You cannot fall from Grace because Grace is not a place. Grace is God working in your life. Grace is like a warm coat during the winter. Grace is like living water from the well springs of Christianity.
You can do nothing without Grace. You cannot breathe without Grace. It is always there whether you appreciate it or not. You can share Grace by comforting and consoling others in the name of God. You can become Grace by standing in for God in a moment of crisis.
You are always in a State of Grace because no matter how badly you sin God loves you. The Holy Spirit is Grace and communicates God’s love for you while here on earth.
Grace cannot be earned, but it can be spent when you meet a fellow traveler on your journey and you stop to help. In return, Grace will send someone to you to do the same when it is your time to suffer.
Grace is the sunlight that brightens everything in the day. Grace is the moonlight that shows you the way at night.
Grace is a gift that goes unappreciated when it is subtle, but Grace also tells us we are loved when it awakens us from the darkness of a nightmare.
Grace cannot be found. It is a gift from God.
Grace is forgiveness when you repent with remorse.
Grace is approval from God but also disapproval when we are going in the wrong direction.
Grace is a whisper the dark purring like a cat. It is the best companion you will ever have.
Grace is not in the future. It is here. It is now. Reach out and touch it. Cradle it in you arms. Never let it go. Be grateful for the love that it brings you both night and day; in and out of sin.; in and out of sanity. It is the peaceful morning at the end of a storm.
Grace is a language spoken only by God. Interpreted correctly, it will put you in a State of Grace where no one can hurt you or take you away from your serenity. If you pray for nothing else, pray for Grace. And wait. And sleep. And awaken in a new place.
And a Child Shall Lead Them
“And a Little Child Shall Lead Them.” Isaiah 11:6
“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ” Matthew 18:3 RSV
These are words of wisdom. They are direct and to the point—do this and this will happen—cause and effect. And certainly, if we truly want to go to heaven, we need precise directions. Being told to be “good” Christians is such vague advice. This verse offers us much more specific information. We must “turn and become like children.”
I assume that to “turn” means to change in a very unique way. Not by adopting new and never experienced attitudes, but by reclaiming a former way of feeling, thinking and behaving. One can visualize, with the aid of the verb “turn,” that we are being told to do an about-face and go back to where we started. This surprising advice reminds me of the parable of the prodigal son, in which to move on to a better and more fulfilling life, the son had to turn back to something he had abandoned.
What specifically are the characteristics or personality traits of children which make emulating them the key factor to our entry into “the kingdom of heaven”? Certainly not every personality trait is relevant. Will having a temper tantrum get me into heaven? I think not. However, using the imagery of the parent/child relationship and looking more closely at some of the qualities intrinsic to children, we can clarify the point Jesus is making.
One characteristic of children is the complete confidence they have in their parents. Children recognize and totally accept their dependence on their mother and father to provide food, clothes, shelter, and emotional support. As a result, children do not have to be encouraged to give credit where credit is due, or to believe and trust in their parents. It is not a soul searching experience, it is just reality.
As adults we must emulate this natural, spontaneous, unquestioning faith. We must not doubt God’s role as the provider of our “daily bread,” and we must not hesitate to believe and trust “Our Father who art in heaven.” The less our faith is compromised by doubt, the closer we are to being like innocent children, and the closer we are to the kingdom of heaven. In speaking of Corrie ten Boom, Jean Buckingham observed, “As a little girl believes her Daddy can do anything, so Corrie ten Boom trusts in God—even more. She is living proof of what happens when a woman—when any person—is filled with the Holy Spirit.”
Because children are dependent on their parents, they are (for the most part) obedient. They may seem somewhat rebellious and independent, but when push comes to shove they do as they are told. As adults, we too must be obedient to God. We may have our own ideas about how to live our lives, but in the last analysis we must say to God, “Thy will be done.”
Furthermore, because they trust in the omnipotence of their parents, children do not have as many fears as adults. For the normal child, life is carefree as long as parents are near at hand. As adults we too must take this brave attitude. Despite our awareness of the reality of evil in this world, if we are to have peace of mind (heaven here on earth), we must turn our fears over to God and never forget that God is with us always. Our state of mind should reflect our belief and trust in God’s love and power to carry us through.
In observing children, I have noticed that their perceptions of the world are based more on their feelings than their thoughts. They don’t analyze or think about their experiences, they just “feel” them. Adults can really take a cue from this. Feeling, I am convinced, is the most pleasurable way to experience God in our lives. The intellect can easily dismiss God.
In this age of scientific rational thought, thinking can be an unemotional activity which can leave us cold. Feelings, on the other hand, promote a bond of understanding between ourselves, other human beings and God. Feelings are universal and thoughts are unique to the particular ego. We all can experience God as love.
Children are also more intuitive than adults because they are less cluttered by ego-oriented, analytical thoughts. “Out of the mouths of babes shall come gems of wisdom.” The child’s gift of intuition is based on a lack of self-consciousness and doubt (both products of the thought process). Children are also more honest and don’t compromise their intuitive feelings. They just spontaneously share their perceptions.
To me this is illustrated beautifully in the fairy tale about the child who can see that the emperor has no clothes even though the adults around him are acting as if he is fully dressed. In the adult Christian, this can be seen as the evangelical experience, the spirit of God bursting from the human heart and lips, not the mind. We adults must seek to experience God more intuitively so that we can see to the heart of things. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall
see God.”
Another noteworthy characteristic of children is the natural (ego-less) bond they feel with their parents. In their infancy, they feel completely at one with the mother and are not conscious of themselves as separate human beings. The development of the ego, which results in the consciousness of self and later preoccupation (or obsession) with self, has not yet separated them. Later, the bond between parent and child is based more on love but they always retain the memory of feeling totally at one with their parent.
This reminds me of Adam and Eve, before their expulsion from the Garden, when they had no sense of separateness from God, when communion with God was a way of life, and when self-will had not yet spawned disobedience. In many ways, entering the kingdom of heaven is like finding our way back to the Garden and bringing to our lives that feeling of oneness with God. This can happen with the deflation of our ego, that part of us that can only see ourselves and therefore cannot see God. In turning away from being ego centered, we can return to the state of being like a child. We can perceive ourselves as being one with God.
Another aspect of the child’s personality which adults should emulate is the wonderful lack of prejudice and preconceived notions. Unlike the average adult, the happy, well-adjusted child wants to touch and embrace everybody without discrimination. And they do just that until the parent begins to socialize them into the mores of their particular culture by separating them from the “unacceptable.”
In a multiethnic community such as Berkeley, I have been privileged to see what happens when you place young children of various ethnic, cultural and religious backgrounds in the same room. They don’t waste any time getting acquainted and have no inhibitions about enjoying each other’s company. They are easily able to transcend the barriers that adults might erect in a similar situation.
We grownups can learn from the “open-arms” attitude of children. We can set aside our prejudices and experience brotherhood in the full sense of the word. This can be a major milestone in our journey to the kingdom of heaven. Prejudice is the product of fear and intolerance. It has no place where love rules supreme. Ask any child.
Finally, we should note that children are more teachable and enthusiastic about learning new things. If you do not believe me, just sit down and play with youngsters and see how anxious they are to learn how to hold a paintbrush, stack blocks, and read a book. Many adults only want to learn new things grudgingly.
More often than not, they are closed-minded and full of outdated information. To enter the kingdom of heaven, we must be willing to be molded by God—or to transcend our limited notion of who we are and how we relate to the universe. And we would do well to reach out joyously for what God wants us to learn. For it is through lessons learned along life’s way that we are shown the way to heaven.
It is obvious that there is much to be learned from the ways of children. In becoming more dependent, obedient, trusting, intuitive, tolerant, teachable and less analytical we are humbling ourselves before God.
Isaiah 11:6 (LEB)
And a wolf shall stay“dwell as an alien” with a lamb, and a leopard shall lie down with a kid, and a calf and a lion and a fatling together as a small boy leads“and a small boy leading” them.6And a wolf shall stay“dwell as an alien” with a lamb, and a leopard shall lie down with a kid, and a calf and a lion and a fatling together as a small boy leads“and a small boy leading” them.
Matthew 18:3 (LEB)
and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you turn around and become like young children, you will never enter into the kingdom of heaven!3and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you turn around and become like young children, you will never enter into the kingdom of heaven!
Toxic Guilt and Our Christian Walk
Toxic guilt is the unreasonable guilt we feel for things that are beyond our control. Where does it come from? It is usually the legacy of a traumatic childhood. Because of what psychologists call self-referencing, children blame themselves when something goes wrong in their home. There is no logic to this, it is just a fact. Children with undeveloped egos see themselves as the center of the universe and take responsibility for everything. They think, “If mother is angry, then it is my fault. I am a bad person.” This leads to feelings of shame and toxic guilt.
This phase of childhood development has a lasting impact on our adult lives. The feelings of guilt lives on in our unconscious mind and floats to the surface now and then when we least expect them. This gets in the way of being a better Christian because it weighs us down. Like depression and shame, toxic guilt saps our energy and keeps us in survival mode. We have to spend all of our time fighting off the feelings of shame and guilt, and as a result there is no time or desire to serve God.
When I feel guilty for no reason, it is toxic guilt. It is a stumbling block to living a holy life.. Once, I wanted to join a charity to help the poor but I felt I was not good enough.
Toxic guilt might even be Satan trying to discourage us. Who knows. I just know it usually stems from hyper-critical parents or religious leaders. Catholics use guilt to control people and frighten them into being good. We are good because we love Christ not because we fear him. At least this is my opinion.
I still have toxic guilt. I feel as if I was an inadequate mother which I wasn’t. A lot of my toxic guilt comes from my perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking. The thinking process goes like this. I am either good or bad. I’m not good because I’m not for perfect, so I must be bad. Therefore, I carry around toxic guilt and Satan feeds on it. That’s why I love the expression “I’m a work in progress.” No one is perfect except for God. And I’m not him.
To counteract toxic guilt, we must use positive reinforcement. We must counter the free-floating feelings of guilt with an awareness of the truth that we are not to blame and then keep reminding ourselves of this truth with constant self-talk until the guilt recedes. Most of all, we must not act on this toxic guilt. For instance, codependents live lives of quiet desperation trying to get rid of this toxic guilt by taking care of people in unhealthy ways. They must stop doing this and erase the toxic guilt to the best of their ability in other positive ways.
From the Christian Forum . . . “I was raised Catholic. I used to go to confession and I would feel better for a bit and then the guilt would be back. I kind of have this underlying feeling of never doing or being good enough.”
This is an example of toxic guilt. Self-acceptance is the answer to my toxic guilt. I take my cue from God. I am lovable despite all my shortcomings. Pray for this truth to seep into your unconscious. This is where the toxic guilt hides.
One more thing . . . I just want to make sure that everybody understands that toxic guilt from Satan and needs to be released to God so he can remind us that we are his children and that we are loved. But God created normal guilt for a reason. It prompts us to make amends to the people we have hurt. It keeps us on the straight and narrow. So I embrace my guilt about my sins and how I treat other people sometimes. But then I give it to God. I do not let it fester and turn into toxic guilt.
Faith
I had a dream once about God. He was sitting at the head of a conference table talking about me to his angels. Suddenly, he got a sad look on his face. He said, “I just don’t understand why Susannah worries so much. I have always taken care of her. She has always had a roof over her head and food to eat. I have always comforted her during a time of crisis. Why does she still worry so much? You would think that she would have more faith in me.”
I woke up and felt guilty. After that I tried to worry less and internalize my faith more deeply. Faith is a mysterious emotion.
It is kind of like confidence. During a crisis we intuitively feel that everything will work out in the end.
It is kind of like serenity. We feel peaceful.
It is kind of like intimacy. We feel close to God.
It is kind of like humility. We feel frail next to the power of God.
It is kind of like awe. We feel such admiration for God.
It is kind of like awareness. We feel the truth deep in our soul.
It is kind of like joy. We are so happy to be loved.
Faith is like all these things. But it is still mysterious.
How do you get faith? It is a gift. You ask for it and then act “as if” you have it. It comes to you as a small acorn and grows into a great tree draping its branches around your life. If it fades away, you set aside everything you are doing to find it and bring it back into your life.
What do you do with faith? You enjoy it and you share it with others. You guard it carefully. It is your most valuable possession. When others are in trouble, who have less faith than you, you bolster them up with affirmations. You tell them how time and time again God has seen you through a crisis. You share with them how everything good in your life has come from God. Then you stand in for God. You act as an emissary and help these people in any way you can. When you part, you don’t say, “I love you,” you say, “God loves you. Have faith in him.”
When you pray, pray for faith. Everything else is in God’s hands. He will decide what is best for you. He will determine how long you are to suffer. He will determine the source of all your income. He will put the right people in your life and take the wrong ones out. If you attempt to do this yourself, you will make mistakes. Let God do it all. Just ask for faith so that you can relax while God is controlling your life.
As you grow old, thank God for your faith. So many people suffer because they do not have it. Have compassion for these people and praise the Lord for blessing you.
Accept and Obey
John 14: 21 “Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”
In the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a prayer. It reads:
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept . . . life’s terms [and God’s will] I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”
“Accept and Obey” is a variation on the hymn, “Trust and Obey.” It means we must accept what we cannot change as well as God’s will for us. His will is always the same; to obey him in all matters. In other words, we must turn our entire life over to his care. Why?
God is our Supreme Being.
God knows what is best for us.
God knows how to best serve him.
God knows what will truly make us fulfilled.
God knows what hidden gifts we have.
God knows our strengths and weaknesses.
God knows who we should marry.
God knows how we can best be of use to him.
God knows us as if we were the only person on this planet.
God knows what changes have to be made in our lives better than we do.
God knows our secrets and which ones must be exposed for healing purposes.
I could go on, but you get my point. God knows best in all things. To accept his decisions is best for everybody. How do we accept and obey?
1. We admit that we need help and guidance.
2. We make a decision to accept and obey.
3. We resist the urge to change our minds.
4. We ignore all temptations from Satan.
5. We go through the withdrawal brought on by letting go of old ways of thinking, believing and behaving.
6. We pray and meditate for God’s will for us to be known.
7. We pray for strength to carry out God’s will.
8. We celebrate every decision we make to serve God in this way.
9. We let go of the past because ruminating on it will slow our progress.
Some things do not need to be told to us. The Bible has instructions on how to accept and obey. God will always want us to love our neighbor as ourselves. He will always want us to do the loving thing when in doubt.
At first, accepting and obeying may seem like an arduous task. It is just to difficult we think. But if the truth be known, it is the pathway to happiness, joy, serenity, peace, self-actualization and much more. Just make the decision and stick it no matter what. Act as if your life is at stake because you will be tempted form time to time to take your own will back. If this happens, just start again. You will always be forgiven for having a slip or two on your path. But it is the most important thing you will ever do and you will be rewarded both in Heaven and here on earth. I can testify to that.
John 14 (LEB)
Jesus’ Farewell Discourse“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believeOr simply “Believe”; the verb form can be either indicative (e.g., KJV, NAB, NLT) or imperative (e.g., NIV, NRSV, ESV) in God; believeLike the previous verb “believe” this form could also be either indicative or imperative, though most English versions regard it as imperative also in me.Jesus’ Farewell Discourse“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believeOr simply “Believe”; the verb form can be either indicative (e.g., KJV, NAB, NLT) or imperative (e.g., NIV, NRSV, ESV) in God; believeLike the previous verb “believe” this form could also be either indicative or imperative, though most English versions regard it as imperative also in me.
Shame and Jesus Christ
“Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” Romans 10: 11
People often confuse shame with guilt. They are not the same. Especially toxic shame. Guilt is taking responsibility for a wrong action and feeling remorseful. Shame is believing that you are a bad person for what you have done.
While I was growing up a common expression was: “You should be ashamed of yourself.” I always took this to mean I was bad person and going to hell. Then I concluded that if I was bad, I might as well stop trying to be good. So I gave into my base instincts to steal, lie, and hurt people.
Growing up thinking you are bad is a terrible burden. It becomes a self-fulling prophecy and can ruin your life. You can end up in prison. You can become depressed. You can become angry and take your pain out on others.
This is where I was at in 1982. I was drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I was neglecting my children. I had no hope that I could do anything good. I had so self-esteem. I actually hated myself.
Then I got suicidal and decided to drink myself to death. But God had other plans for me. He sent an angel by the name of Michael. He was kind to me and I started talking to him about my depression. One day I asked him if one could die of loneliness. He looked me in the eye and said, “yes.”
I burst out in tears. He leaned over and I could see the cross around his neck. Then he showed me a coin with the words, “Alcoholics Anonymous.” I did not know what to say so I left his office. The next day he asked me if I had gone to an AA meeting. I said, “No, I was afraid they would cure me.” This is when I realized I was addicted and hopeless. I was terrified of changing even though I new it would save my life.
A week latter, I went to an AA meeting. There was a person at the front of the table telling her story. To be honest, she was telling my story. She also talked about the power of God to heal alcoholism. I was so moved I went back every day for 25 years.
I had been sober about a month, when the Holy Spirit came to me and whispered in my ear, “Go to where they talk about God all the time.” I took this to mean I should go to church. I shopped around and ended up with the Quakers because they support women in the ministry.
One day, while sitting in church, the Holy Spirit came to me again. He said, “Susan: I love you. You are loveable. I forgive you for your transgressions and there is no reason for you to be ashamed anymore. You made mistakes but now you get a second chance to do things right.”
That was on November 7, 1982. Since then I have let go of the shame, although I still feel remorseful when I do something wrong. To compensate, I help others who struggle with shame and low self esteem. If you are someone suffering from shame consider the following.
1. Adopt an attitude of self-acceptance or self-love. This means really understanding that you are a worthy person despite your shortcomings. This will come when you surrender to Jesus Christ.
2. As part of your new positive thinking campaign, learn how to superimpose new information over your old negative tapes. (Negative tapes are all the hurtful and inappropriate things people said about you while you were growing up.) Tell yourself that Jesus died to reclaim you, and his opinion is all that matters.
3. Reclaim your self-respect — the pride or satisfaction that comes from:
o Self-discipline
o Being responsible
o Honoring your own value system (Christian values)
Self-respect, which is a kind of conditional love, does not necessarily contradict the notion that you should love yourself unconditionally. Both concepts are important to maintain self-esteem. You must try to find the balance between loving yourself unconditionally and pushing yourself to do things that will engender self-respect.
4. Surround yourself, whenever possible, with people who affirm you (people who like you just the way you are). Like it or not, your relationship with others can erode your self-esteem. So make a point of choosing your friends carefully. You did not have a choice about this as a child, but as an adult you are free to pick and choose most of your companions. This means going to church and spending time with your Christian friends.
5. Stop trying to be perfect. No one is perfect. We all live in the shadow of perfection and are perfectly imperfect. We should strive for that while accepting the fact that we never arrive because we are being perfected all the days of our lives.
6. Be charitable. Do nice things for other people. At the same time, there should be some balance in your life between taking care of yourself and being kind to others.
7. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are special in your own way and this is the attitude you must have about yourself.
8. Learn how to receive love. Some people are so ashamed they actually dismiss love when it becomes available. Let the love come in.
9. Make amends if you have hurt someone. If they are unavailable, make living amends to someone who is still here.
10. To protect your newfound self-esteem, prepare yourself mentally for those times when people try to drag you down (people you can’t avoid like co-workers). Learn how to keep from taking them so seriously, as well as how to filter out inappropriate criticism. Remember: Only Jesus knows the real you.
11. Some people just can’t wake up one day, after years of devaluing themselves, and suddenly know that they are worthy people. If this is true for you, you may need something to take the place of the mirroring of love that you did not get from your parents when you were growing up. You may need a dramatic shift in consciousness before you can practice self-acceptance. This shift in consciousness will occur when you reach out to our savior Jesus Christ. When you are loved by Jesus, it is sometimes easier to take a second look at yourself and conclude that you are a valuable and worthy person.
If you work very hard on this task of building up your self-esteem, it will dissipate your toxic shame and you will have taken a great step forward. Your life will change and you will be genuinely happy—perhaps for the first time in your life. And it gets better. There is no end to the happiness you will know when you love yourself and Jesus Christ.
“When the melancholic dejectedly desires to be rid of life, of himself, is this not because he will not learn earnestly and rigorously to love himself? When a man surrenders himself to despair because the world or some person has left him faithlessly betrayed, what then is his fault except that he does not love himself the right way.” Soren Kierkegaard in Works of Love.
Susan Peabody is the author of The Art of Changing published by Celestial Arts in Berkeley, California.
Romans 10 (LEB)
The Righteousness of God through Faith in ChristBrothers, the desire of my heart and my prayer to God on behalf of them is for their salvation.The Righteousness of God through Faith in ChristBrothers, the desire of my heart and my prayer to God on behalf of them is for their salvation.