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How Are We Supposed to Do This?

HeIsRisen2018

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There are two things that I was studying in my Bible today where I'm not sure what they mean.

1. Women are supposed to submit to and obey their husbands.

2. Men are supposed to love their wives even as Christ loved the church.



Now I am an engaged woman myself and as much as I love my fiancee I am not just going to let him order me around all the time and what does it mean that he's supposed to love me like Christ loved us? Does that mean he would have to be willing to die on a cross for me? I have little to almost no doubt that he would, but can somebody please explain these things to me? :thinking
 

Edward

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Try reading proverbs 31 and you either believe it or you don't.

and yes, he is supposed to be willing to die for you. When I was married, I thought it through and figured that I should defend my wife unto death if need be...even if she were wrong. I figured, first things first. We can talk about it later to set her straight but in the meantime deal with the situation...

Praise God that it never came to that. :)
 

medievalglo

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To me it means Men have the God appointed role of being the leader in the family. You work together as a team still, but when it comes to the final decisions, the husband takes into consideration the insights, needs, feelings (hopefully) of the wife, and family, and makes the final decision in matters. It doesn't mean wife waits on hubby hand and foot to meet every whim he has, or visa versa. When asked to do something by husband, I do think we need to try and do the request, and yes, obey when asked to, esp in times of danger.

Men, even with strong willed women, :) still need to be the leader. It can be done with love and being insistent on matters (in assertiveness I think it's called "being a broken-record..."). It comes across MUCH better when done in love rather than arguments to "be right". I also believe if the man isn't following God's heart, or teachings, that it is better for women to "obey God rather than man"..... Even that needs to be done in love. So many times, I do feel sorry for the guys that they have so much on their plate, earning money, when the demands for money these days are so high. I know they want to come home and "just rest" and unwind. I've been out to work on more than once after marriage, then come home, and have to do more, so I get that. We still need relationship, though, all of us. We. in love, need to look for how to minister to our loved ones so they feel cared for.
 

JohnDB

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It's a give-give scenario...
Wives give the leadership to their husbands... husband's don't demand the leadership role.
Husbands love their wives (provision and etc) and only lead to good places.
 

WIP

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To me it means Men have the God appointed role of being the leader in the family. You work together as a team still, but when it comes to the final decisions, the husband takes into consideration the insights, needs, feelings (hopefully) of the wife, and family, and makes the final decision in matters.
To the part I put in bold text. Someone once told me the best leader is someone who is not willing to send anyone where he himself is not willing to go. Then I think of Jesus and when He said, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." (Matthew 16:24 NKJV) Then He told His disciples they would drink from the cup He drank from and they were martyred. He led exactly where He asks us to go.
 

Nathan12

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I am not just going to let him order me around all the time...
No it does not mean that. But it does mean that whenever a critical decision has to be made and you are in disagreement, you must allow him to do what is best. And if he makes a mistake, then he is accountable.

And just to remind he that he has to die on the cross for you, make one with his name engraved on it, and hand it to him without a word.
 

JohnDB

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Try reading proverbs 31 and you either believe it or you don't.

and yes, he is supposed to be willing to die for you. When I was married, I thought it through and figured that I should defend my wife unto death if need be...even if she were wrong. I figured, first things first. We can talk about it later to set her straight but in the meantime deal with the situation...

Praise God that it never came to that. :)
Proverbs 31 is a description of the Bride of Christ.
 

HeIsRisen2018

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Try reading proverbs 31 and you either believe it or you don't.

and yes, he is supposed to be willing to die for you. When I was married, I thought it through and figured that I should defend my wife unto death if need be...even if she were wrong. I figured, first things first. We can talk about it later to set her straight but in the meantime deal with the situation...

Praise God that it never came to that. :)



I already looked at that but I didn't understand it much. After I post a few things on here I will go search for it in my Message Bible. I understand what other people have been saying though. When times are tough wives should trust their husbands to do what they believe is best for them.
 

Edward

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Proverbs 31 is a description of the Bride of Christ.
That is not incorrect. It is however, incomplete. It is a jumping off point to understanding.. Where shall I start, to take it more towards completeness? The entire scriptures breaks it down for us.

Ephesians 5:25-33? A summary of man's duty to his Wife. With the last line of that to all of mankind who aspire to be the Bride of Christ...(see that we all reverence the Bridegroom, i.e., God, Jesus Christ...)

I can easily take this much further, but for a lack of time with work awaiting am consigned to stop here for now.

Life on earth is a dry run learning experience for us with living demonstrations of our duties to (God) and each other...some scriptures spoken towards our wives (women, Proverbs 31) and others to men men as a Bride them self. So not only is Proverbs 31 instructions to women, but also instructions to men as unto our Lord!

Right?!

This goes soo deep!
 

for_his_glory

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Gods will for woman was to be a helpmate to the man in every way, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially and physically. She was also created to bare the generations to come. A woman was not greater or less than the man, but was his equal.

Ephesians 5:22-29 wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the spiritual head of the wife. Man is the provider and protector of his family. Husbands, you are to love your wives like Christ loves his church. This is an unconditional love that looks on the inside of a person and not the adorning of the outside. It is a love with a pure heart.

A woman is not a slave to her husband and husband need not act like they are. When it comes to family matters within the household the man needs to be in charge as being the Spiritual head of the family. He is to make good decisions for the family as he seeks God's guidance. As a woman we need to trust in our husband and the decisions he makes. It doesn't mean a woman has no voice in some matters as many family things need to be discussed as giving insight, but yet all things need to be of Spiritual guidance that keeps the family in God's will for their well being.
 

JohnDB

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That is not incorrect. It is however, incomplete. It is a jumping off point to understanding.. Where shall I start, to take it more towards completeness? The entire scriptures breaks it down for us.

Ephesians 5:25-33? A summary of man's duty to his Wife. With the last line of that to all of mankind who aspire to be the Bride of Christ...(see that we all reverence the Bridegroom, i.e., God, Jesus Christ...)

I can easily take this much further, but for a lack of time with work awaiting am consigned to stop here for now.

Life on earth is a dry run learning experience for us with living demonstrations of our duties to (God) and each other...some scriptures spoken towards our wives (women, Proverbs 31) and others to men men as a Bride them self. So not only is Proverbs 31 instructions to women, but also instructions to men as unto our Lord!

Right?!

This goes soo deep!
My thoughts was that if any wife tried to accomplish all that's in that list they would die of exhaustion...it's a fairly long and labor intensive list.

And not every wife has all those skills nor does every husband wish for his wife to do all those things...
And they ain't bad wives either.

But it would make for a great euphamism for all the activities that a normal, healthy church does.
 

medievalglo

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if any wife tried to accomplish all that's in that list they would die of exhaustion...it's a fairly long and labor intensive list.
Hallelujah!!! Yeah, with that list, I knew I was doomed to fail it!! I praise God that with HIS help, the whole body of Christ CAN accomplish that, though, each person playing their part!! :biggrin
 

Luminous_Rose

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There are two things that I was studying in my Bible today where I'm not sure what they mean.

1. Women are supposed to submit to and obey their husbands.

2. Men are supposed to love their wives even as Christ loved the church.



Now I am an engaged woman myself and as much as I love my fiancee I am not just going to let him order me around all the time and what does it mean that he's supposed to love me like Christ loved us? Does that mean he would have to be willing to die on a cross for me? I have little to almost no doubt that he would, but can somebody please explain these things to me? :thinking
I know this is older and I have not posted a lot lately. I can tell you a story that can add some insight to your first point of submission. I remember, when I was newly wed I was not into the whole get a job or do housework type of gal. I wanted to sit around...maybe do a load of laundry when I had to, but fell into a dangerous trap. My husband, tired from full-time school and full-time job to support us constantly came home to chores unfinished and no food made. He became upset after this became routine and he was picking up the slack. I said to him, "I am not your slave!" It was hurtful on both sides saying such a thing so I did remember this verse and sought to analyze it. While I did shape up my act and helped with chores at home and meals while he worked, I learned a valuable lesson and that marries couples really are a team.

The man does take the leadership role amd should be treating you right. Respect should run on both sides and this helps a team run smoothly. A leader and someone beside that leader needs to be a support. This helps things run smoothly (and putting God in the center always). Think of a wife's role as being a support role to help, uplift, encourage, and stick beside important decisions the both of you make. This does not mean your man can order you around, be rude, or tell you how to eat. It is also knowing when to trust your husband's decision in something (is it according to God's word? Is this the right thing to do?). Neither one of you are slaves to each other, you are two unique people, and both differently made by God. There will be disagreements, but these make or break our marriage. Putting God in the center always allows us to consult Him and His word for the best answers for our situation(s).

Your husband should be willing to protect you at any cost. Christ died for us all because he loved us...not for any other reason...only love. Refer to 1 Corinthians 13 to the definition of pure, perfect love. That is the love Christ had for us all.
 

Nathan12

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...I am not just going to let him order me around all the time...
That's not the idea. However the husband gets to have the final say in any decision, and genuine submission means gracefully accepting that and moving on. The Bible says that rebellion is similar to witchcraft.
 

Who Me

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Turn it around. How is a husband to love his wife as Jesus loves the church?

If your husband loves you in that much, is he really going to order you around?
Do you really have a problem with obeying someone who loves you enough to always put you first?
 

HeIsRisen2018

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Turn it around. How is a husband to love his wife as Jesus loves the church?

If your husband loves you in that much, is he really going to order you around?
Do you really have a problem with obeying someone who loves you enough to always put you first?

No of course not. :)
 

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