Liannemomi
Member
Is there anyone else who also believes in biblical child rearing? it sometimes feels like im only one
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Biblical Discipline
- Thread starter Liannemomi
- Start date
Luminous_Rose
CF Ambassador
I think the definition of "Biblical child rearing," quite varies these days. One person might have one definition for it, while another person may have a different view on it.
I do my my best to be as Biblical as possible when dealing with my own kids.
I do my my best to be as Biblical as possible when dealing with my own kids.
Dorothy Mae
Member
You’re not alone. We did as well.
What is your definition of "biblical child rearing"?
Dorothy Mae
Member
That is a pretty good question, what is biblical child rearing. Probably the answers are here to there. From observation, parents in the church are quite different. And even if they were not, children are different.
Luminous_Rose
CF Ambassador
I'm not certain how to even answer this in words...
Dorothy Mae
Member
If you can’t put it into words, how can you measure if you’re doing it?
Luminous_Rose
CF Ambassador
I'm sorry, it's been a rough weekend. I'm pretty scrambled in my brain right now. Thoughts aren't wanting to flow as they should.
Liannemomi
Member
Its obv. more than just say a spankin lol punishment and discipline are different, but basically raising them to respect or honor mother and father, listen to them, trust in God, be honest, compassionate, self-disciplined people. To help others , and be god stewards of the Lord.. there is alot to it, correction of course has its place . but its so much more.
Dorothy Mae
Member
That’s understandable, we all have those times.
I am saying this with my tongue in my cheek, but I have a strong willed, selfish Spaniel dog who likes his own way, and they act instinctively. The only thing that worked was the constant repetition of the word NO. Eventually it sank in, and he remembered it. Now he is as good as gold and a word of praise works wonders. They only want to please and be loved. Children, I found are not much different except they are far quicker learners. 
So, praise that which is scripturally good and the word NO to keep them out of moral danger when you see them taking the wrong path as can happen quite innocently.
.
So, praise that which is scripturally good and the word NO to keep them out of moral danger when you see them taking the wrong path as can happen quite innocently.
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Last edited:
It was @leannmommi who wrote "Is there anyone else who also believes in biblical child rearing? it sometimes feels like im only one" I'm interested in what she means.
Here is her (confusing) reply to "biblical child rearing.
"a spanking lol punishment and discipline are different" is very confusing.
I'm sure that most parents agree that "raising them to respect or honor mother and father, listen to them, trust in God, be honest, compassionate, self-disciplined people. To help others , and be god [sic] stewards of the Lord."
Liannemomi
Member
If you pray about it and read some scriptures , asking God to speak to you on it, you'll understand it better I am sure.
That is a cop out. I could say the same thing about you.
You wrote about disciplining children. What are your thoughts?
Liannemomi
Member
Those are my thoughts. discipline teaches.
You couldn't possibly be more vague. Discipline teaches? What do you mean by "discipline" and what does it teach?
Dorothy Mae
Member
Maybe it would be interesting for parents to talk about how they raised their children that turned out well.
Luminous_Rose
CF Ambassador
As far as "Biblical child rearing" goes, I feel it is important to gauge the situation with a level head. Of course as parents we all make mistakes and might be angry or utterly disappointed with our kids and react before we think. It's important for Christian parents to exercise what God teaches us and how God teaches us to be in order to be a good example for our children.
I think parenting is also a good lesson of patience for even parents. There will be good and bad days with kids. I know my kids test my patience on the daily. I can either give in and get angry, or I can find a way to resist getting angry and focus on more how to keep calm. I can think, "What might Jesus do in this type of situation? Would he be angry? How would he address it? What might he say?" When my oldest was little, she thought it was funny when I would put myself in "time out." That's the best way I knew how to describe it so I could calm down and then address a situation while thinking more rationally. I told her, "Sometimes even adults need time outs, too, and that's okay." There will days kids drive you crazy and sometimes I find myself asking, "Why do my kids have to be so much like me?!" I realize what faults my kids have as people, but sometimes it's the same exact problem in my life or with behavior that I have. It gives me the ability to sympathize and for us to both work on positive change together. Kids love it when they can work on a common goal together when mom and/or dad.
My oldest used to love it when I'd ask her at the end of each day, "What was your favorite part of today?" and if she said, "Nothing." I would ask, "Can you name one good thing that happened?" Then, she'd usually think of something she could be grateful for. I remember out of nowhere I stopped asking and my oldest would remind me, she always liked thinking about one good thing about each day. After a point, she couldn't think of much "bad", but focused more on the "good."
There are times where a spanking may be needed, but I don't believe it's the "go to" for everything. Some parents use it as a "solve all" type punishment and as a parent I cannot say I'm that way.
At times with my kids (mostly the oldest), if she gets spanked - some days she's laughing about it and it doesn't work. She'll just get up and do the same thing again and again - it doesn't click. Although, there was a time she lied to her teacher she didn't have her snack for school for like 3-4 days (when we did sent a snack she could have) to get what she thought was the better snack. In this case goldfish crackers. So, we had her use her own allowance to buy the huge carton of goldfish crackers (we have her replace more than she actually stole as that's fair) - about $10 and my husband took her in to personally apologize to her teacher. That put more of a reality shock into her than anything else of, "Oh, if I steal it...I gotta replace it with more than I actually stole..." She hasn't done it again and realizes, "I don't get to spent my allowance on something I want if I have to pay someone back for what I stole." That worked better than the spanking did and show some real life application with it.
Other times, if it's immediate disrespect against me or dad...perhaps she says something incredibly rude on the spot then yeah, I think a spanking will help that. It's no use always trying to get through a kid by talking it out with they have disrespected you so bluntly and stuck in that attitude. After the punishment would be a good time to talk over the feelings and what to do better next time when they come out of that state of being so rude.
Perhaps I've told them, "Get in your carseat, please so I can help you buckled up," and they do not listen (mostly my youngest) and think it's funny to try and get into the driver's or passenger's seat. I'll say, "You get a swat if you don't get in your seat." If they disobey even with warning then yeah, they're getting a swat.
I often times try to warn them if they don't shape up then there will be a spanking involved. Sometimes they listen and are like, "Yeah, oh...don't want that!" Other times they don't seem to care and get into more trouble.
I also tell them what they did wrong before and after punishment or discipline and what we do next time instead to avoid being in trouble and let them know that I love them and want them to make good choices. I try to make discipline and punishment something for them to learn from and understand, not something that confuses them to the point where they're thinking, "What did I do wrong?!"
I also don't believe it's Biblical to beat a child to the point they're black and blue or to a point where they can't sit down or show signs of injury. At that point, that screams abuse. A spanking shouldn't have after effects that last days, weeks, or months. It should be enough for the moment.
I don't believe it's right for parents to tease or antagonize their children to the point their children become angry and lash out. This is the verse I keep in mind about this:
Ephesians 6:4 NIV:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Parents have to get creative at times as each discipline and punishment style isn't going to work for every single child and the situations and setting vary.
Having a child and not disciplining them ever will reap horrid consequences later. It becomes harder and harder to correct the older they get.
I also keep in mind:
Hebrews 12:11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
(I noticed I also got Liannemomi mixed with my own username...sorry about that >_< )
I think parenting is also a good lesson of patience for even parents. There will be good and bad days with kids. I know my kids test my patience on the daily. I can either give in and get angry, or I can find a way to resist getting angry and focus on more how to keep calm. I can think, "What might Jesus do in this type of situation? Would he be angry? How would he address it? What might he say?" When my oldest was little, she thought it was funny when I would put myself in "time out." That's the best way I knew how to describe it so I could calm down and then address a situation while thinking more rationally. I told her, "Sometimes even adults need time outs, too, and that's okay." There will days kids drive you crazy and sometimes I find myself asking, "Why do my kids have to be so much like me?!" I realize what faults my kids have as people, but sometimes it's the same exact problem in my life or with behavior that I have. It gives me the ability to sympathize and for us to both work on positive change together. Kids love it when they can work on a common goal together when mom and/or dad.
My oldest used to love it when I'd ask her at the end of each day, "What was your favorite part of today?" and if she said, "Nothing." I would ask, "Can you name one good thing that happened?" Then, she'd usually think of something she could be grateful for. I remember out of nowhere I stopped asking and my oldest would remind me, she always liked thinking about one good thing about each day. After a point, she couldn't think of much "bad", but focused more on the "good."
There are times where a spanking may be needed, but I don't believe it's the "go to" for everything. Some parents use it as a "solve all" type punishment and as a parent I cannot say I'm that way.
At times with my kids (mostly the oldest), if she gets spanked - some days she's laughing about it and it doesn't work. She'll just get up and do the same thing again and again - it doesn't click. Although, there was a time she lied to her teacher she didn't have her snack for school for like 3-4 days (when we did sent a snack she could have) to get what she thought was the better snack. In this case goldfish crackers. So, we had her use her own allowance to buy the huge carton of goldfish crackers (we have her replace more than she actually stole as that's fair) - about $10 and my husband took her in to personally apologize to her teacher. That put more of a reality shock into her than anything else of, "Oh, if I steal it...I gotta replace it with more than I actually stole..." She hasn't done it again and realizes, "I don't get to spent my allowance on something I want if I have to pay someone back for what I stole." That worked better than the spanking did and show some real life application with it.
Other times, if it's immediate disrespect against me or dad...perhaps she says something incredibly rude on the spot then yeah, I think a spanking will help that. It's no use always trying to get through a kid by talking it out with they have disrespected you so bluntly and stuck in that attitude. After the punishment would be a good time to talk over the feelings and what to do better next time when they come out of that state of being so rude.
Perhaps I've told them, "Get in your carseat, please so I can help you buckled up," and they do not listen (mostly my youngest) and think it's funny to try and get into the driver's or passenger's seat. I'll say, "You get a swat if you don't get in your seat." If they disobey even with warning then yeah, they're getting a swat.
I often times try to warn them if they don't shape up then there will be a spanking involved. Sometimes they listen and are like, "Yeah, oh...don't want that!" Other times they don't seem to care and get into more trouble.
I also tell them what they did wrong before and after punishment or discipline and what we do next time instead to avoid being in trouble and let them know that I love them and want them to make good choices. I try to make discipline and punishment something for them to learn from and understand, not something that confuses them to the point where they're thinking, "What did I do wrong?!"
I also don't believe it's Biblical to beat a child to the point they're black and blue or to a point where they can't sit down or show signs of injury. At that point, that screams abuse. A spanking shouldn't have after effects that last days, weeks, or months. It should be enough for the moment.
I don't believe it's right for parents to tease or antagonize their children to the point their children become angry and lash out. This is the verse I keep in mind about this:
Ephesians 6:4 NIV:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Parents have to get creative at times as each discipline and punishment style isn't going to work for every single child and the situations and setting vary.
Having a child and not disciplining them ever will reap horrid consequences later. It becomes harder and harder to correct the older they get.
I also keep in mind:
Hebrews 12:11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
(I noticed I also got Liannemomi mixed with my own username...sorry about that >_< )
Ephesians chapter 6. Verbal communication is the key. I don't believe belt works. It can cause psychological problems, and aggression. My former pastor, who passed away 2014.
He said his parents had the last word. He could make his point to his parent. But he knew where red lines were.
He said his parents had the last word. He could make his point to his parent. But he knew where red lines were.