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How to forgive?

A

arunangelo

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Jesus was wounded for our transgressions, was bruised for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is dumb, so he opened not his mouth (Isaiah 53: 5 &7). Furthermore, during his suffering and death he forgave his persecutors (Luke 23:34); and was concerned about the suffering that would come upon us rather than his own suffering (Luke 23:28). We too must love one another as he has loved us; quietly bear each other’s burdens; forgive without any limit and bind each other’s wounds.
 
Nice post. Sometimes it is very hard to forgive. The Lord has shown me that what works for me is to pray for that person no matter how I feel at the time. I find I can't stay hurt or angry for very long. With each pray my heart softs. God is so good to me.
 
I have to work on the whole forgiveness thing. I expect it from God and others, but I'm not (always, often) able to give it in return. My Christian counselor (M.Div, great guy) advised me to pray for the other person, just like Deborah13 advised. I pray that God blesses them. I know prayer isn't designed to be therapeutic (although it is often therapeutic), but doing this has really mellowed out the rage I feel towards certain people in my life.
 
The Phillippians 2 passage about the Lord Jesus being obedient unto death, even the death of the Cross, is also likely to soften the believer's heart.
 
I have always found the forgiving side of a hurt or harm the easier action, as I prefer to turn the matter over to our Lord to deal with according to His will. And since we are admonished to pray for everyone, including those who have done us wrong, I follow that directive.

........it's the forgetting with which I occasionally face challenge. Again, I spend time in prayer that the memories of the hurt/harm are deleted from my memory banks. And it is only through prayer that the emotions are stripped from those memories until I can logically and peacefully recall the incident, all without rancor. I am able to achieve this only through the amazing grace of our Lord God .... without Him, I'm nothing.
 
AirDancer said:
I have always found the forgiving side of a hurt or harm the easier action, as I prefer to turn the matter over to our Lord to deal with according to His will. And since we are admonished to pray for everyone, including those who have done us wrong, I follow that directive.

........it's the forgetting with which I occasionally face challenge. Again, I spend time in prayer that the memories of the hurt/harm are deleted from my memory banks. And it is only through prayer that the emotions are stripped from those memories until I can logically and peacefully recall the incident, all without rancor. I am able to achieve this only through the amazing grace of our Lord God .... without Him, I'm nothing.
Click to expand...

AirDancer:

Time heals too. (But far better to let the grace of God do it, isn't it?)
 
Deborah13 said:
Nice post. Sometimes it is very hard to forgive. The Lord has shown me that what works for me is to pray for that person no matter how I feel at the time. I find I can't stay hurt or angry for very long. With each pray my heart softs. God is so good to me.
Click to expand...

Deborah13: Yes, exactly: how can one be antagonistic to someone if one is praying for that person honestly and sincerely?

Great point.

Prayer involves heart searching before God (as the Psalmist well knew).

Blessings.
 
It is important to point out that Jesus did not, necessarily, forgive his prosecutors, but did petition the Father to do so. Yet, forgiveness is a two part transaction. First the party to be forgiven must repent and ask for forgiveness, then forgiveness is given.
 
Knotical said:
It is important to point out that Jesus did not, necessarily, forgive his prosecutors, but did petition the Father to do so. Yet, forgiveness is a two part transaction. First the party to be forgiven must repent and ask for forgiveness, then forgiveness is given.
Click to expand...

K:

There is also the matter of divine purpose in those He forgives; the storm clouds that are seen may already have, hidden above them, sunlit clouds of grace and peace; they will break through for some people, but they haven't done so yet.

(Kind of what airliners experience, when they fly above the bad weather...)

"Behind a frowning Providence, He hides a smiling face.'
 
Christ_empowered said:
I know prayer isn't designed to be therapeutic (although it is often therapeutic), but doing this has really mellowed out the rage I feel towards certain people in my life.
Click to expand...
It is therapeutic. Perhaps you've noticed it's impossible to pray for someone who you are angry at or holding a grudge against. Which I think is why Jesus said to, "pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:28 NIV1984)).
 
Knotical said:
It is important to point out that Jesus did not, necessarily, forgive his prosecutors, but did petition the Father to do so. Yet, forgiveness is a two part transaction.
Click to expand...
If you're familiar with the parable of the shrewd manager, he only forgave half of what his master's debtors owed the master, not the whole thing. Debtors have to go to the Master himself to get the whole debt removed.
 
farouk said:
Deborah13: Yes, exactly: how can one be antagonistic to someone if one is praying for that person honestly and sincerely?
Click to expand...
This is what I get for not reading through the whole thread before responding to posts. If you forgive my redundancy, I'll forgive your mooses crossing over into Alaska without a visa.
 
How to Forgive?

Remember the great weight of sin you yourself have been freely forgiven.
 
Nice thread you have here Jethro :rollingpin :lol


But i forgive you....

Silliness aside....
I find the line between forgiving and forgeting kinda messy :(
 
reba said:
Silliness aside....
I find the line between forgiving and forgeting kinda messy :(
Click to expand...
Yeah, that line can be pretty wide and have fuzzy indistinct edges.

The forgetting part seems to be directly connected to the amount of pain we have to endure because of what someone has done against us and how long we have to endure it. I have great respect for people who's lives have been forever changed for the worse by someone else's wrong doing, yet they are able to truly forgive and not hold a 'remembering' grudge against them.
 
If we be in Christ then why do we have issues with forgiveness. I was humbled by reading these scriptures and now find it is very easy to forgive from the heart. Thank you surrendersacrifice for posting this important topic.


Mark 11:
24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

ISAIAH 50:6 I HID NOT MY FACE FROM SHAME.
JOHN 18:22 FIRST TO HIT JESUS WITH AN OPEN PALM ON HIS FACE WAS A PAGAN ARMY OFFICER.
JOHN 18:23 JESUS ASKED THE OFFICER "WHY DID YOU HIT ME"?
ISAIAH 50:6 I ALSO HID NOT MY FACE FROM SPITTING.
MARK 15:19 A REED HIT HIM ON THE HEAD.
LUKE 22:63 THEY HIT HIS BODY WITH THEIR FISTS.
ISAIAH 53:5 HE WAS BRUISED FOR OUR INIQUITIES.
ISAIAH 50:6 I GAVE MY CHEEKS TO THEM THAT PLUCKED OFF MY BEARD.
JOHN 19:2 A CROWN OF THORNS WAS FORCED INTO THE FLESH OF HIS HEAD
MATTTHEW 27:28 STRIPPED NAKED.
ISAIAH 50:6 I GAVE MY BACK TO THE SMITERS.
PSALMS 22:17 I COUNT MY BONES: THEY LOOK AND STARE UPON ME
ISAIAH. 53:2 WHEN WE SEE HIM, THERE IS NO BEAUTY THAT WE SHOULD DESIRE HIM.
ISAIAH 52:14 MANY WERE ASTONISHED AT HIM. HIS FACE AND BODY WAS MARRED MORE THAN ANY MAN.
JOHN 19:23 SOLDIERS CRUCIFIED CHRIST JESUS.
JOHN 19:36, PSA 34:20, NOT A BONE OF HIS BODY COULD BE BROKEN.
JOHN 10:18 NO MAN TAKES MY LIFE FROM ME I LAY IT DOWN MYSELF.
JOHN 19:34 A SOLDIER WITH A SPEAR PIERCED HIS SIDE.
 
I don't think forgiveness necessarily entails forgetting. It does mean pardoning the offense and surrendering any claim of retribution, but if someone has stolen or lied, we should not act as though nothing had been done to harm the trust which these act took advantage of.
 
The Unbeliever said:
...we should not act as though nothing had been done to harm the trust which these act took advantage of.
Click to expand...
Right. And I don't think anybody would argue with you.

'Remembering' in the context of this thread implies a grudging, hateful, unforgiving remembering of what someone did to harm you. Forgiveness is not amnesia. Forgiving means not holding people's sin guilt against them anymore, as Christ as done for those who have received his forgiveness:

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. (2 Corinthians 5:17-19 NIV1984)

And if Christ has done this for us (through acceptance of Christ) we should extend the same mercy and grace to those who have wronged us:

"32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32 NIV1984)


How can a person hold someone else's sin against them if they themselves have been forgiven their sin? Forgiveness of sin is the very epitome of the love of God we give out to others because we have first received it ourselves.

"19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:19-20 NIV1984)

This is why forgiveness is ultimately the identifying mark, or proof, of who is in Christ and who is not. It was startling to me to realize that to not forgive is to hate someone! The very thing we Christians are not supposed to do. You show, or prove, that you have received the love of God and have had your sins forgiveness by whether or not you forgive others. This is what God expects us to be growing up into to "make our calling and election sure" (2 Peter 1:5-11 NIV1984).
 
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