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[__ Prayer __] people yelling at me

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it was so weird. im living a new (to me) place. not lavish, but...quite nice, safe, comfortable. so...

6.30, 6.45, i hear a female yelling towards my apt./condo, stuff about me. i actually dealt with it OK...I mean, I was safe in the condo, doors locked, about to cook up a meal...so I did OK with it. it went on for a little while, and...

-ugh- its what happens, I think, when stigmatized people 'don't know their place.' in the 60s and 70s, as more states moved people out of the state hospitals and into (hostile) communities, stuff like this happened, only a lot more intense. that's just the social aspect.

the spiritual aspect...im starting to grasp. God's work in this world is always met with opposition. I was an outcast when I came to believe upon Him, 6 years ago, and now...

? I'm not the same person, Praise God (!!!). New way of being/personality, healthy, i don't have the weight of my own sins and things done to me written all over me....my parents are kind and supportive, but they also expect more from me (because I think they see more capability), and...

"...in the world, but not of it." stuff like this...I guess now that The Lord has moved in my life and my parents' lives so that my tormentors have no -real power- over me (long, long story...)...

what they have is petty cruelty and yelling and...blah blah blah. ugh.

anyway...in a somewhat unusual change from my (many, many) other posts, I ask that pray for whoever it is that was taunting me, and the people who live around me. funny thing...im beginning to suspect that im better off as a "Schizophrenic, from a good family" than I ever was as a "loser, from a rinky dink middle class family." weird, huh? or maybe...not so weird...I dunno...

anyway, i also ask that if you feel like it, you pray to rebuke satan, on my behalf. i do it myself, during prayer, but...the more the merrier, am I right? right. :)
 

Tessa

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The way we change reminds me of "the things Ionce loved now i hate, and the tthings i once hated now I love.:

The new man/woman. You are there and God will protect. Joining you in your prayer .
 
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Thanks, tessa. and I agree, I truly do.

I know I've written a lot about physical healing and my new IQ estimate, but...the big, big thing is: "...put off the old, put one the new...," that and being forgiven, 'washed+made clean...".

I get -no- respect around here. doesn't matter if its fast food or what. sometimes, i go to a 24 hour pharmacy early in the morning, like 5 am or so. sounds weird, but they have discount membership cards, so if i shop carefully...

i can get relatively inexpensive coffee (ground), nuts, stuff like that. so i do. last time, i was there, and i had to go to the way back, where a young man and young woman were hanging out, and explain that no one was up front for me to check out. they knew. i overheard the man saying 'i don't think he gets it...'

darned if you do, darned if you don't. that catch phrase defined much of my life, before Christ, and now...

well, so what? I'm now "in the world, but not of it." -if- my enemies and people who just...well, they've -decided- to be my enemies, because i don't even know many people around here...if those people had real power over me, it'd be over, for me. but...by God's grace, they don't. lots of put downs, sneers, poor service at shops and restaurants, etc. it is what it is.

blah. so, the woman yelling at the condo...really, in my direction, i was just fortunate enough to be inside for her little tirade...

it is what it is, or...it was what it was. i dont think i'll ever get much respect in this community, and i dont think i can move away anytime soon, possibly ever. oh well. at this point, i do think some (a lot?) of it is because of my faith and how God has seen fit to work in my life over these past 6 years. that and the stigma of being a 'mental patient,' but living more or less on the edges of the mainstream, and...

blah blah blah. thanks, tessa. :)
 

medievalglo

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It's sounding more like it is the other folk who need to learn a thing or two about how to love others! It's getting more difficult as "the love of man is growing cold"!! The Lord sees and knows EACH incident! Our best defense is prayer! Lord, help me respond in a loving way, not to retaliate the way I WANT to.... Many "Christians" still get lost in this, and respond in unloving ways! Then, "Lord forgive me!!" "I need YOUR strength and power to do ANYTHING!"
 
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thanks, medievalgo. and...you're spot on. i don't retaliate, but i get...miffed. LOL. Not angry, just...its like...oh man, AGAIN?!?!

to my credit, last night/early this AM at the pharmacy, I handled it OK. I was polite, I asked for a clerk, I wished the young lady a good morning on my way out, blah blah blah. Not trying to pat myself on the back...its The Lord's work in my life, nothing in the flesh (eek). But...Praise God (!!!), I'm no longer an anger ball.

thanks. :)
 
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me, yet again. i think....i think this means that i really -am- a new creation in Christ Jesus. Another female voice outside. I know, with my labels/diagnosis, one would think...well...its "symptoms." nope. see, especially -on- medication, i can distinguish between my "issues" becoming kind of auditory (nothing too scary...with the meds on board, it just kind of cues me in to a need to get out more, have some social interaction, watch TV...get outta my head basically) vs no, really...someone's out there, being loud and obnoxious.

so, yeah. yeah. and I can tell Jesus is working with me, because...I'm not sad or angry or anything like that. I mean, i wish they'd quit, and I hope they don't mess with my potted plants outside, but other than that....

-shrug- the world's filled with mean spirited people. by God's grace, I'm no longer one of them, nor am I a lost soul, etc. God -is- Love! :)

I do pray they find other things to do with their time, though. :)
 

HeIsRisen2018

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Alright as usual I don't understand most of what this topic is about. Sorry Christ_empowered, but a lot of your topics are a bit too difficult for me to understand,.. but let me just tell you this,.. I don't like getting yelled at either and I don't know anybody who does.


Heck Jesus probably didn't even like it, but I just learned to grow a thicker skin because in life that's going to happen sometimes. Nobody is perfect (except the Lord) and a lot of the time they have trouble controlling their emotions. I'm personally not a yeller in the slightest but I do have trouble controlling my anger sometimes, or I can get quite sensitive and clingy.



Point being we all have our flaws and I basically move on and let it go in one ear and right out the other because they probably won't remember it anyways. :)
 
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ok. the heckling continues. i think a lot of it -is- related to a) psych stigma and b) the psych 'professionals' releasing info. b) would explain why people yell out "oppositional defiant disorder!" and "he was addicted to Klonopin and Adderall!" and "trouble maker!" awesome. please, please do -not- go to therapy or a psychiatrist if you can avoid doing so, m'kay? OK.

went out for a lil afternoon spin, feeling all kindsa warm and happy, get out of mah vehicle and...heckling. people can be lame. God, on the other hand, is amazingly Good. so...at least here, i know my parents -own- my place. by the grace of God and due to savvy investing advice, etc., they were even able to buy it outright, no mortgage required. they're quite proud of themselves, I get a cool place to live, and...

i really do feel -much- safer, less 'paranoid' than at the apartment complex. there were times when...I smelled men's cologns (i don't wear any) and just...in general, I feared being targeted for eviction. it happens, and i have it easier and smoother than 99.xyz% of the 'mental patients' i see at the clinic. moving on...

so, this is kinda sorta big time --lame--, but...i can deal. my cousin...the guy i talk about now and then, he was big time corporate dude, got saved big time, is now using his clout+resources in full time ministry...he's kind enough to keep up with me, and he says a lot of this can be filed under 'spiritual warfare' and 'the way the world works.' i think of it as...

push::tongueushback. its been going on most definitely since i got genuinely saved, and honestly...i think God had His mighty hand on me, even when i was deep in unrepentant sin and darkness, and -that- explains some of the cruelty and wickedness i encountered on my way to The Cross. not really me, per se, just...how the #($&)(#$ is this 'weakling' alive?!?! ugh! I was live because God willed to spare me, and His work in my life is what sets me apart from those on The Broad Road and from the old me. True of any Christian.

OK. OK. OK. thanks for reading, replying, praying, and honestly...just...thinking on what I'm saying without judging. The mental health industry is -not- all its cracked up to be. they don't torture everybody, but...ask yourselves:: for all the monies spent on "mental health treatment" (read: psychobabble and pills), is anyone...better? by better, I Mean...do people come out of hospitals productive, law abiding, thoughtful citizens? yeah, I didn't. on a good day, "successful treatment" just means making someone into a compliant, profitable patient. true story.

I've got a load of dishes running, I've got 2 (thankfully, small) bathrooms to mop+sanitize, plus I'm craving more of that home-brewed McCafe (its 100% Arabica! LOL. seriously, its 10x better than the 100% Arabica ALDI sells, and I think I may have saved a couple bucks...), so...

buh bye for now, mah fellow Christians. Our Redeemer Lives! :)
 

Tessa

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Yes our Blessed Redeemer lives and no-one can hurt Him any more
One day no-one will hurt us any more.
In the meantime we have the promise that Jesus will be with us until the end of the world, and then some more - eternity
 
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me, yet again.

stigma is...a part of my life, here on earth. BUT, here's the thing...I could have died in my mess...The Lord spared me, dealt with my heart, I'm saved....

and all sortsa things have been added unto me. Honestly, you know the pop psychology term, 'survivor's guilt' ? yeah, well...i wouldn't go that far, but...i survived my own sins (drugs, sodomy) and what others did to me (assaults, electroshock, denying proper medical treatment), and now...

im healthy, smart, normal and...increasingly whole, albeit flawed. The Schizophrenia...is rough, at times. I Mean "Schizophrenia..." what is it, anyway? i was low status, oppressed, ridiculed, etc., and...

at a certain point, things disintegrated. that's why i think its Schizophrenia, not Bipolar...the way my perception of reality is more of a problem than my mood. anyway...

reading other former patients' stories helps. i have a far easier of time than they did/do...and a lot of them kept on, as best they could.

i am blessed. the new place is a -huge- blessing. the cost of living here is lower than in a lot of the US, but its a pretty area, physically. real estate costs are going up, but right now...its still possible to grab a good deal, here and there. and by God's grace...

-this- place is now my parents', and i live here! :) seriously, though...its a massive blessing, and I'm just now taking a step back, growing up, being less bratty, and appreciating the whole shebang. now...


i dunno. Schizophrenia is un-fun. being yelled at and stigmatized is un-fun. but, im no longer a weakling, as they used to call me (of course, i had cancer...how's that for american culture in the 21st century???), and im out of the darkness, into the light, and also increasingly into...

reality. as in...mop the kitchen! do a load of dishes! clean the lint trap and run the dryer! hehehe. God is Love. I am loved. and...

-ugh- guess I have to focus on Him, my parents, my own trajectory....
and 'brush off the haters' and/or tell people to lay off the hater-ade.

:) thanks, y'all.
 

Tessa

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God is good. The more I contemplate on Jesus the more peaceful I feel. If people hate me that is their choice. It doesn't change who I am or what God thinks of me. It is God alone who can judge me or you so don't even worry about it. It is their problem, I just pray for them. God loves you and so do we. :)
 
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thanks, tessa. im...getting over it, I think. God has brought me a very, very long way. truth? I was bullied and picked on my whole life. all this psychobabble, jibber jabber...my parents just didn't have as much $$$ as the other honors kids, etc., and...yeah.

now...i dunno. they're happier, we're actually a family now, and...

i dunno. i wonder if the "schizophrenia" might, by God's grace, resolve, too...one day? in Christ, I am forgiven, saved, set free...

and...in the here and now, ive been restored and blessed with much more than i can claim to deserve. to be fair...if i was in a group home, they'd make an example out of me, like in the hospitals. and if i lived in poverty, i know id be tormented and harassed and oppressed, more than the other poor people. so in a sense, i kinda need...a buffer, against the world...because of all the stigma and...

still, God is Good, God is Love. Thanks, Tessa. :)
 
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ugh. me, yet again. so sorry about reviving this, but...guess what, y'all? I suspect it happened again, just recently.

2 voices...male and female...yelling, no words, just making noise, crying noises (mocking sort of crying noises) and...then it stopped. thing is...

it could have -not- been directed at me, but i suspect it was. not being self-centered, just....stuff like that happened at the apartment i was in before my parents were able and willing to buy this place (Praise God!), and it got...rough, especially towards the end of my stay there, at the apt. complex.

thing is...i was up and at 'em. I'd been up and at 'em since...2, 3? OK, had super vivid dreams...not nightmares per se, just...the color, the noises, too too too bright and intense...woke up, and i had this sense of...

not to try to sound overly dramatic, but a sense of dark spiritual 'junk' around me. got up, made mah mccafe (oh man...100% arabic at a cut rate...tastes better than what they sell at Aldi...Go WalMart!), laid down, had coffee, blah blah blah...


went out and about for a while, sun came up, enjoyed that and...

the yelling. its...rough. and i feel badly for people -around- me. just in my building, it looks like one lady may have taken the day off...her car is usually gone by now. and the dude next to me is not old, but he's retired. and there's an elderly retired married couple upstairs, and i think the lady has some health conditions, and....

yeah. yeah. as for me, though...I'm glad I know The Lord, and I'm glad to be -here-, in a place my parents own outright (not bragging...I'm thankful there's still reasonably priced places to be had, 'round here, and I"m thankful that God has made it possible for them to do it, and they want to do it, and it should be a good investment...plus, who wants a mortgage, anyway? LOL. get serious...) and...and...

yeah. yeah. for once, i didnt feel hurt or all that stuff, or even angry, just...blah. disillusioned, i guess. kinda...hate to say it, because i try not to be judgmental...but it sounded like full grown, adult voices, so kinda...disgusted, a bit. and oddly sad for them, too, because...

? if you hate your life that much, as an adult, and you're taking your angst and misery out on a random, Schizophrenic neighbor...

ugh. lots of that in 'the real world,' it seems. i dont get it. ive had acquaintances from other countries tell me americans have more anger and hatred in us than, say, the dutch or the british. i dont know if thats true or not...could just be my corner of The Bible Belt, honestly.

so...that's my morning. LOL. keep those prayers coming, please... :)
 
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me, yet again. heckling, taunting...it happens, with a (worse than shady) past like mine. I see that, now. other thing...

"God's work in this world is -always met with opposition-," its from a book I read, way back when. truth? I shouldn't have survived my own sins or what psychiatrists, the gay community, drug culture, etc. did to me...

but God spared me, even before I came to Christ. He is Love. I think I lean towards basic Calvinism, TULIP, etc. because...its the best explanation I can find, of why some are spared, some aren't. anyway...

so, yes: I get called a 'freak,' people insist that I have some massive criminal record (truth: I have an unpaid traffic ticket, on the official record...), and...yeah. "...speak all matter of evil against you -falsely-..."

so, I'm only alive and healthy and surprisingly intelligent, reconciled to my parents, etc...and FORGIVEN because of and in and thru Him...

and my new life, in Christ, is starting to line up with parts of the NT, so...ok. I can deal. or, better put, "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me..." and also...

I am getting better at leaning on Him, looking outward, enjoying my parents (they're such wonderful people!), etc. and...

yeah. yeah. thanks, y'all. :)
 

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