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How to Make the Holidays Meaningful and Enjoyable for Children in Foster Care

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The lights of all different colors on the tree, the perfect Christmas melodies, and family together for the holidays. What more could the Williams family offer their 8-year-old, Chloe, for her first Christmas in their home?

In truth, the greatest gifts they would offer would be patience, empathy, understanding, and the light of Christ. To Chloe the bright lights flashed harshly, the music was overwhelming, and she could not escape the commotion of people in and out of the house all day.

Some children in foster care run joyously into the Christmas season. For her, though, it too closely resembled the lights of a squad car, loud noises attached to harsh memories, and strangers whom she had learned not to trust.

two children embracing at Christmas


Chloe represents many of the more than 650,000 unique children who are removed from their homes and placed in foster care in the United States each year1.

At One More Child, we have been meeting the needs of vulnerable children for nearly 120 years. We have learned that for many people, sharing the holidays with children in foster care is as eye-opening and revealing as it is magical. But with a little planning, open discussion, and willingness to change plans, it can be a majestic season where the eyes of foster children experience the true joy of Christmas in an entirely new way.

Here are a few tried and true ways to connect with children in foster care – either in your home or in the homes of friends and family – this holiday season. Be open to the new traditions they may bring as you share your family’s traditions.

Christmas Movie Marathon​


Let children choose their favorites and introduce them to your favorites, too. Give everyone a fuzzy blanket and curl up on the couch, or make a pillow fort on the floor, and add some hot cocoa and tasty treats. A Charlie Brown Christmas is always a great conversation starter!

Bake and Decorate Christmas Cookies​

celebrating the holidays with children in foster care by making cookies


Sugar cookies and gingerbread people are an especially easy and fun way to let children be involved in the Christmas festivities, doing something tactile and crafty. In our house, it is huge chocolate chip cookies that are the favorite. Discover if there is a special holiday recipe that you can try to emulate the fond memory of a child in foster care. It puts screen time to rest and provides a safe and less intimidating environment for conversations and story sharing.

Involve Biological Parents the Best You Can​


We know challenges can abound at times, but so do opportunities for the spirit of Christmas to be alive in your home. Find opportunities to engage biological families in neutral settings at community holiday events. Ask your kids if they would like to bake them cookies or make them ornaments. Even if your emotions say otherwise, always be open to them wanting to purchase gifts to send to their family.

Go Christmas Light Cruising​


One (mostly) free activity you can do with your family is drive around town looking at the beautiful Christmas lights. Not only is this a low budget option – but it also provides a safe and less intimidating space for you to have open conversations with children. You can add your favorite Christmas tunes, take along snack bags, and even wear Christmas jammies! As a bonus, eventually you will land in front of a home with the most illuminating nativity display that can open the conversation about the reason we celebrate Christmas: the birth of Jesus!

Let Your Kids Lead You Into the New​

celebrating the holidays with children in foster care by decorating a tree


Don’t just assume you know the best ways to lead children in foster care out of fractured pasts into brighter futures during the holidays. Instead, ask them what is stirring in their hearts. Ask if there is a local organization or opportunity at your church they would like to serve at this holiday season. Find out if there is a Christmas tradition they have heard about but never experienced. And maybe be so bold as to work together to develop a Christmas bucket list that you intentionally work on making a reality.

Celebrate the Gift of Giving​


Almost every child is making a list and checking it twice, but they also long to experience the joy of giving! They just might not realize it yet. Provide a child in foster care a small budget to pick out gifts for you and their biological or foster siblings so that they are an active participant in the holiday fun. Consider doing a family craft like an ornament or wreath and for older children, teach them the value of purposeful words in a handmade card.

Build Anticipation with a Fun Advent Calendar​


This is a must for most families because it provides a daily time to reflect on the soon arriving Savior and associates it with a sweet treat or fun trinket. Beware, once you start this tradition, kids in your home will likely be begging for it year after year.

Bake Jesus a Birthday (or Coffee) Cake​

reading Luke 2


Kids, no matter what their upbringing, almost always enjoy celebrations that involve cake and blowing out candles. By starting Christmas morning with a special “Happy Birthday Jesus” celebration, you can set the tone by focusing on the most important gift of all. Our family always celebrates Christmas morning by reading the birth of Jesus in Luke. We read it after opening gifts because our boys are too excited to listen before.

Come Alongside a Foster Family​


Everyone plays a crucial role in ensuring children in foster care have a sense of security and belonging during the holidays despite their often challenging circumstances. If you are good friends with a foster family, offer the parents a few hours out for a date night and/or a little Christmas shopping. During that time, share a few of your traditions with the children in care, and maybe even help them make a special card or gift for their foster parents.

1Source: AFCARS Report, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

The post How to Make the Holidays Meaningful and Enjoyable for Children in Foster Care appeared first on Focus on the Family.

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