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Catholicism is making me suicidal

P

Padster

Member
Hello,
Personal medical circumstances have caused severe problems with my Catholic faith, and I now see that the dogmas and doctrines of the Church are so impossible to follow that many Catholics simply ignore them in order to remain Catholic whilst also living a normal, happy life. Something is very wrong indeed at the heart of the Catholic faith when ignorance becomes the mainstay of belief. My experiences over the past six years have been utterly horrible, Catholicism spreading like a toxic poison to ruin any relationship I might have had with God. The situation I am in has become so completely irreconcilable that I cannot see a way out other than suicide. Before you recoil with horror, I need to tell you this to show you just how devastating the Catholic Magisterium can be to a person's emotional and mental well-being. Those who fall foul of it are forced between a rock and a hard place, and are faced with a choice, leave the Church or stay in it and pretend you are 'whole'. I cannot stress how truly disgusting this Magisterium is, because when confronted with a case like mine, the priests move the goal posts and utter a word called 'scrupulosity'. This neatly absolves them of responsibility for creating such dogmas in the first place, or of the need to change any of them.

The Catholic Church is rotten to the core if it can cause people to be so unhappy with themselves that they consider suicide.
 
Padster said:
the dogmas and doctrines of the Church
Click to expand...

You have hit the nail on the head with this statement. Not every Church/religion is of God as they teach man's doctrines and not the doctrines of Christ. We need to flee from such and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us to where God wants us to be for our Spiritual growth.

Latin root word for religion is bondage, which is different then that of Gods pure religion of James 1:27, but that of following tradition and the doctrine of a mans church, not Gods true Church. The Latin root word is religare as re is a prefix that means return and ligare means to bind. Religion tells you what you can and cannot do and becomes socially acceptable by mans interpretations, traditions and doctrines. Religion is what nailed Christ to the cross because the Bible is not socially acceptable to society, if it were then Christ would have died in vain. God is not about mans religion, nor does he recognize organized religion. God is about a personal relationship with you and His son Jesus Christ.

John 1:1 in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 the same was in the beginning with God. 3 all things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 in him was life; and the life was the light of men. 5 and the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Romans 10:10 for with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

The biggest deception Satan can use is to confuse the unlearned mind. God said his people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. You forget me and my word and I will forget you and your children. This is a pretty profound statement that holds so much truth. This is why this world is in the shape it is in today with so many religions claiming they are the true religion and only they will go to heaven and those who do not conform to their ways will go to hell.
 
:wave2 Padster welcome to CF and glad you are here with us. This is a heavy burden on you and I pray God will lift this burden off your shoulders as you seek and find answers and are led by the Holy Spirit to lead you where you need to be as where you are is not healthy for your soul. Your in my prayers and always here if you need to talk in private.
 
Padster , first of all, welcpme to CF.net! It is great to have you with us =)

I am sorry to hear that Catholicism is causing you so much grief and internal spiritual conflicts. It is at this point that we should ask ourselves, "Are they following God's word? Am I at fault or is it the church that is at fault for my spiritual decline? Is it time for a change?"

I remember growing up in a Christian church and I struggled with it for many years how their doctrine was. I didn't get a lot of my questions answered or people acted like the questions I asked were sinful. I blamed myself. I felt like something was wrong with me. Why did I hate church? Why did I feel like I was never growing in my relationship with God? Why is my faith so weak? One day, I met a nice gentleman who later showed me how to find answers in The Holy Bible by myself so I could make more appropriate decisions. We later married and he has helped me grow so much.

My path was a rocky and dark one as I was lost in self hate...I, too, wanted to kill myself years ago. I was also lost in my internet addiction, depression, anxiety, and paranoia. I felt like I was only "existing". I am glad I am here today or I would have never gotten married nor would I have two wonderful children. I am now surrounded by so many supportive people that I never dreamed would enter my life. The blessings have been countless and God has answered my prayers.

I will be praying for you. It is always a pleasure to be a listening ear as well =)

Here are a few good resources that I hope will be useful:

EXIT – Living Waters

www.livingwaters.com www.livingwaters.com

www.livingwaters.com

Save Yourself Some Pain | Living Waters

Do you want to grow as believer? Here are five steps for spiritual growth. These will help you mature as a disciple of Christ, and help you save yourself some pain.
www.livingwaters.com www.livingwaters.com

www.livingwaters.com

Hell’s Best Kept Secret | Living Waters

Why do 80–90% of those making a decision for Christ fall away from the faith? What is the biblical principle that Spurgeon, Wesley, Whitefield, etc., used to reach the lost? Why has the Church neglected it? Don’t let anything stop you from listening to this incredible teaching.
www.livingwaters.com www.livingwaters.com
 
Padster said:
Hello,
Personal medical circumstances have caused severe problems with my Catholic faith, and I now see that the dogmas and doctrines of the Church are so impossible to follow that many Catholics simply ignore them in order to remain Catholic whilst also living a normal, happy life. Something is very wrong indeed at the heart of the Catholic faith when ignorance becomes the mainstay of belief. My experiences over the past six years have been utterly horrible, Catholicism spreading like a toxic poison to ruin any relationship I might have had with God. The situation I am in has become so completely irreconcilable that I cannot see a way out other than suicide. Before you recoil with horror, I need to tell you this to show you just how devastating the Catholic Magisterium can be to a person's emotional and mental well-being. Those who fall foul of it are forced between a rock and a hard place, and are faced with a choice, leave the Church or stay in it and pretend you are 'whole'. I cannot stress how truly disgusting this Magisterium is, because when confronted with a case like mine, the priests move the goal posts and utter a word called 'scrupulosity'. This neatly absolves them of responsibility for creating such dogmas in the first place, or of the need to change any of them.

The Catholic Church is rotten to the core if it can cause people to be so unhappy with themselves that they consider suicide.
Click to expand...

Well I wouldn't put it the way that you have.
Sure the Catholics have some problems...but so do the other denominations. The American Catholic Church is very different from the Catholic Church of the rest of the world.
It all depends upon the Cardinals and Bishops focus for your area.

I'm not dismissing the issues you are having...far from it. I'm just saying that they aren't evil as they are not able to help you with your spiritual growth. There is probably another denomination that you will feel more comfortable with and they will be able to assist you with your spiritual walk.

I would recommend that likely a Methodist Church would be a good start.

But there are two different kinds of Methodist churches. Lutheran or Presbyterian Church might also be a way to go. Episcopalian probably won't be able to help you at all with your journey and Disciples of Christ or Church of Christ or any of the Charismatic churches either.

But in the meantime you are welcome to hang out here and learn, grow, and ask questions about this faith that we all hold most dear.
 
Many thanks for your comments.
I've been a church organist for 25 years, but I have come to the conclusion that we don't need organised religion at all. Nor do we need the Bible. All we need are the ten commandments plus the commandment Jesus gave us to love one another. We don't need anything else, because it will just get in the way of living a normal, happy life. The Catholic Church is great for kids and old people. I genuinely believe that (abuse scandals aside). I personally had very positive experiences of Catholicism when I was younger. But when you get older the reality of life comes up against the fantasy of the Magisterium, and if you get stuck between them you are in for a rough time, because the two are irreconcilable. This, I believe, is the major reason that younger adults leave the church. So that is why I say that the Catholic Church is a religion for children and old people, because those two groups don't have to grapple with issues of sexuality etc which could wreck their faith.
 
Padster said:
Many thanks for your comments.
I've been a church organist for 25 years, but I have come to the conclusion that we don't need organised religion at all. Nor do we need the Bible. All we need are the ten commandments plus the commandment Jesus gave us to love one another. We don't need anything else, because it will just get in the way of living a normal, happy life. The Catholic Church is great for kids and old people. I genuinely believe that (abuse scandals aside). I personally had very positive experiences of Catholicism when I was younger. But when you get older the reality of life comes up against the fantasy of the Magisterium, and if you get stuck between them you are in for a rough time, because the two are irreconcilable. This, I believe, is the major reason that younger adults leave the church. So that is why I say that the Catholic Church is a religion for children and old people, because those two groups don't have to grapple with issues of sexuality etc which could wreck their faith.
Click to expand...

I would strongly recommend against what you have concluded.
How can we know about God unless it is written down?
And being in a relationship with God is more than sitting about thinking holy thoughts.

We are made to be social creatures. And not just surface, shallow relationships but intimate relationships with others who knows the good and the bad about you and loves you anyway. That only happens with time. Lots of it.
And together we can do all kinds of altruistic things. Much more than we can individually.

And if you live in a purely self serving society it will self destruct.
 
Padster said:
Nor do we need the Bible.
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I don't want this to sound harsh or anything so please do not take it that way as I am hurting for you and where you are right now, but I have to disagree with this as we do need the Bible as it is our instruction in God's righteousness. The ten commandments are all good and we are commanded to follow them especially the greatest commandment of love, but without God's written word we would not have the knowledge and wisdom that God wants us to grow in through His Holy Spirit that strengthens our faith in Him.

Another reason is that we need to study and allow the Holy Spirit teach us so we do not fall prey to all the false doctrines that Satan loves to teach. The Gospels are the doctrine of Christ for what He taught and what our relationship with Him is all about. It would be like going to school, but not having any text books to study out of. You might want to rethink this as being a Spiritually born again from above child of God we should have that hunger to know everything we can about Him and His Son Jesus Christ.

I too was broken in spirit by a church I went to and became very suicidal in thought as I had some major life issues, but told to figure them out for myself. I soon left that church as when I cried out to God for help His Holy Spirit led me to another Church where all me Spiritual needs were met and brought me a new life in Christ.

2 Timothy 2:15 Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 16 But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.
 
I feel we need Scripture, Reason, Tradition and Experience to guide us, Scripture is primary, but one's Tradition determines the Scope of Scripture - Catholics have more books than PROTESTANTS, Orthodox have a tad more than that. The Tewahedo church has more books in the NEW Testament, never translated into English.

As I tried to point out in the thread about HOW LONG WAS DANIEL IN THE LIONS DEN, we need the Bible and the 66 books of Protestant Bible are common to all Christians.

I am sorry you are so dissatisfied, Padster, with your church, but don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. YOU HAVE MANY ALTERNATIVES. An organist without organized religion would be limiting, a church without the Bible would be goofy, IMO.
 
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Padster said:
Nah, I'm done with it all. I don't need it anymore, it is bad for my mental health.
Click to expand...

Defeat is a state of an unstable mind that can not see clearly as it actually comes from Satan who plays with your mind. Been there, went through it and it almost cost me my life. Actually it's not so much the church, even though some can play its deceptive part, but that of our self not knowing or understanding that of what God wants us to learn.

Like I said before, the Bible is our instruction in God's righteousness, but if we let man teach us instead of the Holy Spirit then we will find the place like you are in now. You really need to be seeking God right now instead of running away from Him. I feel God brought you to this forum as you are seeking answers and it's when you can open up to others that are truly concerned about you is when you will soon see the answer to your problem is within the scriptures and those of us who want to share the scriptures with you. You need to start praying and seeking the Lord as when you seek there you will find Him.

My prayer for you is that you stick around here long enough as we are here to edify you and lift you up as a brother in Christ. We are not just people here, but a family of God that loves one another no matter who they are or where they come from.

If you ever want to talk in private just PM me as it will remain confidential.
 
Tools have positive and negative uses.
Alcohol in proper use is a true blessing to society. It can be a great antiseptic, steralizer, and vehicle for medicine delivery...or it can be misused and start fires, cause drunkenness, or something like that.

Just because many misuse a tool doesn't mean that the tool is bad or evil.

The "simple answer" is usually never the right answer.

A broken arm is not best fixed by cutting it off...or just being given painkillers. It takes setting the bones and a restraint so the bones can re-knit and then physical therapy to use the arm again.

Just saying...
 
Padster said:
Many thanks for your comments.
I've been a church organist for 25 years, but I have come to the conclusion that we don't need organised religion at all. Nor do we need the Bible. All we need are the ten commandments plus the commandment Jesus gave us to love one another. We don't need anything else, because it will just get in the way of living a normal, happy life. The Catholic Church is great for kids and old people. I genuinely believe that (abuse scandals aside). I personally had very positive experiences of Catholicism when I was younger. But when you get older the reality of life comes up against the fantasy of the Magisterium, and if you get stuck between them you are in for a rough time, because the two are irreconcilable. This, I believe, is the major reason that younger adults leave the church. So that is why I say that the Catholic Church is a religion for children and old people, because those two groups don't have to grapple with issues of sexuality etc which could wreck their faith.
Click to expand...

I suppose it depends on one's definition of "religion" and whether they need it or not.

When you say you don't need The Holy Bible, that is highly concerning. God's word is God.

John 1:1-5 tell us:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2 The same was in the beginning with God.

3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

We need God's word to grow! If we neglect God's word we neglect Him. Personally, I used to be so bored of the bible and it was hard to understand at parts. I was discouraged and it collected dust in my closet. I am convinced if I would have read my bible daily I wouldn't have suffered from depression, anxiety, and poor health related to filling that spiritual void with internet addiction.

God's word has more instructions on how we should live our lives that are found beyond Exodus 20. What about loving our enemies? How to solve conflicts with others? How we should pray? There is so much information in there that is vital to our spiritual wellbeing. We can't just pick a part and say, "I like this part of the Bible so I will stick to this and ignore the rest." When I did pick my bible up again, I found fascinating stuff the church I went to did not talk about and this sparked my interest to learn.

With more understanding of God's word comes prayer and discussion from our hearts to God. This also helps us grow. Ignoring The Holy Bible is like building a building and forgetting the foundation - it will crumble and fall at some point. Learning this the hard way is painful.

I can't help but notice your focus on living a "normal, happy life". Everyone has their ideas on what a normal, happy life is. What is a normal life to you? What is a happy life to you? This is okay as long as it falls in line with God's word or God's will. I will tell you that living a life in Christ is not an easy road and there are times it will include suffering or prrsecution. Look at what happened to the 12 disciples or even Job. Take a read through 1 & 2 Peter or Romans 8.

Christ is for everyone no matter their age so if you feel a church is only for two age groups then something is missing here. I felt this way at one time, and I realized I was in a setting that was hindering my spiritual growth.

We all have our struggles, our frustrations, and our times of anger or bitterness. This makes us human. God's word is there to help us fight the desires of the flesh and guide us in walking in the Spirit (take a peek at Galatians 5 that help describe what our character should be like in the fruits of the Spirit).
 
Hello Padster
I'm wondering why you are so against God's written word and why your mind is in s uch a turmoil. You believe on the 10 commandments and in the two commandments of Jesus, but not the rest Sometimes it is because we want to do something that we know is wrong, so we don't want to believe it. Satan loves that to happen and he plays havoc with your mind. Is this happening to you?
We are here for you.
 
Oh by the way Padster, welcome to the forum and yes please remember even though I have been there as well, nothing is important enough to end your life for.
 
Thank you for all your kind comments. The situation has now regained some stability. The Devil has indeed played absolute havoc with my mind, so all my previous comments in this thread must be taken with a large pinch of salt. Somehow I 'snapped out of it' this morning and decided to go to communion, after which I felt a great sense of peace and contentment and things returned to normal. It seems that the Devil likes to take something you love dearly and turn it against you so that you absolutely hate it. Had he got his way, I would have left the church, turned from God, and ultimately ended my life as well. That's how bad it can get.
 
Hello Padster,

I am truly sorry to hear the circumstances you have been fighting though. I am pleased you have been to church, and you see that Satan has been the orchestrator of your pain.
The devil is an insidious being; one of which takes pleasure in mans doubt of God. Satan plants doubt in our mind like a seed in compost, and allow it to mature; eventually we evolve to despise God, and we have a mental fracture, which tears our faith from us.
I thank God for showing you the manipulative plan of the trickster we call the devil, and that He has guided you back onto the correct path.

I will pray for strength, guidance and purity from our Lord; and remember, God see's your pain and troubles, He will never abandon us!

P.S. Welcome to the forums, I am pleased you have had the confidence to discuss this sensitive matter with us. If you ever need to talk, please do not hesitate to PM me.
 
Yay, Padster!
Glad to hear things are better!
Satan is a sticky wicket - is he a defeated foe, bound by the strong man, cast out?
Or still prowling about seeking whom he may devour?
All of it, I guess, but greater is He that is in US than he that is in the world.
 
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