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Should An Adult Date A Minor?

ezra

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An 14 year old has no business dating an 18 year old. It's not just a separation in physical age. At 14 that child has yet to go through several life stages. That includes maturity, having experiences, and even knowing what the heck they want to do with themselves. An 18 year old would have a mental choke hold on them. And the odds that things would get sexual are too great. I wouldn't trust someone that old with my 14 year old no matter what. There was a time when such an age gap didn't mean anything due to large scale societal pressure to marry and have children. Heck, the 18 year old would more likely be 20 +, well established and looking for a wife. And during said time women had to get married and have kids as early as possible because their lives didn't have value otherwise. But we do not live in those days and more often than not the older person in these situations just wants sex and nothing else. Just cold hearted exploitation.

Age gaps don't matter when both parties are of age. May-December romance? As long as the younger party is over 18 I don't care. But before then? No way. The loosest I could maybe get is a 17 year old dating a 20 year old. And thats a BIG maybe. Good Lord just wait one more year in that case.
agreed
 

StoveBolts

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An 14 year old has no business dating an 18 year old. It's not just a separation in physical age. At 14 that child has yet to go through several life stages. That includes maturity, having experiences, and even knowing what the heck they want to do with themselves. An 18 year old would have a mental choke hold on them. And the odds that things would get sexual are too great. I wouldn't trust someone that old with my 14 year old no matter what. There was a time when such an age gap didn't mean anything due to large scale societal pressure to marry and have children. Heck, the 18 year old would more likely be 20 +, well established and looking for a wife. And during said time women had to get married and have kids as early as possible because their lives didn't have value otherwise. But we do not live in those days and more often than not the older person in these situations just wants sex and nothing else. Just cold hearted exploitation.

Age gaps don't matter when both parties are of age. May-December romance? As long as the younger party is over 18 I don't care. But before then? No way. The loosest I could maybe get is a 17 year old dating a 20 year old. And thats a BIG maybe. Good Lord just wait one more year in that case.
Exactly!
My son is 20 and when "grandma" aka cougar wanted to hook him up with a 14 year old he inherently understood this gal had some issues...
 

ezra

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Exactly!
My son is 20 and when "grandma" aka cougar wanted to hook him up with a 14 year old he inherently understood this gal had some issues...
there needs to be another look at this reverse the roles of female age 20 to boy age 14 we are seeing female teachers have affairs with young students at age 14 many young guys would love nothing more than to have sx with a older woman. even though all thy know about sex is what they rad or seen in a magazine . so this a very serious subject .its good to discuss on a forum but more something that has to be addressed in a home . growing up no body ever explained abstinence . i am not saying as a young guy growing up.i dated lots of Girls put notches in by belt.. however when i did youth ministry and had room full of wild teens just waiting for the time... i put it straight forward what was out there.. many did not like what i said even older adults.. things like this has to be ADDRESSED. other wise they are going to find out on there own.. end results could be std unplanned pregnancy .better to tell the truth than step around it
 

StoveBolts

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there needs to be another look at this reverse the roles of female age 20 to boy age 14 we are seeing female teachers have affairs with young students at age 14 many young guys would love nothing more than to have sx with a older woman. even though all thy know about sex is what they rad or seen in a magazine . so this a very serious subject .its good to discuss on a forum but more something that has to be addressed in a home . growing up no body ever explained abstinence . i am not saying as a young guy growing up.i dated lots of Girls put notches in by belt.. however when i did youth ministry and had room full of wild teens just waiting for the time... i put it straight forward what was out there.. many did not like what i said even older adults.. things like this has to be ADDRESSED. other wise they are going to find out on there own.. end results could be std unplanned pregnancy .better to tell the truth than step around it
You got that right!
When i was in Jr. High, Van Halen was very popular and it was every boys dream to have sex with a hot female teacher. I'm sure this song spurred our imagination and desire.

I'm glad you were able to go in front of teens and have that kind of talk with them. I'm sure many of them needed it!
 

ezra

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You got that right!
When i was in Jr. High, Van Halen was very popular and it was every boys dream to have sex with a hot female teacher. I'm sure this song spurred our imagination and desire.

I'm glad you were able to go in front of teens and have that kind of talk with them. I'm sure many of them needed it!
when i was in school i had the old war hors teachers that was nearing retirement age my math teacher had kids my age.. this is a serious issue even in our very rural community. thy arrested a bag boy around age 40 give or take.. child porn on his phone.. i dont think he was a pedophile but still child porn? what kind of excitement comes from a young child.......... no way off limits so this subject goes deeper than the O.P . i had on young girl while i was teaching kept standing up adjusting her type warm up/sweat pant along with her blouse . i finally figured it out..she was pregnant and showing other teens her badge of having sex... i may be rude/crude point blank ..but i tell the truth of life experiences.. i even had try break up a fight in church parking lot a minor girl pretty good size and a small gal adult age say 18 or so. needless to say the younger gal was winning.. needless say the older girl had a skirt on.. so you can just imagine what i was seeing.. the pastor pulled up jumped out dragged the bigger girl off. while i kept the other gal down.. the pastor was about 6:2 close 300 lbs. compared me 5;11 maybe 190 lbs .. yeah i got war stories
 

StoveBolts

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when i was in school i had the old war hors teachers that was nearing retirement age my math teacher had kids my age.. this is a serious issue even in our very rural community. thy arrested a bag boy around age 40 give or take.. child porn on his phone.. i dont think he was a pedophile but still child porn? what kind of excitement comes from a young child.......... no way off limits so this subject goes deeper than the O.P . i had on young girl while i was teaching kept standing up adjusting her type warm up/sweat pant along with her blouse . i finally figured it out..she was pregnant and showing other teens her badge of having sex... i may be rude/crude point blank ..but i tell the truth of life experiences.. i even had try break up a fight in church parking lot a minor girl pretty good size and a small gal adult age say 18 or so. needless to say the younger gal was winning.. needless say the older girl had a skirt on.. so you can just imagine what i was seeing.. the pastor pulled up jumped out dragged the bigger girl off. while i kept the other gal down.. the pastor was about 6:2 close 300 lbs. compared me 5;11 maybe 190 lbs .. yeah i got war stories
No kidding... Wow. I think it all comes down to human nature...

I do recall a teacher when I was in 1st grade. He always had young boys over for popcorn and movies. I only went once. My older brother told me the teacher fondled him. Makes ya sick.

Nothing new under the sun....
 
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Here's what I think. One issue is the inherent power an older person has over a younger.
Even if in some cases a younger person seems mature. That is very rarely more than looks or a put on show.
It's like the case with Woody Allen getting involved with an adopted daughter. It could be argued the taboo of being with a sister or daughter wouldn't apply because they aren't biologically related.
The problem is society can't allow things like that because it puts all young people at risk who are around older non biological people.
Same with a twenty year old and fourteen year old. They are not on comparable footing. Not only is the specific young person at risk, but if society acts like it's ok than it opens the door to countless people being at risk.
Our society, including unfortunately much of the American church, is too much into pushing sexual growth way too early. Too many people think it's cute or important for their kid's popularity. Not having sex usually, but dating and dressing older and things like that.
Parents that let a younger child "date" and older person have some kind of problem.
 

HeIsRisen2018

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Any twenty year old that hooks up with a fourteen year old will more than likely wind up behind bars or at least in a courtroom. That is just really pushing the envelope.
 

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