[__ Prayer __] Wrestling

[Sparkey]

I'm wrestling with my conscience and with God over sin. I know the better way is to throw down all sin as soon as it is seen but both sins are addictive in nature and have clung to me all of my lifetime.

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it. All unrighteousness is sin: and there is a sin not unto death.

Addictive Sin(s):
The first that I'll speak to I want to consider a "finished work" but since I have not yet walked for a sufficient length of time I can not feel right in declaring the victory. I have more than 16 years as a recovering and now recovered alcoholic under my belt so I know what I'm talking about when I speak about addictive sin. The sin that I consider a "finished work" is sexual sin, not alcoholism and the same principles apply. I remember all too well that day before I was to go to my 1 year anniversary at my AA meetings and the deception that can come. It was a temptation that at the time was subtle. All I needed to do was sneak one drink and not tell anybody and then go to the AA meeting and get my coin and eat the cake. And this came 1 day before my 1st year of sobriety. I prayed about it and was clearly shown the deception (and the subtly of the attack through my inner thoughts). Today I am confident that I could go to a bar (but why should I?) and sit for any length of time with as many as who would offering to buy me drinks but I would not feel temptation. It really is a "finished work" and I am very thankful to God who has accomplished this in me.

Sexual Sin:
I have read in Job about the covenant that he had with his eye and know that there is destruction to the wicked and a strange punishment to workers of iniquity. God sees my ways and counts my steps. I desire to be weighed in an even balance that God may know my integrity and iniquity, that I may be truly healed in all my ways, in my whole heart and in my whole mind and to set everything that I have upon Him and Him alone. I want to become His instrument and have the breath of the Almighty flow though me as my song to Him is sung. There is no more room in me for tiny arguments about cravings and addictions and flesh and I clearly need to deny myself and follow (chase) after Him.

Wrestling:
And yet... today I do not have sufficient time between me and sexual sin in my past. My eye has lead me toward willful lust in the flesh and that strong desire has yielded sin which resulted in death. I was not able to run to my Father in heaven because sin and guilt would block me. Yet I knew that He was still with me and would never leave me. Today the doors and gates to heaven are open and there is a remembered feeling and assurance within me now where I know there could still be future temptation but it is my feeling (knowledge in Christ?) that I will be able to stand, resist and overcome. I'll freely admit that this might be partly due to a natural process that happens (and for which I am thankful) to men as they get older.

The Connection:
So there is the most shameful sin that has been recently active in me. I am thanking the lord for His deliverance and walking in it. At the same time that I have been struggling throughout my life (my first sexual experience was when I was 15) I have also been addicted to smoking cigarettes. I started that filthy habit when I was 13 and strangely it was tied to sexual sin also. Back then (in the late 50's and early 60's) it was considered cool to smoke and I remember seeing James Bond 007 being a role model. He got girls and he smoked. Simple, right?

Okay today was struggling with my conscience and thought, "Should I be sure the inside of the cup is clean before I clean the outside?" "Should I make certain that my adulterous heart is free from sexual sin (the inside) before I clean the appearance on the outside (smoking)?"

I've never so clearly seen the connection between these two things except this moment, as I write even now, while following my friends advice, "Sometimes it helps to write things down, Sparrow," and I don't mind giving credit where it is due. Thank you Fembot for that. My thanks go out to the others who have and are covering me with their prayers and lifting me to our Father. There are several here on this forum and they know who they are, so does our God who says clearly, "I will repay".

I understood from the Lord that I would be happier if I would have quit when I was 39 years old and had the opportunity. What I heard wasn't more than the still, small voice and I knew which way to go but didn't. So today as I reasoned with myself and debated and after being thankful I went to get "one last bit of the weed tobacco". As I drove out the driveway, I stopped, turned back and parked my car again. I understood that it would be best for me to quit right that second. But then the old argument, "Clean the inside first, not the outside," came into my head.

Being a Respecter of Persons:
I make no pretense about smoking even when I speak to pastors or other church authorities. To me, if God sees me do it what do I care about the thoughts of man? I've been taught to not be a respecter of persons in this and know that God works in all things for the good of those who love Him. But there is no more use of this and it is only a burden to me now. Part of me is afraid because I've never been to a place of holiness in reality. I don't want to shy back but it is FLESH that I'm dealing with and I'm sure everyone here knows what that means. I just realized this moment that I am breaking my own rule about not being a respecter of persons because I live in an apartment and not my own house anymore. I draw my shades to smoke inside and am fearful that somebody might discover me and get me kicked out of my dwelling place.

Asking for Prayer:
So I'm asking those whom I trust and am getting to know and love here and yes, I'm asking strangers to consider the matter and to lift their hearts in prayer for me about it. God is indeed greater than my heart (which condemns me) and I have grace which is sufficient but I have not heard from Him what was said to Paul when he sought God three times about the thorn in his flesh. I have not heard Him say, "My Grace is Sufficient for thee," but only "You will be happier (if you quit)."

I know that my Paraclete argues for me, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."

I am able to pray about this and my prayers do not descend back to my breast but it is a personal struggle and I am glad that I am drawn under strong conviction and ask him to continue to purge me with hyssop if that is what is needed, but also to do what-so-ever I need because I want to be like Him, not only for me but also for every saint I meet and know and love.

Please understand that this is no small matter to me and accept my thanks as you join in this my prayer. I suspect that my judgment (which I prize) is effected and I am reasoning exactly opposite what is good and right for me. Saying that I'll stay in the "small" while I defeat the "large" and saying let's clean the inside (the hidden) before the outside (what's seen by men) may seem wise - but shouldn't I rather sweep it all away at once?

I'm thinking that the only way that I can have this defeated is if I come in both the Will and Name of God and with the prayers of the saints. I take it as a simple matter of faith and believe on the word that when we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to cleanse us and purge us from all unrighteousness. I would also like to ask for prayer that I be given the ability to fully pay for any smoke damage that has been caused by my sin and that other things which do not occur to me at the moment (but God knows) will also be taken care of for me by the Grace that I am unwilling to put toward emptiness. The "other thing that might not occur to me would of course include healing the damage that I have inflicted to my lungs and body which Is His Temple. I zealously want this to be a "house of prayer."

Departing, I shall depart.

~Sparrowhawke

 

[whirlwind]

 

[Adullam]

Amen and Amen brother! God loves you.

<><

John

 

[whirlwind]

Sparrow....how did your day go?

I gave cigarettes up sixteen years ago with the help of the "patch." I used it for one week and that was it. I never picked one up again but my incentive was the birth of my first grandchild.

I hope you made it through the day and are still on target. The first three days are terrible and after that, it's all downhill and you'll be breathing much better on the way.

I'm keeping you in my prayers.

 

[sheshisown]

~Sparrow... accepted in the beloved.:waving

The Struggle

I understand your desires to be delivered of anything that would put you under its bondage. For you as we all, desire to be only under the Weight of His Glory. So we are departing from this realm and daily gathering into the Joy of our Lord. Salvation is a daily thing for our humanness isn’t it? Though it is secure and we are seated in the heavenlies even now in spirit, we live in a tent housing our buoyant hearts and anchoring our minds and souls to earth.

God’s Victory revealed

Then I looked, and behold, a Lamb standing on Mount Zion, and with Him one hundred and forty-four thousand, having His Father’s name written on their foreheads. And I heard a voice from heaven, like the voice of many waters, and like the voice of loud thunder. And I heard the sound of harpists playing their harps. They sang as it were a new song before the throne, before the four living creatures, and the elders; and no one could learn that song except the hundred and forty-four thousand who were redeemed from the earth. Revelation 14:1-3

Here is the witness of the virgins in the tribulation… yes they are Israel in my understanding, yet we are the grafted in branches~ and every syllable of God breathed scripture is ours to be molded and conformed by. ?

These men have great and wonderous things… things your heart seeks….

They have the voice of power. This voice, is like thunder~ the 144,000 have a thunderous voice. We can see the power in the voice of a parent who is living in purity. It is the voice that is heeded well, and affects generations. The voice of the one without purity has no authority. Authority and integrity are linked together inextricably. The human spirit can sense in our voice, see on our face whether or not we are a person of integrity. We can be seen through. :o

See they sing a new song Sparrow~ (chirp chirp) they have a song on their lips… and in their hearts to share. A new song always intends (a song of joy) of great thankfulness~ my son-in-law understands this without verbalizing it, as a worship leader~ he knows it in his heart. . . I learned this from him.
See~ living in purity… brings true joy! ahh... I am listening to yours...:headphones

Our God is a happy~ joyful~ God!

Harps or the lyre of those times were ten stringed instruments. Those who know from John’s day would know, the strings are 10~ as are the 10 commandments. No~ I will not bind you up with the law now, but release you to live in the law of liberty that is life in Christ. However, when even one of the least of these strings break~ the music sounds tinny, it lacks beauty, it’s rhythm and life and fullness is all disjointed. istorted

Why did they follow Jesus into the wilderness, and went without food~ not even thinking of their needs~ in multitudes~ to hear him? See Hebrews 1:9 says; Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

Just as our Lord Jesus demonstrated, our happiness in life is directly proportional to our holiness… This is what you seek these joyful loving holy boundaries in our God further expanded.

Sexual Sin:

Sex is extremely glorious like a fire in a fireplace. Sex is, romance (which exalts the self life), It says I am desired, wanted, special. It is interesting, and can keep us busy wondering (He loves me ? He loves me not?) and it is warming ( how our flesh craves it ). Yet take the fire outside of the safe place, the hearth, and it is destructive! Let the fire burn outside of the safe place meant for it and we will get burned up and burned out! :onfire

Now look, after the terrible searing blaze of early lusts has died~ we may stir up embers gone cold from lack of heat… and find a spark there. And God knows the consequences of this folly is everywhere in our world today, for many their future life and hopes are burning to the ground because they answered their cravings. :verysad

Both smoking and sex are fires, one lit within ~ the other lit without.

But in this rather droll truth, is a mark of the pairing you spoke of. The fire within begins in the nature given us, meant to sate an appetite that is excellently fulfilled within the marital bond, and the devil’s tool (even mentally) out of it.

But what innate urge placed within us does smoking fill? None. No~ it is an appetite suppressant~ ( it can substitute for the sexual urge in some ~ for gluttony in others ~ or for other things) Ah~ but it is also a sexual appetite stimulant ~ (the world depicts this in the cigarette after scenario). Is that only a movie trend? Hmmmmm….. Neither you nor I think so; the worldly led by our enemy know whether it was a lie devised or a scheme planted to link our souls to two sins leading to united bondage at once. Like for many caught souls drinking and smoking are linked together. The darts of the Evil One work wiles. :robinhood

The Lord granted me a complete early deliverance from smoking when I was only 29, but I wanted to be desired (my fatal error) and without God to change my thinking and my ways… I grew plump for the first time ~ snacking replaced smoking ~ so I went speeding back.

I had things attached to my deliverance from smoking too, I saw a clear distinction between my need of sex and cigarettes ( the culture we adhered to in those days). I would not have started smoking I believe~ I am allergic to it; doctor says I probably have always been. My throat would swell inside and I suffered from chronic laryngitis while I smoked. But my first husband smoked so I took it up in defense. However~ I became so addicted in my 30’s that for two years I smoked three packs a day and weighed only 92 pounds! :o

I sought for 5 years to put the habit down… I knew every nuance of my need for this weed… I could tell you when… and how much… and why I wanted a cigarette. So~ I put my knowledge of my bondage to the test… I was able (by power of will) to whittle my habit down to one per day. Yet I was still brought under the bondage of it. I was not free. It overtook me again and again and again.

My first husband had a massive heart attack and died ~ it is difficult to say~ the doctors say the drugs and drink and smoking all took him. But I say it was a broken heart …desperately lonely… unwilling to grasp God …perhaps at the last… I still hope to see him in heaven. My David. 3

Finally ~ I found the church of God, and I prayed and asked God “how to quitâ€Â. He led me to find out what I was afraid of losing…

In Prayer~ over time~ He told me~ I have already delivered your heart my child; your mind is battling with Me now. He said you fear becoming less desirable, but I desire you much more than any man ever will. My desire is greater than yours my love. He said~ bonnie your heart hates this sin against Me~ you no longer desire it in truth. Give up your rights to be desired by any man, and let My love satisfy your need. Cling to Me~ let all your passion be poured out over My presence and My body, and I will keep you. Your spirit is willing~ obey your spirit. You must bring your body into obedience to your spirit. Deny it~ deny yourself as long as is needed to purge from your body its dependence on the drug. Then trust Me to do the rest. :adore

My brother Sparrow~ I was delivered from bondage after 21 days of putting the weed down of my own will in the power of God, and have never even slightly wanted to begin again. Let me encourage you further:

These are the ones who were not defiled with women, for they are virgins. These are the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. These were redeemed from among men, being firstfruits to God and to the Lamb. And in their mouth was found no deceit, for they are without fault before the throne of God.

They follow the Lamb wherever he goes.
The sun is huge, a hollowed sun can fit inside it 1,300,000 planet earths. The Sun is gigantic, warming, illuminating, life giving, but it can be blocked out with my thumb. Gods will is so warm and big and illuminating, but our sin puts our dumb thumb in the way of your vision of Him. Virgins~ can follow the Lamb because of purity, holiness, and they follow Him easily…

They have fruit for God. The first fruits, the best stuff. God says these are first fruits to Me.
Maybe we don’t care about the respect of men, but we care about what God thinks of us. It is a tough daily choice to keep pure, yet God says it is tasty ~ and He is delighted for it is sweet and pleasing fruit to Him.

(Passion and desire and all the stuff around me, and the beast inside welling up and wanting it all. There is no switch on my belly~ to just turn it off . But I do switch off the TV, and I practice guarding my eyes.)
Ps 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before my eyes.

They have sweetness in their mouth. No poison, no bitterness. Morality purity and holiness, are directly linked to our mouth.

But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;Eph 5:3

The first part of this scripture lists sexual sins the second list of sins follow automatically after the first. So we see that foolish jesting means that the one speaking is involved in sexual immorality, to some extent…
neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. Eph 5:4
And in their mouth was found no deceit, for they are without fault before the throne of God.
When we chose purity we can speak beautifully.:heart

It pays to be pure my brother~ may we each come to know and understand this full well!

Heavenly Father~

You Who are the Source, First Cause, and Last Being with which we come to plead, hear the mouth of this daughter of Yours by the blood of Christ. I bless Your Holy presence with my lowered head and bent neck, may all my heart praise You for You are truly Wonderful!

Forgive my own sins Lord, any that may hinder my voice into Your waiting ear. Forgive and cleanse and fill my mouth now with Your Holy Spirit’s words for my brother. For this is no small matter to You oh God.

Father grant from Your abundant provision a new thought in your son, sparrow. Let his mind be as Yours is in his understanding of his smoking. I ask that You create an aversion to the smell the taste and the look of cigarettes in him. I ask that You will speak closely to his innermost man of this matter and teach him Your Way of deliverance in this matter also. I ask that You will guide him so closely ~ that he will see Your desire before him continually. I ask for complete and total vanquish of his flesh by his submission to Your hand and purpose. Give him Your grace Lord, be merciful in Your great power.

I foremost ask for humility to remain in him, for it is the only soil in which Your graces grow. Father You have created mankind with a single concern, one highest virtue, one only happiness, in which is that place of entire dependence upon You not only now but thru eternity. May your life be imparted to Sparrow continuously, and maintain his life in blessed purity in each area of weakness. Strengthen his arm to the battle oh God, and forge a thorough heavenly work in him. 3

I ask for the sake Jesus name in Sparrow, for the name and glory of the Most High I ask. Your will and purpose be fully done.

 

[Sparkey]

Dear SheWhoIsHisVeryOwn (Bonnie),

Thank you for meeting me here. I remain "under" this for a short while and will return and speak with you further because within your words I find the balm of Gilead. Iron does sharpen iron and the word in you meets the word of me here on this ground which is holy.

I am in no way ignoring this and wanted to "dispatch" a quick message just-so's-ya-know.
I would also like to thank and express my appreciation to all who have come here and asked in His Name for me. Even to the silent ones (maybe especially to them) --- in the body of Christ it is the "hidden" that are the more comely.

~sparrowhawke

"So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the long robe with sleeves that he wore [Coat Of Many Colors]; and they took him and cast him into a pit. The pit was empty, there was no water in it. Then they sat down to eat; and looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing gum, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry it down to Egypt. Then Judah said to his brothers, "What profit is it if we slay our brother and conceal his blood? Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh." And his brothers heeded him. Then Midianite traders passed by; and they drew Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver; and they took Joseph to Egypt." (Genesis 37:23-28 RSV)

• Embalming* took its name from the use of balm as a preservative in earlier times. Both Jacob///Israel (who died in Egypt but was buried in the land of Israel at Machpelah) -and- Joseph were embalmed by the Egyptian method:[/*:m:1i52c0gj]

"And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father. So the physicians embalmed Israel; forty days were required for it, for so many are required for embalming." (Genesis 50:2-3 RSV)

"And Joseph said to his brothers, "I am about to die; but God will visit you, and bring you up out of this land to the land which he swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob." Then Joseph took an oath of the sons of Israel, saying, "God will visit you, and you shall carry up my bones from here." So Joseph died, being a hundred and ten years old; and they embalmed him, and he was put in a coffin in Egypt." (Genesis 50:24-26 RSV)

I go to my death, but not my death it is upon the command of King. We are to die daily and to carry our cross daily, yes? *big smile upon the little boy who stumbles upon a sacred truth!

~Sparrow

______________
Footnote///Annotation///Accreditation:
[*]Embalming: http://www.keyway.ca/htm2003/20030221.htm

 

[Sparkey]

~Sparrow... accepted in the beloved.:waving

• Greetings! < quick thanks again and again >
  I want to go through this slowly and respond to your heartfelt comments. I have swallowed this in one gulp when first read and find the taste to be sweet and pure. Now comes the time of chewing and a more leisurely consideration.[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

The Struggle

I understand your desires to be delivered of anything that would put you under its bondage. For you as we all, desire to be only under the Weight of His Glory. So we are departing from this realm and daily gathering into the Joy of our Lord. Salvation is a daily thing for our humanness isn’t it? Though it is secure and we are seated in the heavenlies even now in spirit, we live in a tent housing our buoyant hearts and anchoring our minds and souls to earth.

• [*]Yes indeed and I especially like the word you delivered to me by PM: "You are a man of words, and a man of passionate heart. Your relationship with Christ is likely no more intense nor wonderful than many men." Each of us is different and the question that I have asked all my life: --but How Lord? How will You ever be able to fit me into Your plan??? I know that you are all powerful and all that, and for you nothing is impossible. but HOW? I really don't get it,' <---- that question has changed. And it isn't so much a question any more as it is a marvel. How can you fit us together, Lord? How??? How can I be trusted in such a marvelous thing? Will I become a thief and try to rob you < when I see Your glory clearly upon 'her'> ??[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]
  [*]Today, He is whispering to me that I can be a part of "her". That my labor and my travail (as He works into me both the will and the way) makes this possible. A question occurs, what does this prophetic "word" mean? "Look to the root for the fruit." --the church elder who spoke to me (not "over" me) said that normally people should look up to the branches to find fruit but for me it would not be that way. This from when my children were yet small-fries. *smile*[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]
  [*]Even now I am hearing, "I have settled my Fear on you," and I take this as the answer to my question about becoming a robber. I do greatly fear him in truth. Even the weight of this thought itself <and how I came to know it> almost crushes me.[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

God’s Victory revealed

Then I looked, and behold, a Lamb standing on Mount Zion, and with Him one hundred and forty-four thousand, having His Father’s name written on their foreheads. And I heard a voice from heaven, like the voice of many waters, and like the voice of loud thunder. And I heard the sound of harpists playing their harps. They sang as it were a new song before the throne, before the four living creatures, and the elders; and no one could learn that song except the hundred and forty-four thousand who were redeemed from the earth. Revelation 14:1-3

Here is the witness of the virgins in the tribulation… yes they are Israel in my understanding, yet we are the grafted in branches~ and every syllable of God breathed scripture is ours to be molded and conformed by. ?

These men have great and wonderous things… things your heart seeks….

• I am reminded here of Rev 15:5 --> the

• Song of Moses and the Song of the Lamb: "Great, great and Marvelous are your works, who shall not fear You, O Lord![/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

They have the voice of power. This voice, is like thunder~ the 144,000 have a thunderous voice. We can see the power in the voice of a parent who is living in purity. It is the voice that is heeded well, and affects generations. The voice of the one without purity has no authority. Authority and integrity are linked together inextricably. The human spirit can sense in our voice, see on our face whether or not we are a person of integrity. We can be seen through. :o

• Off the topic here - but have you pondered the meaning of: In their mouth both fire and water?[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

See they sing a new song Sparrow~ (chirp chirp) they have a song on their lips… and in their hearts to share. A new song always intends (a song of joy) of great thankfulness~ my son-in-law understands this without verbalizing it, as a worship leader~ he knows it in his heart. . . I learned this from him.
See~ living in purity… brings true joy! ahh... I am listening to yours...:headphones

• Yes, integrity is critical to worship and especially in music ministry. It is direct ministry to the body of Christ and if to be truly uplifting must be from the hearts unbridled as the Spirit flows from above then through them outward. Ahhhh.... song. [/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

Our God is a happy~ joyful~ God!

Harps or the lyre of those times were ten stringed instruments. Those who know from John’s day would know, the strings are 10~ as are the 10 commandments. No~ I will not bind you up with the law now, but release you to live in the law of liberty that is life in Christ. However, when even one of the least of these strings break~ the music sounds tinny, it lacks beauty, it’s rhythm and life and fullness is all disjointed. istorted

Why did they follow Jesus into the wilderness, and went without food~ not even thinking of their needs~ in multitudes~ to hear him? See Hebrews 1:9 says; Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

• They also would not leave him saying, "You have the words of truth." And, "Within your truth we find life!" His word was their bread and they knew it was needed for life. It's funny because we are both preachers and both love this - to hear and to say. --here, let me fetch one of my favorites: <brb - processing> it is an entire Psalm [inserted just below] [/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

A Song of degrees of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.

Just as our Lord Jesus demonstrated, our happiness in life is directly proportional to our holiness… This is what you seek these joyful loving holy boundaries in our God further expanded.

Sexual Sin:

• I read this next part as a whisper and with my eyes covered. Both with thanks and breath caught within me. [/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

Sex is extremely glorious like a fire in a fireplace. Sex is, romance (which exalts the self life), It says I am desired, wanted, special. It is interesting, and can keep us busy wondering (He loves me ? He loves me not?) and it is warming ( how our flesh craves it ). Yet take the fire outside of the safe place, the hearth, and it is destructive! Let the fire burn outside of the safe place meant for it and we will get burned up and burned out! :onfire

Now look, after the terrible searing blaze of early lusts has died~ we may stir up embers gone cold from lack of heat… and find a spark there. And God knows the consequences of this folly is everywhere in our world today, for many their future life and hopes are burning to the ground because they answered their cravings. :verysad

Both smoking and sex are fires, one lit within ~ the other lit without.

• Excellent insight. Thank you.[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

But in this rather droll truth, is a mark of the pairing you spoke of. The fire within begins in the nature given us, meant to sate an appetite that is excellently fulfilled within the marital bond, and the devil’s tool (even mentally) out of it.

But what innate urge placed within us does smoking fill? None. No~ it is an appetite suppressant~ ( it can substitute for the sexual urge in some ~ for gluttony in others ~ or for other things) Ah~ but it is also a sexual appetite stimulant ~ (the world depicts this in the cigarette after scenario). Is that only a movie trend? Hmmmmm….. Neither you nor I think so; the worldly led by our enemy know whether it was a lie devised or a scheme planted to link our souls to two sins leading to united bondage at once. Like for many caught souls drinking and smoking are linked together. The darts of the Evil One work wiles. :robinhood

• [*timid voice* growing bold]: And here is where the rubber meets the road so to speak. You have freely given your observations here and the keen eye can see you and your life well -- because you have shared your innermost. Thanks again but more because I am prompted to be just as frank with you as you are to me. My doctor has warned me about smoking of course. She too may have been given insight and asked if I might have other "concerns". Studies have shown that long term smoking reduces blood flow which in a male can have disturbing consequence to his ego. Part of me strongly desires to put all sexual urges down and I want to become a voluntary Eunuch for the sake of the kingdom. I clearly see that the way that I've been going about this is destined to fail and that I am just killing myself. It's a sad thought but there is so much life and light in the Lord that I celebrate what comes.[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

The Lord granted me a complete early deliverance from smoking when I was only 29, but I wanted to be desired (my fatal error) and without God to change my thinking and my ways… I grew plump for the first time ~ snacking replaced smoking ~ so I went speeding back.

I had things attached to my deliverance from smoking too, I saw a clear distinction between my need of sex and cigarettes ( the culture we adhered to in those days). I would not have started smoking I believe~ I am allergic to it; doctor says I probably have always been. My throat would swell inside and I suffered from chronic laryngitis while I smoked. But my first husband smoked so I took it up in defense. However~ I became so addicted in my 30’s that for two years I smoked three packs a day and weighed only 92 pounds! :o

I sought for 5 years to put the habit down… I knew every nuance of my need for this weed… I could tell you when… and how much… and why I wanted a cigarette. So~ I put my knowledge of my bondage to the test… I was able (by power of will) to whittle my habit down to one per day. Yet I was still brought under the bondage of it. I was not free. It overtook me again and again and again.

My first husband had a massive heart attack and died ~ it is difficult to say~ the doctors say the drugs and drink and smoking all took him. But I say it was a broken heart …desperately lonely… unwilling to grasp God …perhaps at the last… I still hope to see him in heaven. My David. 3

Finally ~ I found the church of God, and I prayed and asked God “how to quitâ€Â. He led me to find out what I was afraid of losing…

In Prayer~ over time~ He told me~ I have already delivered your heart my child; your mind is battling with Me now. He said you fear becoming less desirable, but I desire you much more than any man ever will. My desire is greater than yours my love. He said~ bonnie your heart hates this sin against Me~ you no longer desire it in truth. Give up your rights to be desired by any man, and let My love satisfy your need. Cling to Me~ let all your passion be poured out over My presence and My body, and I will keep you. Your spirit is willing~ obey your spirit. You must bring your body into obedience to your spirit. Deny it~ deny yourself as long as is needed to purge from your body its dependence on the drug. Then trust Me to do the rest. :adore

My brother Sparrow~ I was delivered from bondage after 21 days of putting the weed down of my own will in the power of God, and have never even slightly wanted to begin again. Let me encourage you further:

• Yes! I've heard of this sin simply "dropping off" of a person through prayer and want it. We can see how twisted the bondage really is. Who was it that said, "the truth shall set you free? Was it said in a shout or a whisper? I hear the whisper and the hope in that lovely statement and in yours here as well. It rings in me! I wish now to sing a new song unto my Lord and <could it be?> this right here and in this instant is part of the first notes.[/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

These are the ones who were not defiled with women, for they are virgins. These are the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. These were redeemed from among men, being firstfruits to God and to the Lamb. And in their mouth was found no deceit, for they are without fault before the throne of God.

They follow the Lamb wherever he goes.
The sun is huge, a hollowed sun can fit inside it 1,300,000 planet earths. The Sun is gigantic, warming, illuminating, life giving, but it can be blocked out with my thumb. Gods will is so warm and big and illuminating, but our sin puts our dumb thumb in the way of your vision of Him. Virgins~ can follow the Lamb because of purity, holiness, and they follow Him easily…

They have fruit for God. The first fruits, the best stuff. God says these are first fruits to Me.
Maybe we don’t care about the respect of men, but we care about what God thinks of us. It is a tough daily choice to keep pure, yet God says it is tasty ~ and He is delighted for it is sweet and pleasing fruit to Him.

(Passion and desire and all the stuff around me, and the beast inside welling up and wanting it all. There is no switch on my belly~ to just turn it off . But I do switch off the TV, and I practice guarding my eyes.)
Ps 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before my eyes.

They have sweetness in their mouth. No poison, no bitterness. Morality purity and holiness, are directly linked to our mouth.

But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;Eph 5:3

The first part of this scripture lists sexual sins the second list of sins follow automatically after the first. So we see that foolish jesting means that the one speaking is involved in sexual immorality, to some extent…
neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. Eph 5:4
And in their mouth was found no deceit, for they are without fault before the throne of God.
When we chose purity we can speak beautifully.:heart

It pays to be pure my brother~ may we each come to know and understand this full well!

Heavenly Father~

• Yes, my All-Sufficiency. Yes. "This for me, this for me." <the little boy voice is heard> [/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

You Who are the Source, First Cause, and Last Being with which we come to plead, hear the mouth of this daughter of Yours by the blood of Christ. I bless Your Holy presence with my lowered head and bent neck, may all my heart praise You for You are truly Wonderful!

Forgive my own sins Lord, any that may hinder my voice into Your waiting ear. Forgive and cleanse and fill my mouth now with Your Holy Spirit’s words for my brother. For this is no small matter to You oh God.

Father grant from Your abundant provision a new thought in your son, sparrow. Let his mind be as Yours is in his understanding of his smoking. I ask that You create an aversion to the smell the taste and the look of cigarettes in him. I ask that You will speak closely to his innermost man of this matter and teach him Your Way of deliverance in this matter also. I ask that You will guide him so closely ~ that he will see Your desire before him continually. I ask for complete and total vanquish of his flesh by his submission to Your hand and purpose. Give him Your grace Lord, be merciful in Your great power.

I foremost ask for humility to remain in him, for it is the only soil in which Your graces grow. Father You have created mankind with a single concern, one highest virtue, one only happiness, in which is that place of entire dependence upon You not only now but thru eternity. May your life be imparted to Sparrow continuously, and maintain his life in blessed purity in each area of weakness. Strengthen his arm to the battle oh God, and forge a thorough heavenly work in him. 3

I ask for the sake Jesus name in Sparrow, for the name and glory of the Most High I ask. Your will and purpose be fully done.

• Yes for the sake of the Name of Jesus, our author and finisher the Omega! As touching, Lord. By the mouth of two and more with You here with us, yes. [/*:m:2f8vyr9m]

 

[allyn]

Our struggles with faith is part of our spiritual development. Because we are but humans, we commit sins, causing us to sway from fulfilling our covenant with God. On the other hand, if your faith is strong, you would be able to overcome all these temptations, and do the right things.

I was really inspired by your story. I hope that you'd be able to rise above what you have been going through. i will pray for the success of your spiritual quest.

May God bless you!

 

[Sparkey]

Very interesting day today.

I'm addicted to coffee and have never thought about giving that up.
But I just forgot to drink any today? Yep.

Also there is evidence that the addiction to cigarettes is falling off of me and I'll tell ya, that is very strange. I don't understand this. I hoped for it but certainly don't understand it. If I'm not victorious and thankful and back here within a week or so (because I'm still Doubting Thomas in this) but if I'm not back with Praise it's only because of my stubborn unwillingness. Clearly. To God is the glory and I bless Him for each of you.

~Sparrow

 

[whirlwind]

Very interesting day today.

I'm addicted to coffee and have never thought about giving that up.
But I just forgot to drink any today? Yep.

Also there is evidence that the addiction to cigarettes is falling off of me and I'll tell ya, that is very strange. I don't understand this. I hoped for it but certainly don't understand it. If I'm not victorious and thankful and back here within a week or so (because I'm still Doubting Thomas in this) but if I'm not back with Praise it's only because of my stubborn unwillingness. Clearly. To God is the glory and I bless Him for each of you.

~Sparrow

Good morning Sparrow,

Your "forgetting" to drink coffee is the same thing that happened to me with colas. I never thought about it...just woke up one morning and thought to drink more water. I never drink colas now but it wasn't a purposeful decision on my part. Actually, it is rather difficult to explain to others. The same with "unclean" foods. I truly think this is a purification process and your need to leave the cigarettes behind is part of it.

I know you'll climb this hurdle...how can you miss with the One climbing beside you?

 

[Fembot]

Congratulations to you two. It was that easy, huh?

 

[Fembot]

Sheis

It took me a few days, but I read your post
Thanks for the wisdom-I, if not all of us, greatly appreciate it.


Your spirit is willing~ obey your spirit. You must bring your body into obedience to your spirit.

 

[Fembot]

I've never so clearly seen the connection between these two things except this moment, as I write even now, while following my friends advice, "Sometimes it helps to write things down, Sparrow," and I don't mind giving credit where it is due. Thank you Fembot for that. My thanks go out to the others who have and are covering me with their prayers and lifting me to our Father. There are several here on this forum and they know who they are, so does our God who says clearly, "I will repay".

AAAAWWWW, How did I miss this?!

I'm sorry, I'm no good with long posts. Sometimes I have to get up and do things and get side tracked.
I think I should be thanking alot of people here as well. God knows who has touched me, guided me and showed me how His people can emanate the Holy Spirit-thousands of miles away.
I believe when you give, you will receive.

*Hugs* :love2

 

[sheshisown]

Precious Fembot~

You are very tender hearted and a sweet "little girl" at heart if I may so, I am so blessed by your encouraging words ~ I take them directly into my heart! :adore

May our Lord continue to use you to bring healing and help to the Body of Christ here.

Love in Jesus to you ... BTW I like your praying hands in your avatar, they remind me...

shessohappytoknowyou!

 

[Fembot]

Precious Fembot~

You are very tender hearted and a sweet "little girl" at heart if I may so, I am so blessed by your encouraging words ~ I take them directly into my heart! :adore

May our Lord continue to use you to bring healing and help to the Body of Christ here.

Love in Jesus to you ... BTW I like your praying hands in your avatar, they remind me...

shessohappytoknowyou!

Thank you Sheis...Oh, and the avatar was a surprise gift from Colton!

 

[Sparkey]

UPDATE: The sin of smoking cigarettes has been rebuked off of me.
<I have never confessed that to men nor in my heart before today and in part I blame Lewis W for what happened///happens///happening today.>

I have waited and continued to "wrestle with God" about my sin since the time of the initial posting and request for the prayers of the saints. This "sparrow" is not Jacob - not the one who "Prevailed with God," although I have in the past but yet, my walk is changed. God has answered my first prayer and concern about healing regarding sexuality and I have somehow by His Grace been given a blessing. Sparrow is considering "courtship" of and with a woman who is his peer and in all ways beauty itself; Our God is performing a mighty work here.

Our Lord is also cunning and crafty beyond me and this should come as no surprise. We all know my love of writing especially in His service, yes? A moment ago I posted a reply in another thread, found here: http://www.christianforums.net/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=39252&p=475669#p475669.

When I reflected on my words given in a good (albeit humorous and hopefully gentle fashion) I heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit: You, My son, have said, "I have heard your word, my brother Lewis, and you added "this day and forever," will you NOW allow this sin to cause your mouth to lie?

By the Power and Authority of my Christ, our Jesus the King, with the prayers of the Saints of God, by the Declaration of mine own mouth it is my considered declaration that this sin of smoking has been well and truly quit and is also a starting work of God in me. Former addictions: You will all bow to the authority of my Christ, Jesus our King.

I have confessed my thanks for the Victory of the Lord God against me and repented before him from the heart. Thanks again are offered and there is no doubt that this accomplishment could never have happened in me without the prayers of the saints, the word of my testimony and --the Blood of the Lamb. I shall forever praise His name both here and now and also for always.

This is my prayer today, that the God who is Justice and Just share my reward with all who from the heart supported me. In the Name of Christ Jesus and by the "YES" of His mouth and heart --this is: Yea! and

 

[sheshisown]

:waving Sparrow~

I am So very blessed in our Jesus great deliverance of you ~ more than may be expressed ~ though I rush to His throne with my mouth filled with His praise! Great is our God... Who is mighty to save! In all things surely He has fixed His goodness upon us, to see to it that we so willingly follow HARD AFTER Him!

May our Father grow in you now a new and glorious work of obediance that springs forth from your joyfilled heart. :heart May He delight in you~ and cause you to press ever nearer to His love and goodness~ and may the saints stand in AWE of His SUPREME hands filled with ministering mercy towards you!

For HIS name ! For His name ! For His glorious name ! Even so and amen! 3

In JOY ~ sheshisrejoicingdaughter ~