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Marriage & Sexual Acts (not for the timid or bashful)

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This thread is not for the timid, nor is it for the sexual predators. This is about being married, faithful to your spouse, and pleasing each other sexually and intimately. It is also about what the Bible says or does not say about sexual acts between a married couple. Couples will often do things for each other, so don't let some of this come as a surprise or embarassment. If you have issues with this, DO NOT scroll down.




















Now then...

My wife and I are faithful to each other. We have an 18 month old baby boy are planning another child in the near future. Without drawing this out any further than needs be, I am going to get right to it.

My discussion is going to be about what the Bible says or does not say on sexual acts other than intercourse. I am by no means a Bible scholar, so don't expect me to quote verses. Instead, I am actually seeking knowledge from those that might know. If at all possible, can the following questions be answered:

1. Is oral sex a sin?
2. If your wife wants to "swallow," is that a sin?
3. Is masturbation a sin?
4. Anal intercourse is not an issue with us, and we would never attempt it.

I read where God killed (name unknown - Old Testament) for "spilling his seed" on the ground, that is to say, he "pulled out." I also know that Catholics do not use contraceptives for this reason. Is it in the Bible that a husband must stay "in" his wife, and if pregnancy happens, it is a gift from God?

If you can't be mature about this, please refrain from answering.
 
the act of anal sex isnt safe as it carries high risks for cancer, and or a serious bacterial infection that is so hard to treat that of the rectum is removed. I wont post the pics.
 
CDF said:
I read where God killed (name unknown - Old Testament) for "spilling his seed" on the ground, that is to say, he "pulled out." I also know that Catholics do not use contraceptives for this reason. Is it in the Bible that a husband must stay "in" his wife, and if pregnancy happens, it is a gift from God?
Click to expand...

You are referring to Onan... he wasn't punished because of that, he was punished because he dishonored God. OT law required a man to take his brother's widow as his wife if his brother died, and he was supposed to raise a child with her to carry on his brother's inheritance. Onan took his brother's widow and had sex with her, but he didn't want to give her a child that would not be considered his (as it would be considered the dead brother's child), and so he failed to fulfill his duty to his brother, the widow (who would remain childless in a culture that valued children as a sign of blessing), and to God's command.

The Bible is silent on specific sexual acts, saying only that it should remain between a man and his wife. If you both agree to something mutually, and no person feels taken advantage of, then it is not a sin.
 
I'd have a hard time making a case for anal sex as okay in a marraige. Oral is a grey area, neither promoted nor prohibited, so as Caroline says, that is up to the couple to decide on. However, anal intercourse has a second name for a reason. Sodomy was one of the cheif sins of Sodom, and while that may not have been the only reason God destroyed that city, it cannot be proven that it wasn't something that God was unhappy with. When in doubt, don't do it. There are plenty of ways to be intimate without anal sex.
 
Blazin Bones said:
I'd have a hard time making a case for anal sex as okay in a marraige. Oral is a grey area, neither promoted nor prohibited, so as Caroline says, that is up to the couple to decide on. However, anal intercourse has a second name for a reason. Sodomy was one of the cheif sins of Sodom, and while that may not have been the only reason God destroyed that city, it cannot be proven that it wasn't something that God was unhappy with. When in doubt, don't do it. There are plenty of ways to be intimate without anal sex.
Click to expand...
Oral sex is considered sodomy in the military.
 
Thank you Caroline, that puts things in a different perspective.

One thing we can't do is confuse state laws (definitions of sodomy) with God's law. I'm a cop and know the laws of my state and the US Constitution very well, but they have no real bearing here.

If God says sodomy (anal intercourse) is wrong, don't do it, plain and simple. Neither my wife nor me have any interest in that and would never do it anyway. It's "exit only."
 
i was correcting Tim on that as in the military it is condisired an act of sodomy and punishable, but that is very rarely. It was punished in the 1800's. I think.
 
This is an area that my husband and I have talked about extensively. Ultimately, as Caroline pointed out, as long as both husband and wife agree on it, and neither feel taken advantage of, then it's ok. But, my husband and I take that one step even further. If either one of us are humiliated by an act, then that stays out too. The last thing you want to do is humiliate your spouse for your own pleasure. It tears down walls of trust and faith. The other thing that I didn't see mentioned was bringing another person into the bedroom or swapping partners. That doesn't stay between a husband and wife, so that's out too.
 
heather said:
This is an area that my husband and I have talked about extensively. Ultimately, as Caroline pointed out, as long as both husband and wife agree on it, and neither feel taken advantage of, then it's ok. But, my husband and I take that one step even further. If either one of us are humiliated by an act, then that stays out too. The last thing you want to do is humiliate your spouse for your own pleasure. It tears down walls of trust and faith. The other thing that I didn't see mentioned was bringing another person into the bedroom or swapping partners. That doesn't stay between a husband and wife, so that's out too.
Click to expand...

Ah my favorite subject! Nice warning but that only made me want to read it!.

Lots of great points so far. I like what heather has to say here.

I would like to add that love/sex between a man and a woman within the confines of a loving relationship called marriage is best poetically described (I think) in the biblical book Song of Solomon. I know some will say it has even deeper meanings and that's fine, but it has much of the sexual flavor of love in it.

Honestly, when it comes to veriouse sex acts between a married couple perversion vs love can become a gray area for some. So, where do we draw the line? I think the act of sex should be something loving to the other person, and if that person is wanting something that seems more perverted than loving then that sould be in question.

As great as the simple act of sex is between a man and a woman who are also expressing their love for each other in the act of sex, why are we wanting more than that? Are such ideas coming from God, or is it something more sinister? Are we just satisfying lustful ideas we may have picked up from the world, or are we pleasing our partner?
 
Hebrews 13:4 (King James Version)

4Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
 
I am certain that anal sex can be shown to be sinful. Contrary to popular belief, t is homosexual acts that the Bible condemns, not the homosexual. Following from that, a much weaker case might be able to be made for oral sex.

My wife and I both find oral sex very unappealing for reasons of hygiene and all that goes on down there in the course of a day. It is nearly the equivalent of drinking from the toilet.
 
Free said:
I am certain that anal sex can be shown to be sinful. Contrary to popular belief, t is homosexual acts that the Bible condemns, not the homosexual. Following from that, a much weaker case might be able to be made for oral sex.

My wife and I both find oral sex very unappealing for reasons of hygiene and all that goes on down there in the course of a day. It is nearly the equivalent of drinking from the toilet.
Click to expand...
uh that homosexual act is condmended but that like saying one can look at another women yet if dont touch its ok, keep it up and you will act on it.

from a bi stand point i speak from expercience. i didnt plan to date a man, i just never planned on dealing with that sin as i wasnt at that time getting hit that hard with that male lust but if a man is to be drawn into tempation then sin he must have the handles for satan to grab and wiggle in,
 
Lewis W said:
Hebrews 13:4 (King James Version)

4Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Click to expand...

This is what i believe too.
 
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