What's new
  • Do not use Chrome Incognito when registering as it freezes the registration page.
  • Guest, Join Papa Zoom today for some uplifting biblical encouragement! --> Daily Verses
  • No longer will OSAS vx OSNAS be allowed to be debated, argued, or discussed in theology forum. Too much time is required to monitor and rescources used to debate this subject which hasn't been definitively decided in 3,000 years.

So embarrassed...

Reformed05

Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2019
Messages
327
Gender
Female
That really depends on the church. I have attended both ends of the spectrum. Our current church, and the one we last attended in California are rather conservative and have no problem with parents taking their kids out of the service to handle the situation.
This is absolutely true. In my statement I wasn't really referring to discipline inside the church, though there is no way to know that, ha, ha, and was speaking of anywhere else.
 

StoveBolts

Staff member
Administrator
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
15,347
Gender
Male
Luminous_Rose
I had taken many"biblical" parenting classes but they never really addressed the core issues, especially as the kids got older. I wish I had found this audio earlier and it really helped me to keep my family together and reconnect with my kids.

 

Luminous_Rose

Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
932
Gender
Female
I understand. It gets harder when they become teenagers and they scream that they hate you. You cannot take it personal. Just remember what Jesus said on the Cross. Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. Easy to say but at times oh so hard to do.

At our church, the kids only need to make it through the Lords supper and then they get to go to class. Is your congregation the same?

BTW, earlier you said something about another lying to your child and putting hateful things into their head, like you were not the real mom. I hope I don't come off wrong, but if that were me, I'd put a stop to that. Can you talk to your husband and let him know how detrimental that is so you can both confront that on a united front?

For me, I made some mistakes by not teaching our son well enough at a young age to respect his Mother. It's something I had to circle back to in his late teens. I basically created the issue when he was young. It wasn't easy to correct once I realized my mistake.

I guess I'm saying that your children need to both know that you love them and they need to obey you because they desire to please you. This is hard enough to foster and you don't need anyone undermining that.

I pray I'm not coming off as judgmental or over-opinionated. Your in a hard place.
There are no classes at our church or Sunday school/Kid's church. It doesn't bother me, though. There is a break halfway through and then afterwards they run around and play.

Yes, we don't put our kids around that person after we learned that. When I was having my second child at the hospital I figured to ask my sister to watch my child so she could also play with her cousin. Well, it seems that even almost 2 years later, new things about that time are coming to light and she remembers it well. My sister's supposed husband is the one that has said such things and my child is afraid of him. I will never know everything that happened 100% because my sister says everything was fine, but I know she is telling me lies. We keep our kids away from them. It is so hard because I haven't told my parents and they bring them up in conversation and then my child ends up with a meltdown. I know it does not do her much good to see her aunt or cousin even if that guy is not with them. So yes, the only time she saw my sister's guy was at a funeral and I didn't know he would be there because he rarely comes down to visit with my sister. It hurts a lot to hear the things she said he told her and even not to believe in God because he isn't real. I feel guilty about having her even around this guy, but I didn't know this kind of thing would even happen =( So we don't put her around them ever.
 

Luminous_Rose

Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
932
Gender
Female
Luminous_Rose
I had taken many"biblical" parenting classes but they never really addressed the core issues, especially as the kids got older. I wish I had found this audio earlier and it really helped me to keep my family together and reconnect with my kids.

Thanks =)
 
Joined
Oct 20, 2016
Messages
951
So, at church this evening I took the kids to church while my husband needed to do a much needed errand. My parents weren't there like they usually were due to other things.

My kids were so good for like 5 minutes and then...disaster. My 4 year old decides to go get a drink in the water fountain after I try to offer her her own cup with water in it that I brought...yeah NOPE. She runs and comes back...not too bad. Then she decides to shut herself in the baby cry room with a loud SLAM. She sits again and then during prayer she gets up and runs around the front in front of everybody. By this point I am mortified. I am trying to tell her to come when she is running around like a mad woman while holding my 1 year old who thinks this is a blast. Other adults get up to help and some of them call her by name telling her to come to me.

After taking her out of there then cooling down and bringing her back in, I sit her next to me and my 1 year old...oh...money-see-monkey-do! She tries to run off like big sis for the rest of the service. My 4 year old asks for a book, I hand her one and then she chucks it at my forehead and says, "NO! I DIDN'T WANT THAT BOOK! I WANT THAT ONE OVER THERE!" UGH! Yeah, no more books tonight for you, kid.

I am the introvert...this stuff is HARD. After service my 4 year old immediately takes off and all these parents are coming to hug me. It doesn't make me feel better...I hate all the attention. My husband comes in later than intended and I head to the car and scream...and cry...in the car. I am the introvert...why did God give me the talkative strong-willed child?! My husband tells me, "So she won't depend on you your whole life." What a point...but the day by day has been this way at home. I am exhausted and feeding my sugar addiction terribly as my sorry attempt of a coping mechanism.

Just pray for me and my family...that things get better. Do kids always embarrass their parents this much? Do kids always hurt their parents this much? I feel so lost...
Always. Without kids, we would never see a side of ourselves that needs addressing. Kids show us so many wonderful and not so wonderful things. It is all for growth. Remember, in the whole scheme of things, this wasn't so bad. Besides, you now have a story to embarrass her when her first date shows up to meet you years from now. Praying for you and yours.
 

Edward

Member
Joined
Sep 18, 2012
Messages
11,603
Gender
Male
Christian
Yes
That's the thing, though...she has the whole row to get up and move around. I never expect small kids to sit and be still. It never realistically happens. Although, I do expect they can go back and forth within our pew and read a book, draw, color, etc. for almost 1 hour. I don't do time outs near that long at this age, either, because that just frustrates both sides and is realistic.

I carried out the discipline I felt necessary outside, away from everyone else. I feel I have tried everything to get her to listen and do what I am saying. I have never seen discipline not be so effective.

I feel like people at church don't think I can control my child. She knows when it is only me I am out numbered so she acts out. It doesn't help that a family member told her a bunch of junk that was untrue like that I am not her mom and apparently they told her to kill her mom and dad and this not listening thing has been a struggle ever since that time. She just seems to believe that jerk of a family member even though deep down she knows I am mom. -sigh-
Don't be too hard on yourself about it Sister. The Lord instructed us to, bring up our children in the Lord for this is right...and so you have your kids in church, obeying God. I'm just guessing, but maybe the Lord got a chuckle or a good belly laugh at watching your children get out of hand?!

Maybee....they were under the power of the Holy Spirit?! I'm kidding, but did you lay it at Jesus's feet and ask Him for help as they were going wild? I think I would have!

I remember when my kids were that age, and people would tell me, don't worry, it gets easier as they get older...and don't you believe them! It gets harder! I'm sorry Sister, I don't mean to be a downer, lol. But seriously, the Lord actually told me before, that I should ask Him for help with even the smallest insignificant things and He will be glad to help!! And He has. So don't stress about it, just ask for a little help.
 

Who Me

Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2018
Messages
442
Gender
Male
So, at church this evening I took the kids to church while my husband needed to do a much needed errand. My parents weren't there like they usually were due to other things.

My kids were so good for like 5 minutes and then...disaster. My 4 year old decides to go get a drink in the water fountain after I try to offer her her own cup with water in it that I brought...yeah NOPE. She runs and comes back...not too bad. Then she decides to shut herself in the baby cry room with a loud SLAM. She sits again and then during prayer she gets up and runs around the front in front of everybody. By this point I am mortified. I am trying to tell her to come when she is running around like a mad woman while holding my 1 year old who thinks this is a blast. Other adults get up to help and some of them call her by name telling her to come to me.

After taking her out of there then cooling down and bringing her back in, I sit her next to me and my 1 year old...oh...money-see-monkey-do! She tries to run off like big sis for the rest of the service. My 4 year old asks for a book, I hand her one and then she chucks it at my forehead and says, "NO! I DIDN'T WANT THAT BOOK! I WANT THAT ONE OVER THERE!" UGH! Yeah, no more books tonight for you, kid.

I am the introvert...this stuff is HARD. After service my 4 year old immediately takes off and all these parents are coming to hug me. It doesn't make me feel better...I hate all the attention. My husband comes in later than intended and I head to the car and scream...and cry...in the car. I am the introvert...why did God give me the talkative strong-willed child?! My husband tells me, "So she won't depend on you your whole life." What a point...but the day by day has been this way at home. I am exhausted and feeding my sugar addiction terribly as my sorry attempt of a coping mechanism.

Just pray for me and my family...that things get better. Do kids always embarrass their parents this much? Do kids always hurt their parents this much? I feel so lost...
Can I ask a question?

When you go into church is it stright from the street into the santuaury or is there a vestibule area where people mill about before and after the service?
If there is why not stay in the vestibule when you have children with you. You will be able to hear the sermon ( with dificulty) but the children can play, run around and not distract the congragation.

If that is not possible and you have to attend church with all your children. If there is no creche or junior sunday school etc then it is a case of 'Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of War!'
By that I mean if they play up and run around durring prayers, well they run around durring prayers.
If they make a noise they make a noise.
It is to prevent this that creche's and sunday schools are run.

A story from a few years ago.
Our pastor was doing the childrens talk prior to them going out to sunday school and he was explaining what was being sent in the samaratans purseshoe boxes.
He put the boys box down and was asking what would be in a girls box.
When one of the hyper active toddlers escaped from an embarassed mum. He walked up to the inviting open shoe box reached in and pulled out a hat and put it on.
This was a box for a 14 year old, his head disappeared and the church eruppted in laughter.
It took pastor a while to stop laughing himself.

Enjoy your children while they are so young and free.
All to soon they will be copying people you don't want them to copy, having opinions that cause rows and you will be looking back on these embarasments with foundness because your teenagers don't want to be seen out with you.

Been there done that, it is never as bad as you think it is.
 

Luminous_Rose

Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
932
Gender
Female
Can I ask a question?

When you go into church is it stright from the street into the santuaury or is there a vestibule area where people mill about before and after the service?
If there is why not stay in the vestibule when you have children with you. You will be able to hear the sermon ( with dificulty) but the children can play, run around and not distract the congragation.

If that is not possible and you have to attend church with all your children. If there is no creche or junior sunday school etc then it is a case of 'Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of War!'
By that I mean if they play up and run around durring prayers, well they run around durring prayers.
If they make a noise they make a noise.
It is to prevent this that creche's and sunday schools are run.

A story from a few years ago.
Our pastor was doing the childrens talk prior to them going out to sunday school and he was explaining what was being sent in the samaratans purseshoe boxes.
He put the boys box down and was asking what would be in a girls box.
When one of the hyper active toddlers escaped from an embarassed mum. He walked up to the inviting open shoe box reached in and pulled out a hat and put it on.
This was a box for a 14 year old, his head disappeared and the church eruppted in laughter.
It took pastor a while to stop laughing himself.

Enjoy your children while they are so young and free.
All to soon they will be copying people you don't want them to copy, having opinions that cause rows and you will be looking back on these embarasments with foundness because your teenagers don't want to be seen out with you.

Been there done that, it is never as bad as you think it is.
Our church building is small, so when you walk in it is a small area with bathrooms, a cry room, a sound room, and a water fountain. It is connected to the indoor sanctuary. Either way, I prefer sitting in with everyone.

There is no Sunday school, which is okay. Even if there was one, I know I wouldn't use it anyway.

Haha funny story. I would have been embarrassed if I were the mom, though.

I am over it so here is to moving forward.
 

JohnDB

Staff member
Administrator
Joined
Aug 16, 2015
Messages
7,213
Gender
Male
I've personally made my parents cringe and glow red from embarrassment from my antics at church.
But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me"
And gave one of his sternest warnings for anyone who hurt them. "I'll make them wish they were never born"
 

Luminous_Rose

Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
932
Gender
Female
I've personally made my parents cringe and glow red from embarrassment from my antics at church.
But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me"
And gave one of his sternest warnings for anyone who hurt them. "I'll make them wish they were never born"
True that. I remember my mom telling me I embarrassed her by running around in Wendy's and playing stay away and that my dad couldn't help but laugh. Haha.
 

2020 Hosting Fee

Total amount
$150.00
Goal
$667.40
Top