your repentance story

[Christ_empowered]

Where were you when it dawned on you that you needed to repent? I think repenting is harder now than ever before, at least here (21st century US). Society has this post-modern, I'm OK, you're OK thing going on. If you have problems, you really have "issues" and you need "help" or...something. There's no room for discontent, much less godly sorrow.

With me, I'd wanted to be a Christian for a while. Read lots of The Bible at Teen Challenge. Read RC Sproul, JI Packer, CS Lewis, etc. Didn't quite sink in. I knew *about* Christ, but I didn't *know* Him. Weird, huh? But then, I was in a high pressure situation, and something clicked. I prayed, I cried, it was wonderful. That was a little over 1 year ago. All I can come up with is that I had to wait on God's timing OR I had some hidden resistance to repentance (pride, self-love, intellectualizing the faith, something like that) that kept me from really getting to know Jesus. The latter explanation would explain why a high pressure situation made everything click.

 

[for_his_glory]

This is my testimony:

I am lost, confused and scared. Will I ever fit in anywhere in this life? I'm hurting, but who cares. I'm lonely and all alone within myself. I've been so used and abused. Where and when will it be my turn! Where are the open arms to hold me and hug me, to tell me I do matter in this life! Where is the voice to calm my tears of pain? I give and give, but nothing gives back in return. I'm mad and angry for what has been taken away from me! How do I go on? I search for God to answer my needs, but never get an answer.

I am a voice that cries out in the wilderness. Will no one listen! Will no one care! I feel like I am invisible at times and when I pray I feel my prayers are falling on deaf ears. I know God loves me. He has rescued me from death and destruction. He has rescued me from wanting to commit suicide. I have never opened my feelings with anyone except God. I have purged and purged until I cannot cry anymore. God has forgiven and forgot my past, how do I! I've been told I am strong and can handle my situations, guess what, I am not strong and I can't handle it anymore! Please God help me!

I am now ready to open up. I can't deal with the pain anymore. I want to let loose and completely die to myself and live for God. I'm asking for total deliverance of all the holds Satan has on me. I'm tired of fighting this on my own. I'm tired of Satan laughing at me and making me feel like nothing and always coming against me. Jesus, save me from my torment! You have called me into service and I am not ready. Lord God please perform a complete deliverance in me. Make my feet straight for what you are calling me to do. Show me how to do your will. Lord you know my heart and you know what I feel I need to do. Open that door and prepare me away.

This is the answer God gave me. When you cry out to him, he will hear you and speak to your heart. You might not like the answer he gives you, but if you really listen it is always the right answer.

11 Kings 5:10, 11

But Naaman was wroth and went away and said, Behold, I thought he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God and strike his hand over the place and recover the leper.

God was showing me in the above scripture the beginning of relying solely on him and not what man could do for me. I was going from church to church trying to fit in with the people. I was trying to find answers and help for myself through the recognition of man. All that got me was more disappointment and frustration. When I learned to give myself totally over to the Lord and rely on him alone and his word is when my life completely changed for the better. Now I serve God with a glad heart and praise him for all his wonderful blessings.

 

[Danus]

Have either of you ever read "Pilgrim's Progress"?

In the story, the main Character is named Pilgrim, and all he knows in the beginning is that he has the burden he carries with him. The burden represents his sin.

 

[for_his_glory]

I should have mentioned I wrote my testimony back in 1997 when my world was crashing in on me and needed answers from God.

No I never read it, but I'm not much of a book reader. Burden can represent our sin and gets heavier and heavier if we continue to carry them with us. This reminds me of an old song that goes something like........come lay down your burden, down by the riverside. It's when we are baptized into Christ that we are free from that burden of sin we have been carrying around for so many years.

 

[Danus]

I should have mentioned I wrote my testimony back in 1997 when my world was crashing in on me and needed answers from God.

No I never read it, but I'm not much of a book reader. Burden can represent our sin and gets heavier and heavier if we continue to carry them with us. This reminds me of an old song that goes something like........come lay down your burden, down by the riverside. It's when we are baptized into Christ that we are free from that burden of sin we have been carrying around for so many years.

Check it out if you can. I think you'd like it. There might be an audio or video on it. I'm sure there is. All the characters are symbolic