Guidance in being a submissive wife.

[PLFern]

Dear Sister PLFern, thank you for your reply and questions. God is indeed working in you to will, and to do of His good pleasure (Php 2:13).

I will first reveal the woman being spoken of in Eph 5:22 is not only a perfect recipe for good marriages which many suppose to making the wife a slave as it were to her husband; no, a wife and husband have become one and the same love we are shown by God to us is relevant between us. Eph 5:21 makes this more clear: Submitting yourselves one to another . . .

The woman here is the bride of Christ, and her husband the picture of Christ. A key: as unto the Lord.

I will give you an URL link here that is a good study, and when you get there simply do a search (Ctrl F) for the word “Submitting” and read down a couple pages. I hope it helps you and we can progress from there.
http://www.gracegod.com/Study Books/Ephesians - Exaltation of the Sons of God.pdf

A dear brother Gene Hawkins gave the following Marriage Seminar which I transcribed from CD’s I’ll give excerpts from here.

"If you put it down in a very practical and simple manner, the wife must be subject to the headship of her husband, and the husband must be subject to the needs of his wife.

Now the first thing I want to notice is that as Paul will tell us here in (Eph. 5:25), "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" We know that the marriage relationship is typical, or it is the same as the relationship between Christ and His people; Christ and the body. The difference is this, we know that Jesus is never going to fail or default on His role as the head, but we as husbands have to recognize that we can be miserable failures in our role as being head to our wives. Though Jesus does not fail or default, never does Jesus come down and demand that we be in subjection to Him. So in that sense of the word with us as Christians, if Jesus is going to be the head in my life, I'm going to have to willingly surrender it to Him.

The first thing that we must realize is that a head is not a dictator, and this is what you find so often in Christian circles today. It has been so misused and abused that when a woman says that she is to be in subjection, the entire community goes berserk and it is because they do not understand what headship means. Headship? Both wives and husbands must realize, and get it in our heads that headship doesn't mean dictatorship. The position of a head is actually a position of loving ministry."

If these things set off alarms please let me know. Love in Christ Jesus.

I really like the way you have explained this and the resources/scripture you have provided. In your marriage how do you find this relationship with your wife benefits from these roles? I tend to be stubborn, though I am becoming decreasingly so the more I pray and study scripture and communicate with my husband.

 

[Eugene]

I really like the way you have explained this and the resources/scripture you have provided. In your marriage how do you find this relationship with your wife benefits from these roles? I tend to be stubborn, though I am becoming decreasingly so the more I pray and study scripture and communicate with my husband.

Hi again. I would say that when we both follow the Lord's leading we can do nothing other than just love one another deeper. Now over the years we have both offended the other a multiple of times compromising our marriage severely, and it took the grace of God which is available to us in Christ if we reach out and just take it. I have always found the sufferings we experience even in marriage drawing me closer to God as needs increase.

I'll say right off due to your admissions of want in your lives, seeking reconciliation is of utmost importance. If I'm correct your husband also wants that, and I know our Father does. Your communication will do untold profit, and praying together will allow desire and who you really are to become know unto your husband. We men need many clues sometimes. Now God knows our need and wants before we ask, but many times we really don't until we begin communicating with Him.
Heb 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

As you continue in subjection to God, and learn of Him your life should begin taking on changes manifest you were formerly unaware as existing. Last but not least is the love expanded, peace experienced, and the overall joy of living the way God wants you to.

 

[th1b.taylor]

no, a wife and husband have become one and the same love we are shown by God to us is relevant between us. Eph 5:21 makes this more clear: Submitting yourselves one to another . . .

The recipe for 110% effort from both parties, Eugene is good here, better than I.

 

[rat19]

@ the original post:
Well, it sounds like you are afraid of embracing your Christian beliefs, mostly. What will be left for you or left of your former self? Letting go of many past unhealthy patterns, etc.. That is something I think everyone who becomes Christian has to come to terms with. I find it helps to remind yourself that the direction you're heading in will actually be better, and it's also the only good option. Then put fourth the effort to make it better. Make your marriage better, make your social life at church better...
There are still alot of things you can do with your life anyway, you aren't a slave.
Generally speaking, whenever I've struggled with accepting something in the scripture, I was able to accept it once I: 1: fully understood the scriptures (a wrong interpretation of scripture can be a big problem) 2: realized how much better it really is to follow the scripture and live correctly, and that it's really there to help you.
Also, you should realize that Christianity is not about condemnation, the way you talk about paying for the past through penance. And you don't want that mentality within yourself or your relationships. That is the whole point of the religion, Jesus gave the penance. Christianity is a positive message, it's about coming out of the problems and leaving the problems behind... moving forward with optimism. Letting go of the sin, letting it die. When you're punishing yourself, you must still be stuck in the patterns of the problems on some level. So I find that it really helps to come out of problems if you can realize that you truly are forgiven, the crime is forgotten (as long as it's over with), and that you simply have to come out of it. You probably want your husband to realize & accept that also, so that there is no negative judgment between both of you. In this respect, something that helps is to talk very openly and honestly about the problems with a mutual understanding that you are letting the problems die thanks to Jesus. So you could try that also. It does say "shout your crimes over the rooftops" or whatever the exact phrase is.

 

[Steve K. Orsini]

There is no ugliness in you my dear! Since you want nothing but the best for your husband and such a person cannot be bad at all! Just take time and make a wise decision!