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2 year old needs gas money

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My wife's cousin is getting married in upstate NY. So my wife and 2 year old daughter are going up and will be in the wedding. Also her sister(24) and her parents will be going. My father-in-law came up with the idea that they would make it a family road trip from FL-NY in his van. They would save money, have a car while they are in NY and spend some good time together. This is a good Christian family.

I have to tell you that last winter my wife's parents took a trip with her sister and her husband to CO. They ended up in a big big dispute over finances and all still feel very bitter about the whole thing.

And come to find out, there has been quite a bit of problems over the years with the parents as to what is right and what is wrong with money and objects. Selling us a couch for $250 they told us they bought new for $1200 to find out later they got at a garage sale for $120. Sold us TWO tv's that do not work for $190. Convincing us to do things at our wedding that we could not afford or that we did not need to do, asuring us they were taking care of it all, but stiffing us later. The list goes on and on and on.......

My family had NO money when I was growing up. I have 5 brothers and we lived in a 1 br efficiency and ate whatever my dad caught that night fishing for a long long time. We were in poverty. So we didn't fight over money. My family fights for standard, for principles, and family values. All of us kids played baseball, basketball and football every year. I still have no clue how my parents did it but every couple months we got everything we needed for the sports we were playing. Cleets, socks, uniforms, equiptment, etc...

My wife's parents bought her a piano when she was a little girl and she took lessons for years. She is now an amazing musician singing two nights a week at my restaurant.. We just bought our first house, so my wife asked if she could get her piano. They told her it was there piano and were shocked that she was asking to take the piece of furniture that holds so many pictures in their family room (Neither one of them have any idea how to play any musical instrument). Her Mom laughed as she told me that they were the ones who bought it, making them the rightful owners.

I still have my basketball, two baseball gloves, a couple bats, and many many balls from my childhood. Thank God my parents let me keep the things they got for me to learn with as a reward for good behavior.

Anyway to make a long story short, between her parents, her sister and her brother-in-law, they all have decided to charge their 2 year old granddaughter (& neice) gas money for this family get-away. Justification (so they don't feel guilty) is that she would be charged for an airlinr ticket and they just want everything to be fair for all of them. I think this is absolutly absurd and insain. I am so thankful that my grandparents didn't charge us to go to SC every summer growing up. I told them exactly how I felt the moment they called with their plan. Everyone would give Father-in-law the cash they would've spent on a plane ticket. Whatever is left over they would split when they return.

If it was up to me my wife and child would be on an airplane. She doesn't want anyone mad at her. I've been told it's Brother-inlaw's fault, father-in-law's fault, it's to save money because everyone's broke, to keep things fair, etc.etc... I would pay my sister-in-law's share in a heart beat if she needed the money. I do not however, want my daughter to be taken advantage of. Fanily values is not how much you can get out of or make off of eachother.

I ended up in a long argument with my sister-in-law over this whole thing in which she came to agree with me 100% in the end but now is just bad-talking me later.

Who charges a 2 year old girl gas money?
Well I guess I can loan her the money and have her mow the lawn to pay me back ;-)
 
Sounds like a major dysfunctional family. I know, I'll probably seem harsh in this, but family or not, I don't know if I could tolerate them at all. I would probably end up saying something confrontive if they behaved that way with me. Maybe if they behaved that way with someone else, in front of me also. immaturity and skewed thinking like that is so insulting and hurtful. Sorry.
 
Either you, your wife and daughter drive yourselves or fly there. There is no way this will be a "good" roadtrip if you ride with the other family members.

Her family sounds a lot like my in-laws and there is NO WAY you would find me on a road trip with them! In fact, my hubby said there is no way that he'd agree to a roadtrip with them!
 
You have to remember that at this point, your wife and daughter are your highest priority. It shouldn't matter whether or not her family will be upset by your choice. It's your job to protect your family. I hope things work out for you.
 
Life can be tough!

You need God's grace in this situation. It never works well when you get in arguments. They you lower yourself to levels you will be embarased about.

The best thing you can do is set clear boundaries. Especially when it comes to money. Agree to never buy anything from your inlaws. If they wonder why, be nice but firm. Let them know that they have not been honest with their dealings and you and your wife have agreed not to get involved financially, including purchasing items from them.

Make your own arrangements to go to the wedding. Let them know you appreciate their desire to help, but you have realized that the best way to get along well with them is to not get involved financially including sharing expenses.

Talk this through with your wife. Agree to honor her parents and not accuse them. However, you will need to distance yourself from the in financial matters.

Then ask for God's grace and for a love for your inlaws that passes understanding. Not an acceptance of their ways, but a love that only Christ can give you.
 

Donations

Total amount
$1,592.00
Goal
$5,080.00
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