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I'm doomed

HeIsRisen2018

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I see both sides of the coin actually, but let's not forget that none of us are there and none of us knows the complete situation.
 

kiwidan

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I thought it was called friends with benefits. When you both agree there is no relationship commitment yet enjoy each other's company and companionship.
 

kiwidan

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And about her teeth, she is the one who talked about it and knows it, I just concur.
If I was that judgemental and thats all I cared about I wouldn't hang out with her or be friends with her. She is a nice person on the inside, she has a nice face, nice eyes, and nice hair. I can compliment.
 
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lisa-in-FL

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I thought it was called friends with benefits. When you both agree there is no relationship commitment yet enjoy each other's company and companionship.
Yes, its been around since the beginning of time and is aka fornication.
And, generally speaking, one person will inevitably "catch feelings" for the other person and stay in this terrible arrangement in the hopes that the other person will realize they feel the same way.
Do you do the dishes? Reciprocate the massages? Take out her trash? Help out around the house?
Is there something about your physical appearance that she might be trying to overlook?

And again, do you care about this friend enough to tell her about Christ?
 

lisa-in-FL

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I know it all feels good right now but 2 months, 6 months, or a year down the road is she going to be warning her friends not to get involved with Christian men because they are no different every other man and deciding that she'd never bother with church or the Bible after being used by a professing Christian.

You're supposed to be an ambassador for Christ, not trying to blend in with the rest of the fallen world.
 

kiwidan

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Yes, its been around since the beginning of time and is aka fornication.
And, generally speaking, one person will inevitably "catch feelings" for the other person and stay in this terrible arrangement in the hopes that the other person will realize they feel the same way.
Do you do the dishes? Reciprocate the massages? Take out her trash? Help out around the house?
Is there something about your physical appearance that she might be trying to overlook?

And again, do you care about this friend enough to tell her about Christ?
God married Adam and Eve not a human being. In my opinion if someone's heart is for long term and they hook up they are married in God's eyes, and there are 3 that are witness. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
 
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HeIsRisen2018

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God married Adam and Eve not a human being. In my opinion if someone's heart is for long term and they hook up they are married in God's eyes, and there are 3 that are witness. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.


I sinned because my heart was not commited first and I don't want to divorce in God's eyes and double sin because in God's eyes we are married. You don't just split like a one night stand gap it like many dudes do. I'm going to stay. I sinned and now I have to commit because in God's eyes we are married, and I also like her.

The problem is me, I'm scared of commitment being single and independent for so long so i look for excuses, like teeth, that's how severe my case is. I like her and she has a good heart and we get along and I am comfortable with her, but I need to overcome the fear of commitment and stop making excuses, as God told me to stop being a egg.

And yes I help out around the place. I do the dishes and take out the trash, I moved a trailer load of concrete bricks for her yesterday. I'm not a lazy bludger.






I actually agree with you one hundred percent on your thoughts on marriage.
 

kiwidan

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I know it all feels good right now but 2 months, 6 months, or a year down the road is she going to be warning her friends not to get involved with Christian men because they are no different every other man and deciding that she'd never bother with church or the Bible after being used by a professing Christian.

You're supposed to be an ambassador for Christ, not trying to blend in with the rest of the fallen world.
Christianity already has a bad name in general, especially for hypocrisy so I don't think I could make it any worse. It's just the truth. People have to read the scriptures for themselves to know the truth, not go on what people who call themselves Christians say and do.

Whoever says they do not sin is a liar, not according to me but according to scripture, I admit I'm a sinner in need of God's grace and mercy and accept Jesus as the Lamb who takes away the sin of the world. That is all.
 
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kiwidan

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I am sure if she saw what you wrote about her cosmetic appearance she would have been hurt. Not everyone chooses to have poor dental health - some of it can be medication or accident caused. So if she never "fixed it" I assume you wouldn't ever be interested? That hurts. If you absolutely loved her, her cosmetic appearance would not matter.
You don't get it. As I said I like her and we get along well and she is a nice person. I have taken her personality over her material looks and I have stuck with her and have not split after in God's eyes getting married. I'm not judging her and splitting because of appearance, why do you think I'm still there?. I am doing the right thing. Dudes just gap it, I must stay after we connected. We are married in God's eyes now so I cannot divorce and I must care for her and look after her.

She talked about her teeth to me as she said it's the reason she doesn't smile, and I concur, they need fixing for reasons of health, looking good and attractive, and self confidence. It's just constructive criticism. I'm not being mean. They need fixing. She wants them fixed when she can afford it but I know tommorow never comes so im more than happy to pay for it. That is at least 10-15k.

A fact is just a fact. Ask any dude if they think a woman with roton and missing teeth is attractive.
 
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Luminous_Rose

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You don't get it. As I said I like her and we get along well and she is a nice person. I have taken her personality over her material looks and I have stuck with her and have not split after in God's eyes getting married. I'm not judging her and splitting because of appearance, why do you think I'm still there?. I am doing the right thing. Dudes just gap it, I must stay after we connected. We are married in God's eyes now so I cannot divorce and I must care for her and look after her.

She talked about her teeth to me as she said it's the reason she doesn't smile, and I concur, they need fixing for reasons of health, looking good and attractive, and self confidence. It's just constructive criticism. I'm not being mean. They need fixing. She wants them fixed when she can afford it but I know tommorow never comes so im more than happy to pay for it.

A fact is just a fact. Ask any dude if they think a woman with roton and missing teeth is attractive.
I see...although, I still remain forever confused. I can't help but notice you mention when she can afford the fix...why not help with her goal? I know things can be weird with insurances and the lack thereof and money and one job or two jobs or what.

I suppose all I can really say is just be sure you are following God's will because in this topic I am so lost...
 
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When it comes to companionship and getting along I like this woman but there is one thing. I'm not too judgemental but thee is one thing that really turns me off, it's when she talks and smiles because she has some missing and rotting teeth it's just really not cool and I just don't find her attractive because of that, I understand no one is perfect and we all have flaws, but this is just too unattractive for me. Something like teeth is the most important when it comes to attraction, you have to want to kiss your partner , and like your partner when they laugh and you laugh, not be put off everytime they talk and smile. It's women's beauty and attraction.
Considering that you had sexual intercourse with her, you two should be intimate enough as to approach this topic. Offer to accompany her to a dentist and pay for dental implants. Sure, it is rather painful for a few weeks, but after the pain goes away most people state that the implanted teeth feel and look just like their own.
 

JohnDB

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She wants them fixed when she can afford it but I know tommorow never comes so im more than happy to pay for it. That is at least 10-15k.
Oh you pay for her dental work and she will likely fall in love...
But...
I'd get to know her for a while yet before you go and drop that kind of money.

Might be things going on in her life that she doesn't think are important that you will have problems with. Or vice versa.
 

Who Me

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I am not leading her on. I told where I stand at the moment I don't want a relationship right now and she knows that and is ok with that. We both agreed we are just friends and will see what happens. We just getting to know each other and hang out together. If she wants to continue to cook me dinner, give me a massage, and bring me my morning coffee that's cool. I appreciate it.
Two things.
In order of priority.
You label yourself as Christian yet your behaviour is definetly not Christian.
Paul repeatedly instructs us to keep the marriage bed pure. That is no sex before marriage and only sex with ones spouse after marriage.
2nd.
As luminouse rose has said you are misleading this girl, worse then that you are harming her.
The science of human biology has shown that the more sexual parners one has the hard it is is to form a permenant bond with any partner.
That and she is not getting any younger, she like all girls needs to find a husband early while they are fertile in order to have children and to be able to support there husband in the early stages of his career.

If you are not marrying her walk away and do not return to her.
 

HeIsRisen2018

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If Dan says that they're both on the same page about this and everything is fine, then that leads me to believe that is true.
 

kiwidan

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If Dan says that they're both on the same page about this and everything is fine, then that leads me to believe that is true.
We are both on the same page and she knows there is no way I am misleading her and we both are just getting to know each other and taking it slow. We enjoy each other's companionship.

At least I didn't split after one night like other dudes do. I want to try make it work. Good things take time.

Some Christians also think a human being must be the one who marries two people and they must sign a piece of paper and be recognised by the government to be officially married, yet scripture says The Father, Son, and Spirit are the 3 witnesses, not any man. I don't care about traditional marriage. I think it's a complete joke.

No sin is worse that other sins. A sin is still a sin whatever it is. And even I get attacked for being honest and confessing, instead of being attacked, Christians could understand all I had to do is repent. It's not the end of the world.
 
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HeIsRisen2018

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We are both on the same page and she knows there is no way I am misleading her and we both are just getting to know each other and taking it slow. We enjoy each other's companionship.

At least I didn't split after one night like other dudes do. I want to try make it work. Good things take time.

Some Christians also think a human being must be the one who marries two people and they must sign a piece of paper and be recognised by the government to be officially married, yet scripture says The Father, Son, and Spirit are the 3 witnesses, not any man. I don't care about traditional marriage. I think it's a complete joke.

No sin is worse that other sins. A sin is still a sin whatever it is. And even I get attacked for being honest and confessing, instead of being attacked, Christians could understand all I had to do is repent. It's not the end of the world.





I agree with everything you said but the traditional marriage thing. I don't believe that all people need to be married for a romantic relationship to work,.. but I'm getting traditionally married shortly after my fiancée comes home. :)
 

kiwidan

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I agree with everything you said but the traditional marriage thing. I don't believe that all people need to be married for a romantic relationship to work,.. but I'm getting traditionally married shortly after my fiancée comes home. :)
I mean it as in God is the witness and only God knows the heart.

Traditional marriage is only so the government recognises it and people witness it. But God is the true witness. I don't need to sign a piece of paper for God to accept it.
 

kiwidan

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Two things.
In order of priority.
You label yourself as Christian yet your behaviour is definetly not Christian.
Paul repeatedly instructs us....
And the scriptures say...

"My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous"

As much as you would like to attack me for so called sinning, unless of course you would like to confess you are without sin as a Christian.
It's what Christians are famous for, attacking others for there sins why believing they are innocent and sinless.

I don't think God cares about me having a intimate relationship and companionship as long as my intentions are to stay and commit. And I am trying to make it work. I had and have a easy out option but I would rather do the right thing and stay.
 
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HeIsRisen2018

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And the scriptures say...

"My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous"

As much as you would like to attack me for so called sinning, unless of course you would like to confess you are without sin as a Christian.
It's what Christians are famous for, attacking others for there sins why believing they are innocent and sinless.

I don't think God cares about me having a intimate relationship and companionship as long as my intentions are to stay and commit. And I am trying to make it work. I had and have a easy out option but I would rather do the right thing and stay.



Any Christian who claims to be without sin is a liar. If that were truly the case then we wouldn't need a Savior.
 

Who Me

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And the scriptures say...

"My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous"

As much as you would like to attack me for so called sinning, unless of course you would like to confess you are without sin as a Christian.
It's what Christians are famous for, attacking others for there sins why believing they are innocent and sinless.

I don't think God cares about me having a intimate relationship and companionship as long as my intentions are to stay and commit. And I am trying to make it work. I had and have a easy out option but I would rather do the right thing and stay.
First of all I know that I am a sinner, but a sinner saved by God's grace and mercy.
2nd. God cares about sin, all sin. If you are interested in doing the right thing then you will either stop having sex with her or do that and start making arrangements to marry her.
Anything else is not doing what is right.
 

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