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Guest, Join Papa Zoom today for some uplifting biblical encouragement! --> Daily Verses
Your favorite Christian Jokes?
- Thread starter TDC Radio
- Start date
i have one but I have to think about it. I need to remember it correctly
Ok here goes, this is another I thought of that will work for radio...
This poor soul is standing outside a bar, just so happens a few pastors are walking by and the man looks at them and says “ I’m Jesus Christ” the two men look at each other and smirk, they tell the man that there is no way possible he could be Jesus Christ, Jesus was crucified, died, rose from the dead and we are waiting for his return until this day, the man looking puzzled said I bet you 50 bucks I can prove it! They humored him and said ok prove it, he said follow me, they followed him into the bar! With a loud shout from behind the bar the bartender yells at the top of his lungs, how many times do I have to tell you? Jesus Christ get out of this bar!!!
The pastors were dumbfounded.
That’s the best my memory allows at this time Rob, lol
This poor soul is standing outside a bar, just so happens a few pastors are walking by and the man looks at them and says “ I’m Jesus Christ” the two men look at each other and smirk, they tell the man that there is no way possible he could be Jesus Christ, Jesus was crucified, died, rose from the dead and we are waiting for his return until this day, the man looking puzzled said I bet you 50 bucks I can prove it! They humored him and said ok prove it, he said follow me, they followed him into the bar! With a loud shout from behind the bar the bartender yells at the top of his lungs, how many times do I have to tell you? Jesus Christ get out of this bar!!!
The pastors were dumbfounded.
That’s the best my memory allows at this time Rob, lol
I sure hope that it's alright for me to think that this is funny because technically speaking it's using the Lord's name in vain.
I found it funny. I’m legalistic others may be. For me and you we find it funny.
However it still doesn't mean it's right although it is funny and it's something that I never do. I even stopped using the phrase "Oh my God" at the end of last year and now OMG stands for either "Oh my gosh" or "Oh my goodness" to me.
Well if the moderators feel it is offensive to the forum I will retract it, I would Ot be upset at all.
Yeah I know, I wasn't upset with you for posting it I was just making a point of saying that just because something is funny (also like hearing children cuss) doesn't mean that it's right.
Oh I didn’t think you were upset, but your heart is correct sis.
Truthfrees
Member
Clean Christian Jokes
jokes.christiansunite.com
A New Beginning - Creation Jokes
jokes.christiansunite.com
The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."
God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this?
Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!"
But God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."
The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!"
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Truthfrees
Member
Dear God,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.� - Bruce
Dear God,
If we come back as something - please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.� - Denise
Dear God,
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.� - Danny
Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry
Dear God,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. � - Sam
Dear God,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.� - Dean
Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Brad
Dear God,
Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. - Ron
Dear God,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?� - Marsha
Dear God,
If You watch me in Church Sunday. I'll show You my new shoes.� - Mickey
Dear God,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. - Chris
Dear God,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea. - Donna
Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know that. I am not just saying that because You are God already. - Charles
Dear God,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (but I am not going to tell You who I am)
Truthfrees
Member
Are You God - God Jokes
jokes.christiansunite.com
One cold evening during the holiday season, a little boy about six or seven was standing out in front of a store window. The little child had no shoes on and his clothes were mere rags.
A young woman passing by saw the little boy and could read the longing in his pale blue eyes. She took the child by the hand and led him into the store. There she bought him new shoes and a complete suit of warm clothing.
They came back outside into the street and the woman said to the child, "Now you can go home and have a very happy holiday."
The little boy looked up at her and asked, "are you God, Ma'am?" She smiled down at him and replied, "No son, I'm just one of His children."
The little boy then said, "I knew you had to be some relation."
Truthfrees
Member
Pastors' Wives - Pastors Jokes
jokes.christiansunite.com
Two Pastors wives were visiting and sewing their husbands pants. One wife said: My husband is just beside himself, he does not know what to do anymore and he is so tired and depressed he said he is ready to just give up and resign.
The other wife said: I am sorry to hear that because my husband has never been happier. Our membership is growing and we are out of our financial burden, we have such a large and loving congregation. Life could not be any better than it is right now.
One woman was mending the seat of her husbands pants, the other was mending the knees.
Truthfrees
Member
Time For Church - Pastors Jokes
jokes.christiansunite.com
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
"I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."
His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"
Truthfrees
Member
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What Denomination?" Asked the clerk.
"Oh, my goodness! Have we come to this?" said the woman.
"Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!"
Read more at https://www.beliefnet.com/ilovejesus/features/hilarious-christian-jokes.aspx?p=4#30klyA5BFGXRxGdo.99
Truthfrees
Member
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!"
Read more at https://www.beliefnet.com/ilovejesus/features/hilarious-christian-jokes.aspx?p=9#R6tpZxCgKSRWZfHv.99
Truthfrees
Member
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?”
“He came from heaven, Johnny.”
Johnny responded: “Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”
Read more at https://www.beliefnet.com/ilovejesu...christian-jokes.aspx?p=10#ijOt5bZ53z5V5CDz.99
ROTFL!!! This was hilarious!! Nobody ever said that God can't be savage. XD!
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What Denomination?" Asked the clerk.
"Oh, my goodness! Have we come to this?" said the woman.
"Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!"
Read more at https://www.beliefnet.com/ilovejesus/features/hilarious-christian-jokes.aspx?p=4#30klyA5BFGXRxGdo.99
I didn't really get these other two, but I just remembered a pretty good joke. Although I can't tell it word for word it goes like this,... so one day there were these two kids that entered the school cafeteria and once they got into the lunch line they noticed that the lunch lady wasn't paying very close attention to them and that people were grabbing more food than they should and putting it on their tray.
So one of the little boys tried to reach for an extra apple but that's one of the kids in front of them warned him that God was watching him,.. so when then second little boy tried to reach for the same apple that same kid in front of him warned him the exact same thing that God was watching him. So then a third little boy grabbed a whole bunch of cookies and poured it on his tray. That's when his friend looked over at him in complete and utter horror and cried; "Why did you do that!? Don't you know that God is watching you!?"
But then the boy just simply grinned at him and said,.. "No He isn't, He's too busy watching those other kids and that apple." XD! So yeah, even though I couldn't tell it exactly like I remembered it, hopefully you still thought that it was funny.
TDC Radio
Member
NOW THAT IS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!