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Seeing yourself as 3rd person

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humble soul

humble soul

On Sabbatical from Rome
Member
Looking at yourself objectively.
As if you have been given someone to look after in this life.
We all have been given someone to take care of in this life. Ourselves.
We need to nurture this person. Treat them like a needy child sometimes. Praise them when they need praising.gently scolding when necessary.
We are responsible for this person's life. We need to make sure they don't waste it.
We need to discuss this person's future with God. Like co-parenting with God. God is the ideal go to man for this job. Always seek his advice when not sure about this person's life.
 
I've often thought there are two of me. The carer and the cared for.
The adult and the child.
Problem is when the child wants to run the show, ....all the time.....of course the child does need to let off some steam sometimes, hog the limelight and run the show. But not too much. Balance.
If the adult is in charge with too much authority, we become a boring person, ......in my opinion.
 
I learned a lot about myself after taking home-videos of family get-togethers. I saw how my trying to be funny could be seen as just being a jackass. LOL.
 
When I've played the adult role too much, I get stressed. and I notice other people are more naturally suited to the adult role anyway. They can be far more intimidating than me. More forceful. They love the adult role it seems. I never have.
 
humble soul said:
When I've played the adult role too much, I get stressed. and I notice other people are more naturally suited to the adult role anyway. They can be far more intimidating than me. More forceful. They love the adult role it seems. I never have.
Click to expand...
I used to be a people pleaser and threw money around when I had it. Bought my friends, but soon appreciation turned to expectation. Me making people laugh became a stressful chore to keep them distracted/entertained. A prison evangelist who worked at the refinery called me out on my people pleasing. Thus began the descent into introspection/high blood pressure/depression.....what was wrong with me? Why am I afraid of people? Questions had to be answered. Denial no longer worked. What were those vague memories layered so deeply? OMG! Now I remember....OMG! OMG! Father......I hurt so much...
 
daninthelionsden said:
Me making people laugh became a stressful chore to keep them distracted/entertained
Click to expand...
Is that the way you see me? A people pleaser?
I don't think you could call me that now. I'm too grumpy. I used to be somewhat of a people pleaser. I still have a small streak in me which is not altogether bad. Better than being aggressive all the time.
 
daninthelionsden said:
I used to be a people pleaser and threw money around when I had it. Bought my friends, but soon appreciation turned to expectation. Me making people laugh became a stressful chore to keep them distracted/entertained. A prison evangelist who worked at the refinery called me out on my people pleasing. Thus began the descent into introspection/high blood pressure/depression.....what was wrong with me? Why am I afraid of people? Questions had to be answered. Denial no longer worked. What were those vague memories layered so deeply? OMG! Now I remember....OMG! OMG! Father......I hurt so much...
Click to expand...
I just hope you haven't gone too far the other way now dan.
Some people pleasing is not altogether bad.
Selfish grumpiness is not the answer either. (Which I tend to err on the side of)
 
humble soul said:
Looking at yourself objectively.
As if you have been given someone to look after in this life.
We all have been given someone to take care of in this life. Ourselves.
We need to nurture this person. Treat them like a needy child sometimes. Praise them when they need praising.gently scolding when necessary.
We are responsible for this person's life. We need to make sure they don't waste it.
We need to discuss this person's future with God. Like co-parenting with God. God is the ideal go to man for this job. Always seek his advice when not sure about this person's life.
Click to expand...

It's still subjectively. But instead of looking at them as adult and child, try seeing them as, spirit and soul for a better perspective.
 
humble soul said:
Is that the way you see me? A people pleaser?
I don't think you could call me that now. I'm too grumpy. I used to be somewhat of a people pleaser. I still have a small streak in me which is not altogether bad. Better than being aggressive all the time.
Click to expand...
I say this in all humility....please don't take my life and make it about you. You're not playing nice.
 
EvolvingChristian said:
We are social creatures that want to be accepted and liked by others.
Click to expand...
This is true, but one must understand WHY they're doing this. I think there are healthy reasons then there are those desperately covering up to distract themselves and others from intense internal pain. Many great comedians suffered abuse in their childhoods...
Jonathan Winters
Chevy Chase
Robin Williams
Ellen Degenerous
Rosey O'Donnel
Rodney Dangerfield
 
humble soul said:
I just hope you haven't gone too far the other way now dan.
Some people pleasing is not altogether bad.
Selfish grumpiness is not the answer either. (Which I tend to err on the side of)
Click to expand...
The memories flood in whether I like it or not and whether anyone else likes it or not. I can't help it and no longer appease others desire to have me cover it up. I can laugh like crazy at "Kitty lawyer" on Zoom then fall back into bad memories a few minutes later. I find situation comedies on TV a good distraction. I like a good Joke. I like to see a smile on the faces of others. Just don't expect me to keep people entertained. I can't keep it up for long.
 
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