Hey everyone I could use some help/advice. I’ve been married for 5+ years to a very wonderful sweet woman. She has been my best friend since we were children. She was my first and only girlfriend. So we’ve been married for 5 years. I love her (or I believe I do) that being said people change and life changes. Lately with all that’s been going on in our life I can’t help but think about how my life would be “easier” or I’d be “happier” if I was single and only had to worry and take care of myself. It’s incredibly selfish and unfair to my wife. I’ve also noticed that I’m not as physically attracted to her as I once was. I feel horrible about this and I’m unsure how or if I should talk to her about this. So apologies for the long post but what are something’s I can do to work on myself and what are something’s my wife and I could do to help this? I just want to love m wife like she loves me and like she deserves as this is unfair for her. Thank you and God bless.
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Could use some advice.
- Thread starter LB1997
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journeyman
Member
Hello LB1997.
Tell her the way you feel and that you are sorry for letting your relationship drift apart. Don't hold back brother. Be honest. You do love your wife. Any thoughts about abandoning her is of the devil and should be fought against. You might be surprised how happy she is with your honesty and she probably feels the same way.
I pray God heals your marriage. God bless
journeyman
Member
Thank our merciful Jesus pal. I've been angry at me wife longer than you've been on this planet. I looked at her mistakes not mine like it was all her fault.
f we confess oursins, he is faithful and just toforgive us our sins, and to cleanseus from all unrighteousness. 1Jn.1:9
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh themshall have mercy. Pro.28:13
no matter what her response keep loving her as Our Savior does. my wife and I talk now peaceably. I don't know where it will go. I'm trusting Jesus anyway even if it doesn't work out it's OK I know I am in the hands of our Lord.
f we confess oursins, he is faithful and just toforgive us our sins, and to cleanseus from all unrighteousness. 1Jn.1:9
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh themshall have mercy. Pro.28:13
no matter what her response keep loving her as Our Savior does. my wife and I talk now peaceably. I don't know where it will go. I'm trusting Jesus anyway even if it doesn't work out it's OK I know I am in the hands of our Lord.
I learned hard lesson about being selfish. Pain was inevitable.
In 2011 my dad died of cancer. He smoked since he was teenager.
Just before he died. I visited him twice week at veterans hospital, for monrh. He was in pain and suffering. He told me he wanted to move on.
In my heart, I selfishly wanted him to live longer. I didn't want to let go of my dad. I was in lot of pain in that period of my life.
After few weeks. I came to my senses. I prayed to God. And said to Jesus, He take my dad. He's suffering and it's selfish of me to want him to bear more suffering.
Day after my prayer. My brother told me my dad passed away.
Love is the answer my friend.
Ecclesiastes 3:17 . I said in my heart , God shall judge the righteousness and the wicked:
Honesty, decency and love. Don't stray from path of godliness.
I hope this helps.
In 2011 my dad died of cancer. He smoked since he was teenager.
Just before he died. I visited him twice week at veterans hospital, for monrh. He was in pain and suffering. He told me he wanted to move on.
In my heart, I selfishly wanted him to live longer. I didn't want to let go of my dad. I was in lot of pain in that period of my life.
After few weeks. I came to my senses. I prayed to God. And said to Jesus, He take my dad. He's suffering and it's selfish of me to want him to bear more suffering.
Day after my prayer. My brother told me my dad passed away.
Love is the answer my friend.
Ecclesiastes 3:17 . I said in my heart , God shall judge the righteousness and the wicked:
Honesty, decency and love. Don't stray from path of godliness.
I hope this helps.
Hey All,
Before you tell her, examine your own life.
You wrote, "I love her (or I believe I do) that being said people change and life changes. Lately with all that’s been going on in our life I can’t help but think about how my life would be “easier” or I’d be “happier” if I was single and only had to worry and take care of myself."
Why?
What changed in you?
What is going on in your life that causes you to "wonder"?
What would make your life "easier"or "happier?"
What happened to "for better or worse?"
Why do you want to be single?
You also wrote, "I’ve also noticed that I’m not as physically attracted to her as I once was. I feel horrible about this and I’m unsure how or if I should talk to her about this."
What caused you to not be attracted to her?
If you feel horrible, its not her. It's you. You have not shared with her what you are thinking. She has no idea you feel horrible. So it's you. May I suggest that you need to resolve your issues within yourself before you confront your wife with them. Be stone cold honest. If you cannot adequately answer simple questions you have within yourself, how are you going to ask her? You know that is a fight that may have irreparable results. That is a life-changing fight. Even if your marriage survives it, it will loom in the background the rest of your lives. So think wisely before you take that big step of "sharing."
Also, if you resolve them, you may not need to talk her about them.
Keep walking everybody.
May God bless,
Taz
Before you tell her, examine your own life.
You wrote, "I love her (or I believe I do) that being said people change and life changes. Lately with all that’s been going on in our life I can’t help but think about how my life would be “easier” or I’d be “happier” if I was single and only had to worry and take care of myself."
Why?
What changed in you?
What is going on in your life that causes you to "wonder"?
What would make your life "easier"or "happier?"
What happened to "for better or worse?"
Why do you want to be single?
You also wrote, "I’ve also noticed that I’m not as physically attracted to her as I once was. I feel horrible about this and I’m unsure how or if I should talk to her about this."
What caused you to not be attracted to her?
If you feel horrible, its not her. It's you. You have not shared with her what you are thinking. She has no idea you feel horrible. So it's you. May I suggest that you need to resolve your issues within yourself before you confront your wife with them. Be stone cold honest. If you cannot adequately answer simple questions you have within yourself, how are you going to ask her? You know that is a fight that may have irreparable results. That is a life-changing fight. Even if your marriage survives it, it will loom in the background the rest of your lives. So think wisely before you take that big step of "sharing."
Also, if you resolve them, you may not need to talk her about them.
Keep walking everybody.
May God bless,
Taz
God is Kind
Member
My advice would be to truly seek God and develop yourself by reading the Bible daily. You are to love your wife like Christ loved the church. Do I think you should talk to her about it? not yet. why? because you should develop yourself as a man in Christ and let God heal you from the desire for "self". the fact that you desire to take care of your "self" indicates that you are not in the will of God. Ask God to give you the grace to seek Him for guidance and I pray you can overcome this. The Bible says it is not good for man to be alone. Don't make a decision that will cause your life to lack honor.