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its apparently that time again...

time to taunt and bully me, while I'm inside my own place. I don't know...how this is allowed to go on. I live in a building with other units...and then there's other buildings in the same complex/area. its nearly 11:00 PM, and...hey, I guess it doesn't matter to people who hate me. awesome.

im not...nearly as scared as I have been, at times when this happened before. not happy about it, but not really angry, either. its a small, comfortable place, so...the way its set up, there's really no where to go. maybe...ok, almost definitely....that's the point?!?!

I rebuked satan earlier today, in prayer. i don't know...my stuff hasn't been damaged, i haven't been attacked or anything, but...wow. just...wow.

please pray for me. obviously, im staying inside my place, not going anywhere....i also want some sleep. so, i pray for God's protection, mercy, and the strength I need in Christ to just...keep on living, no matter what.

thanks. :)
 
Know that you are always protected by God and your rest needs to be peaceful, but also remember not to be a hermit in your own place. Get out and enjoy life no matter what tries to come against you. Always in my prayers :hug
 
hey, thanks y'all. :)

I'm becoming less of a hermit, thank God. My fear levels have gone down a good bit. Here...I'm less worried than I have been living at other places. Next to living at my parents' house, this is about as safe as I've ever felt.

its just...blah. what to do? where to go? a lot of it is because of the mental health people. it was an issue even before I was a "trouble maker," because...??? all I can come up with is...low status, "too smart," apparently I didn't (and don't) know my place in society, and...blah. they set out to ruin my life, and they did, for a season. now...

I'm healthy, I'm smart, I'm normal....I even have my loving, kind, long suffering parents' ongoing support, which is a -miracle- , trust me...

but I'm also 35 (not old, that's not the issue...just maybe to old to enter the economy in any j-o-b I can think of...), labeled with 'Schizophrenia' (is it even...real?!?!), and trapped in the same general community that never cared for my parents or me, so...

blah. on the plus side, my parents are doing well. dad might retire in the next couple years. he likes his job and all, but...now that mama's been retired for a bit, I think he sees the appeal.

and then what? a lot of this happened because (apparently) my parents' careers were in jeopardy, largely because of the mental health people (long story), blah blah blah...so much unnecessary drama and nonsense. mama ended her career on a high note, dad will do the same. i hope to somehow be out of the clinic before dad retires.

ok. kinda rambled. this stuff gets -rough- at times. and the thing is...i don't know these people, but the stuff they yell, sometimes that i hear when coming in or going out...

lies and half-truths about me are apparently circulating....just like always, especially after I entered Mental Health, Inc. blah. what to do, now?

thanks again. :)
 
Jesus said to love God, love yourself, and love one another.

It all starts with loving yourself because God loved you first.

CE, you been through so much BS in your life and you need to raise yourself and stop placing the world's burden on yourself and blaming your issues that keeps you down and start to give yourself some credit.

Your a good dude and very very intelligent. Stop worrying about the world. You are placing a huge burden on yourself.
 
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You know what the best way to deal with bullies? Ignoring them. Trust me, speaking as an ex- bully myself they're just seeking attention and an reaction out of you. Same with Internet trolls. (which I used to be as well.) If you stop giving them attention they will learn that it just isn't fun to pick on you anymore.



All you can do for them is love them despite their flaws and pray for them that they will repent and turn to trust Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I'm actually living proof that sometimes it works. :) Anyways, a bunch of prayers, hugs, and Christian love headed your way,.. incoming! :hug
 
hi! i was actually, randomly thinking about your posts the other day. God is Good! glad that you're back here for a while. how's it going?

I dunno...to each their own, for right now...a condo/apt. is about what I can handle, you know? as the Lord continues moving in my life...maybe I'll be up to snuff and get on a lil house with some land, some distance between me and the next house...who knows?

thanks. :)
 
hi! i was actually, randomly thinking about your posts the other day. God is Good! glad that you're back here for a while. how's it going?

I dunno...to each their own, for right now...a condo/apt. is about what I can handle, you know? as the Lord continues moving in my life...maybe I'll be up to snuff and get on a lil house with some land, some distance between me and the next house...who knows?

thanks. :)
Hi CE. Life is a marathon. We can only keep pushing forward and waiting on our Lord. My life is one of almost non-stop turmoil but I believe this life prepares us for the next and, if this is true, I must have some huge purpose awaiting me. We had to abandon our home in Houston. We tried moving to New Zealand but they don't want some old guy with disability so we moved to Hawaii instead. This is much much better than corporate nazi Texas. We are living in a cramped little 2-bedroom apartment until the Houston house sells. Then we will look for a house here until our son gets trained for a skill in demand in New Zealand. We will piggy-back on him into New Zealand at that time.
 
its apparently that time again...

time to taunt and bully me, while I'm inside my own place. I don't know...how this is allowed to go on. I live in a building with other units...and then there's other buildings in the same complex/area. its nearly 11:00 PM, and...hey, I guess it doesn't matter to people who hate me. awesome.

im not...nearly as scared as I have been, at times when this happened before. not happy about it, but not really angry, either. its a small, comfortable place, so...the way its set up, there's really no where to go. maybe...ok, almost definitely....that's the point?!?!

I rebuked satan earlier today, in prayer. i don't know...my stuff hasn't been damaged, i haven't been attacked or anything, but...wow. just...wow.

please pray for me. obviously, im staying inside my place, not going anywhere....i also want some sleep. so, i pray for God's protection, mercy, and the strength I need in Christ to just...keep on living, no matter what.

thanks. :)
praying for your safety, wellbeing and peace of mind.
 
me, yet again. :)

my life is far better than it ever was before. you know what's lame? people in the psychobabble industry rip families apart. encourage one to blame parents. then, encourage parents to get rid of offspring. blah. and so...

im grateful to The Good Lord and my parents. this place to live is...a massive, undeserved blessing. I don't mean that in a false humility way. i mean, i needed a safe place to live, no doubt. but i cannot claim to deserve it, especially from my (long suffering, kind, loving) parents. so, there's that. God is Love.

i wish the taunting and such would stop, I really do. I don't know that it will. I've prayed for it to stop, then I tried to zero in on something bigger: God's -perfect will- for me. not that He wants me bullied...I doubt that, obviously...but this is mild in comparison to what's happened in years past, what -could- be happening right now, and...

blah. i think it just wears on me, that's all. people with psych labels are often ridiculed, victimized, etc...so, really, this is luxury living, compared to what many "mental patients" go thru.

ok. thank you all for the prayers, replies, support, etc. :)
 
me, yet again. :)

my life is far better than it ever was before. you know what's lame? people in the psychobabble industry rip families apart. encourage one to blame parents. then, encourage parents to get rid of offspring. blah. and so...

im grateful to The Good Lord and my parents. this place to live is...a massive, undeserved blessing. I don't mean that in a false humility way. i mean, i needed a safe place to live, no doubt. but i cannot claim to deserve it, especially from my (long suffering, kind, loving) parents. so, there's that. God is Love.

i wish the taunting and such would stop, I really do. I don't know that it will. I've prayed for it to stop, then I tried to zero in on something bigger: God's -perfect will- for me. not that He wants me bullied...I doubt that, obviously...but this is mild in comparison to what's happened in years past, what -could- be happening right now, and...

blah. i think it just wears on me, that's all. people with psych labels are often ridiculed, victimized, etc...so, really, this is luxury living, compared to what many "mental patients" go thru.

ok. thank you all for the prayers, replies, support, etc. :)
Yes people are cruel. I've heard and been labeled from one end of the psychiatric spectrum to the other. From "He's faking it and a liar" to "he's in need of psychiatric help and needs to be committed." The main thing they try to do is minimize, generalize and trivialize what happened to me. I know of no one who has been through what I have been through and still maintained their sanity. Before our daughter turned on us and received her huge pay off she told me after talking to her "The things you said happened are what serial killers are made of." Yes people are cruel, especially when large sums of money are involved.
 
just rolled up to my place a bit ago. some hecklers were saying "yeah, he's got a warrant out for him" and "he had his opportunity!"

blah. just...blah. I don't do drugs, I don't even drink. I was, however, poor and very vulnerable until quite recently, so...yeah. Poor in America=watch your back, basically.

I dunno. One would think that there'd be...not even compassion, just less cruelty, coming from people I don't think I even know. I don't get it, honestly. "mental patient/trouble maker" and/or "uppity mental patient" = oppression.

maybe its because my parents' did not lose their careers (something of a miracle, in and of itself) that the taunting and bullying are going back up a couple notches? I dunno. I just hope and pray to be able to keep on going in life, even if the taunting continues.
 
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