What was i thinking???

[Sparkey]

There I was, tasked with the responsibility of teaching submission to my two sons. I wanted to find some way to communicate the lesson. Kids like games, right?

I told them both that I'd like to play a game with them. Told them to imagine that they could control me because I said they could. Of course, I explained that I would not hurt myself, would not be willing to even appear as if I would hurt myself, would not hurt others, would not be willing to give an appearance of being willing to hurt others, and that I would not break things. These restrictions were called "Sparrow's Family Laws" and served to communicate limits and boundaries.

So, the kids thought about what they would want me to do and I tried to prepare for whatever inconceivable thing they would come up with and ready myself to obey children.

Lucky for me it was an easy task they chose, "Dad, sit on your hands."

I sat.​

"Dad, stand up on one foot."

I stood.​

And so it went. The kids enjoyed the power they were given and I told them that part of what I was doing was making myself ready to do what they said I should do, getting myself into a place where what I wanted did not matter as much as what I was told (by them) to do.

Even kids can understand authority and submission, but what was I thinking? It was a risky move, to be sure, but they did understand and were willing to go along with me as the tables turned and I asked them in turn to sit on their hands and to stand on one foot. Have I learned the lesson that I've tried to teach? Well, part of that is the foolishness of preaching above one's own ability. I still struggle with this. Don't we all?

 

[Gordon]

Thats awesome man. You sound like an awesome dad.

 

[Knotical]

For me it is usually the case of "not thinking my cunning plan all the way through" kind of thing. Example: I have five kids, the oldest three are 7, 5, and 3 (boys). One day I think it would be great fun to pretend the youngest of these is my "pillow", so I would have him lay on the floor, I put my head on his back, then "fluff" the pillow, which of course consists of tickling. Well the older ones want to get in on the game, so I try to keep them away from my pillow. After about 10 or 20 minutes of "fun" I figure we are done. At least I was. I start to walk away to go do something else, but the oldest two proceed to attack the youngest one. And I can't really get upset at them because it was my bright idea they are continuing.

The moral of this story: try to think any "game" you invent all the way through to the end to consider if there will be any negative impact. Obviously you can't do it all the time otherwise you won't be able to have fun with your kids. But try to weed out the moments where you inadvertently cause a sudden Battle Royale in your living room.

 

[Sparkey]

For me it is usually the case of "not thinking my cunning plan all the way through" kind of thing. Example: I have five kids, the oldest three are 7, 5, and 3 (boys). One day I think it would be great fun to pretend the youngest of these is my "pillow", so I would have him lay on the floor, I put my head on his back, then "fluff" the pillow, which of course consists of tickling. Well the older ones want to get in on the game, so I try to keep them away from my pillow. After about 10 or 20 minutes of "fun" I figure we are done. At least I was. I start to walk away to go do something else, but the oldest two proceed to attack the youngest one. And I can't really get upset at them because it was my bright idea they are continuing.

The moral of this story: try to think any "game" you invent all the way through to the end to consider if there will be any negative impact. Obviously you can't do it all the time otherwise you won't be able to have fun with your kids. But try to weed out the moments where you inadvertently cause a sudden Battle Royale in your living room.

That would require what? WISDOM??? Not something that have an overabundance of, myself. I do like your story and all the times it reminds me of similar, "Again, Daddy. Again," fun.

 

[Knotical]

That would require what? WISDOM??? Not something that have an overabundance of, myself. I do like your story and all the times it reminds me of similar, "Again, Daddy. Again," fun.

That is usually followed by a response from along the lines of, "But you got hurt last time."

Kids, "Do it again, daddy!"

Then ends with a stern look from my wife and me going, "What? They asked me to."

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

Raising my kids by myself, I preferred teachable moments to object lessons. Of course, my difficulty was in finding appropriate teachable moments. They don't just crop up every time you want one. I learned to take everyday occurrences and ask questions about them. Why would the police officer stop that driver? What do you think of all the fun going on in that beer commercial? Do you think it would be a good idea to gamble like the casinos want us to? What did you think when that dad yelled at his son in the store? How much do you think that car ought to cost, vs. what they're selling it for? If we have $100 to last all week, should we buy this hamburger, break and milk, or should we rent video games and movies? Why?

Some of my questions were really dumb. I won't reveal my own innate stupidity by including examples. However, my kids loved those questions. If I was busy on a drive to do errands and forgot to look for a situation to ask a question about, they would ask me! We had a blast, they learned something -- and I'm turning those teachable moments into a methodology to teach parents how to talk to their kids about drugs, alcohol, gambling, tobacco, etc. My church is excited about it, and my pastor told me he's called the Kansas-Nebraska Baptist Association and the Missouri Baptist Convention to tell them one of his church members has a good idea.

All because I wasn't as imaginative as Sparrow and Knot.

 

[stovebolts]

Ha! Mine would tell me to pack in wood lol!