yeah, right. It's not that easy. They've been making me so mad. I just want to leave and never come back home, but I can't. It would be nice to leave the day after I graduate from highschool, but where would I go? I have no idea what God has planned for my life.
They say I go to church too much and that they're not going to let me go much anymore.
I'm part of a Bible study/Ministry group that the youth pastor at my church started in September. He wanted 8 teens in grades 9-12 to be part of it, but he only got 4. One girl doesn't come anymore because her dad is just like my dad and won't let her be part of the group. Another guy is still in the group, but he won't be coming for a few months. So now it's just me, another kid from youth group that lives on his own, and the youth pastor. We have learned a one-verse gospel presentation and we wrote out our testimonies to use to lead into the presentation. We read "The Case For Christ Student Edition" and we are learning a lot of other stuff and how to answer people's questions. It's really great and a lot of fun too. We meet once a week. Sometimes it's at the church and sometimes we go to places like subway for the meetings. Yesterday we met at the pastor's house and he fed us. We planned on going to Mission Scranton in PA to help out there and lead into our testimony or presentation through a survey. That didn't work out because of other engagements we had on that day, so we changed it to going to a local university on dec. 4. I wrote it on the calendar and told my parents that we were going to the university instead, and I guess they were okay with it, because they didn't say anything. But yesterday when I got home from the meeting my mom said that I can't go because she doesn't want me selling my religion to strangers like Jehovah's witnesses. She said that there are enough missionaries outside the US. I was soooooo mad after that conversation. You can't really call it a conversation, because I pretty much didn't say anything. I'm soooooo sick of this. They call themselves Chrsitians, well sort of. THEY AREN'T. We have been planning on this trip for over a month and we have been learning the one-verse gospel presentation and how to talk to people and stuff. I was looking forward to it, even though I am a little nervous. I can't just not go anyways. It would just be the youth pastor and 1 teen. I can't believe I have to go through this crap now. When will this end!!!! When will God take this storm away from me!!! Why can't I have parents that care? Why can't I have Godly parents? Why can't I be raised in a Christian home? Why can't I have parents that aren't of the world? Why can't I have a happy family? Why?! Why?! At least now the youth pastor will know the truth about them. I obviously can't not show up at the university that day, or he would be looking for me and wonder what happened. I have to tell him this Sunday that I can't come(if I can't be pursuasive enough to change this by then). He'll ask me why I can't come. Unless I lie,(which I won't, because it's wrong, and I want him to see how fake they are.) I will tell him that my parents won't let me go because they think that I'm getting brainwashed and they don't want me "selling my religion to strangers." Maybe he would try to talk to them. Maybe they would listen. yeah right, they're so closed minded they would never listen to him. They must think he's pretty stupid to believe what he believes anyways. They think I am. But I'm afraid if I tell the Pastor that my parents won't let me go, that my parents would never let me go to church again. They're like that, very egotistic, and always trying to impress people.
The world revolves around money, sex, and science. Money and science are what my parents seem to live by, rather than by faith. I'm sick of it. I hate it.