Toxic guilt is the unreasonable guilt we feel for things that are beyond our control. Where does it come from? It is usually the legacy of a traumatic childhood. Because of what psychologists call self-referencing, children blame themselves when something goes wrong in their home. There is no logic to this, it is just a fact. Children with undeveloped egos see themselves as the center of the universe and take responsibility for everything. They think, “If mother is angry, then it is my fault. I am a bad person.” This leads to feelings of shame and toxic guilt.
This phase of childhood development has a lasting impact on our adult lives. The feelings of guilt lives on in our unconscious mind and floats to the surface now and then when we least expect them. This gets in the way of being a better Christian because it weighs us down. Like depression and shame, toxic guilt saps our energy and keeps us in survival mode. We have to spend all of our time fighting off the feelings of shame and guilt, and as a result there is no time or desire to serve God.
When I feel guilty for no reason, it is toxic guilt. It is a stumbling block to living a holy life.. Once, I wanted to join a charity to help the poor but I felt I was not good enough.
Toxic guilt might even be Satan trying to discourage us. Who knows. I just know it usually stems from hyper-critical parents or religious leaders. Catholics use guilt to control people and frighten them into being good. We are good because we love Christ not because we fear him. At least this is my opinion.
I still have toxic guilt. I feel as if I was an inadequate mother which I wasn’t. A lot of my toxic guilt comes from my perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking. The thinking process goes like this. I am either good or bad. I’m not good because I’m not for perfect, so I must be bad. Therefore, I carry around toxic guilt and Satan feeds on it. That’s why I love the expression “I’m a work in progress.” No one is perfect except for God. And I’m not him.
To counteract toxic guilt, we must use positive reinforcement. We must counter the free-floating feelings of guilt with an awareness of the truth that we are not to blame and then keep reminding ourselves of this truth with constant self-talk until the guilt recedes. Most of all, we must not act on this toxic guilt. For instance, codependents live lives of quiet desperation trying to get rid of this toxic guilt by taking care of people in unhealthy ways. They must stop doing this and erase the toxic guilt to the best of their ability in other positive ways.
From the Christian Forum . . . “I was raised Catholic. I used to go to confession and I would feel better for a bit and then the guilt would be back. I kind of have this underlying feeling of never doing or being good enough.”
This is an example of toxic guilt. Self-acceptance is the answer to my toxic guilt. I take my cue from God. I am lovable despite all my shortcomings. Pray for this truth to seep into your unconscious. This is where the toxic guilt hides.
One more thing . . . I just want to make sure that everybody understands that toxic guilt from Satan and needs to be released to God so he can remind us that we are his children and that we are loved. But God created normal guilt for a reason. It prompts us to make amends to the people we have hurt. It keeps us on the straight and narrow. So I embrace my guilt about my sins and how I treat other people sometimes. But then I give it to God. I do not let it fester and turn into toxic guilt.
Member Writings
Investment in Godly Wisdom and Understanding
“Investment in Godly Wisdom and Understanding”
James 3:13 NIV
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.
I think we would all be very quick to say that we desire to have understanding and wisdom. We all want to know things and become wiser in all that we do. We want to learn more so that we can further our understanding for different things we continue to do in life. We spend so much of our lives continuing to learn different things so that we can fill our minds with more knowledge to be more successful.
With all the learning that we do, I often think the best wisdom we can obtain goes untouched in so many ways from God’s Word. We say we want to grow in Him and that we want to learn humility, but the ways we live our lives really says something totally different all too often.
What are we investing in these days? Where are we putting our time and focus? This is something I have been thinking a lot about, especially with so many changes that have happened over this year. I’m trying to continuously challenge my priorities and where I am putting most of my focus. It’s a daily challenge as it is for us all.
This week, I’d like to ask all of us to seriously consider where we are investing our time? Do we really seek Godly wisdom and understanding? Do we really want to learn what is means to be humble? Are we serious about this learning? We often say we are, but what we are doing daily to be challenged and to learn more about Godly wisdom that will bring more understanding and more humility?
I’m not at all against the different investments we make in our lives for us and our families. We definitely need to invest in different ways, but I have to wonder where we are focusing most of our investing? Are we investing more in material things or in Godly wisdom? I know I am not investing as I should each day.
What do you think others are seeing in your life? Are they seeing you invest in the wisdom from God or from the world? Do they see you investing in understanding His Word more? Are they seeing you become more humble? I think we all need to take a serious look at how we are investing our daily lives and then ask God to give us His wisdom and glean as much as we can even more from His Word like we’ve never done before.
Our greatest investment is gaining Godly wisdom so that we can be more understanding and learn to be more humble.
Weekly Devotional Blog Site www.zwdevotions.com
James 3:13 (LEB)
The Wisdom That Comes Down from AboveWho is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by his“the”; the Greek article is used here as a possessive pronoun good behavior his works, with the humility of wisdom.13The Wisdom That Comes Down from AboveWho is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by his“the”; the Greek article is used here as a possessive pronoun good behavior his works, with the humility of wisdom.
Easy To Understand, Hard To Practice
“Easy To Understand, Hard To Practice”
1 Peter 5:7 NLT
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
There are a lot of things in life that we find very easy to understand, but then they are difficult to put into practice. Often times we are given instructions to do something and, at first, the instructions seem simple. However, once we get into the nitty-gritty of actually following through, we come to find out that it’s more than we bargained for! It isn’t necessarily that we made a wrong choice per say, but we just definitely don’t understand how hard it is to actually follow through with certain things.
We all struggle with different situations, whatever they may be. We may think something sounds cool, but then when we actually jump in and start, we find out that it’s so much harder than we first thought. We honestly want things as easy as possible. I know I do! When we’re faced with instructions or obstacles that are hard, we tend to hesitate and try another way so that we can avoid any extra work or effort. As I said before, there are so many different scenarios that seem easy to understand up-front, but once we get going and try to follow through, we find ourselves having a hard time keeping up and actually committing to finishing.
This passage really hit me the other day as I pondered how hard it is for me to give all my worries and cares to God. I mean, it’s so simple to understand that we should give all of our worries and cares over to God. He wants us to leave those things at the Cross and to trust in Him. We know that. We’ve been taught this for so many years, yet we find ourselves struggling to do this each and every day. It’s so simple to say it and tell others we need to do it. But then actually following through and letting God take these things from us is a different story all together!
I have struggled for so much of life giving Him all my worries and cares and just letting Him be in control. I want to worry and fret and be anxious and stress about everything it seems! Well…..I really don’t want to, but by the way I live, it sure seems that way often! God doesn’t want us to hold on to these things and live with all these things burdening us. He wants us to give it all over to Him and trust that He will guide us through. He doesn’t want us carrying these things on our own. He wants us to give it all to Him.
This is so easy to understand, but very hard to put into practice. However, it is a daily challenge and learning experience as we grow in our faith and allow Him to take our worries and cares. Are we willing to give those up and actually follow through in letting Him be in control?
The ball is in our court. Are we going to give these things to God and let Him be in control?
Weekly Devotional Blog Site www.zwdevotions.com
1 Peter 5:7 (LEB)
casting all your cares on him, because he cares“it is a care to him” for you.7casting all your cares on him, because he cares“it is a care to him” for you.
Faith
I had a dream once about God. He was sitting at the head of a conference table talking about me to his angels. Suddenly, he got a sad look on his face. He said, “I just don’t understand why Susannah worries so much. I have always taken care of her. She has always had a roof over her head and food to eat. I have always comforted her during a time of crisis. Why does she still worry so much? You would think that she would have more faith in me.”
I woke up and felt guilty. After that I tried to worry less and internalize my faith more deeply. Faith is a mysterious emotion.
It is kind of like confidence. During a crisis we intuitively feel that everything will work out in the end.
It is kind of like serenity. We feel peaceful.
It is kind of like intimacy. We feel close to God.
It is kind of like humility. We feel frail next to the power of God.
It is kind of like awe. We feel such admiration for God.
It is kind of like awareness. We feel the truth deep in our soul.
It is kind of like joy. We are so happy to be loved.
Faith is like all these things. But it is still mysterious.
How do you get faith? It is a gift. You ask for it and then act “as if” you have it. It comes to you as a small acorn and grows into a great tree draping its branches around your life. If it fades away, you set aside everything you are doing to find it and bring it back into your life.
What do you do with faith? You enjoy it and you share it with others. You guard it carefully. It is your most valuable possession. When others are in trouble, who have less faith than you, you bolster them up with affirmations. You tell them how time and time again God has seen you through a crisis. You share with them how everything good in your life has come from God. Then you stand in for God. You act as an emissary and help these people in any way you can. When you part, you don’t say, “I love you,” you say, “God loves you. Have faith in him.”
When you pray, pray for faith. Everything else is in God’s hands. He will decide what is best for you. He will determine how long you are to suffer. He will determine the source of all your income. He will put the right people in your life and take the wrong ones out. If you attempt to do this yourself, you will make mistakes. Let God do it all. Just ask for faith so that you can relax while God is controlling your life.
As you grow old, thank God for your faith. So many people suffer because they do not have it. Have compassion for these people and praise the Lord for blessing you.
He Is Our Shield, Glory And Only Hope
“He Is Our Shield, Glory And Only Hope”
Psalm 3:3-4 NLT
But you, O Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high. I cried out to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy mountain.
In a sermon many years ago, I heard Chuck Swindoll say that he has been asked many times how people who don’t know the Lord get through their problems and trials. He then said not to come up and ask him that question because he didn’t know the answer to it. I’ve never forgotten that statement and have shared it many times with others. I also do not know how people, who don’t know God, make it through different challenging times in life.
As hard as life is often times, I cannot imagine dealing with all the challenging times without God to guide me and comfort me. Life is hard enough and just to even imagine dealing with hard times without Him just seems impossible. I can’t even imagine going through life without knowing He is with me and guiding me, even though there are many things I continue to not understand. He is my Shield and my Glory and only Hope in life. The world around me does not and will never give me what He does.
In the past months, I have been focusing many of my devotionals on dealing with challenging circumstances because I feel that is what God has been laying on my heart to share because we are all dealing with situations, circumstances and emotions that we have never before dealt with. I know that I need daily reminders that God is helping me through this uncharted waters and I believe you all do as well. Even though we all may be dealing with new experiences this year, God continues to be Who He is and that will never change.
Never forget that He is our eternal Shield, eternal Glory and eternal Hope! We all have good days and we all have bad days. It is definitely easier to have hope when days are good and we are feeling good about the future. However, when times seem gloom, it’s much harder and much more challenging.
I would like to leave us with this prayer as we continue to go about our days through this consistently challenging year.
Father, we thank You for being our constant Shield, Glory and Hope. We just cannot imagine dealing with life and not having hope in You. Where would we go and how would we even deal with all these things if we could not come to You with our burdens and concerns? Father, please help us to put our trust and hope solely in You always! Let us never forget that You are guiding us, even when we cannot feel it. Give us daily strength to do what only You can do through us. We know You are leading and we just need to trust, even when things seem very confusing. We trust and hope in You! Amen.
Weekly Devotional Blog Site www.zwdevotions.com
His Unfailing Love Never Ceases
“His Unfailing Love Never Ceases”
Psalm 86:5-7 NLT
O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help. Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord; hear my urgent cry. I will call to you whenever I’m in trouble, and you will answer me.
Over half of the year has flown by and is full of events that we would like to soon forget! We have all been exposed to new emotions and circumstances that we never though would occur. We are all continuing to deal with the inconsistency of different events that keep popping up all over the world. It can get very overwhelming at times.
No matter what we continue to experience, we can be assured that our Almighty Father never ceases to pour out His unfailing love. No matter what is troubling us, we can bring these burdens to Him and He will shower us with His unfailing love. He is good and is so ready to forgive, no matter what is in our recent past or years past. He will always listen closely to our prayers. Take some time to read through the Psalms of prayers from David. You will see the heart of a man of God pouring his deepest pain out to God.
No matter what is going on in our lives, we must always remember that God’s unfailing love will never cease. That is a promise you can always count on! Don’t listen to the lies the enemy is trying to feed you. God always hears our urgent cries for help and we must keep an open mind and remember that He works in His ways and not ours. Isaiah says that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not ours. We often get into trouble when we expect God to work in our timing. He has never worked that way and never will.
I can’t promise you that God will take your pain away right now in whatever you are dealing with, but I can tell you that pain will never be in vain. Whatever pain you are experiencing with waiting for answers, please keep trusting in Him and know He is working, even when you can’t feel or see that.
We need to remember in the times of hardship that God wants to connect with us and commune like we’ve never done before. It’s in these times that He can transform us and mold us like He’s never been able to do before. We so often want Him to change our circumstances and the things around us, but what He wants to do more than anything is change our hearts so that we grow more in our faith.
Never forget that His unfailing love never ceases, no matter what we feel or what we think. His love and faithfulness endures forever!
Weekly Devotional Blog Site www.zwdevotions.com