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Gordon

Gordon

Member
After my baptism God wanted me to know how He loves me. His heart breaks when those that belong to him doubt. He doesn't forget or forsake He saves. I thought I belong to God but what about a wife and kids, an understanding of my past, for things to make sense. Why should there be an and was my answer. I belong to Jesus Christ.
 
I have doubted that at times. I sense the joy of the lord upon this revalation. sorry if it seems that im not estactic. I made the mistake of listen to plumb's cut. its rather vexing if you read the lyrics to that.
 
Yhea man I noticed you talking about going through a rough time. For the first time I really get that I belong to Christ and what that means. I doubted God's love and that I was His and He was hurt and went looking for me. I was really messed up but God only saw me as His.
 
what God is doing is reconstructing me to his nature.He by his word is removing all that is built upon sin and untruths. Hurts must go. I have some things I asked him to do years ago that I forget but he didn't.for years the devil told me lies and believed them. when I was posting here I was listening to the devil at times and having a pity party at times. I had to remind myself and also be reminded by the word that God is my source.

its time to open up about my thoughts of suicide and why I pondered it.
 
Sorry to hear it got that bad. I just get this feeling like a relationship with God is this one sided thing with you. Like you are His trophy or something. No one was more concerned about what you were going through than Jesus. Don't stop posting man if you get that down again. There are some really strong Christians here.
 
Its not that way. its hard to see that at times. old hurts I thought I dealt with but I didn't. I based my identity in work and things and so forth rather then God. God allowed that falter and brought me back theres hurts and things that I don't like to have said to me that I have to work on not going into a self hate mode when I hear it.
 
I've been there too. I think the most important step in healing is to understand deeply Jesus loves you. That's why I wanted to share this. I hope you share about what you are dealing with.
 
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