There was a time long ago where I completely believed I was so lost in my sin nature, that I trusted the power of Jesus to make me whole. In fact I held fast to that opinion for over 15 year's. But every day that ticked by without a resolution just reinforced the truth that nothing was going to happen, and in the end nothing ever did.
It got to the point that I was so desperate to win the war against my sin's, that the only reason I could come up with why I was losing the battle, was because I'd just sin again. But that in itself was groundless, because any legitimate healing is evidence that Jesus had actually accomplished something.
And I was left to carry on as I was, fighting for freedom from sin myself, always believing it was for Jesus. Because that's all I could do when God can heal me, but doesn't every day another day that end's up another day without an ultimate resolution.
Hi and welcome.
I don't know you nor your circumstances, so please forgive me if I miss the mark here as I don't have much to go on other than what you've written above.
It seems to me that you've got this idea that God is going to heal you. Now, I don't know if that's a physical healing or an emotional healing. Regardless, you mentioned that you were fighting a war that you cannot win and somehow that ties into losing your faith.
I understand because at one time, I've felt similar feelings. What I can say is this. You can't win the war. Not because your not good enough, but because the war has already been won and it was never your war to begin with. Of course, I'm talking about having a relationship with our Lord and Savior.
But we still have sin in our lives and this world doesn't live up to our hopes and dreams and it's pretty good at crushing them and we're left lonely and hurting as we wage wars in our own minds, much like you described with your daughter after drinking several beers.
You already know this, but beer won't solve your problems. It may numb the pain that's inside you, but in the long run, alcohol becomes the creator of much of the pain it's trying to mask. In short, if your going to drink, only drink on festive occasions and in moderation. Never drink because your bored or if your trying to shake a bad day. It doesn't work and only causes more pain which requires more alcohol until it eventually spins out of control.
Many people misunderstand grace. We deserve grace because God loves us. Grace doesn't mean we're not accountable for our sin nor does grace grant a licence for sin. Rather, grace calls out sin as an opportunity for repentance. You see, grace says yeah, you screwed up, but I'm with you and together, we can make this right. Your not alone.
Repentance isn't just feeling bad about something you did which many pastors preach and many Christians buy into. You see, feeling bad about something is called remorse and that's what drove Judas to hang himself after he realized the magnitude of his sin. Gods not looking for remorse instead, he's looking for transformation which frees you from remorse and the sins you've committed and will continue to make. In other words, repentance is about acknowledging your sins, and changing your thoughts and behaviors away from self-deprecation and it's something God will do with you.
Sometimes it's a slow process, but it just may be slow so we can learn what grace is because when we understand how God is extending grace to us, we can extend grace to others.
I don't know what issues your having with your daughter, but learn to extend grace speaking the truth in love and never lose your hope.
