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Taking my own advice

DougK

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Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Messages
135
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I got into a relationship with a woman about ten years ago, and neither of us made very wise choices. Neither of us knew the Lord very well, although we thought we did. I know now our relationship with the Lord has shown us so much wisdom that we lacked. Anyway, we are closer than just friends, but not too romantic. And we do love each other, we care for each other deeply, but neither of us believe we should marry. I am mentally disabled, and unable to hold a steady job. I need good health insurance, like the insurance I can be on being a single guy, because of my disability needs. If we were to marry, I would lose what I do have, and have to go on her insurance, which she is not thinking she could handle both premiums. We have researched this a lot in the past, and we're not on solid ground concerning our finances and health insurance. Call it what you want, if we just don't trust God enough, it well may be so. So, we pray to be able to trust God better. Ten years in the making, we have gotten no where, except I completely do not want to leave her company as a close friend. She is needing me more often to get around, since she has issues also, that needs another person to take care of.

I am needing or craving romance and I don't know what to do. So I have settled in my heart, that I will be a faithful friend and also since we are more than friends and almost romantic, (we had been for awhile, and we stopped because she lost interest and I wanted to honor God by steering from our passions), I will not pursue another relationship until God opens a door for me that pleases Him.

So my advice to young people, do not disobey God in the area of romance and sex. You can be forgiven - but the consequences you have to live with.
 

WIP

Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Dec 11, 2010
Messages
10,852
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Yes
And we do love each other, we care for each other deeply, but neither of us believe we should marry. I am mentally disabled, and unable to hold a steady job. I need good health insurance, like the insurance I can be on being a single guy, because of my disability needs. If we were to marry, I would lose what I do have, and have to go on her insurance, which she is not thinking she could handle both premiums.
Being married does not require you to purchase family health insurance. In fact, for a married couple, it can be more cost effective to purchase individual insurance rather than family health insurance. Family health insurance often times is priced assuming there are other dependents aside from the two spouses so it is quite a bit more expensive. The advantage of family insurance plans is when there are four or more covered persons, the cost doesn't change so it becomes more cost effective as the family size grows.

When our children got their own health insurance I learned that it was considerably less costly for my wife and I to purchase individual health insurance than for me to buy family health insurance to cover her.
 

wondering

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Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
14,869
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Female
I got into a relationship with a woman about ten years ago, and neither of us made very wise choices. Neither of us knew the Lord very well, although we thought we did. I know now our relationship with the Lord has shown us so much wisdom that we lacked. Anyway, we are closer than just friends, but not too romantic. And we do love each other, we care for each other deeply, but neither of us believe we should marry. I am mentally disabled, and unable to hold a steady job. I need good health insurance, like the insurance I can be on being a single guy, because of my disability needs. If we were to marry, I would lose what I do have, and have to go on her insurance, which she is not thinking she could handle both premiums. We have researched this a lot in the past, and we're not on solid ground concerning our finances and health insurance. Call it what you want, if we just don't trust God enough, it well may be so. So, we pray to be able to trust God better. Ten years in the making, we have gotten no where, except I completely do not want to leave her company as a close friend. She is needing me more often to get around, since she has issues also, that needs another person to take care of.

I am needing or craving romance and I don't know what to do. So I have settled in my heart, that I will be a faithful friend and also since we are more than friends and almost romantic, (we had been for awhile, and we stopped because she lost interest and I wanted to honor God by steering from our passions), I will not pursue another relationship until God opens a door for me that pleases Him.

So my advice to young people, do not disobey God in the area of romance and sex. You can be forgiven - but the consequences you have to live with.
You have a lot to deal with ,,, we all do but it's more difficult for you.
Perhaps you've made the right decision; it's not for us to say.
My prayers are with you.
 

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