Do we show who and what we are, by the way we post on forums ?

[Grubal Muruch]

Do we display, who and what we are while intercommunicating on forums such as this ? Is our choice of words a dead give away to the kind of person we truly are ? Does our Christian belief show up in the kind of attitude we convey to other's ? Do other's see in us, what we actually believe ? Do we display the fruits of the Spirit in our conversations ? Love, joy, long suffering, kindness, etc,.?? This seems like a good topic to discuss between one another...What do you think??

 

[Gazelle]

Thank you Grubal for bringing this to the forefront. I'm a newbie and felt great opposition when I first came and tried to voice my concerns, so I backed off. I surely hope we can have a good, in depth, Christian support discussion on this.

Of course how we post may be even more important than what we post. "Actions speak louder than words." " I can't hear what you're saying because..." phrases come to mind.

I mentioned in another place how I came looking for a place to send Christian members (of another site that is secular) to, for additional support, but find this site unsuitable right now.

I don't wish to have anyone think I think I am better in the arrogant sense than they. I do think we need to realize our own strengths and weaknesses and use what we can and work on what still needs work. Believers are all on the same path, and just like a high schooler isn't "better" than a kindergartener, but just farther ahead on the path, we have the same scenario here (regardless of physical age. ;) ) But realizing, admitting to, working on areas that need improvement while using our strengths with each other is what team work is all about.

So, what way would you like the thread to go... the qualities of a Christian and how to emulate Christ, or perhaps how to make a website better with certain rules of engagement that shows respect and support for others (and no, they are not mutually exclusive.)

As a prisoner for the Lord, then,,
I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
NIV Ephesians 4:1-3​

 

[stovebolts]

I believe that the way we post shows the diversity within each of us. Each of us has a funny side, a sad side and even a mean side. Furthermore, we each choose which side to show to the world, or whoever we are speaking to.

As we each choose how to show ourselves to the world, does not mean that everyone will accept that view or it will be received as inteded, and that view may be misinterpreted as well depending on one's experience. In other words, we all carry some baggage.

But the thing is, we each have an opportunity to respond accordingly. For example, say that I am angry, you can either butt heads with me and fuel that anger, or you can see beyond, and respond with grace. We each have that choice. So really, it works both ways and hopefully, with patience issues get worked out.

 

[Grubal Muruch]

Thank you Grubal for bringing this to the forefront. I'm a newbie and felt great opposition when I first came and tried to voice my concerns, so I backed off. I surely hope we can have a good, in depth, Christian support discussion on this.

Of course how we post may be even more important than what we post. "Actions speak louder than words." " I can't hear what you're saying because..." phrases come to mind.

I mentioned in another place how I came looking for a place to send Christian members (of another site that is secular) to, for additional support, but find this site unsuitable right now.

I don't wish to have anyone think I think I am better in the arrogant sense than they. I do think we need to realize our own strengths and weaknesses and use what we can and work on what still needs work. Believers are all on the same path, and just like a high schooler isn't "better" than a kindergartener, but just farther ahead on the path, we have the same scenario here (regardless of physical age. ;) ) But realizing, admitting to, working on areas that need improvement while using our strengths with each other is what team work is all about.

So, what way would you like the thread to go... the qualities of a Christian and how to emulate Christ, or perhaps how to make a website better with certain rules of engagement that shows respect and support for others (and no, they are not mutually exclusive.)

As a prisoner for the Lord, then,,
I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
NIV Ephesians 4:1-3​

You make a lot of sense, good post...

 

[Grubal Muruch]

I believe that the way we post shows the diversity within each of us. Each of us has a funny side, a sad side and even a mean side. Furthermore, we each choose which side to show to the world, or whoever we are speaking to.

As we each choose how to show ourselves to the world, does not mean that everyone will accept that view or it will be received as inteded, and that view may be misinterpreted as well depending on one's experience. In other words, we all carry some baggage.

But the thing is, we each have an opportunity to respond accordingly. For example, say that I am angry, you can either butt heads with me and fuel that anger, or you can see beyond, and respond with grace. We each have that choice. So really, it works both ways and hopefully, with patience issues get worked out.

Good points...

 

[Gazelle]

We all post from our world view. Everyone, everyone does this... and that world view is compiled best by a cognitive awareness of what one values. Sometimes people have world views that closely align with the unrepentant world without even realizing they are holding and displaying attitudes that don't truly align with Scripture.

To outwardly fault someone here for doing that is incongruous with the very promotion of proper posting. We need to gently lead, and hopefully find moderators who will nudge (as the Admin Nick often has to) those who fail to follow in good footprints. ;)

I hope this thread will lead to the how of posting as believers is best done.

I'll give a small example, if I may be so bold to???

When reading a post, especially a new thread post, take it at face value.

By that I mean don't add in anything of what you think you know about the person, don't assume anything, don't "mind read" but reply to the post as though the question or statement is a genuine concern to the member. In general, reply with the information from what you know yourself, maybe even in "I statements". ("I believe... " "I think.." "I experienced this...")

If someone makes a statement, unless you're admin or moderator who needs to remove it, respond to it as a real, no strings attached, statement. (Of course when in some of the more in depth discoveries, we might see more of the "this isn't what I believe but..." type postings.)

We never know until a person shares truthfully what is behind any post. To assume we know --to assume any of us know even when we may actually be knowledgeable about the member is a misnomer. I personally think that some members here post "what if" type questions, or "for a friend" questions just to avoid the avalanche of non-supportive replies that might be directed at them personally. Just my POV.

 

[Danus]

We show who we are by the "content" of our post.

What is meant by "the way we post?" The way might speak to ones mood, but that's about it in so far as defining "way"

 

[Grubal Muruch]

We all post from our world view. Everyone, everyone does this... and that world view is compiled best by a cognitive awareness of what one values. Sometimes people have world views that closely align with the unrepentant world without even realizing they are holding and displaying attitudes that don't truly align with Scripture.

To outwardly fault someone here for doing that is incongruous with the very promotion of proper posting. We need to gently lead, and hopefully find moderators who will nudge (as the Admin Nick often has to) those who fail to follow in good footprints. ;)

I hope this thread will lead to the how of posting as believers is best done.

I'll give a small example, if I may be so bold to???

When reading a post, especially a new thread post, take it at face value.

By that I mean don't add in anything of what you think you know about the person, don't assume anything, don't "mind read" but reply to the post as though the question or statement is a genuine concern to the member. In general, reply with the information from what you know yourself, maybe even in "I statements". ("I believe... " "I think.." "I experienced this...")

If someone makes a statement, unless you're admin or moderator who needs to remove it, respond to it as a real, no strings attached, statement. (Of course when in some of the more in depth discoveries, we might see more of the "this isn't what I believe but..." type postings.)

We never know until a person shares truthfully what is behind any post. To assume we know --to assume any of us know even when we may actually be knowledgeable about the member is a misnomer. I personally think that some members here post "what if" type questions, or "for a friend" questions just to avoid the avalanche of non-supportive replies that might be directed at them personally. Just my POV.

There's something to "keep" in mind when sharing a thought, belief, opinion, etc. If we present our thought, etc,. and someone comes back at us in a "snide" or angry way, that will inspire us to do likewise, at which point it becomes an angry discourse between the two. It takes two to keep a feud going. Keeping the conversation respectful and friendly is the best bet...However, if someone starts the discussion with name calling, angry retorts, disrespectful language, put downs,etc. that's hard to handle without doing likewise. That's why it's so important for (Christians) to become disciplined. Remember it takes two to start a battle and two to keep the peace...

 

[tim-from-pa]

All I can say is thank God for emoticons. I think a lot can be taken wrong without them. <<<< Now that's a politically incorrect emoticon!

 

[reba]

You are wise grasshopper

 

[Grubal Muruch]

You are wise grasshopper

Thank you Reba...

 

[Gazelle]

There's something to "keep" in mind when sharing a thought, belief, opinion, etc. If we present our thought, etc,. and someone comes back at us in a "snide" or angry way, that will inspire us to do likewise, at which point it becomes an angry discourse between the two. It takes two to keep a feud going. Keeping the conversation respectful and friendly is the best bet...However, if someone starts the discussion with name calling, angry retorts, disrespectful language, put downs,etc. that's hard to handle without doing likewise. That's why it's so important for (Christians) to become disciplined. Remember it takes two to start a battle and two to keep the peace...

I do think it only takes one to begin the battle though... many times we can read something quite innocent and then read a nasty or snarky reply. It does take two to continue it... and it's a thin line to walk in trying to figure out and discuss what the misfit replier means or feels etc., and to convey how their answer didn't seem appropriate.

 

[Gazelle]

All I can say is thank God for emoticons. I think a lot can be taken wrong without them. <<<< Now that's a politically incorrect emoticon!

IDK but I've seen emoticons used to try and buffer the actual comment, which was obviously hurtful... but yes, on the replies where it's iffy, if there's a grinning emoticon it does tend to sway me the more lighthearted way. ;)

PS I agree that bowing is not so politically correct for the USA, but in China it might be useful.

 

[Grubal Muruch]

I do think it only takes one to begin the battle though... many times we can read something quite innocent and then read a nasty or snarky reply. It does take two to continue it... and it's a thin line to walk in trying to figure out and discuss what the misfit replier means or feels etc., and to convey how their answer didn't seem appropriate.

Your right. Someone has to start it. then it becomes a free for all at times...

 

[Danus]

There's something to "keep" in mind when sharing a thought, belief, opinion, etc. If we present our thought, etc,. and someone comes back at us in a "snide" or angry way, that will inspire us to do likewise, at which point it becomes an angry discourse between the two. It takes two to keep a feud going. Keeping the conversation respectful and friendly is the best bet...However, if someone starts the discussion with name calling, angry retorts, disrespectful language, put downs,etc. that's hard to handle without doing likewise. That's why it's so important for (Christians) to become disciplined. Remember it takes two to start a battle and two to keep the peace...

Does it take two to keep the peace? Or just one?

Everyone is responsible for their own emotions. When people say things like "That person hurt my feelings", that's a misnomer. What they really mean is "my feelings are hurt."

But, we don't disallow that to happen in retribution, NO. We have to think through the "why" of it and decide if we are going to remain "hurt".

The bible has a lot of great advice on speaking and how we should engage one another, but it's more than than anything, advice. We are also advised on decrement skills of listening. Listening is part of speaking.

 

[Gazelle]

Does it take two to keep the peace? Or just one?

Everyone is responsible for their own emotions. When people say things like "That person hurt my feelings", that's a misnomer. What they really mean is "my feelings are hurt."

But, we don't disallow that to happen in retribution, NO. We have to think through the "why" of it and decide if we are going to remain "hurt".

The bible has a lot of great advice on speaking and how we should engage one another, but it's more than than anything, advice. We are also advised on decrement skills of listening. Listening is part of speaking.

Yes, determining whether the post or the feelings are about the originator or another person can be important as well.

I'm not sure about ONE keeping the peace. If indeed the mischief maker's comments don't require a come back, then yes, the one who doesn't post keeps the peace. Keeping ego in check when someone pokes is a worthy skill as well.

I think to add to the good points is to not take a thread off topic. Too many times I'm reading along and all of a sudden there are comments of jest or whatever out of the blue back and forth between members. Members who know better surely, for some are designated moderators here. Yes, all members do this from time to time but I think those who are called to be examples should be just that. (For truly, who is going to ask a person like that to get back on target? No one, well, yes admin does often lol. So the thread goes in whichever direction they decide--or waits until they decide to bring it back on topic.)

Now, in the same vein, I think if the OP decides to take it off topic, a side road, that should be quite acceptable. IDK here if they are allowed to, or if they are encouraged to begin a new thread.

But it's only respectful to allow the person's topic to overrule one's own desire to banter and kid. I think visitor or PM areas are great for that, personally.

 

[reba]

Some folks are straight forward. Blunt direct. some folks can use fancy to say something simple... Like on another thread the talk was about how sweetly a southern belle could cut to the quick...

Yup most folks think there way of doing what ever is correct or they would do it some other way!

 

[Grubal Muruch]

Does it take two to keep the peace? Or just one?

Everyone is responsible for their own emotions. When people say things like "That person hurt my feelings", that's a misnomer. What they really mean is "my feelings are hurt."

But, we don't disallow that to happen in retribution, NO. We have to think through the "why" of it and decide if we are going to remain "hurt".

The bible has a lot of great advice on speaking and how we should engage one another, but it's more than than anything, advice. We are also advised on decrement skills of listening. Listening is part of speaking.

Danus----Does it take two to have peace??

Grubal----There cannot be "all out peace" unless both party's are invested in such...


Danus----
Everyone is responsible for their own emotions. When people say things like "That person hurt my feelings", that's a misnomer. What they really mean is "my feelings are hurt."

Grubal-----There had to be a "causative effect" that brought about the end result...

Danus----- We have to think through the "why" of it and decide if we are going to remain "hurt".

Grubal-----How many people have the "discipline" to do an immediate "personal introspection" to evaluate the why's and wherefore's of their emotional distress. (inspired by the action of another) and then decide to "alter" their "emotional" upset in the name of peace?? The usual human trait is to, "verbally" strike out in anger, in an act of "retribution" We must exercise our patience with others, and make adjustments "before", we come in contact with others. In other words decide "beforehand" how we're going to conduct ourselves in the event of an insult or verbal attack...Also we must condition ourselves to not "create" animosity by choosing our words and responses properly...

 

[Grubal Muruch]

We show who we are by the "content" of our post.

What is meant by "the way we post?" The way might speak to ones mood, but that's about it in so far as defining "way"

The way we answer questions respectfully or not, says a lot about a person...Or even, the way we ask a question... Our delivery and responses of questions speak volumes about us as a person...