Christ_empowered
Member
This is a Praise Report (!!!).
The Lord has been kind to me. I was subjected to a lot of horrible things. Happens, I see that now. Its not just psychiatrists, counselors, etc...its the whole, wide, world. Oh, and, of course: sin, satan, self, death, and the world. Boom. Those 5 factors defined who I was, to the very core of my being, until The Lord saw fit to save me, about 4 1/2 years ago.
And now?
Well, The Lord is quite good to me, and His other children, too. I see that better now, more clearly. I am alive at all, healthy, smart, remarkably....normal, which is good, but also...whole, which is a big, big, big deal, especially for me and people like me.
Forgive 70x7. Far, far easier said than done. After praying on that and taking up my plow and pushing forward and putting aside what is behind and pressing forward....I finally seem to have, somehow, come to the end of my attempts to get 'er done in the flesh. Its one thing to say it, to think it, to sense and know it at a surface level; its quite another to be so frustrated and yet supported by The Lord that I finally prayed and felt...relief. I have, in fact, been trying to accomplish things in the flesh, no matter my prayers and statements to the contrary. Ooops.
God is good! At this point, I'm far more able to live in the moment and look to Christ and Him Crucified. Not the right meds, counseling, all that jazz, not even personal effort, not really (OK, not at all...). I kept praying, stuff kept happening (and keeps on happening...) and The Lord kept on changing me. Yet again..."Know Jesus, Know Change."
By God' grace, I am remarkably whole, now. Flawed, prone to sin patterns, I still sin....but The Lord has seen fit to make me whole, out of His goodness. I was once obviously brain damaged, dead eyed, sick (at times near death...), prematurely aged, all that stuff. Happens. Again: I see that now, more than I did before.
So, now I'm healthy, 0 premature aging, light in my eyes, smart (I even have a good IQ estimate, apparently...), and I've even got a masculine identity, a new way of being, and...and...
All the good things come from The Lord. He has even seen fit to return some memories to me, memories which had long been wiped out by heavy-handed, involuntary shock "treatments." Its...interesting. The Lord has made me less stuck in all that, thank God (!!!), but now I have enough to string together my narrative of who and what I was, what The Lord has already brought me out of, all that.
Forgive 70x7. Still easier said than done. I'm moving forward, taking up my plow and pushing forward, putting aside what is behind and pressing forward....because of Christ. He has changed me, my family, my life, my...everything, really.
So....yeah. A Praise Report. As The Lord has returned some memories to me, I see now...I needed Jesus. I also needed miracles (note the plural). I am far, far, far from perfect, definitely a work-in-progress, all that, but...
The Lord has been good to me, and I'm increasingly thankful.
The Lord has been kind to me. I was subjected to a lot of horrible things. Happens, I see that now. Its not just psychiatrists, counselors, etc...its the whole, wide, world. Oh, and, of course: sin, satan, self, death, and the world. Boom. Those 5 factors defined who I was, to the very core of my being, until The Lord saw fit to save me, about 4 1/2 years ago.
And now?
Well, The Lord is quite good to me, and His other children, too. I see that better now, more clearly. I am alive at all, healthy, smart, remarkably....normal, which is good, but also...whole, which is a big, big, big deal, especially for me and people like me.
Forgive 70x7. Far, far easier said than done. After praying on that and taking up my plow and pushing forward and putting aside what is behind and pressing forward....I finally seem to have, somehow, come to the end of my attempts to get 'er done in the flesh. Its one thing to say it, to think it, to sense and know it at a surface level; its quite another to be so frustrated and yet supported by The Lord that I finally prayed and felt...relief. I have, in fact, been trying to accomplish things in the flesh, no matter my prayers and statements to the contrary. Ooops.
God is good! At this point, I'm far more able to live in the moment and look to Christ and Him Crucified. Not the right meds, counseling, all that jazz, not even personal effort, not really (OK, not at all...). I kept praying, stuff kept happening (and keeps on happening...) and The Lord kept on changing me. Yet again..."Know Jesus, Know Change."
By God' grace, I am remarkably whole, now. Flawed, prone to sin patterns, I still sin....but The Lord has seen fit to make me whole, out of His goodness. I was once obviously brain damaged, dead eyed, sick (at times near death...), prematurely aged, all that stuff. Happens. Again: I see that now, more than I did before.
So, now I'm healthy, 0 premature aging, light in my eyes, smart (I even have a good IQ estimate, apparently...), and I've even got a masculine identity, a new way of being, and...and...
All the good things come from The Lord. He has even seen fit to return some memories to me, memories which had long been wiped out by heavy-handed, involuntary shock "treatments." Its...interesting. The Lord has made me less stuck in all that, thank God (!!!), but now I have enough to string together my narrative of who and what I was, what The Lord has already brought me out of, all that.
Forgive 70x7. Still easier said than done. I'm moving forward, taking up my plow and pushing forward, putting aside what is behind and pressing forward....because of Christ. He has changed me, my family, my life, my...everything, really.
So....yeah. A Praise Report. As The Lord has returned some memories to me, I see now...I needed Jesus. I also needed miracles (note the plural). I am far, far, far from perfect, definitely a work-in-progress, all that, but...
The Lord has been good to me, and I'm increasingly thankful.
