[__ Praise __] Our God is a God of reconciliation...

[Christ_empowered]

this is a --Praise Report--! Mama's here at the condo today. I didn't ask her to come by, she just...well, I guess she and dad figured I needed more social interaction and parent time (?), so she's here and staying over night (its 2 bedroom condo). So....

I'm thankful, clearly. Once was blind now I see...'twas grace that saved a wretch like me...

I'm blessed beyond measure. At this point, I"m healthy and doing much, much better in life and...

I've been forgiven, too. 1st by God, thru Christ...now, more and more it seems, by my parents...also thru Christ, of course.


I don't have so much hate in my heart or mind, I'm forgiven and blessed and...and..."washed and made clean..."

I needed it, big time.

so...there you go...on an (thankfully...) uneventful Halloween, a lil Praise Report.

 

[JLB]

this is a --Praise Report--! Mama's here at the condo today. I didn't ask her to come by, she just...well, I guess she and dad figured I needed more social interaction and parent time (?), so she's here and staying over night (its 2 bedroom condo). So....

I'm thankful, clearly. Once was blind now I see...'twas grace that saved a wretch like me...

I'm blessed beyond measure. At this point, I"m healthy and doing much, much better in life and...

I've been forgiven, too. 1st by God, thru Christ...now, more and more it seems, by my parents...also thru Christ, of course.


I don't have so much hate in my heart or mind, I'm forgiven and blessed and...and..."washed and made clean..."

I needed it, big time.

so...there you go...on an (thankfully...) uneventful Halloween, a lil Praise Report.

Awesome report.

You are dearly loved.


Be blessed.


JLB

 

[Christ_empowered]

mama left just a bit ago. I am...truly, for realsies thankful.

God has changed me! work-in-progress...of course...but: I've been brought so, so far by Christ Jesus.

I really did like the apt. I was in, but...my parents actually -own- this place. Plus...that place is being sold to new owners, so its probably best to just jump ship before things get crazy, anyway. Physically, the space was nice...not quite as big as the condo, but close...cool late 50s, early 60s thing going on...but...

i feel better, "mentally" if you wanna put it that way, in a place my parents own. Also...I get the sense that they see my need and would rather buy what they can than spend $$$ on rent for however many years. rambling...

God is good! I think....the world is a cruel, cold place, it really is...and I'm blessed that God spared me and brought me out of darkness, my own sins, and made me "in the world, but not of it..."

because now I think I"m really, truly...to whatever extent possible, in my situation...honest to goodness growing up. I'm thankful, I really am.

 

[Tessa]

Fantastic praise and report.
I agree this poor old world is suffering badly, but there are still some beautiful people in it. God lives inside them.
You are inspiring CE.

 

[Christ_empowered]

awww, Tessa...thanks so much!

you know...for a while there, I kept getting these bizarre error messages every time I tried to go to cfnet. i had this thought...oh no, what if its gone for good...and I really thought of the people id miss (in particular)...and you were/are one of them.

my parents are good to me. today, i dropped by their place and they got me a sweater/jacket zip up thing (its apparently trendy now...as if id know that...) and a nice, thick throw for my bed and/or couch. but its not just about stuff, its about...

the -lack- of animosity, bitterness, broken-ness, and rage in our relationship. that alone took a miracle. and...the way they make time for me now, when they have time, even tho im 34. with the...errrr...mental affliction, i need them in ways that most adult offspring do not need their parents, true story. and yet...

despite who i was before, everything...they make time for me.

i hope i can make some friends, but... i dunno. its like this...people hear "Schizophrenia," they think...maybe a tranquilized, impoverished individual i can condescend to, etc. i take a tranq, i dont have much $$$ of my own, but...i live a decent, modest lifestyle, i write well, i have social skills, i apparently have a "high(er) IQ" (I think that means above 120, I don;'t know...), etc., and...

yeah. -nothing- against people who will take time to talk to 'mental patients,' even if they are sometimes condescending. its just...i rub people 'round here the wrong way. even my mcdonalds lady...the young woman making mah iced coffee...she routinely gives me the silent treatment, sometimes she even rolls her eyes while mixing it up, and im like...look, its a $2 cup of iced coffee. i need ice, coffee, cream, and caramel....let's not make this about your attitude, m'kay? but i wouldn't want to work minimum wage, either. id be attitudinal like whoa...

rambling. thanks, tessa.

 

[Tessa]

Don't worry about it. My daughter is always rolling her eyes up at me. :lkl

 

[Christ_empowered]

awwww...she shouldn't! these days, my mama gets more of an attitude w/ me than i get with her, although its usually only an issue deep into drinkin time. other than that, we're kosher, I think.

i dunno. i had a rough, possibly horrible, existence before I got genuily saved (bullying, victimized by gay community, cancer, hiv/aids, lobotomy, electroshock, jail time....), so "Schizophrenia" is kind of...cliche, lol. but, now my parents "have money," as the townies say, and...

-sigh- i dont know. looking back, i dont think i would ever "survive the real world," pretty much because I was targeted and punished for everything, anything, until -after- I got genuinely, truly saved 6 years ago. too bright eyed...too old...too short...how'd he get taller?...too feminine...trying to be a man, is he?...too close to his mama....etc. , etc., etc. and now?

God is good! Did I tell you that dad made me me part beneficiary on his pension? i dont know how these things work, but its looking like...i'll be OK, job or no job (that's almost exactly what my dad said, LOL), so...

I"m blessed. not big $$$, but certainly sufficient $$$, plus...as if anyone will hire me around here, LOL. sad truth...like many long-term "mental patients" on disabilty, my situation is rooted as much in economic and social factors as in the underlying malady.

ok. yet again, ive rambled.

 

[Tessa]

The Battle of life goes on. We will never get bored will we. God is gracious to us though and carries us over the tough times. We get the good times too though. You are on an incredible journey - and way in front of me.

 

[King Dan of Great the 1st]

I happy things are going good for you CE.

 

[Christ_empowered]

i missed a call from mah parents on the cell phone today. before i knew it, they were at the condo with decorations. didn't take long...its a relatively small space, and we just decorated the living room and kitchen, part of the patio. anyway...

quick, but fun. and meaningful. and...God is good, of course.

 

[Tessa]

Sounds nice CE

 

[Christ_empowered]

me, yet again. i made a big, needlessly long post...ill get rid of it shortly. anyway...

mama and dad made another less than expected trip over to mah place today. they're such good people. i now have these Christmas lights lining one doorway...and I can turn them on/off with one of the light switches on the wall. fun, bright, convenient...good times.


im becoming less afraid, over time. they help, tremendously. prayer is huge, too. i repented of the worldly lies and "junk" I've been holding onto. and...for the 1st time in a while, I genuinely prayed forgiveness for my pride+spirit of rebellion. not that I'm a teenager all over again (HARDLY...), but I have been pushing back against Christ and His ways a bit...

anyway, my parents are wonderful people. I"m blessed to have them, to be in their lives. l'd like to move on, beyond hearing voices and getting tense and...i think forgiveness is key, along with just...growing in Christ, overall maturation, etc.


ok. thanks.

 

[Christ_empowered]

yeah, me...yet again. i spent time w/ my -dad- tonight. he heated some chicken and some kinda fancy (to me...) appetizer from ze WalzMart. phylo dough, creaminess inside...ohman...--intense--.

the big deal was pleasant time with my dad. no big shakes, no drama, no...you get the idea. and he's good to me, he really is....and he's seeing God's work in my life, I think+hope+pray and, honestly...kind of assume, too because...otherwise, I don't think I'd be part of the family. At all.

Praise God for His goodness!

 

[stovebolts]

Thank you for sharing CE. I never tire of reading about your life. You've always been a source of inspiration for me.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks, StoveBolts. get this...

so, dad came by. we ended up getting lunch and seeing a movie together. God is good!