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Keeping a Diary in your covid cave

humble soul

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I like the idea of journals anyway. Today's events, moods, observations, ….otherwise we keep those thoughts floating in our mind. better to get them down. I notice( C. empowered) and I tend to do it anyway. It helps my sanity. Maybe it helps yours?
 

humble soul

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The amount of life you spend alone. Extroverts love company. I can go through extrovert phases but not much these days. Ive been a loner for most of my life. I married a loner. How lonely that sounds? but its not. Peace and quiet and daydreaming. of course this attracts the teasing of seeking one's own physical pleasure? :lol we wont go there.
But you really need to enjoy your own company because chances are you will spend a lot of time in that scenario.
I don't need many people round me. But I do have a partner and a dog. Now if you took those away from me, I might struggle for a while. In fact forever maybe. For the rest of my life I mean. No validation from anyone that you exist is a sad scenario. unless of course you are a serious meditator or an awesome prayer warrior. I am neither of those. I wish I could say I don't need anyone but I do. I am not independent.
 

humble soul

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Patience. Patience and trust.
And getting our priorities right. And facing death. And facing everyones mortality. And being there when others need us.
We are accountable. Leave this world with contempt for self and humanity and we create a debt. A debt that has to be paid.
Getting old means leaving childish prejudices behind. Not strengthening them. We are called to go beyond knee jerk reactive hate. And to minimise our penchant to complain. Like now. When my fave coffee shop and library are closed. When everything feels so dark. Like I am living the novel 1984. Or some other macabre science fiction novel.
Life wasnt meant to be eternal sunshine. Lockdowns can be tough. But Im not really suffering yet.
 

humble soul

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Jesus visited a leper colony.
Would he visit a covid 19 hospital ward?
Of course he would. If he were allowed. He would have to have PPP though.
 

JohnDB

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day 1 of my imprisonment and unemployment...
Filled out the unemployment... very frustrating on many levels.
Goofed off most of the day...made my wife some breakfast and dinner. Nothing else.
 

humble soul

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Im on the brink of unemployment. the boss says " just go to work until the client says he doesnt need you any more".
that day is soon i fear
 
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Hmmmm
I am retired. I have been doing a lot of my normal Spring outdoors work.
But we can’t go see four of our grandkids. We have done some FaceTime with them.
My youngest son works at an assisted living place so he is actually working extra because people are calling in sick. No one where he works has gotten the virus yet.
My other married kids are able to work from home.
I can’t go to the gym.
We missed a vacation at Colonial Williamsburg.
But if we don’t get sick it will be a good trade off.
 

humble soul

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to roll and push a rock up a hill...then watch it roll all the way back....the myth of Sisyphis. .my job as school cleaner.
ive just started reading Camus' essay on this. dont pretend to understand all but....seems to say:
-our lives may seem mundane and boring but we can try to enjoy it nevertheless. enjoy the journey and dont worry about the end.
I actually enjoy cleaning. Getting faster at certain tasks. Doing tasks in different order. Keeping track of what needs dusting. Taking pride. Even if it all gets messed up the next day.
Time goes remarkably fast.
My main problem is sciatic pain. But that varies each day. So I try harder to prepare my core muscles beforehand.
 

humble soul

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Hmmmm
I am retired. I have been doing a lot of my normal Spring outdoors work.
But we can’t go see four of our grandkids. We have done some FaceTime with them.
My youngest son works at an assisted living place so he is actually working extra because people are calling in sick. No one where he works has gotten the virus yet.
My other married kids are able to work from home.
I can’t go to the gym.
We missed a vacation at Colonial Williamsburg.
But if we don’t get sick it will be a good trade off.
sounds like your family arent affected economically by corona. your kids all kept their jobs.
 

humble soul

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Camus...our life can seem absurd (especially when we dont believe in a saviour God)
 

humble soul

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watched a documentary on Catholic priest pedophiles. But this was in the diocese i went to school and taught in. Shocking but you would think people would stop doing investigative reports on this. Its been done before.The level of animosity towards RCC is bad rnough. Seems our local tax payer funded tv channel
has a special pre occuoation with exposing their sins. How about someone else for a change.?
 

JohnDB

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Made some pasta and then with my wife made some lasagna.
Pretty good stuff.
Watched television...pretty boring day.
 
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sounds like your family arent affected economically by corona. your kids all kept their jobs.
Our oldest son has a nice job. Involves flying to China and Japan periodically. And other places. He isn’t traveling now and working from home.
But he owns a “Golf Center” that has a driving range, pro shop, miniature golf and lessons from pros. He had to close it. Another son is the manager. They have gone there to do some maintenance but it’s not bringing income in now. This would be their busy season.
 

humble soul

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Can I be obsessed with suicide and not be suicidal?
Yes. Definitely. In fact. That's me.
Many suicide to escape pain. often the pain of beng conscious of their pain. I don't say animals don't suffer, but humans suffer more in that they are conscious of suffering. Consciousness then is what people want to escape. Suicidals hope to arrive at oblivion, the end of consciousness.
Interesting how some who are actually suffering a lot physically can have more passion for life. and want to live. Like those in wheelchairs. Ive seen one with Motor Neurone Disease who had a passion for life despite severe disability.
But do they truly arrive at oblivion? im not convinced. Maybe they arrive at a new learning curve. A tough hell. But a temporary Hell. Until they become mentally strong enough to return and be of more use to society. An affirmer of life. A support to others.
because it seems there are two types in the world. The givers and the takers. of course we can be both roles in our lives. But some are natural compassionate givers. like mothers for example.
 

JohnDB

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Its Bluredsday.
Another day trapped inside my home.
Yesterday I repaired my easy chair. Found a pair of missing reading glasses while I was at it...made a pan of brownies at my wife's request.
I'm not going to handle this sitting around very well...let's me know that retirement sucks.
I'm not going to retire. Might change jobs to one less lucrative, but I cant do this on a week in week out basis.
I haven't gotten high all week and no plans to do so either...I may live on the second floor but I need the sights from 40 feet up at least to feel sane. I'd prefer 10 floors but I'd love 22 without the windows and nothing but a steel cable (if they have them up) and look at the skyline as the sun comes up.
I was absolutely correct about needing to buy a farm...so I could farm an orchard. Raise pecans and fruit trees so i can make jams and jellies for production.
Real, pure Concord grape juice jelly is insane with flavor. Totally different than anything you can buy. (Ok...so it's a vine instead of a tree...it will be a fruit farm after all)

But it will be a lot of work...something to keep me busy until I die.
 

JohnDB

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Ooops
 
Last edited:
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watched a documentary on Catholic priest pedophiles. But this was in the diocese i went to school and taught in. Shocking but you would think people would stop doing investigative reports on this. Its been done before.The level of animosity towards RCC is bad rnough. Seems our local tax payer funded tv channel
has a special pre occuoation with exposing their sins. How about someone else for a change.?
My story of abuse at the hands of the Episcopal Church will go largely untold. The government will not allow the Episcopal Church to be outed like their Catholic brothers were. The media is in collusion to keep a lid on it.
 

humble soul

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My story of abuse at the hands of the Episcopal Church will go largely untold. The government will not allow the Episcopal Church to be outed like their Catholic brothers were. The media is in collusion to keep a lid on it.
Thanks for sharing that Dan. may i ask why the media is keeping a lid on it?
 

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