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Parents

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I believe the best thing a parent can do is be honest with there children with there life struggles because when there children have struggles they will have the confidence to talk openly with there parents.

There are parents who in times of problems or struggle try hide everything from there children thinking they are doing the best thing, and all there children see is a bright light life is always great, yet when they start to have problems of there own there parents then wonder why there children don't talk to them about there issues and struggles. Parents don't even wonder why, they don't even know most the time.
 
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Depends on the age and understanding of the children.
But so long as the conversation allows for that then yes I agree.

It is important that children see there parents coping with, responding to life's difficulties in a Godly way.
That prayer is a central point around which problems are brought to God.
That they talk intelligently through problems, disbutes etc.
They need to teach there children that one argues, not by blaming the other but by saying what has hurt/upset one and why. The other has to listen, put there point across and both apologise for any hurt etc caused.
 
I know exactly what you are talking about...

A family I know does that...my own did that too.

And I think that difficult times brings a family closer together.
Nothing means fighting more than family...but not always. When families pull together to face adversity...no more fighting. Everyone (including small children) can help in some fashion. It's parents putting their own overblown emotional worries in the children that is the problem... children don't understand powerlessness until they do. They know that they are limited. It's ok for them to see mom and dad limited too.
 
As it has been said, age and understanding depends a lot on honesty. I'm not saying lie to your children, but when they're young they may not understand.

For example, about this whole COVID business. My 5 year old is understanding it a lot more than my 2 year old. My 2 year old has no idea what COVID even is, thinks life is going on as normal, and it makes me a little jeaous sometimes lol. So, there's no use sitting down my 2 year old and even trying to explain because it's over their little noggin. My 5 year old blames it all on the "corona" and while she might not have it right all the time, she gets why we can't just go out to the park or why all the people in the store are wearing masks or why people are keeping distance from each other.

Honesty is great when the children will understand it.

Sometimes I get why parents don't tell their children everything. They are not required, but sometimes parents don't want to freak their children out. I remember when I was younger. I'm not sure how old I was, but my parents pulled up to their bank to check the balance and they were low on money. They were like, "We have how much!? What did we spend it on?!" Like kind of freaking out. They didn't usually act that way so we all were so worried. My mom agreed to cook more meals at home instead of go out because it was getting too expensive and costing too much money for all of us. My sister was the one that was freaking out for days. She was like, "We could be homeless! We could be living on the streets! I may not have a bed to sleep in!" Like...she took what my parents reacted about and said over the top in her mind. She was of course exaggerating, but she took the situation as she saw it. It didn't do her any good, but everything was all right and we were never homeless.

There are many factors other than honesty that affect why children don't just run to mom and dad to talk about issues. I remember my parents hiding the stressful issues, how much my dad made at work, and things like that as those were private things to them. My parents were open to us about a lot of things such as death in the family and such...some hard topics, too. There were still things I didn't want to run to Mom or Dad to because I feared being in trouble. I thought, "Oh no, if I told them, I would be in such trouble!" From what I understand, even if these were not present in my situation, some parents that are overly-controlling, overly-discipline, over-react, etc. sometimes cause a child not to return to their parents for help. Sometimes that stroke of teenage independence and the, "I got this!" attitude when they don't exactly got it is a factor.

There are so many things, we can't blame the honesty thing alone.
 
As it has been said, age and understanding depends a lot on honesty. I'm not saying lie to your children, but when they're young they may not understand.

For example, about this whole COVID business. My 5 year old is understanding it a lot more than my 2 year old. My 2 year old has no idea what COVID even is, thinks life is going on as normal, and it makes me a little jeaous sometimes lol. So, there's no use sitting down my 2 year old and even trying to explain because it's over their little noggin. My 5 year old blames it all on the "corona" and while she might not have it right all the time, she gets why we can't just go out to the park or why all the people in the store are wearing masks or why people are keeping distance from each other.

Honesty is great when the children will understand it.

Sometimes I get why parents don't tell their children everything. They are not required, but sometimes parents don't want to freak their children out. I remember when I was younger. I'm not sure how old I was, but my parents pulled up to their bank to check the balance and they were low on money. They were like, "We have how much!? What did we spend it on?!" Like kind of freaking out. They didn't usually act that way so we all were so worried. My mom agreed to cook more meals at home instead of go out because it was getting too expensive and costing too much money for all of us. My sister was the one that was freaking out for days. She was like, "We could be homeless! We could be living on the streets! I may not have a bed to sleep in!" Like...she took what my parents reacted about and said over the top in her mind. She was of course exaggerating, but she took the situation as she saw it. It didn't do her any good, but everything was all right and we were never homeless.

There are many factors other than honesty that affect why children don't just run to mom and dad to talk about issues. I remember my parents hiding the stressful issues, how much my dad made at work, and things like that as those were private things to them. My parents were open to us about a lot of things such as death in the family and such...some hard topics, too. There were still things I didn't want to run to Mom or Dad to because I feared being in trouble. I thought, "Oh no, if I told them, I would be in such trouble!" From what I understand, even if these were not present in my situation, some parents that are overly-controlling, overly-discipline, over-react, etc. sometimes cause a child not to return to their parents for help. Sometimes that stroke of teenage independence and the, "I got this!" attitude when they don't exactly got it is a factor.

There are so many things, we can't blame the honesty thing alone.

Your sister is funny.
Kids don't need to know all the "what ifs" during a stressful time. And passing the worries on to them is just as bad if not worse as not saying anything because children have imaginations too. They'll know something is wrong...but, like your sister, goes over the top with their imaginations.

And if she was shown about how cooking at home can produce good (and sometimes better) meals that really save the family some money...it would allay her fears and give her something to do to help the family. Positive actions to help bad situations...

And that's a huge thing to teach a child. It keeps them from acting like a "deer in headlights" to their own problems later.

Troubles come in every life. It's the reaction to them that makes a difference. Training children to react in a positive manner to them is the role of a parent. Breaking down the problems and figuring out how to solve them. (Immediate, mid term, and long term)

I'm currently having my own troubles...and soon enough I'll find a solution to them. Because that's what I need to do.
Knee jerk reactions are usually wrong. So I'm being careful and listening and learning more about these troubles.
Playing it smart...my wife gets hysterical...but then can calm down and get really smart in a hurry. (Just like her mother)
 
It is hard to be calm as a parent when a financial crisis hits or something serious of that sort. Worrying kids with problems isn't generally great when they take it out of proportion or worry themselves.

I remember my parents assuring her that we wouldn't be homeless and needed to save some money. She got over herself eventually lol. With multiple kids, if you worry one child they'll share their exaggerated worries with the others, not always the best thing.

My mom did make more meals at home and said that's what we needed to do so that's what we did. To be honest, I always liked mom's cooking better. It was my picky picky little brother that was always saying he didn't like it because he wouldn't try half of the stuff, but he didn't have the choice of kids foods out in a restaurant anymore - it was what mom cooked or nothing.

I agree that reaction makes a difference. I know I react too heavily at times, but I have been getting better at waiting until the kids go to sleep and then share my worries with my husband. We agree what we will or will not tell the kids or whether it's appropriate or not to tell them. Sometimes the problems are such short term and the kids don't need to know and we can keep it all under wraps because telling a child can make it a long-term problem for them.

All depends on the situation.
 
There are parents who in times of problems or struggle try hide everything from there children thinking they are doing the best thing, and all there children see is a bright light life is always great, yet when they start to have problems of there own there parents then wonder why there children don't talk to them about there issues and struggles. Parents don't even wonder why, they don't even know most the time.
Exactly, i have spoken to suicidal and depressed children, that do not talk to their parents. I think, and preach it is always good to be open and honest as a child and as a parent. Communication goes a long way in this life, but people take it for granted.
 
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