Whenever we make anything a must do prior to God saving us, and God saves us because of that we must do ir have done, we automatically forfeit salvation by Grace and come under the opposing view of salvation by works.
If a person says that they were saved after they obeyed, or after they believed, this person is in essence saying, salvation is of myself, of my work, and whether they admit it or not, they have something to boast of. Yet Gods word insists that salvation is the Gift of God, not of man, its not of works lest any man boast Eph 2:8-9
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
For me language of life confuses meaning. If you look at life as a series of tasks, which are done, irrespective of context or relation, then the idea of a conditional action seems to devalue that action. But if language is an emotional expression of life, and God himself is an emotional being, emotions being the response and being of an individual, then words like salvation, the action of saving take on a different meaning.
Sinful man has a problem of relationship or emotional openness and reaching out to others. Just look at sinful people. They are not happy, they are totally compromised and place their selfish desires above others for their own gratification no matter the cost. So getting rich matters more than the suffering entailed in the process, or committing adultery matters less than the hurt done to other parties. Jesus said the wages of sin is death. We often think of this as Gods judgement, but Jesus is referring to the results of sinful behaviour is the destruction of everything we hold dear. Compromise does not work, you have to work things through.
So in terms of being saved, it is all about love transforming and giving life to everything we do, say, feel and are. We are not saved with a condition of having a relationship with God, having a relationship with God is eternal life. If one throws away the relationship and think you have life for evermore in heaven, you do not have or know salvation or God.
The Lords first command is strange. To love Him above everything else. But it is an infinite return of reality. Love is worthy of respect, ultimate exultation, and the more you know the more you love love. So in a sense by discovering love you actually fulfil the command rather than working at it in one sense. The command exists as a sign post to those who do not yet know love, that love can set them free.
My father strove all his life for significance in the eyes of others, while walking away from his wife and kids. He felt that he had made it, while missing the very thing that could have given him life. In his heart he liked the words of religion but denied its reality, and could never face the sadness and emptiness within. For him to admit he was trapped in this emotional defensive prison was a step to far. My brother on the other hand is slowly in his late 60's discovering the door of freedom and the light within that can forever shine.
This is why transactional language in terms of knowing God declare more about the speaker and their world within than the actual spiritual content. Nicodemus was in this place with Jesus. Jesus pointed out the Kingdom is based on this spiritual and emotional revelation of who God is and what it means to us, as the doorway to heaven, which is not being a jew or obeying the law, but entering into Gods reality. God bless you