, working class intellectual family. Looking back...a lot of what I went thru was a) what "working class losers" go thru, every.single.day and b) what people who "don't know their place" go thru, every.single.day.

So now? Well, God is good! I'm 33. Most parents would -not- be helping me, much less supporting me, but mine are, by the grace of God. They're also now more "comfortable," or...something. I don't know. I mean, I'm thankful; The Lord has blessed their dedication to each other, me, their careers, with a lot more status and resources than when I was a kid, its just...I was out of commission for a good 10+/- years, so its kind of like waking up, and everything's different...including me.

Now, I may never have a j-o-b. Happens. I did mess up at 17. I also reached out for what the world calls "help"--the mental health people--and I just got labeled, drugged up, eventually electroshocked and operated on. True story.

So...I see now...especially where I live, "working class losers"--especially those who "don't know their place"--often end up in prison. Its just...the way the works, I guess. Me?

I've been spared, by God Himself. I may always be considered a "mental patient"--certainly around here--but I have more freedom, in Christ, than I ever did before.

I've got a higher IQ now, I"m healthy, a new way of being, my parents and I have reconciled, and...I don't fit in around here. Truth be told, I never did. I wasn't considered "good enough" for Honors or to graduate HS early or...anything, really. And when I messed up, whoa...I was destroyed, big time. But...

God spared me, now I've been saved 5 years, and...I have Jesus, my family, I'm now remarkably healthy. I will probably never become a member of this community, ever. "He shouldn't have gone to college" and "loser" and "welfare bum," etc., have given way to "oh, right. now he has Schizophrenia. people have money."

"in the world but not of it." "wise as serpents, innocent as doves." This may be my zipcode, but this isn't my real home...never was, it seems.

OK. I guess this is largely rambling, part Praise Report (!!!). "working class losers," sadly, end up destroyed before we/ they even know what hit us. The Lord has seen to spare me, save me, forgive me, and transform me. God is good!
Regardless of our situation, God is the Sovereign. In all things, we can trust Him. Praise God for the good He has brought into your life. I can relate to some of your story. As you know, I suffer from depression and anxiety and right now I'm unable to sub for my school (I've retired since last June). And unless this depression/anxiety gets under full control, I'll not be able to work. It's a real thing when one's brain decides to go bonkers on us. BUT, God has been faithful and Jesus has been by my side every step of the way. Even in my darkest times, God has used even that for my good! What a great God we serve! And what a magnificent Saviour! I hope you are encouraged in the Lord!
 
me, yet again. I have excellent parents. I hope nothing I wrote came across as me thinking/feeling differently. They're amazing people, they really are...its just...

well, I think especially in America, we don't talk about what's -really- going on around us. We don't talk about stagnant wages, social class, the realities of society and all the problems that sometimes go with it (good stuff, too, of course). I read somewhere...especially since Reagan, there's been this shift towards very individual focus, in society as a whole, definitely in the event one ends up in Mental health, inc. Oh man...especially mental health, lol. Its almost all about pills, for everybody, these days. Not that talking "treatments" are necessarily better, just...whoa. I don't think there's that many people with "brain diseases" (the new It term for mental illness) in America.

I"m not a radical. I take my prescribed drugs (I'm down to -2-, plus the vitamins...). I'm increasingly grateful, increasingly content. You know what's funny? There -is- such a thing as the "School to Prison Pipeline," and I was bound to be one of the "weaklings" on his way to prison, and now?

Being a "mental patient" isn't always fun and games, but I live in safety and comfort with people who love me and take care of me. I'm doing well in my class and I'm...saved and set free. I dunno. Its just...I didn't "get it" until it really should have been too late, lol. The temptation is still there to say "mental illness is a myth!," etc. (it isn't, not the more severe ones), or to go all doom and gloom, but...God is good! I -am- thankful. "In the world, but not of it." All that social class stuff was...me, before The Lord spared me, saved me, set me free. Now, I'm a "mental patient, from a 'good family'," lol, and that's...interesting. Its like being a tolerated, non-entity (socially)...seen, but not really heard. Its cool, though; I Have freedom to pursue my own interests, so I'm cool with it.
 
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