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I'm doomed

kiwidan

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As a individual who acknowledges the Most High and trusts Jesus Christ I have a situation.

I had a meaningful overnight relationship with someone and im not worried or care about that situation because I know all God cares about is the heart of man, but my heart is not commited and I don't want a relationship or commitment. So in Gods eyes that is divorce.

Im a sinner because my heart is not committed.
 
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JohnDB

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As a individual who acknowledges the Most High and trusts Jesus Christ I have a situation.

I had a meaningful overnight relationship with someone and im not worried or care about that situation because I know all God cares about is the heart of man, but my heart is not commited and I don't want a relationship or commitment. So in Gods eyes that is divorce.

I should have known this from my past because as soon as you get intimate with a woman they automatically fall in lust with you and can't get enough of you and want more . That's just how females work.

I'm doomed. I jumped in too quick and I don't want to be with her but she's all into me now. But if I split then God will be angry. God is already angry because he knows my heart and im not committed. Im a sinner, not because of what I did, but because my heart is not committed.
It's not marriage, it's called fornication. You have named it the wrong sin.

And that's the trouble with sin...you commit it but everyone else pays the price for it... including yourself.

But if I may...

What is wrong with this woman that you don't like or want to have a relationship with her?
 

kiwidan

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But if I may...

What is wrong with this woman that you don't like or want to have a relationship with her?
I think it's just me as im a very independent person and im afraid of commitment. I prefer friendship.

I'm not really that attracted to her but I think she's a cool person and we get along well. I like her.
 
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kiwidan

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It's just me. God told me to stop being a egg.
 
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JohnDB

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You know...
Thinking about this and my days as a single man.
First impressions are never correct.
Everyone is nervous, no one is themselves, and the desire/pressure for everything to go well is insane.
Everyone goes into a "first date/meeting" with hopes and dreams and expectations that are somewhat skewed unless you have done this too much...and then all you find is disappointment and a callous heart.

And for a man of your years it's going to be difficult for you. As you age even more so.

The men become the hunted instead of the hunter.

So....
Maybe meet up in public places. Don't go anywhere with enough privacy that clothing can become misplaced.
It's good to have friends that you have a lot in common with... people to care for. People to practice giving of yourself to... even when they irritate/annoy you.

Somewhere out there someone is going to like you for you...not the idea of you...but really you. All your faults and your goodies included. They will understand your wants and needs almost psychically.

A good friend is one you can call at 2am for bail money...a great friend is one who shares the bench in your cell.
 

kiwidan

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So....
Maybe meet up in public places. Don't go anywhere with enough privacy that clothing can become misplaced.
Too late, we went the beach today and she invited me over for dinner and I'm not turning down a woman who wants to cook me a feed, so im at her house for the night. :biggrin2
 

HeIsRisen2018

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Okay...
I'm not sure what that particular expression means...
I know what a spoon is but not an egg.






Well, I know for me it means that I'm quite the little crackup lol! :lol
 

kiwidan

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I actually enjoy spending time with her and like to see her, yet at the same time afraid of commitment and don't want it because women go crazy.
 
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Luminous_Rose

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Too late, we went the beach today and she invited me over for dinner and I'm not turning down a woman who wants to cook me a feed, so im at her house for the night. :biggrin2
So, let me see if I have this right. You say you are doomed and have by your own admission admitted your sin, although I agree with John that fornication is the correct word. However, you are placing yourself in temptation's path while it is coming straight towards you? This does not make sense. You have a choice here - continue fornicating even though you full well know you don't want a lifetime with this woman and anger God OR you can not put yourself or her in a compromising situation again.


By accepting her dinner invitation you are saying, "All is well. Things are going great." You are not doing any favors leading her on. You should say you want to be friends and have no intention of marriage. Yes, she will probably hurt, but this is the truth.

Although, if you can work it out and end up married, even more power to you! Talk with her through what happened and see her feelings, too. I mean, she even cooks for you - she doesn't seem too terrible. She wants to impress you.
 

kiwidan

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When it comes to companionship and getting along I like this woman but there is one thing. I'm not too judgemental but thee is one thing that really turns me off, it's when she talks and smiles because she has some missing and rotting teeth it's just really not cool and I just don't find her attractive because of that, I understand no one is perfect and we all have flaws, but this is just too unattractive for me. Something like teeth is the most important when it comes to attraction, you have to want to kiss your partner , and like your partner when they laugh and you laugh, not be put off everytime they talk and smile. It's women's beauty and attraction.
 
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lisa-in-FL

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When it comes to companionship and getting along I like this woman but there is one thing. I'm not too judgemental but thee is one thing that really turns me off, it's when she talks and smiles because she has some missing and rotting teeth it's just really not cool and I just don't find her attractive because of that, I understand no one is perfect and we all have flaws, but this is just too unattractive for me. Something like teeth is the most important when it comes to attraction, you have to want to kiss your partner , and like your partner when they laugh and you laugh, not be put off everytime they talk and smile. It's women's beauty and attraction.

She even said to me why she doesn't smile in photos because of her teeth so she is self conscious of it and wants to fix them when she can afford it. I mean if I'm going to have a relationship with her they must be done, she would look really attractive if they were bridged and fixed she has a nice face, nice hair, and nice eyes. I know it sounds really mean but it's a complete turn off and I need to find my partner attractive who does not look like a crack addict even she is very anti-drugs.
I don't even know where to start . . . but here goes.

You shouldn't be leading this woman on. Letting her cook for you and spend her days and nights with you is going to make her think you are interested in "getting serious" with her. I put that in " marks because those things used to be what people did after they got serious about each other, not before.

When the Bible warns against fornication, its not because God is a buzz kill. It is so you avoid potential complications and hurting people that could in turn hurt your testimony for Christ.

Instead of being so focused on her teeth, her cooking or her bed, what about her soul? Is she saved?
 

kiwidan

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I don't even know where to start . . . but here goes.

You shouldn't be leading this woman on. Letting her cook for you and spend her days and nights with you is going to make her think you are interested in "getting serious" with her. I put that in " marks because those things used to be what people did after they got serious about each other, not before.

When the Bible warns against fornication, its not because God is a buzz kill. It is so you avoid potential complications and hurting people that could in turn hurt your testimony for Christ.

Instead of being so focused on her teeth, her cooking or her bed, what about her soul? Is she saved?
I am not leading her on. I told where I stand at the moment I don't want a relationship right now and she knows that and is ok with that. We both agreed we are just friends and will see what happens. We just getting to know each other and hang out together. If she wants to continue to cook me dinner, give me a massage, and bring me my morning coffee that's cool. I appreciate it.
 
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lisa-in-FL

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I am not leading her on. I told where I stand at the moment I don't want a relationship right now and she knows that and is ok with that. We both agreed we are just friends and will see what happens. We just getting to know each other and hang out together. If she wants to continue to cook me dinner, give me a massage, and bring me my morning coffee that's cool. I appreciate it.
If its all on the up and up, then why did you post about it? You feel some guilt but are rationalizing it away. That list seems awfully one-sided.

And you ignored my question. Is she saved? Have you told her what you believe?
 

Luminous_Rose

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I am not leading her on. I told where I stand at the moment I don't want a relationship right now and she knows that and is ok with that. We both agreed we are just friends and will see what happens. We just getting to know each other and hang out together. If she wants to continue to cook me dinner, give me a massage, and bring me my morning coffee that's cool. I appreciate it.
It is good that you talked about this with her. It seems odd that she is okay being just friends after that, but that is me. Cooking you dinner, giving you a massage, and bringing you your morning coffee all in conjunction sounds like a romantic interest and not so much "just a friend", but that is the impression I get.

Many women do these things in hopes you will be fully interested and committed. They figure, "Okay, we will be friends until I can convince you we are so much more." So a woman that keeps cooking you dinner, giving massages, and bringing you your morning coffee has you on their mind quite a lot of the time.

So yes, you are leading her on because you are accepting her nice gestures and not showing any disinterest toward her.

I am sure if she saw what you wrote about her cosmetic appearance she would have been hurt. Not everyone chooses to have poor dental health - some of it can be medication or accident caused. So if she never "fixed it" I assume you wouldn't ever be interested? That hurts. If you absolutely loved her, her cosmetic appearance would not matter. I would still love my husband even if all his teeth rotted and fell out or even if he didn't look like the same man tomorrow. Love see's past a lot of those things.

You know, I am not you or her, but that isthe impression I am getting.

If fornication happened once, it is more likely to happen again if the setting is right. Why risk that?
 

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