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Parenting Victory Stories

Mike

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I'm seriously in need of them. Any parents who have survived parenting their kids through the teens into adulthood to an era of emotional prosperity, I need to hear from you! Particularly daughters.

I'm serious. What alien snatched our daughters 19 and 16 and replaced them with these posers? Please tell me there are better days ahead. As it is, I'm looking for reliable ways to put myself in a coma until I can wake up and reboot this walk with grandchildren.
 

Truthfrees

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one of the most impactful examples of good parenting i saw was parents who always affirmed their child - they were always telling her her good points

this made the child self assured - stable in the fact her parents loved her - selfless - open to hearing anything her parents said

the parents said they never scolded her - they talked to her about the wisdom of things and talked her through the choices - helping her come to her own conclusions

praying that more stories will be posted here that will match your specific needs
 

Truthfrees

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i find children of all ages respond well when we look for and point out their good points - it creates a subliminal desire in them to do more of the good thing

i also ask them lots of questions about why they do certain things - being careful to not judge - but rather pray about the things that seem wrong - asking God to show me how to deal with the wrong things they do

and most often He shows me to keep praying for the issues and only talk about the good things they do

children of any age - and adults too - want to be loved and accepted - the person who shows them the most love and acceptance will become the one they listen most to

the person who criticizes them the most usually becomes the person they don't listen to
 
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Mike

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one of the most impactful examples of good parenting i saw was parents who always affirmed their child - they were always telling her her good points
This sounds like the perfect way a parent will handle teens in the perfect world. Truthfrees, I'm just curious. Are you a parent? If so, have you parented teens?

My OP was partly just fun, but it was born of real frustrations associated with older teen/young adult parenting. From your picture of parenting, I suspect you don't have personal experience with this.
 

Truthfrees

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This sounds like the perfect way a parent will handle teens in the perfect world. Truthfrees, I'm just curious. Are you a parent? If so, have you parented teens?

My OP was partly just fun, but it was born of real frustrations associated with older teen/young adult parenting. From your picture of parenting, I suspect you don't have personal experience with this.
we are not blessed with children of our own yet but i work with children and teens and adults who didn't have a good childhood - which for sure is NOT the same thing as you being a 24/7 parent

i am definitely praying for you though because i understand what you are going through

praying that you will get the right kind of help/inspiration/encouragement from 24/7 parents

God Bless you
 

Mike

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praying that you will get the right kind of help/inspiration/encouragement from 24/7 parents
As I explained to our older daughter, you spend your parenting years giving and giving to your kids. During the younger years, the return you receive is the love from them and the happiness they show. I always said when done right, parenting is the toughest job you'll ever love.

Flash forward to the older teen years where there is nothing in return because they'd rather be anywhere else than with their parents. Life matters get weightier, and decisions have bigger implications. Besides our daughters, we have a 22 year old son finishing up college. Our kids in a lot of ways are great. They're good students, don't drink or do drugs. They have faith at different levels, more than I did at that age.

But the hormones of girls their age combined with their natural inclination to separate themselves from their parents combined with no help around the house leads to a lot of head-butting, more so with their mother than me.

Thank you for your prayers. You have a kind soul.
 

MustangGirl

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But the hormones of girls their age combined with their natural inclination to separate themselves from their parents combined with no help around the house leads to a lot of head-butting, more so with their mother than me.
My daughter is now 35. I discovered that when she turned about 14, the aliens kidnapped her and surgically removed her sense of humor. She drove me NUTS! Well, God has a sense of humor. She has been blessed with two beautiful daughters, ages 15 and 13. When they were little, I often heard myself coming out of her mouth! Now, her older one is JUST LIKE she was at the same age. The younger one is just like me. I told her that she was reaping what she had sowed during her younger years.
 

Mike

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My daughter is now 35. I discovered that when she turned about 14, the aliens kidnapped her and surgically removed her sense of humor. She drove me NUTS! Well, God has a sense of humor. She has been blessed with two beautiful daughters, ages 15 and 13. When they were little, I often heard myself coming out of her mouth! Now, her older one is JUST LIKE she was at the same age. The younger one is just like me. I told her that she was reaping what she had sowed during her younger years.
Thank you MustangGirl. That's what I'm talking about! That's the land of milk and honey I need to know is out there! Thank you for the hope that comes with knowing we can get through this!! :woot2
 

MustangGirl

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Thank you MustangGirl. That's what I'm talking about! That's the land of milk and honey I need to know is out there! Thank you for the hope that comes with knowing we can get through this!! :woot2
Don't be afraid to enforce discipline though. My husband was in the Navy so he wasn't home much (nature of the beast). My daughter said something and I backhanded her. She said that I had "assaulted" her and she was going to call the police and report me for child abuse. Well, I told her that she might as well tell the cops that they'd be coming to investigate a murder because I wasn't going to go down for child abuse. She wasn't too sure if I was serious or not and she put the phone down. She was the hardest one to raise. My sons were a breeze. Again, because of Naval deployments, I was the main parent/disciplinarian. Both boys at about age 16, 17 decided to challenge me, physically. I let them get one hit in so then I could claim self-defense (they were both bigger than me by that age) and I took them down. I mean, I took them DOWN! A couple of years later, #1 son goes in the Army. Drill Instructor is up in his face yelling at him. #1 son just stares and smirks at the DI. DI asks him what his problem is...#1 son says "my mama could make you cry". From what I understand, he kept his buddies entertained during his deployments with "my mama" stories. Not sure how true they were...but...according to him, mama is someone not to be messed with. That's not a bad thing...
 

Truthfrees

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Don't be afraid to enforce discipline though. My husband was in the Navy so he wasn't home much (nature of the beast). My daughter said something and I backhanded her. She said that I had "assaulted" her and she was going to call the police and report me for child abuse. Well, I told her that she might as well tell the cops that they'd be coming to investigate a murder because I wasn't going to go down for child abuse. She wasn't too sure if I was serious or not and she put the phone down. She was the hardest one to raise. My sons were a breeze. Again, because of Naval deployments, I was the main parent/disciplinarian. Both boys at about age 16, 17 decided to challenge me, physically. I let them get one hit in so then I could claim self-defense (they were both bigger than me by that age) and I took them down. I mean, I took them DOWN! A couple of years later, #1 son goes in the Army. Drill Instructor is up in his face yelling at him. #1 son just stares and smirks at the DI. DI asks him what his problem is...#1 son says "my mama could make you cry". From what I understand, he kept his buddies entertained during his deployments with "my mama" stories. Not sure how true they were...but...according to him, mama is someone not to be messed with. That's not a bad thing...
loving your stories - if you have anymore keep them coming
 

HeIsRisen2018

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Lol, I think for right now I will focus on getting Joe back and then work on getting married first before I even think about having children which that is exactly how it should be. A Christian comedian once made a joke about how God created teenagers because He wanted to see how we liked having somebody made in our image that denied our existence.
 

Mike

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She was the hardest one to raise. My sons were a breeze.
Yes! Our son is 22, and I've been through that phase of life with him. As you say, it was a breeze. He's a slob, and part of this is on us for not setting higher expectations and holding him to them, but we never went through the mind games we're going through with the girls. We're all self-centered to some extent, but they are completely unaware anyone else exists.

Saturday morning my wife and I were in cleaning mode, and I was putting on my coat to take the dog for a walk. My wife is cleaning around the kitchen, and our 16 year old is watching something on her phone at the kitchen table. The other one is still asleep. All I did was ask her to clean the crumbs from where she ate pizza at the counter the night before. "But I didn't even do that this morning!" "Yes, you did it last night and didn't clean up." On the verge of tears, she wiped up the evidence, muttered something like "This is stupid." and went up to her room. A day in the life...
 

MustangGirl

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Saturday morning my wife and I were in cleaning mode, and I was putting on my coat to take the dog for a walk. My wife is cleaning around the kitchen, and our 16 year old is watching something on her phone at the kitchen table. The other one is still asleep. All I did was ask her to clean the crumbs from where she ate pizza at the counter the night before. "But I didn't even do that this morning!" "Yes, you did it last night and didn't clean up." On the verge of tears, she wiped up the evidence, muttered something like "This is stupid." and went up to her room. A day in the life...
Oh...I would have seen red at that point and somebody (not me) would have been scrubbing the kitchen. I've been known to do horrible things like make children with bad aim clean the toilet and around it with a toothbrush. I was an only child and admittedly a spoiled brat. I informed my children that I was the Alpha female and not to be trifled with. I talked to #1 son last night and well...I think I feel sorry for his future children. He just got married and they want kids like NOW...since they're both 30-ish.

And Mike, the kid who was watching something on her phone while mama was cleaning? Oh no...she would have lost that phone in a second. The one who was sleeping? Oh no...she'd have been rolled out of bed, given cleaning supplies and a to-do list. You and mama should have gone out for a nice morning and come home to a clean house. Again though, I was a single mom for all practical purposes while my kids were growing up (Navy deployments are awful) and worked full time. Oh no...mama don't play that.
 

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