Christ_empowered
Member
me, yet again. I get taunted, right? right. I do, of course, have the "voices"--I think maybe mostly just replays, really--from...well...poverty, stigma, psychiatric junk...blah blah blah.
well, last night--once again--there were -real- voices from -real- people. i get picked on for any number of reasons...persecution? maybe. an HIV+ test at a mental hospital 15 years ago="he'll be dead in a couple years..."
15 years of -0- Rx treatment for that or any other physical malady (I had plenty of 'em...don't do the gay thing, don't do drugs, try to avoid hospitals...), I'm healthier than ever. really. i started out sickly in my tweens and teens, all downhill...7 years ago, got genuinely saved, now I'm truly healthy!
ok. so, there's that. I was also poor until my now (recently...I think...kinda hazy...) 'well to do' (for this area...not rich, not middle-middle class, etc.) parents decided to -do- forgiveness towards me...
and now I live in a modest, quiet, safe, and -nice- place, all to myself.
the taunts, what sounded like a vacuum cleaner at about 3 AM...fun times. But...my cousin, he's Born Again, went from bizness to ministry...he took the time to remind me, more than once: 'eyes fixed on Christ, and Him Crucified.' At 1st, I wanted to argue: what about...Him -Resurrected- ? But now...
it really, really does help to put things into perspective. not to get mystical or whatever (as if...I'm surprisingly by the book Protestant, these days...), but the visualization, eyes closed...
helped put the -whole- thing into perspective. And it reminded me of The Pilgrim's Progress, where Christian sees and hears The World, etc...
and keeps on journeying.
truth be told, Jesus has brought me a long, long, long way...eyes on Him, eyes on what His Finished Work, remember to Praise Him for His work in my life...His life now, thru me (getting there...), and...
yeah. perspective. Jesus matters. I matter. My parents matter. the mockers, etc...matter, to God and all, and I do pray for them, but...
in terms of day to day living, etc., I just can't give them an inch.
ok. yay. Jesus is bringing me out of the world of fear...
'perfect love casteth out all fear...'
well, last night--once again--there were -real- voices from -real- people. i get picked on for any number of reasons...persecution? maybe. an HIV+ test at a mental hospital 15 years ago="he'll be dead in a couple years..."
15 years of -0- Rx treatment for that or any other physical malady (I had plenty of 'em...don't do the gay thing, don't do drugs, try to avoid hospitals...), I'm healthier than ever. really. i started out sickly in my tweens and teens, all downhill...7 years ago, got genuinely saved, now I'm truly healthy!
ok. so, there's that. I was also poor until my now (recently...I think...kinda hazy...) 'well to do' (for this area...not rich, not middle-middle class, etc.) parents decided to -do- forgiveness towards me...
and now I live in a modest, quiet, safe, and -nice- place, all to myself.
the taunts, what sounded like a vacuum cleaner at about 3 AM...fun times. But...my cousin, he's Born Again, went from bizness to ministry...he took the time to remind me, more than once: 'eyes fixed on Christ, and Him Crucified.' At 1st, I wanted to argue: what about...Him -Resurrected- ? But now...
it really, really does help to put things into perspective. not to get mystical or whatever (as if...I'm surprisingly by the book Protestant, these days...), but the visualization, eyes closed...
helped put the -whole- thing into perspective. And it reminded me of The Pilgrim's Progress, where Christian sees and hears The World, etc...
and keeps on journeying.
truth be told, Jesus has brought me a long, long, long way...eyes on Him, eyes on what His Finished Work, remember to Praise Him for His work in my life...His life now, thru me (getting there...), and...
yeah. perspective. Jesus matters. I matter. My parents matter. the mockers, etc...matter, to God and all, and I do pray for them, but...
in terms of day to day living, etc., I just can't give them an inch.
ok. yay. Jesus is bringing me out of the world of fear...
'perfect love casteth out all fear...'
