My sister told me once about a friend of her husband's. He was a Christian guy that went to a bar and fell in love with a prostitute there. She became a Christian, and they married and were very happy. But i think it is rare..
I think that entering into a relationship, especially marrying a non Christian, is really making it hard for yourself. Life is hard enough.. marriage is hard enough and then life is so stressful, even when both are compatible and Christians. How even harder is it going to be having a relationship with a non Christian with such a different lifestyle and viewpoint, and then how are you going to rear the children?
I know of a dear friend that was a Catholic. She went out with a Christian man and they had fights because he didn't want to go to her Catholic church because he believed it preached false doctrine. They broke up over it, and she ended up marrying a non-Christian non -Catholic. It didn't surprise me, actually.. But anyways, he didn't want to go to church with her (no better scenario than the 1st) and so she started going by herself. Then she had a child, and then she kind of stopped going to church because she didn't want to go alone, and it just seemed too much effort to bundle up her child and take him and take care of him all by herself.. I don't know how it went and how her marriage is now as I lost contact with her since, as she was a co-worker. But I am sure, she was not living the best life God was recommending for her. As the Word of God says, most importantly, God is advising us that we should not be unequally yoked, as if the other person is not sealed in Christ, then essentially satan is their master, whether they know it or not. I heard recently, though, that the divorce rate for Christians is shockingly high nowadays and really no better than non Christians.
You are right your wife's Salvation is in His hands. However, with much respect to you, I would check yourself, dear sir... I very much love someone currently, who I have chosen not to be with, because he is not a Christian. I try to be the best example of a Christian to him, with God's help that I can, and I have been witnessing to him and praying for him everyday. I love him and I love his soul , and naturally I want him to be saved, so I do my best with the power of the Holy Spirit within me and do what God has given me responsibility for. God has called us to share the love of Jesus and spread the good news of the gospel to everyone. With the Holy Spirit indwelling inside us, we are vessels where people can see we are different, and it is not hard to emulate the fruits of the spirit. We are new creatures and we are saved FOR works (not because of works). I think if one has the realization of how horrible hell is, those that we love will be very much on our hearts. The penalty of sin is death -- eternal condemnation in hell, separated from God forever. I cannot bear to think of my loved one going there. I cannot force him, that is between Him and God, as God gives us faith , but I can do as much as God gives me the responsibility to do.