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Archives for January 2020

January 17, 2020 by Susannah

Dating with a Purpose

“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3:

Part of being a Christian is to grow in faith. This will not happen if you date just for the sake of having fun. Dating should lead to courtship and marriage. This is dating with a purpose.

These days single people have dating down to a science. They know where to meet people. They have an excellent online profile that says nothing about what they really want, but is guaranteed to get someone’s attention. They have the clothes they need to impress their date, and they are excellent conversationalists.

What they do not have is an understanding of how to get what they really want. They think impressing someone is enough. They want someone handsome or beautiful in their life to compensate for their own low self-esteem. They glide from one date to another hoping something magical will happen. In other words, they are not dating with the idea to find a partner who can help them grow in their faith.

The most important thing about dating is that one make a concerted effort to find out if there is enough compatibility to sustain a healthy relationship which includes romantic love, excitement, getting along, and a future together. In other words, dating with a purpose is like interviewing someone for the most important role in his or her life as your partner.

This is not always easy. It takes effort, patience, self-discipline and the wisdom of others who have gone through this process themselves and been successful.

Since selecting the right partner is one of the most important things we do in life, I have created a list of things one should look for in a relationship. You can use this as a guide.

1. Honesty that engenders trust;

2. Shared faith;

3. The ability to negotiate or compromise;

4. Self-awareness;

5. Self-esteem;

6. Communication skills;

7. Sexual compatibility;

8. There should be a recognition of the fact that each person had a different childhood experience;

9. Similar (but not necessarily identical) values: This includes such issues as money, monogamy, and parenting;

10. Patience and tolerance;

11. It is important to accept the fact that there will be days when the relationship seems very ordinary or even boring;

12. The willingness to substitute influencing for controlling: Saying something once and then letting it go. Being a role-model instead of nagging someone to change.;

13. Healthy boundaries;

14. Devotion;

15. Quality time together;

16. Knowing when to stay and when to leave;

17. It is also important to have compatibility and “ease” in a relationship: At the same time, it must be understood that no relationship is perfect;

18. The willingness to face your problems (without over-reacting);

19. Reciprocity (give and take);

21. Realistic expectations. After the honeymoon, relationships are not a romantic fantasy;

22. Readiness for a relationship (both partners).

I believe we cannot just start dating and hope that everything will fall in to place. I think we need to be honest from the beginning about what we are looking for and move on if we are not happy.

Ephesians 4:2-3 (LEB)

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, putting up with one another in love,2with all humility and gentleness, with patience, putting up with one another in love,3being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace;3being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace;
Read more: www.biblegateway.com/?search=Ephesians+4%3A2-3…

Filed Under: Devotionals, Susannah's Corner

January 14, 2020 by Susannah

Amazing Shame

“For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame. Romans 10:11

I had a dream about shame a few weeks ago. In this dream I was desperately looking for a place to take a shower. I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t find anything suitable. Finally, I woke up disappointed and feeling a little dirty, so I took a nice warm bath.

That same day, at church, the minister stood up in front of the congregation and practically bellowed, “Have you ever been really dirty and desperate for a shower? . . . And when you find one, doesn’t it feel great to be clean again after being so dirty.” “Well, yes,” I said to myself, “as a matter of fact, just last night. . . .”

The minister went on to talk about the experience of Christ washing away our sins—one of the basic tenets of Christianity. I, of course, had heard this before and began ruminating on the idea of sin and redemption. This led quickly to thoughts about shame, which is bound to sin by virtue of cause and effect.

Within the Christian context, the relationship between sin and shame can be very confusing. On one hand, we are told that Christ died for our sins; therefore, we can relinquish our shame once we repent. But then, some denominations try to shame us into becoming virtuous people. They quote the passage about being perfect. “Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect”. Matthew 5:48. I was also told once by a pastor that even though I was forgiven I should still be ashamed of myself. So which is it? Are we to be ashamed or not?

Before I could sort this out, the congregation started singing “Amazing Grace.” As I listened to the second stanza, “Twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fear relieved,” suddenly it all made sense. Substitute the word “shame” for the word “fear” and you have: “Twas grace that taught my heart to shame and grace my shame relieved.” Shame, it seems is not all bad. Without shame, I cannot see my sin, and with Christ I am relieved of shame’s burden.

This makes even more sense if you understand the difference between “healthy” shame and “toxic” shame. John Bradshaw, who once studied to be a Jesuit priest, points this out in his book “Healing the Shame that Binds You.” He elaborates on the difference between the kind of shame that is corrosive and destructive (shame that leads to depression, anxiety, and apathy) and the kind of shame that engenders modesty, humility, morality, and self-control.

Christ himself made good use of this pairing of healthy and toxic shame. He shamed the stone throwers by telling them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7 RSV). Then he relieved the adulteress of her shame by saying, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? She said, ’No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn [shame] you” (vs. 10). But then Christ offered the woman healthy shame as an incentive to live a virtuous life when he added at the end of his eloquent speech, “Go and do not sin again” (vs. 11).

Of course, my favorite story is about the Samaritan woman at the well. Here Christ used healthy shame to awaken a woman to her sin while at the same time offering her the living water that will wash it away. First he told her the good news: “Every one who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14 RSV). Then he told her why this is good news: “You are right in saying, ’I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband” (vss. 17-19). Of course, the woman leaped at the chance to get rid of her shame and pleaded with him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst.” (vs. 15).

The challenge for us, armed with this new understanding of healthy shame and toxic shame, is to separate the wheat from the chaff. When does shame help us and when is it a hindrance? Here are some of my own ideas.

The past: Agonizing over the past leads to toxic shame. Christ died on the cross for our sins. To cling unnecessarily to our past transgressions requires energy better spent trying to help others. However, an acute awareness of our shortcomings is healthy shame. We must never forget how easy it is to sin.

Our bodies: Shame about how we look is toxic. We must always see ourselves through God’s eyes. He made us, after all. At the same time, a little shame about what we put into our bodies is healthy. Nutrition is good; addiction is bad. Too much sugar now and then is not the end of the world.

Our potential: Shame about what we can’t do is toxic. If I am not a genius, so be it. If I can’t climb Mount Everest that’s okay. If I am disabled in any way, there is no point in me beating up on myself. However, a little healthy shame about what we can do keeps us humble.

Money: Shame about being poor is toxic. Shame about being financially comfortable makes it easier to share with others.

Original sin: This can be toxic or healthy shame. It is toxic if it becomes an excuse to give up on ourselves. It can be healthy if it is understood as something we all share—the propensity to sin.

Family: The sins of our “fathers”—past and present—can be palpable. However, feeling guilty for what our mothers and fathers did is toxic shame. Learning from their mistakes is healthy shame.

Sex: Healthy shame about sex is important. Nothing can be more destructive than aberrant sexual behavior. However, sex is nothing to be ashamed of in the context of a healthy marriage.

Education: Feeling bad about a lack of formal education is toxic shame. Feeling a little healthy shame, however, may inspire us to search for knowledge and wisdom in a context within which we feel comfortable.

Jobs: Some of us have what the world likes to describe as “menial” jobs. Toxic shame makes us feel bad about this. Healthy shame encourages us to look for something more stimulating. The trick is to love what we do—and ourselves for doing it—while aspiring to find work that will help us realize our full potential. For example, I may be “just” a secretary, but I find time to write poetry, which is my soul work.

How we treat others: Being less than cordial at times is part of the human condition. Toxic shame never lets us forgive ourselves. Healthy shame reminds us to do it less often.

Perfectionism: Toxic shame makes us feel terrible because we are not perfect. Healthy shame reminds us that we can do better. Paul knew a lot about this. Always remember, only God is perfect and we all live in the shadow of that perfection. We are, you might say, perfectly imperfect.

So here we have it—the shame that can destroy our spirit and the shame that can keep us on the right path. May we all come to terms with them both through our faith in Jesus Christ.

Matthew 5:48 (LEB)

Therefore you be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.48Therefore you be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Read more: www.biblegateway.com/?search=Matthew+5%3A48…

John 4:13-14 (LEB)

Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again.13Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again.14But whoever drinks of this water which I will give to him will never be thirsty for eternity, but the water which I will give to him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”14But whoever drinks of this water which I will give to him will never be thirsty for eternity, but the water which I will give to him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”
Read more: www.biblegateway.com/?search=John+4%3A13-14…

John 8:7 (LEB)

And when they persisted in asking him, straightening up he saidSome manuscripts have “he straightened up and said” to them, “The one of you without sin, let him throw the first stone at her!”7And when they persisted in asking him, straightening up he saidSome manuscripts have “he straightened up and said” to them, “The one of you without sin, let him throw the first stone at her!”
Read more: www.biblegateway.com/?search=John+8%3A7…

Filed Under: Devotionals, Susannah's Corner

January 14, 2020 by Susannah

Amazing Shame

Filed Under: Devotionals, Susannah's Corner

January 11, 2020 by for_his_glory

Never Judge a Book by it’s Cover

Never Judge a Book by it’s Cover
Written by for_his_glory

Do you feel like there is no hope for you just because of what others actions are towards you? Do you feel like a failure because you can not live up to others expectations? Sadly there are many that feel this way because of the laws of society that condemns a person for the way they live their lives. Like the old saying goes, walk a mile in another mans shoes and you will see where he came from. Lifestyles are only handed down from a generational parenthood that only reflects on the outside of a person to what we perceive them to be on the inside. Never judge a book by its cover.

The Gentiles were a people of a very pagan nation who were separate from the commonwealth of Israel. They had their own godly idols envisioned and crafted by the hands of man that they would bow down to and worship. The Gentiles were considered a heathen nation by the Jews and not worthy of those things of Gods Spirit according to their laws.

Peter was called of God to go and preach before this Gentile nation, but because of the traditions of the Jewish law he was bound by the law to not talk to other nations, but God showed him in a dream that what God made clean others should not despise. There were certain Gentiles that knew God and worshiped him in secret for fear of punishment from their own government, but called on God to send a witness to their nation to draw them all back to his grace and as many that heard the witness of Peter the Holy Spirit also fell on those Gentiles.

It truly does not matter who you are or where you come from as God has no boundaries when it comes to those he calls by his name who will heed his call and the diversity of his gifts given by the Holy Spirit are also boundless to all who are called into his ministry. There are different gifts, but only one purpose and that is that we are all drawn together as one body of Christ by the Holy Spirit working those gifts in us and through us to reach out to others through the name of Jesus. We are one in the Spirit, one in Christ lifting up and edifying one another no matter the nation you are from.

Filed Under: Devotionals

January 8, 2020 by hldude

Lord, Teach Us The Brevity Of Life

“Lord, Teach Us The Brevity Of Life”

Psalm 90:12 NLT

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.

I think we would all completely agree that we want to grow in wisdom each and every day.  I think it would be safe to say that we also agree that we should realize more that our time here on earth is not guaranteed from day to day.  However, the way we live our lives often shows that we just expect each day to come like it always does. 

As this new year begins, I think about this passage and how I need for God to make me realize the precious moments of life and to understand that each day is a gift and that I’m not promised tomorrow.  I need to make the most of each day and not waste the moments God gives me. 

Lord, teach me to realize the importance of the moments with my spouse.

Lord, teach me to realize the importance of the times I have with my kids.

Lord, teach me to realize the importance of the opportunities I have with my co-workers.

Lord, teach me to realize the importance of the moments with my friends.

Lord, teach me to realize the importance of unexpected moments of witnessing to people I don’t know.

Lord, teach me to realize that life is not about me and I need to focus on blessing others.

Lord, teach me to realize that each day is a gift from you and I need to do my best to make the most of the time I have.

As this new year continues, I encourage all of us to make the most of the opportunities each day that God gives us.  It is easy to get busy with our schedules and forget about the fact that we are not promised tomorrow.  God has given us today and He wants us to grow in wisdom as we learn to take advantage of the moments He gives us to bless others. 

I know that I definitely need to realize the brevity of life!  I get so focused on my own agenda often and forget that I need to stop and make the most of the moments God gives me with other people. 

Lord, teach us the brevity of life.

Weekly Devotional Blog Site www.zwdevotions.com

Filed Under: Devotionals

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