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    There is salvation in no other, for there is not another name under heaven having been given among men, by which it behooves us to be saved."

[__ Praise __] so, so much to be thankful for...

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OK. I'm -not- a big Rick Warren fan. Nothing against the dude, but...reading The Purpose Driven Life didn't teach me much about actual faith in Christ, I'm afraid. Kind of like...Splenda is kinda like sugar, but not really...or chicory can substitute for coffee in a pinch, but most people will run to the real thing once possible (unless its instant, of course).

Having said that...he's got some catchy sayings, and one of them is: "attitude of gratitude." I didn't mean to be an ingrate and such, it just kinda...snuck up on me, I guess. I get picked on a lot, I pick up a lot of static from people around me. Just today, I was out at a convenience store near mah new place, and the lady clerk was surly as could be. I mean...whoa. I -get- that its 7 AM or whatever, but...c'mon, lady; smile a little! oh, and...a small bag would have been nice.

but, yeah: attitude of gratitude! :)

I Praise you, God, for having pity on me, a sinner, yet again....and, honestly, time and time again. Let me count the ways I'm thankful...

a) my parents have warmed up to me and its ongoing; b) i dont have to work a low wage job where I'll be mercilessly picked on and then terminated when I get uppity; c) the old shrinks and counselors, etc. are not 'treating' me d) my new place is awesome, and by His grace, my parents own it, lock, stock+barrel ; e) my vehicle is clean, safe, and running smoothly; f) I'm physically healthy, albeit tubby...I Just need to diet, lose weight, work out, like 60% of America; g) my 'severe mental illness' may not be a dream come true, but I take 2 things now (Rx), and they're covered by disability and get the job done, no major problems; h) i even get to take massive doses of antioxidants, vitamins, etc. not a panacea, but...my skin is good, my allergies are better, and (here's the big one) I tolerate the tranq a whole, whole lot better. and...

CFnet. Eugene, reba, fhg, airdancer, jasonc, tessa...people i've 'met' (so to speak) here pray for and with me, and i pray for them, too. Compare this site to, say, the many forums for people in psych 'treatment...'

man oh man. some people need rx drugs, no doubt, but those places...now, I find them more than a little bit depressing. One of them I post on now and then...a person wrote in about being on an (involuntary) long acting injection of a newer antipsychotic. in a lot of places, a doc signs an order, the person has to show up and they're injected with a drug that lasts 1 month, give or take. so, this person wrote into this particular forum saying that he/she was having trouble -breathing- on 'treatment...'

and because this individual is a 'mental patient,' the shrink won't do anything, the treatment is involuntary, and...what to do? blah. that could easily be me, possibly even worse off. i didn't have major advice, except...try to get over to a family doctor or some other medical person who would keep an eye out for -safety-, a factor in 'treatment' that often seems to be lost on the psych 'experts' (trust me on this one...).

rambling. i have so much to be thankful for, I really. 'twas grace that saved a wretch like me. i was not a sinless victim, in years past. i kind of wonder if...well, given how mightily God has moved in my life, I do sometimes wonder if maybe I was just so lost, even before the drugs and illnesses (physical and 'mental') that...I ended up being spared in part because of 'mitigating factors,' or...something. I don't know..."put aside what is behind and press forward..."

I'm getting there. :) thanks for reading, btw.
 
OK. I'm -not- a big Rick Warren fan. Nothing against the dude, but...reading The Purpose Driven Life didn't teach me much about actual faith in Christ, I'm afraid. Kind of like...Splenda is kinda like sugar, but not really...or chicory can substitute for coffee in a pinch, but most people will run to the real thing once possible (unless its instant, of course).
You show great discernment brother.
Having said that...he's got some catchy sayings, and one of them is: "attitude of gratitude." I didn't mean to be an ingrate and such, it just kinda...snuck up on me, I guess. I get picked on a lot, I pick up a lot of static from people around me. Just today, I was out at a convenience store near mah new place, and the lady clerk was surly as could be. I mean...whoa. I -get- that its 7 AM or whatever, but...c'mon, lady; smile a little! oh, and...a small bag would have been nice.
And yet with a loving heart you find diamonds in the rough.

You continue to grow in the Lord even bringing comfort to others who are in need. God bless you and I am very joyful to see this!

God Bless!
 
thank you, very much. i think...

brain damage is -terrible-. im not trying to throw a pity party here...by God's grace, I seem to be coming to -reality-, to whatever extent possible or is in His will or...?

but, c'mon. i must take a moderate dose 'atypical' tranq daily. that's not ideal, but..it is what it is. its really the shock 'treatments,' etc. that did me in, and it wasn't just the tic disorders and obvious reduction in IQ (from 120 down to 95-105...now I"m apparently up there, somewhere in 'take him seriously' territory, lol).

happens everyday. street drugs, rx drugs, head injuries, accidents, overdoses, and...psychiatrists (im mixed on the shrinks...no real hatred here, just...i get tired of it all...).

anyway...

iq estimate is up, that's great. know what's more important? really...of vital importance? i get the sense that, despite ongoing tranq 'treatment,' my senses have been and are being restored unto me. That's The Lord's work in my life and mind and...wow. cannot claim to deserve, but I sure do need it, big time.

thanks for praising my discernment. again, i think of it as a much-needed blessing from God. I don't have an apostasy or heresy detector that beeps loudly the instant Joel Osteen comes on the tv, but...

thru reading and the pentecostal program and Christ's work in my heart of hearts, ive been given the analytical skills and...and...well, the growing, developing gift of discernment.

the lord has poured out upon me, and again..practically speaking, i need this. i need this place to live, i need my vehicle, i need an aesthetically pleasing face, i need hair even (long story..), i need good health (who doesn't?), i need...

serious transformation and ongoing mercy and pity, compassion and love. i am no longer a 'weakling' or even a 'hot house flower,' but...

hiv/aids, drugs, pills, i used to be ugly, i was a violent weakling...

and God has seen fit to show extreme grace to me and also my parents, Praise The Lord (!!!).


He makes all things come together for the good of those who are called...

I really -should- know the address for that, right off, but...whatever. His work in my life has made it possible for me to believe, and to be...what I'd consider truly, genuinely human. feelings, able to 'get' at least some nuances in life and thought, and...

He is truly Good. I was an especially damaged, destroyed, shell of a wretch...

and as who I am now, who I am becoming in Christ...I'm all sortsa flawed and imperfect, but I -am- forgiven, washed+made clean, and...increasingly...

made -whole-. Not the least bit perfect, but...whole. :)
 
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