Christ_empowered
Member
This is a hard one. Any tips? I used to be an anger ball when it came to people who'd messed with me, largely because, in my situation, lots of people JUST WOULD NOT STOP (sorry for the screaming cap 
Now, its interesting...I started praying for them, as per The Bible's instructions. Even when I didn't want to. Even when I had to push myself and admit to God that I'm holding onto some serious anger.
I'm not such an anger ball anymore when it comes to those people. I've prayed to be given enough compassion to see life through other people's eyes, even when I completely disagree with their outlook.
Now, I'm praying for them to be blessed and come to repentance. Because I'm still angry, I add a little after thought: "if they won't come to repentance, at least mellow them out." Probably not the most Christian thing ever. I thought I was being "realistic." Christianity isn't about being "realistic"; its about faith, hope, and love.
I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. I read somewhere that prayer may *seem* to be about you and your needs, and it sometimes is. For me, it was until God put it on my heart that He loves those people just as much as He loves me. Ouch. They say God is a jealous God. What about jealous Christians? I didn't want God to love them as much as He loves me. I really expected The One, True Living God to pick sides or something. Lame, right?
This isn't just about me and my progress, but I will say this, for all those out there who are having "issues" with persecution, bad people, oppression, all that: once I started just doing what The Bible said to do, even though I didn't feel it/feel like it, my life changed. Not like "Touched by An Angel"--level dramatic or anything (for some reason, I always expect cinematic-quality Divine Intervention, complete with a moving soundtrack), but just as meaningful.
Not only did I change, I'm still changing, and other people around me are changing, too. My situation is improving. Their lives seem to be getting better. Some people, interestingly enough, aren't (yet) Christian, but they have (get ready for this...) "mellowed out." So have I.
Humility (not the false kind, that's easy) and self-awareness are big for me. I realize now that, as a teenager, I was diagnosed with Narcissism for a *reason*. Maybe I didn't have the full-fledged, supposedly incurable disorder, but I was pathologically guided by and centered upon Self. Now, I'm not even diagnosed with Narcissism anymore, although I apparently have some traits that are associated with the disorder (somewhat childlike, too clever, apparently too charming, which is weird, because I used to socially inept).
Yeah. I had to realize that I used to be a wretch, I've done terrible things, Christ chose to save me, and I owe it to those who oppress(ed) me to show some compassion and just forgive, no questions asked. Mellow out, I guess.
I still struggle. Part of my problem is that I really feel like I've got this whole "Christianity thing" down. Right. I think I've read about Christianity, I'm well-behaved and law-abiding, so I'm thinking...yes! I've arrived! Riiiight. I've pretty much "arrived" at a whole new starting point, and this "Christianity thing" is actually a relationship that will last the rest of my life and into eternity. I'm never going to be in a position where I don't/won't need forgiveness, grace, compassion, sometimes even pity and miracles.
This has probably rambled on long enough, lol. I'm all hopped up on Dunkin' Donuts. Anyway, point is...loving those (or, at least praying for those) who "despitefully use you" is surprisingly difficult, but its been well worth it. My best guess is that God has blessed me and those around me simply because I'm doing what His word says to do. Not always. Not perfectly. Not always enthusiastically. But I do it, in my better moments, and its changing everything for me and those around me, its changing my situation...
I'm reminded of the story of the debtor. Remember? Dude owed a massive debt and was facing prison. His debt was forgiven. What did he do? He turned someone else, who owed him a rather minor debt, over for prison. The King was not pleased, and punished the guy with the massive debt.
....
Now, its interesting...I started praying for them, as per The Bible's instructions. Even when I didn't want to. Even when I had to push myself and admit to God that I'm holding onto some serious anger.
I'm not such an anger ball anymore when it comes to those people. I've prayed to be given enough compassion to see life through other people's eyes, even when I completely disagree with their outlook.
Now, I'm praying for them to be blessed and come to repentance. Because I'm still angry, I add a little after thought: "if they won't come to repentance, at least mellow them out." Probably not the most Christian thing ever. I thought I was being "realistic." Christianity isn't about being "realistic"; its about faith, hope, and love.
I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. I read somewhere that prayer may *seem* to be about you and your needs, and it sometimes is. For me, it was until God put it on my heart that He loves those people just as much as He loves me. Ouch. They say God is a jealous God. What about jealous Christians? I didn't want God to love them as much as He loves me. I really expected The One, True Living God to pick sides or something. Lame, right?
This isn't just about me and my progress, but I will say this, for all those out there who are having "issues" with persecution, bad people, oppression, all that: once I started just doing what The Bible said to do, even though I didn't feel it/feel like it, my life changed. Not like "Touched by An Angel"--level dramatic or anything (for some reason, I always expect cinematic-quality Divine Intervention, complete with a moving soundtrack), but just as meaningful.
Not only did I change, I'm still changing, and other people around me are changing, too. My situation is improving. Their lives seem to be getting better. Some people, interestingly enough, aren't (yet) Christian, but they have (get ready for this...) "mellowed out." So have I.
Humility (not the false kind, that's easy) and self-awareness are big for me. I realize now that, as a teenager, I was diagnosed with Narcissism for a *reason*. Maybe I didn't have the full-fledged, supposedly incurable disorder, but I was pathologically guided by and centered upon Self. Now, I'm not even diagnosed with Narcissism anymore, although I apparently have some traits that are associated with the disorder (somewhat childlike, too clever, apparently too charming, which is weird, because I used to socially inept).
Yeah. I had to realize that I used to be a wretch, I've done terrible things, Christ chose to save me, and I owe it to those who oppress(ed) me to show some compassion and just forgive, no questions asked. Mellow out, I guess.
I still struggle. Part of my problem is that I really feel like I've got this whole "Christianity thing" down. Right. I think I've read about Christianity, I'm well-behaved and law-abiding, so I'm thinking...yes! I've arrived! Riiiight. I've pretty much "arrived" at a whole new starting point, and this "Christianity thing" is actually a relationship that will last the rest of my life and into eternity. I'm never going to be in a position where I don't/won't need forgiveness, grace, compassion, sometimes even pity and miracles.
This has probably rambled on long enough, lol. I'm all hopped up on Dunkin' Donuts. Anyway, point is...loving those (or, at least praying for those) who "despitefully use you" is surprisingly difficult, but its been well worth it. My best guess is that God has blessed me and those around me simply because I'm doing what His word says to do. Not always. Not perfectly. Not always enthusiastically. But I do it, in my better moments, and its changing everything for me and those around me, its changing my situation...
I'm reminded of the story of the debtor. Remember? Dude owed a massive debt and was facing prison. His debt was forgiven. What did he do? He turned someone else, who owed him a rather minor debt, over for prison. The King was not pleased, and punished the guy with the massive debt.
....