CAN A MAN RAPE HIS WIFE?

[D-D-W]

If so, I repeat, you don't understand what rape is.

Apparently our definitions differ there as well.

 

[jasonc]

Needs to be repeated.

I knew a few victims that lived that .
Their fate I don't know as it was with the same idiot who attacked my sister .

I know he did apologize to my mother and is sober . I had to forgive him .

 

[GodsGrace]

I see the problem. You are defining "marriage" in a different way.

I define it as a man and a woman who have made a covenant together. I would like to say "before GOD," but I see atheist, other religions, and secular marriages as legitimate as a proper Christian marriage.

It is indeed an oath.
An oath is a promise made to God.
Or, at least, with God present.

 

[jasonc]

I respect your opinion DDW.
But, as I've said, I don't believe a HUSBAND can rape A WIFE.
A husband and wife means something specific.
God meant something specific when He made Eve for Adam.
A husband and wife goes beyond even living together...two persons living together are NOT
a husband and a wife.

To me marriage is what God intended. A husband is what God intended. A wife is what God intended.
I said early on that if a husband can rape his WIFE, it means there's no real marriage or they're not really married, (the marriage is a sham were my words).

I don't think that's what this thread is about.
The question was simple:
Can a husband (a man) rape a wife?
The answer is NO.

We'll have to agree to disagree.

I can kill my wife because I own a loaded gun and know the use .doesn't mean it's lawful or not a sin.
That's ddw 's point .

A man physically can rape etc doesn't make it right .


You should reword it to is it a sin or a crime if a man forces sex ?

 

[jaybo]

I can kill my wife because I own a loaded gun and know the use .doesn't mean it's lawful or not a sin.
That's ddw 's point .

A man physically can rape etc doesn't make it right .


You should reword it to is it a sin or a crime if a man forces sex ?

If a man forces sex it is rape.

Rape is a type of sexual assault involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without their consent. (wikipedia, with my emphasis)

 

[D-D-W]

I can kill my wife because I own a loaded gun and know the use .doesn't mean it's lawful or not a sin.
That's ddw 's point .
A man physically can rape etc doesn't make it right .

Indeed.

The congregation I went to in college addressed this question as it was just then becoming a "thing." Mid 1970s. They said it was impossible.

So apparently in some people's minds that a husband can sexually brutalize his own wife in any way and it is NOT rape, just because they have a marriage license.

 

[Edward]

I have lived with my wife for 45 years and due to bad teaching and childhood sexual abuse, have gone for years at times with no sexual contact; even been called all kinds of nasty things for even hinting that I wanted it. But even with that I never forced her to do anything.

Even you would have to admit that your situation is very highly non typical situation. The stuff that happened to you explains why you feel like you do, and you very probably are doing the right thing in your situation. No one says you are wrong in your situation, but neither was I wrong in my situation.

You do seem a little overly harsh in your attitude about it though. Could it be possible that you have a sort of root of bitterness about it in your heart and it spills into your tone?

Death penalty, husband and wife. That is not a real marriage then.

 

[GodsGrace]

I can kill my wife because I own a loaded gun and know the use .doesn't mean it's lawful or not a sin.
That's ddw 's point .

A man physically can rape etc doesn't make it right .


You should reword it to is it a sin or a crime if a man forces sex ?

Why should I reword the OP?
It's not even my thread...

 

[D-D-W]

Even you would have to admit that your situation is very highly non typical situation.

Is it? The more I read the numbers on women who were abused as kids keeps going up. Used to be 25%. Then it was 50%. Just recently I spoke to a counselor and he said his numbers were 100% of girls growing up in christian homes had been abused or assaulted before age 18.

You do seem a little overly harsh in your attitude about it though. Could it be possible that you have a sort of root of bitterness about it in your heart and it spills into your tone?

I suppose that is possible.

Death penalty, husband and wife. That is not a real marriage then.

If you have made the covenant, then it IS a real marriage.

Read Joshua 9 on the covenant made with the men of Gibeon who were there under false pretenses. God held them to the covenant.

 

[Edward]

Is it? The more I read the numbers on women who were abused as kids keeps going up. Used to be 25%. Then it was 50%. Just recently I spoke to a counselor and he said his numbers were 100% of girls growing up in christian homes had been abused or assaulted before age 18.

Maybe that explains it. I married a Catholic girl from Europe, lol. She didn't come to me abused and she didn't leave me abused.

I suppose that is possible.

I think so too.

If you have made the covenant, then it IS a real marriage.

Read Joshua 9 on the covenant made with the men of Gibeon who were there under false pretenses. God held them to the covenant.

Touche', Brother! Yes Sir. In fact, it is very commendable that you demonstrate validity of the Marriage covenant and take it seriously.

I asked a couple times earlier in the thread, Isn't the Marriage covenant significant? No one replied directly to the question, but you did indirectly by demonstrating what it looks like. Good on you Sir.

You're a bigger man than I am.

 

[jaybo]

Is it? The more I read the numbers on women who were abused as kids keeps going up. Used to be 25%. Then it was 50%. Just recently I spoke to a counselor and he said his numbers were 100% of girls growing up in christian homes had been abused or assaulted before age 18.

I suppose that is possible.

If you have made the covenant, then it IS a real marriage.

Read Joshua 9 on the covenant made with the men of Gibeon who were there under false pretenses. God held them to the covenant.

100%? Do you really believe that every single girl raised in a Christian home was sexually abused and/or sexually assaulted before she was 18?

 

[D-D-W]

100%? Do you really believe that every single girl raised in a Christian home was sexually abused and/or sexually assaulted before she was 18?

No. But that was his experience in the people he was counseling and doing prayer ministry for.
Probably the people who were not abused were not seeking help as much.
But still, even though his numbers were understandably higher than the averages, the trend is alarming.

 

[Highway54]

I understood you.
A husband cannot rape his wife.
I guess it depends what a person understands rape to be. To me it's extreme violence and violation of a person's body. Fear and terror are a part of this vicious act.

Definition: unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person's will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception

A man can in fact rape his wife wondering

 

[jaybo]

A man can rape his wife if they have agreed about it in advance, something like a role-playing game. But I think it can if he is aggressive by nature.

Rape is taking advantage of another by force, against their will. It has nothing in common with agreement.

 

[miamited]

Hi all,

I'm confused as to why some seem to believe that everyone in the world is a christian. I see these points made that a man can or can't rape his wife depending on what the Scriptures tell us as the way that CHRISTIANS are told to live. Newsflash!!!!!!!!! Everybody in the world is not a christian, so stop basing your ideas of what people should or shouldn't do or can or can't do in their lives, based on what the Scriptures say about the way that believers should live. Folks if unbelievers lived as the believers are told to live, then we'd all be saved.

Yes!! A man, by definition of rape, can rape his wife. Anytime one has sexual relations with another that is unwilling, and then forces themselves on that person...that is rape! And yes, a CHRISTIAN marriage where one has to force themselves on another, is a troubled relationship. But I honestly doubt the issue comes up in a born again believer's CRISTIAN marriage, because they would both be striving to live by those instructions that some seem to think the whole world is obligated to honor.

God bless,
Ted

 

[D-D-W]

Yes!! A man, by definition of rape, can rape his wife. Anytime one has sexual relations with another that is unwilling, and then forces themselves on that person...that is rape! And yes, a CHRISTIAN marriage where one has to force themselves on another, is a troubled relationship. But I honestly doubt the issue comes up in a born again believer's CRISTIAN marriage, because they would both be striving to live by those instructions that some seem to think the whole world is obligated to honor.

Newsflash!!!!! The majority of Christians do NOT live up to what they are supposed to be striving for. We do not live as one as our Lord prayed (John 17) and we do not love each other as Messiah loves us.

That is why Paul specifically instructed the Corinth married couples (1 Cor 7) to STOP refusing each other. He said it would lead to sinful behavior. I do not believe it was just adultery he was talking about. Forcing yourself on your spouse also fits that bill.

 

[miamited]

Newsflash!!!!! The majority of Christians do NOT live up to what they are supposed to be striving for. We do not live as one as our Lord prayed (John 17) and we do not love each other as Messiah loves us.

That is why Paul specifically instructed the Corinth married couples (1 Cor 7) to STOP refusing each other. He said it would lead to sinful behavior. I do not believe it was just adultery he was talking about. Forcing yourself on your spouse also fits that bill.

Hi D-D-W

You'll get no argument from me on that. But we certainly can't expect unbelievers to be living by the Scriptures.

God bless,
Ted

 

[Welshlady38]

From the perspective of a woman, rape is when a person forces themself upon another when it is clear that person does not want it. Therefore, a man can rape his wife. If she says ‘no’ but he uses his physical strength to overpower her, it is rape. It’s quite simple really

 

[Riven]

Hi D-D-W

You'll get no argument from me on that. But we certainly can't expect unbelievers to be living by the Scriptures.

God bless,
Ted

Most unbelievers don't go around raping women either.

 

[miamited]

Most unbelievers don't go around raping women either.

Right! I wasn't insinuating that unbelievers do rape women. My point was that we just can't expect unbelievers to live as believers in just about anything that we do as we live our lives upon this planet of God's creating. Unbelievers have a different worldview. It's really just that simple. Believers believe that there is an omnipotent God who rules over everything and that everything that exists was made by Him. So many 'christians' seem to have this attitude that if they could just 'make these heathen' live by the law of God, that they will then be like themselves. But that isn't true. Our hope comes from our faith that Jesus died for our sin. The Scriptures are relatively clear that keeping the law isn't going to save anyone. Despite that fact that none of us can do it, even if we desired to. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

What really differentiates our future vs. theirs, is the underlying promise and faith in the work of Jesus. Unbelievers won't ever have that assurance of faith, no matter how 'good' they live their lives according to the metric of men, or in some comparison to God's law.

God bless,
Ted