Christ_empowered
Member
ugh. In Christ, I have been blessed, well above and beyond what I can even pretend I "deserved" or anything. I'm not one for fire and brimstone, harsh punitive religion or anything, but...
-sigh- Scripture is -clear- that God is Love, God is Good...and He does bless His children, but it isn't out of obligation. So, OK. That's more for me than anybody else...moving on...
I have a clean background check, now. I didn't, for a while. Then I did, and now...I'm thankful. Its a long story (civil rights violations, police brutality...'this is what poor people go through,' etc.), but...yeah. I have a diagnosis/label of 'severe mental illness,' and I am in voluntary, outpatient treatment. I am thankful for effective treatment, and I'm thankful for my family...that's my support system. God is merciful.
I now live in a modest, but nice, place. Again: cannot claim to 'deserve' it, but...God has seen fit to be kind to me. I highly doubt I'm the only one with a psych history living in this area, but I do seem to have become an infamous (locally) "uppity mental patient" or...something. I dunno. "Treatment providers" made an example out of me, back in the day...long story, its basically the kind of psychiatric 'treatment' that stigmatized, low status people often receive. "this is what poor people go thru," yet again.
so, OK. People openly talk -at me- and -around me- about "felonies," "he has felonies," "he's on life time, court ordered injections," all this other stuff. factor in people openly discussing rumors, etc. about drug abuse in years past (fun fact: no fun pills, not even a joint, in over 10 years), on and on and on...
-sigh- I feel like an ungrateful wretch, complaining, because...it is demonstrably un-true. That's what I think messes with my mind, so much...its not true, and its one of those false statements that can be disproven, easily...
but I'm -most definitely- not a member of this community, so "what I say" doesn't matter, even (especially?) when its...the truth.
frustrating. my big concern is that people will think "he has felonies!," and continue on with harassment, maybe worse...
and i don't want conflict, of any sort. ugh. :-(
on a personal level, I Praise The Lord for setting me free and bringing deliverance. seriously. --gratitude-- is something I've been praying for, that and contentment. God has seen fit to bless me, big time, and...and...
ugh. I just get frustrated, that's all. thank you.
-sigh- Scripture is -clear- that God is Love, God is Good...and He does bless His children, but it isn't out of obligation. So, OK. That's more for me than anybody else...moving on...
I have a clean background check, now. I didn't, for a while. Then I did, and now...I'm thankful. Its a long story (civil rights violations, police brutality...'this is what poor people go through,' etc.), but...yeah. I have a diagnosis/label of 'severe mental illness,' and I am in voluntary, outpatient treatment. I am thankful for effective treatment, and I'm thankful for my family...that's my support system. God is merciful.
I now live in a modest, but nice, place. Again: cannot claim to 'deserve' it, but...God has seen fit to be kind to me. I highly doubt I'm the only one with a psych history living in this area, but I do seem to have become an infamous (locally) "uppity mental patient" or...something. I dunno. "Treatment providers" made an example out of me, back in the day...long story, its basically the kind of psychiatric 'treatment' that stigmatized, low status people often receive. "this is what poor people go thru," yet again.
so, OK. People openly talk -at me- and -around me- about "felonies," "he has felonies," "he's on life time, court ordered injections," all this other stuff. factor in people openly discussing rumors, etc. about drug abuse in years past (fun fact: no fun pills, not even a joint, in over 10 years), on and on and on...
-sigh- I feel like an ungrateful wretch, complaining, because...it is demonstrably un-true. That's what I think messes with my mind, so much...its not true, and its one of those false statements that can be disproven, easily...
but I'm -most definitely- not a member of this community, so "what I say" doesn't matter, even (especially?) when its...the truth.
frustrating. my big concern is that people will think "he has felonies!," and continue on with harassment, maybe worse...
and i don't want conflict, of any sort. ugh. :-(
on a personal level, I Praise The Lord for setting me free and bringing deliverance. seriously. --gratitude-- is something I've been praying for, that and contentment. God has seen fit to bless me, big time, and...and...
ugh. I just get frustrated, that's all. thank you.